Harry Potter and the Heart Diamond
by Elpin
Summary: Pre-DH. Harry and Draco have been together secretly since fourth year, but events of year five and six conspire against them. What is Draco up to and why won't he tell Harry? How can Harry save the world and his boyfriend at the same time? Read Warnings!
1. Chapter 1

Harry Potter and the Heart Diamond

Hello all!

This is a story I originally posted only on LJ some years ago. But I have decided to post it on FF too since I want all my stories here. It means some editing in a couple of chapters due to the rating, as well as some improvements as I read through it again, but not much. I hope you all enjoy it. I thought I might post a chapter every couple of days, depending on how much interest people show.

**Warnings/categories:** Slash, sexual situations, rape, violence, AU, established relationship, fluff, angst. **Written before Deathly Hallows came out, june-july 2007.**

**Summary**: Harry and Draco have been together since forth year, though they've kept it secret. Then the events at the Ministry at the end of fifth year changes everything. Will the war come between them? What about Draco's strange behavior? Will he follow his father or his boyfriend?

**Note**: This is un-betaed, so some typoes may occur. Feel free to point them out!

**-:-**

Harry Potter lay in bed at the Dursleys. He stared at the ceiling, a mixture of anger and despair colouring his face. He was thinking, a lot, and none of it proved good for his current mood.

A back-story is perhaps needed at this moment. Harry Potter had been dating Draco Malfoy since the start of fourth year. They had of course hidden it very well (the Potter Stinks badges had in fact been Harry's own idea) and nobody suspected a thing. It had perhaps started out as something… strange, some way of relieving tension, but soon enough it had evolved into something much more. Harry loved Draco and was loved by the Slytherin in return. He alone knew the real Draco, with every quirk and habit as dear to him as Draco's sarcastic wit and intelligence. He often wondered why Draco was with him, but the blond never left him in doubt of his feelings.

Then fifth year had come around. They kept the rivalry going in public. Voldermort's return complicated things, but they decided to simply leave the whole war issue out of the relationship. When Harry returned to the Dursleys, however, that didn't seem to be an option anymore. Harry had after all put Lucius Malfoy in Azkaban. He hadn't spoken to Draco after the incident, but he knew the Slytherin must hate him now.

Harry closed his eyes and sighed. He was hurting for Sirius as well. In fact he felt slightly guilty if he spent too much time worrying over Draco. The combination of extreme guilt, sorrow and worry over the future of his relationship was too much, and Harry often found himself crying. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried so much. Once again he fell asleep, his mind unable to worry or grieve anymore, and was haunted by nightmares of Sirius dying and Draco rejecting him.

XXX

Harry steeled himself as he walked into the Great Hall. He wasn't sure if he wanted the floor to swallow him up or if he wanted to run straight to the Slytherin table and beg Draco to forgive him. He snorted inwardly at his thoughts. There was no chance in hell Draco was going to forgive him. Harry's eyes scanned the crowd almost imperceptibly, a technique he had mastered since he started dating Draco, and soon he spotted the blond already seated at the Slytherin table. Harry didn't know if he wanted to catch his boyfriend's eye or not, but in any chase he did not. Boyfriend? He wasn't so sure anymore about that. He sat down dejectedly in his seat and barely noticed the speech and sorting. Not once did the Slytherin look his way, and Harry thought he deserved that, and much more.

XXX

If Hogwart's could speak, she would tell Harry to stop making pacing marks in her old stone – she got enough wear and tear from the hundreds of students every day. Harry wouldn't have heard her anyway, he was too preoccupied. He wanted to either scream, cry, knock himself unconscious or all of the above. He was waiting, rather patiently considering, at their usual place. It was a small circular room, it's door hidden behind a tapestry, which Harry had found on the map. It was empty, with stonewalls and a single window, but perfect for privacy. Harry didn't know what the room had been used for, but since it was empty he didn't think they would be found. He sat down, leaning against the wall and hugging his knees to his chest.

Merlin, he just wanted Draco to show up. Getting into a duel would be better than just being ignored. Harry and Draco had done many things to each other, as rivals and lovers, but they seldom ignored each other, if ever. Harry rested his head on his knees and breathed deeply. 'Please,' he begged. 'Just let him come and hex me.' He felt he deserved everything Draco could throw at him. It didn't matter if Lucius was an evil bastard, Draco loved the man, and Harry knew what he would want to do to someone who had put his father in prison.

Draco was late. They used to meet once a week at the same place, same time, but Draco wasn't here. Harry sighed. What had he expected?

Suddenly the door creaked open slowly, the sound eerily loud in the empty room. Harry held his breath as it swung open and he beheld Draco. The blond was standing stone still it seemed, his hand still on the door. There was a long silence.

'Potter,' Draco said and Harry visibly deflated. His shoulders slumped and he bowed his head. They never used last names when alone. Harry wanted to cry. Draco was here to tell him he hated him and never wanted to see his face again. It felt like a ton of bricks had landed in his stomach. He held in his tears, however, and forced himself to look up again. Little did he know that his cheeks were already wet with tears, and they shone in the light from the doorway. Draco finally let go of the door and stepped forwards. He walked silently and then slid gracefully down to his knees in front of Harry. They stared at each other for a long time. Harry cursed Draco for the blonde's perfect mask and himself for his inability to read anything once Draco schooled his features. He could not see rejection or forgiveness, neither love nor hatred.

'Harry,' Draco said softly and the Gryffindor thought that was even worse. He couldn't stand it! He bowed his head again and felt the lump in his throat making it difficult to breathe. A sob racked his frame before he even had time to suppress it. He felt the weight of Sirius' death on his shoulders as well, along with a good dose of self-pity. He sobbed again, unable to do or think anything else.

XXX (_months earlier_)

Draco sat thinking. He was sitting in his father's study, in his father's chair and staring at his father's desk. The Malfoy heir was contemplating a lot of things. Mainly how he felt about his father's imprisonment. He wanted to forgive Harry, but he wanted to hex him too for his Gryffindor foolishness. Running off to the Ministry like that without even telling him! For what? He didn't know, but it had landed his father in Azkaban. He knew they couldn't keep the war away forever. He had been a fool to keep seeing Harry, but he was a Slytherin first. That meant that he was ultimately a selfish prat and he had wanted Harry, so he had forgotten about Malfoy duty for those stolen moments. He would no doubt forgive Harry and forget Malfoy pride the moment he saw the green-eyed beauty, because that was just the kind of person Draco was. Selfish and spoiled. He had his father to thank for that.

Then everything changed the moment he was brought before the Dark Lord, and he needed every bit of Occlumency his father had taught him…

XXX

Draco pushed the door open slowly, wondering if Harry was even there at all. The sight that met him chilled and warmed his heart at the same time. Harry looked so utterly small sitting on the floor and hugging his knees. It made it so much harder for Draco to do what he had to do. He saw clearly the guilt and despair in those eyes and he wanted nothing more than to replace it with something else. But that wasn't meant to be. He needed to tell Harry that they couldn't be together. They were on different sides of a war now, he would say. Merlin, Draco wanted to just tell Harry everything. Did he really want Harry to think he was… but he couldn't tell the truth. No one could know. He needed to say what he came here to say, but when he opened his mouth all that came out was:

'Potter.' He saw Harry deflate and cursed himself for his cowardly ways. 'Just say it! Say goodbye!' he thought, 'stop being a selfish prat for once in your life and tell him!' If he continued seeing Harry it would only make it worse if he failed… which was definitely an option from where Draco was currently standing. Then Harry lifted his head and Draco saw the tears. Fuck, the stupid Gryffindor probably hated himself more than Draco did for what happened. Draco knew he blamed Harry for it, but he admitted he blamed his father more for following that-… best not to go there now.

He put his mask on and walked forward, kneeling down in front of his love. He had always thought that rejection should be dealt with face to face, as it was the most dignified way.

'Harry,' he said softly, wondering why his voice had lost all power. The reaction he got was unexpected. Harry bowed his head and a sob escaped him. Draco froze, staring. The boy was probably hurting over his godfather as well, Draco knew. So much guilt. Harry always felt guilty; Draco had known that since the end of the Triwizard Tournament. He couldn't remember the number of times he had screamed: 'It wasn't your fault! Cedric made his choice.' He briefly wondered what the man, Sirius Black, had been like. Whether he would have approved of Harry's relationship with him. His thoughts were cut short as Harry sobbed louder.

Draco had never comforted anyone much before. After Cedric's death there hadn't been much time to talk and the next year they had argued about it more than anything. For a moment Draco's selfishness showed itself again: 'What the fuck is he crying over?' he thought savagely. It was Lucius Malfoy who was in prison! 'He should be the one comforting me!' Draco shook himself. No time for that. Harry was obviously very sorry and distraught. Draco suddenly realised he had forgiven Harry everything. He gently put a hand on the boy's shoulder and got an immediate reaction. Harry flung himself around Draco's neck and sobbed again. Draco was shocked, but held Harry nonetheless. He tried remembering words of comfort his mother might have used, but couldn't think of a single thing to say. In the end Harry solved that problem.

'I'm sorry, Draco. I- Fuck! So much happened that night. I was just trying to save Sirius, and I couldn't even do that, and… I'm sorry.'

'Save Sirius?' Draco asked. Harry drew away slowly and wiped at his face. He looked away. 'Tell me what happened,' Draco urged. Harry began to explain in a hushed whisper. The vision and the events at the Ministry became clear. Draco knew that if he hadn't forgiven Harry before he would have now. He could only imagine what he would have done had he seen his own godfather like that… probably not something that drastic, but then again, he wasn't a Gryffindor. 'I'm sorry,' Harry repeated, sounding so full of hurt Draco nearly felt like crying.

'It's ok, Harry. I forgive you. It wasn't your fault.' Harry looked up and stared at him almost in awe. Draco could almost feel when Harry wanted to move closer. He quickly turned and sat beside Harry, mirroring the boy's earlier posture. He needed to get it out. 'But that doesn't mean things can go back to the way they were Harry.'

'What do you mean?'

'I mean we shouldn't see each other anymore. I'm Draco Malfoy, you're Harry Potter. We are destined to be enemies. This wasn't meant to happen. Fate has already made it impossible.' Draco expected Harry to get angry and cry 'I don't believe in fate!' or something of that nature, but Harry just sat there and stared at the floor. Where was the Gryffindor now? Fighting for true love and all that? Draco suddenly wanted Harry to argue, because maybe then he could just indulge himself and be selfish and not let Harry think that he was going to become a-

'I suppose you're right.' Harry cut off his thoughts and Draco closed his eyes briefly, cursing fate and all those who believed in it. 'But I need to ask you, Draco, are you going to become a Death Eater?' Harry raised his head and looked directly into Draco's eyes. Those green eyes had to hold some magic because Draco couldn't look away for the longest time, and for a moment he thought perhaps Harry had seen it all.

'You can't ask me that Harry,' he said, ripping his gaze away.

'Why not? I need to know.' Draco felt a lump in his throat. By not answering he was making sure Harry hated him. 'What else can I tell him?' he thought miserably, 'I got a mission from Voldermort himself, telling me to kill off Dumbledore or me and my family dies. I'm going to have to actually give it my best effort so it looks real while I figure out a way to get out of it.' That he couldn't say. If Harry knew then Dumbledore would know, then Snape would know, then… then they would all be dead. So instead he just let Harry think the worst of him. Better to have him full of hatred like before.

'I can't answer you, Harry,' he repeated.

'Ok… so... we just go back to how it was before? Pretend nothing ever happened between us?' Why did Harry sound so sad, so weak? He was supposed to be the Gryffindor! Draco really needed that strength, because he knew he wasn't strong himself. But he couldn't have it anymore. It was impossible.

'I don't see any other options,' he said as calmly as he could.

'But we'll know. I can't just forget! I love you!' Suddenly Harry was fierce again and Draco allowed himself to be bathed in the strength of Harry's love that was like a sun to him. But he could only indulge himself for a moment. He sighed.

'There is nothing else to be done with it. We cannot continue this. You must understand. I know you didn't mean to get my father sent to Azkaban, but I can't see you anymore.' Draco closed his eyes and just breathed for a moment, amazed that he had gotten it out.

'Yeah… you're right.' Draco wanted to scream now. How could Harry give up like that without a fight? He wanted to say that he loved him too, if only to make Harry argue more, but he knew that would be unfair. A silence fell over them, both staring into space. Draco didn't know how long they sat like that. He felt as if he couldn't move to save his life.

'I- … we should get going,' Harry said finally, and Draco nodded without looking at him. They rose at the same time and Harry left quickly without another word. Draco was glad, because his throat was so tight he couldn't swallow his own spit, let alone say goodbye to his lover for the last time.

When Harry fell down onto his bed that night he felt as if he had run a mile. He had run back to the common room, but he wasn't really winded, but still he felt so tired. He sighed and buried his head in his pillow. Draco had said that fate was keeping them apart. A few months ago Harry would have told him he had been spending too much time in the tower with Trelawney. Now, though, how could he not believe in fate when his whole life was dictated by it? Did he really have the right to beg Draco to stay with him when a prophecy existed that suggested Harry had a seriously short life span? No, he couldn't do that to Draco. That didn't stop the physical pain he felt in his chest, like he would either explode or cave in on himself. He wanted so badly to just hold Draco, kiss him one last time. Another sob escaped him. It was too much. There was too much injustice in the world. Another surge of guilt washed over him as he realised he probably hurt more over losing Draco than Sirius. He cried himself to sleep that night as well.


	2. Chapter 2

Important note: This is slightly AU as it says in the warnings, and therefore it is important to note that althought Snape knows about Draco's task no one else does, and he has NOT taken the unbreakable vow, as that would completely screw with my story.

Also important to note is that a lot of the events of HBP (like the meetings with Dumbledore!) take place in this, but are not described, since everyone has read the book and it would therefore be redundant.

-:-

_Chapter 2_

'Harry, are you feeling alright?' Hermione asked worriedly as they sat down to breakfast the next morning. Harry looked up at her and smiled weakly.

'Yeah, I'm fine Hermione, just… you know.' Hermione nodded knowingly and Harry just let her find her own conclusions. He put some food on his plate, but didn't eat more than a few bites.

'You know we are always here for you? You can talk to us,' she said. Ron nodded his agreement, though he didn't look as confident about it as Hermione did. Harry tried smiling again, but just couldn't be bothered to reassure them more. They thought he was still upset about Sirius and were probably worried over why he was still grieving so much after having the whole summer to do so, but Harry wasn't done grieving, not by a long shot.

'I'll be ok, but thanks for the offer,' he said, trying to sound sincere. He couldn't help looking over at the Slytherin table. It was habit by now. Draco was sitting at his usual place, looking perhaps a little paler than normal, with definite bags under his eyes. Harry felt nothing but guilt seeing him like that, blaming himself yet again. He stared down at his plate, wondering how his body could physically ache like this.

Snape narrowed his eyes as he surveyed the Gryffindor Golden Boy and Slytherin Ice Prince. The pair looked like death. 'Foolish boy,' Snape thought, not entirely sure which of the boys he meant. Harry and Draco thought they were being so discreet that no one knew of their night-time escapades. Snape snorted inwardly. Of course he knew! He wasn't Head of Slytherin and a successful spy for nothing! Much as he hater Potter personally he couldn't ignore the fact that the boy was the symbol for the side that Snape was, believe it or not, working for. He also knew that the relationship between Harry and Draco would most likely be beneficial for Draco, a chance for the boy to get out from under his father's shadow and perhaps not get swallowed up by Voldermort. No such luck it seemed.

Snape had wondered how the capture of Lucius would affect them. He had strong doubts about Draco's ability to forgive and forget such an offence to his father. Then he had learned of Draco's task and he had wondered if perhaps the whole relationship with Potter had been fake, a method to get close to the enemy. But then why on earth did they both look so irritatingly sad? Would Draco's obvious feelings for Potter make him reconsider his mission? Snape could only hope the boy was smart enough to go to Dumbledore for help. Then again, he wasn't sure if he wanted Draco to go to the Headmaster. The old coot would probably want to use Draco like he did Snape himself. Snape couldn't decide what was the safest option for his godson at the moment. He decided he needed to do some serious thinking, and observing.

Draco tried eating, but his throat hadn't really opened up since last night. He didn't even notice when Snape came by with the timetables. Pansy kept gossiping about what had happened during the summer, probably trying to get his mind off his father. Draco wasn't thinking about his father though, not at the moment at least. He was using every ounce of willpower he possessed to not look at the Gryffindor table. He wondered how his body could physically ache for Harry's touch. He hadn't missed the sex that much during the summer, but once at Hogwarts it seemed like his body knew he should be able to hold Harry again. They hadn't had real sex that many times together, and it had been rather clumsy and inexperienced. Just a few times at the end of last year, but he still felt as if his whole body was being denied air.

Harry stared at his timetable. Fucking Merlin with his staff, he couldn't believe it. First class of the day: Double Potions with the Slytherins. He wanted to scream, which was better than crying at least, but not by much. He sighed and followed Ron and Hermione like a dog on a leash, then he mentally slapped himself for the simile. He kept his eyes to his feet and barely registered when they entered the classroom. They sat in the back like always, and Harry kept his eyes on the desk, but it was like a ball of flame passed by him when Draco entered – his eyes were drawn up like moths. And then just as quickly everything went dark as Draco sat down without a glance in his direction.

Draco came in and almost stopped short when he saw Harry hunched over his desk, but he managed to walk past quickly and sit down at the front like always. Crabbe and Goyle to one side and Pansy to the other. The girl was going on about who would most likely be new couples by Christmas. Draco found he had no more passion for house politics at all. The class went fairly well, potions being one of the few things that could always distract him, but every time Snape took points from Harry it felt like a knife in his chest. Just hearing the name made him want to hex himself.

Harry managed to avoid Draco for the rest of the day. At lunch and dinner he repeated his tactic of staring at his plate no matter what. It made Hermione and Ron more worried, but that was better than getting tears in his eyes from looking at the Slytherin table.

As they walked out of the Great Hall after dinner Hermione repeated her question from breakfast. Ron added his worried comments about not looking all that great. Harry tried to reassure them. He told them he was just tired because he had a nightmare, which was actually true.

Many people - that is every person that was even remotely familiar with Draco except for Harry - thought that the Slytherin hated Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger almost as much as he hated Potter. Well, they weren't exactly spot on about Potter now were they? So in fact he didn't mind them so much, though he had never told Harry his thoughts about them, nor had he treated them any differently when he realised it. He saw their worry for their friend as they questioned Harry yet again. Pansy didn't do that. She just assumed he wanted to be left alone, and he supposed he did, in some ways.

He found Ron to be quite the mystery. The boy seemed so dim in classes and… well everywhere, but Harry had told Draco about the chess game in first year. Someone who could play chess like that was a worthy opponent. Hermione, well, she was actually the other reason, aside from Harry, that made Draco revaluate his views on muggleborns. She was the best in their year. Longbottom, a pureblood, was the worst. Crabbe and Goyle, also purebloods, were no better. All the many muggleborns at the school got either good or decent grades. Draco wasn't stupid. He knew their society needed new blood or they would all be Crabbes or Goyles from all the inbreeding. But just because he realised that blood didn't really affect your ability to do magic, didn't mean he wanted to fight for a bunch of strangers, for some noble cause. He just wanted to save himself, and his family. He waited for the Trio to move up the stairs before he disappeared into the dungeons.

XXX

Draco supposed it was inevitable. They did go to the same school. They were in the same year. They even attended some of their classes together. It was therefore a little unexpected to almost literally walk into The Boy Who Lived as he was leaving the Arithmancy classroom later in the week. They locked eyes and Draco couldn't look away. There was nothing to be said, nothing to read in those eyes, no message of secret love delivered by a sly smile before they threw their insults. Two years and now nothing, a blank stare that seemed to go on forever. Draco wondered if he was gaping like a fish on land. He was trying to open his mouth to say something, an insult hopefully, but he was terrified of what might come out instead. So he just pushed passed Harry and walked away quickly. He thought he heard Hermione coming out and saying something like: 'What was that about?' Draco hadn't even seen Ron standing beside them.

Damn. Damn it all to hell. Harry tried to shrug their questions off. He tried to say that he had no more information than they had about Draco's odd behaviour. That didn't explain his own odd behaviour, though. His throat had closed up at the sight of Draco so close. He wanted to say he hadn't meant any of it. He needed Draco more than anyone, and yet it was impossible. Harry didn't really believe Draco would become a Death Eater, but there was still the whole rival thing. Ron and Hermione would probably drag him off to St. Mungo's if he declared his love for Draco Malfoy suddenly. Maybe they should for all he knew. He wasn't feeling very sane lately. He didn't even listen when Hermione was musing over how changed Malfoy seemed, or how he didn't look so good. Harry just shrugged. He went to bed early, dreading the next day, the next week, the next year. For a moment he cursed Voldermort for always having to wait until the end of the year to do something. It seemed unfair that he would have to wait so long.

XXX

The first match of the season was between Slytherin and Gryffindor. Everyone was excited as they made their way to the pitch, which Harry thought quite unfair, as he was dreading this Quiddith match like never before. The usual fluttery exciting nervousness was gone, and only dread remained. He had been avoiding Draco at all costs, making sure not to look at him, but with Quiddith they would be forced to look at each other. It wouldn't do to lose the Snitch just because he wasn't paying attention to the other seeker.

Draco steeled himself and put on his mask before he walked onto the pitch. He focused on Madam Hooch and tried to ignore the entire Gryffindor team. Then, as he mounted his broom and shot into the air, he had to let his gaze roam and in the end it landed on Harry. The entire match was spent avoiding each other's gazes instead of looking for the Snitch. Draco would have laughed if it had been anyone else. How pathetic could you get? He actually felt relief for the first time in weeks when Harry shot forwards. He flew off in hot pursuit, but knew he had been way too distracted to catch up in time. Sure enough, Harry caught it quickly, not looking particularly thrilled about it. Draco took his time in flying back down to earth, making sure both teams were already off the pitch. He had never felt so empty while playing Quiddith. The game usually gave the couple a place to be "open" about their relationship. They could have the friendly rivalry and at the same time send each other knowing glances high up in the air where no one would see, but was still public. Now it seemed even that had died. Everything they had was gone, even their hatred. Draco cursed under his breath. This wasn't the way it was supposed to go!

'All right, Harry, you're going to tell me what's wrong,' Ron said in a stern voice once everyone else had gone from the locker room. Harry sighed and ran a hand through his hair. They were sitting on opposite benches, Harry resting his elbows on his knees and Ron looking both worried and a little angry.

'We won didn't we?' Harry said, not meeting Ron's eyes. The redhead snorted.

'You know this isn't about that Harry. You were distracted today. The only reason you caught the Snitch was because Malfoy didn't seem to be doing any better. I'm not stupid, Harry. Tell me what's wrong!' Harry sighed and tried to think of an excuse. Anything was better than: 'Oh, me and Malfoy broke up the first day of school and now I can hardly look at him without blubbering like some first year with a crush.' Just then there was a knock on the door. Ron called for them to come in and Hermione stepped hesitantly into the room. Harry rolled his eyes. Couldn't they just accept that he was grieving or whatever and leave him alone?

'Harry,' she said softly, sitting down beside Ron. They shared a knowing glance. Harry resisted the urge to yell at them and stared resolutely at the floor instead. 'Do you… want to talk about what's bothering you?' He closed his eyes briefly, putting on a mask scarily reminiscent of Malfoy's mask, and looked up at them.

'I'm fine guys. I know you're worried, but I'll get over it. It takes time, you know?' He hoped they would simply assume he was referring to Sirius. Indeed, what else was there to get over? Ron and Hermione looked at each other again and for a moment Harry grew apprehensive that they had actually assumed right. Hermione turned back, looking apprehensive herself.

'Do you know what's wrong with Malfoy?'

'Why would I know anything about him?' Harry asked immediately. He was inwardly relieved when both shrugged slightly.

'I think… well, we think he's up to something,' Hermione said. Harry frowned.

'What makes you say that? Up to what? He's had his own loss to deal with you know.' Harry regretted adding that last bit the moment he had said it. Ron raised his eyebrows dubiously.

'Come on, Harry, you know the little bugger isn't going to just sit still while his father's in Azkaban. He'll want revenge.' Harry sighed and hung his head. He couldn't believe his friends. They weren't usually ones to suspect without good reason. So what if Malfoy looked a little under the weather lately? Harry knew he didn't look much better. He wanted to tell them everything so bad, or maybe just tell them to shut up and mind their own business.

'I don't think he's up to anything,' Harry said quietly, not knowing what else he could say. He didn't want Ron and Hermione to give Draco a hard time over something that was Harry's fault.

'How do you know that, Harry?' Hermione asked.

'I don't, but… I know Malfoy and-'

'You know Malfoy?' Ron cut him off, gaping at him. Harry didn't bother looking up; he could see Ron's expression clearly in his mind.

'I have actually been going to school with the git for over five years now. He may be an arrogant and spoiled brat, but I don't think he'll be a good Death Eater. It's not in him.' There was a long silence and Harry wondered if they hadn't guessed it all. It had really killed him every time he had to lie about where he was going or sneak behind their backs, but it couldn't be helped. He had deserved to be a little selfish, just for a little while. 'I'm tired. I'm going to clean up and then go to bed,' he said and rose, walking into the shower to get undressed without another word.

When Ron and Hermione left together they didn't say a word as they walked back to Gryffindor Tower. It wasn't until they sat down at a table in a corner of the common room that Ron spoke up.

'You think something's going on between them?' he asked, not really knowing what he was asking and yet dreading the answer. Hermione sat with her brow furrowed for a long moment.

'Well, there was the confrontation outside Arithmancy. They just stared at each other. And they haven't even looked at each other since. Last year they were practically at each other's throats and now… nothing. You'd think Malfoy would want to get Harry good if he blames him for his father.' Ron nodded his agreement. 'I'm sure there's some other explanation. It's Malfoy after all. They hate each other.' Ron sighed and nodded again. He was convince Malfoy was just biding his time.

'You still think the ferret is up to something, though, right?' he asked after another long pause.

'I don't know… maybe.'


	3. Chapter 3

My muse is dead on The Price of Family, I don't know why. While I get it reanimated here's more of Heart Diamond so at least you have something to read.

Chapter 3

'I would like to make an announcement,' Dumbledore's voice rose above the usual clamour of the Great Hall. Everybody went quiet fairly quickly. It wasn't a common occurrence after all, so the curiosity quelled any urges to keep gossiping. The Headmaster cleared his throat and the twinkle was bright enough to blind those sitting closest to the staff table. 'This year we are going to have a very special Halloween celebration. There will be a ball.'

Dumbledore was interrupter by several shouts of approval and he gestured for them to settle down before he continued. 'A traditional masked ball to promote house unity, which is so important in times like these. For those of you who do not know I shall explain. Everyone will be required to wear dress robes and before you enter the Hall you will be given special masks. Plain black for boys and white for girls. These are magical and will make it _almost_ impossible for anyone to recognise you, even if they know you well.' The Headmaster paused while the students digested this news. Harry didn't really care about the masks, only that it meant he would have to ask someone to a ball again. His mind drifted automatically to Draco and he felt a constricting feeling over his heart.

'Now,' Dumbledore continued. 'The masks aren't so strong that you won't be able to recognise you're date of course. Otherwise you could lose each other on the dance floor,' he said playfully. 'If you concentrate enough it is possible to recognise friends if you are lucky, but I believe it will still be a lot of fun. That is all, please go back to your meal.' With that breakfast continued with its usual noise level slightly elevated.

''Mione?' Ron asked suddenly turning her. Harry glanced up from his breakfast, looking through his bangs. Could it be? Was Ron going to prove he was a Gryffindor once and for all? Hermione turned to him and something in his eyes made her look hopeful.

'Yes, Ron?' she asked carefully, obviously not wanting to get her hopes up too much. Harry watched in silence as the pair stared at each other. He sighed inwardly, wishing he could just waltz over to the Slytherin table and get down on one knee- Wait… that was a little extreme, wasn't it? Harry shook himself. He must be going insane.

'Will you go with me to the Halloween ball?' Ron asked with surprising calm. Even Hermione seemed taken aback by the tone, but she quickly recovered and smiled at him.

'I would love to,' she said and he visibly relaxed. They both blushed as they went back to their breakfast. Harry resisted the urge to cry-

'About bloody time!' Seamus cried, who obviously hadn't bothered to resist anything. Dean and Neville laughed and Ron blushed a deeper shade of red. Hermione wasn't much better.

'Yeah, but now you owe me five galleons,' Dean said. Seamus rolled his eyes and handed the money over. Ron and Hermione gaped at them. Harry couldn't help but look over Hermione's shoulder at the Slytherin table. Draco looked no different, pale and drawn, just like Harry felt.

XXX

Draco walked right through the Slytherin common room. He silently cheered when Pansy and Blaise were nowhere in sight. He was beginning to get more than a little annoyed at their questioning. The fact that when they weren't bothering him they were snogging shamelessly didn't help matters. Honestly, they needed to get a room. A private room. Draco walked down the stairs to the sixth year dormitory and opened the door. He was so caught up in his own thoughts he didn't even see the couple on one of the beds before he was by his own. He started slightly, but managed to glare at them even though Pansy and Blaise were just sitting quietly beside each other. Draco knew what that meant. Intervention time. Damn. He didn't have time for this! He had too much to do! He needed to come up with an idea to kill off Dumbledore that wouldn't actually work, but still look convincing while he figured out a way to get his family out of harms way. Not to mention schoolwork and the sheer agony inside him every time he laid eyes on Harry. And now he was going to have to find a date to the ball as well because Pansy wouldn't come with him this time. Bloody hell, when did his life get so full?

'Draco?' The blond shook himself and realised they were staring at him, probably waiting for him to explode on them or something. He sat down heavily on the bed, feeling overwhelmingly tired all of a sudden.

'Yes, Pansy, what can I do for you?' he said sarcastically, but without his usual zeal.

'You can start by telling me what's wrong,' she said. Draco suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at her.

'You know I'm not going to answer that,' he said calmly, not looking at the pair.

'Draco, we're just worried about you. You look awful.'

'Gee, thanks.'

'I'm serious. You look like you could drop dead any second.'

'Wouldn't be the worst that could happen,' Draco said before he could stop himself.

'Draco!' Pansy exclaimed. Blaise put an arm around her shoulders. Draco sighed. He knew they were worried. He was bloody worried too. He was terrified. He couldn't be bothered to reassure his friends as well. A good long sleep didn't sound that bad at the moment.

'Look. Pansy. Blaise. I appreciate your concern, but… I have a lot on my mind, ok? I'm feeling a little… depressed.' He hoped they would take the hint and assume he was referring to his father's current situation.

'We don't believe that's it, Draco. There's obviously something else you're not telling us.'

'Just leave it, will you!' he exclaimed in frustration. He couldn't deal with this. He got up and crossed the room.

'Draco, please,' Blaise spoke for the first time. Draco didn't stop. He stalked out of the Slytherin common room with his best glare in place to ward off all who wanted to talk to him. He didn't come back down until long after curfew.

XXX

Harry hadn't asked anyone to the ball, couldn't even think about it, so he went alone so at least his friends wouldn't nag at him for not coming. On Halloween night he kept his dress robes hidden, wanting to make it extra difficult for his friends to recognise him. He wanted to just blend in with the crowd. Just be a normal student for once. He waited for the other boys to leave before he put on his green dress robes and walked down to the Great Hall alone. He was a little self-conscious about his robes. They were more expensive than anything he had ever worn, and he had ordered them without seeing them first-hand. It hardly mattered though, as no one would recognize him.

As he entered the Hall a masked person handed him a simple, though enchanted, black mask that covered his eyes and nose. He put it on and it was held in place by magic. Moving though the already thick crowd he took in the décor. The usual Halloween decorations were in place, floating pumpkins included. The house tables were, however, gone and instead small round tables were placed all around the edges of the dance floor. A wizarding band Harry didn't recognise was playing a fast song and many were dancing.

Making his way over to the longer buffet table he found drinks and all kinds of Halloween candy. He took a goblet of Butterbeer and turned to scan the crowd. They all looked happy and carefree.

Draco had never been gladder to put on a mask in his life. Considering the only other mask he thought he would be putting on in the near future this was heaven. He moved through the doors to the Great Hall and saw that for once that not a single person glanced his way. His thoughts strayed to Harry and he wondered if the Golden Boy was feeling the same relief. Scanning the crowd he tried to see Pansy's very pink dress, which should have been easy, but the enchantment of the masks prevented him from recognizing her that easily. He shrugged inwardly and made his way over to the refreshments, wondering if he should try and find a boy to dance with or just settle for a girl.

Walking towards the table his eyes drifted casually over the people around him, trying to see someone he knew, but not really trying. Then quite suddenly his feet stopped short, along with his heart. Green eyes bore into him and it was like he could feel his own magic ripping through that of the charm on the mask. Was there ever any doubt, really, that a simple party mask could hide such eyes from him?

Harry wouldn't have noticed if the goblet had fallen from his hand in that moment, but luckily he had put it aside. If Voldermort himself had interrupted Harry wouldn't have bothered with more than a "bugger off, I'm busy". He felt the same weight on his heart as he gazed into those grey eyes, almost silver, and he felt the same yearning. Couldn't he just…? No one would know. They would be able to dance. In front of everybody. Oh, Merlin, he wanted to so much, but Draco would turn him down. He was sure of it. The Slytherin would just say something about playing with fire…

A part of Draco's mind was amazed that someone hadn't noticed the two boys who couldn't stop staring at each other, but it was a very small part and Draco had bigger things to worry about. Could he? Would Harry say yes? But it was impossible, pointless, not to mention damaging to his already fragile state of mind. Of their own accord Draco's feet started moving forwards. He couldn't breathe. His need from before seemed to have increased tenfold and he was desperate to just _touch_. Harry's green robes made him look beautiful. They were clearly expensive. Draco had always told him he should wear more green.

The black mask against the pale skin and platinum blond hair made Draco look like some… well, Harry didn't know what exactly, but it was hot and gorgeous. Harry felt his mouth watering and when Draco moved forward his heart skipped a beat. Fuck, yes, he could do this. He was going to. He was going to dance with the man he loved in front of everybody. Draco reached out when he came close, his fingers twining with Harry's almost automatically. They stared at each other, hands holding, chests only inches apart.

'Would you like to dance, stranger?' Draco asked. He was completely surprised that he managed to appear calm even now. Harry seemed to be having more of a problem as he only nodded. Draco turned, not letting go of Harry's hand and led him to the dance floor. The slow song was still going and once they had found a spot among the couples Draco put his arms around Harry's neck. The Gryffindor put his hands around Draco's waist and pulled him closer. Draco supposed he should have led as he was slightly taller and he had been the one to ask, but the last time they had danced Harry had held him like this, and Draco thought it was the best feeling in the world. As his eyes never left Harry's he remembered how he had protested atop the Astronomy Tower. There had been no music. He had called Harry crazy, but the Gryffindor had just laughed and twirled him around. It had been…

Magical. Harry knew he should stop using that expression. It was muggle and practically everything in the room was magical. But this; holding Draco in his arms, it was perfect. It was the only time he actually enjoyed being the hero. He wanted to keep Draco safe forever. He had told the blond that once. Draco had started calling him…

My Hero. Draco had stopped after a week because he couldn't get his tone as teasing as he would have liked. It was pointless now, though. Harry couldn't protect him. No one could, and he knew why. But don't think about that now. Yet it was never far from his mind.

'This isn't a good idea,' he whispered, feeling Harry should know this. Harry smiled slightly and pressed closer. 'I'm serious… we shouldn't…'

'We're just dancing, stranger. No harm in that is there?' Harry's voice was low and deep. Their bodies were so close Draco couldn't help but feel aroused. It had been so, so long.

'H-Harry...' Draco's head was feeling heavy. It was tilting forwards. Maybe Harry's head felt like that too because his head was tilting as well. Then their lips were mashed together as if they had never been apart. All other thoughts fled Draco's mind and for the first time in months he could just _feel_ and not think about anything.

'Yes!' A voice inside Harry cried in triumph. He was kissing Draco. It felt like it had been a century since he had done that. A shiver ran down his spine as Draco licked along his bottom lip. He opened his mouth, but before anything else could happen he felt a sharp poke to his shoulder. The pair pulled apart and turned to meet a very sour looking professor McGonagall.

'I believe that is quite enough. There are younger students here. I can't take points as I don't know to which house you belong, but I will remove your masks if you continue.' With that she turned and stalked away. Harry and Draco were still in each other's arms. They looked back at each other and Harry saw a flicker of doubt in the grey eyes. No! We'll have none of that. He quickly grabbed Draco's hand and dragged the Slytherin towards the exit. It took awhile to get passed everyone, but soon they making their way up the stairs.

'Wait, Harry, stop,' Draco said, but not putting up much of a fight. He shouldn't do this. They shouldn't be doing this. It would only cause more heartache in the long run.

'Don't think, Draco. This night is magical,' Harry said without stopping or turning. Harry wanted to ask Draco if he knew of the Room of Requirement, but then he really didn't want to take time explaining so he just made his way to the Gryffindor tower. They had snuck in there before with the cloak, and although they didn't have it now there wouldn't be anyone there. And besides: no one could recognise them.

'Harry, I-' Draco cut himself off. Could he really pass this up? He wanted it too much. It was so easy to just allow Harry to lead him up. He was such a good follower…

They reached the portrait and Harry murmured the password. Inside they found a few first years who had been too scared to go no doubt, but Harry ignored them and kept dragging Draco along. The Slytherin was once again thankful for the masks. Once inside the sixth year dorm, which was very thankfully empty, Harry shoved Draco up against the closest wall and attached himself to Draco's neck. The blond groaned. Merlin, he had missed that mouth.

'Harry,' he murmured like a prayer.

'Draco,' the Gryffindor whispered against the pale skin.

'We-… this is wrong,' Draco heard himself say. What a time to grow a conscience! Harry lifted his head and ripped off his mask, staring into Draco's eyes. The Slytherin was at once left breathless as he beheld that face and those eyes, shining with intensity.

'How is this wrong?' Harry asked in all seriousness. Draco swallowed hard past the lump in his throat.

'What about… tomorrow?' Draco asked instead of answering.

'We will meet tomorrow when it comes,' came the calm, yet determined reply. Draco would have laughed at the Gryffindor-ness of the saying, but couldn't find his voice. Instead he settled for devouring Harry's tongue. Both boys groaned and moaned as they stumbled towards the bed, ripping at clothing along the way. They were down to their boxers when Draco's knees bumped against the bed. A second later he laid sprawled on it, gazing up as Harry quickly removed his last piece of clothing. Draco drank the sight in as much as he could before Harry bent down and tugged Draco's boxers off, pouncing on him the next second. They rocked together as all their sexual frustration was finally finding a release, though they were not quite there yet.

'Your mask,' Harry said as he lifted his head so he could remove it. After he tossed it aside he caressed Draco's face for a moment and the blond forgot about everything, even his needy cock. 'Hello, stranger,' he whispered with a small smile.

'Hi,' Draco breathed back. He felt emotionally overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. He held his breath as Harry leaned down and kissed him. It was so chaste and gentle it was almost painful. 'Fuck me,' Draco said, just to get rid of it, the moment, before he the lump in his throat cut off his air-supply.

'Ok,' was Harry's soft-spoken answer and he got off to get the lube. Draco repositioned himself among the pillows and watched Harry's every movement. 'Close the curtains or just lock the door?'

'The curtains, I think, but lock the door as well.' Harry nodded and did just that. Inside the curtains Harry nudged Draco's legs open and the blond complied. Harry knelt between them. He lit his wand before spelling it to hover above them, making their skin glow in the magical light.

'Draco-'

'No more talk,' the Slytherin interrupted. He didn't think he could handle those intense eyes for much longer. He wanted them closed in ecstasy before his new conscience made another appearance. 'Just fuck me. Hard.' No tender love tonight. He couldn't take that. Harry nodded and went to prepare him. The slicked fingers felt wonderful inside him, despite the discomfort at their prolonged absence. He needed the discomfort. 'Do it now,' he moaned, all too soon, but he didn't care. Harry paused for a moment, but Draco grabbed his wrist and pulled the boy on top of him, spreading his legs further. 'Now,' he panted.

Harry knew he must be hurting Draco as he pushed inside, but the blond seemed intent on it being a rough and tumble affair. Harry had wanted to worship Draco's body for hours, but he couldn't say no to Draco, he doubted there were many who could. Sheathing himself he paused again to let Draco adjust, and once again Draco urged him onwards. Harry started a slow rocking pace, but Draco would have none of it.

'Faster, harder.'

'I don't want to hurt you.'

'I'm not going to break, just do it!' Harry let his desire take hold of him and thrust harder. Draco cried out in what Harry hoped was ecstasy.

'Merlin,' Harry panted as he thrust. Draco leaned up and Harry met him halfway in a bruising kiss. Harry moaned as he felt Draco pinch a nipple. He didn't think there was anything on earth that felt this good. When they parted Harry pounded hard till he lost himself in Draco, while his partner lost himself with a bite to Harry's earlobe. Draco loved feeling Harry's full weight on him, covering him, a wall against the world. He also loved the complete blankness of his mind in that moment. It was bliss. There was nothing that needed thinking about right now.

'I should probably get up', Draco thought as Harry pulled out of him and once again collapsed beside him, his head buried in the pillow. Draco didn't want to start thinking more now though. It had been too good to just shut off his brain for a moment and just take what he longed for. It had been like finally taking that first breath after being too long under water for comfort. He couldn't help it, he decided, he would always be selfish. He sighed.

'You ok?' Harry asked when he heard Draco sigh. Was it a good sigh or a tired, thank Merlin that's over sigh?

'I'm fine,' Draco answered softly. Harry nodded and pulled his wand from the air, whispering 'Nox.' He flicked it in the direction of the door and heard the lock click open. In the darkness he placed his wand under the pillow and very carefully snuggled up to Draco, unsure of his welcome. Draco opened his arms to him and Harry let out his own sigh of relief as he draped his arm across Draco's chest.

'I should go,' Draco whispered, afraid he would break whatever spell seemed to be on him if he spoke louder. He felt as if nothing could touch him here in Harry's bed. Not even Voldermort.

'Don't- not yet anyway. It's still so early. Can't we just… keep this for a little while longer? You can leave before they start coming back.' Draco nodded in the dark and Harry felt the movement.

'We can't fall asleep,' Draco said, sounding all at once very tired and sleepy.

'We won't. Just… rest. For a while,' Harry said, yawning at the last word. Draco nodded again and closed his eyes, willing away the nagging doubt in the back of his mind.

Ten minutes later and both boys were sleeping more peacefully than they had in months.


	4. Chapter 4

Note: Sorry for the long wait, I completely forgot so feel free to yell at me in the comments. I'll post lots of chapters to make up for it!

-:-

As Draco slowly came back to consciousness he tightened his grip around the warm body half covering him. It was familiar and safe. In his mind he was back in fifth year, before the incident at the Ministry. They had just taken a little nap together. Slowly he began to remember, but even as he pictured Harry in his green robes and black mask he didn't really understand what it meant, at first. Suddenly it became clear as day and his eyes snapped open. There was light, but it was definitely very early. He looked down at the still sleeping form of his lover. His lover. His ex-boyfriend. Fuck, what had he done?

"Mmm, Draco," Harry murmured in his sleep, snuggling closer and Draco sucked in a breath. This was wrong. Selfish prick! All he had accomplished was to hurt Harry even more. He gently freed himself, moving slowly. He peaked through the opening in the curtains and listened to the sound of snoring from the other beds. All the beds looked like they were still occupied, except for Ron's. Draco slipped from the bed and put on his clothes as quickly as he could without making too much noise, grateful that Harry was sleeping heavily for once. He put on his mask as well and headed out the door without looking back.

Creeping down the stairs he thought he heard someone talking. As he reached the bottom of the stairs he saw Ron standing at the bottom of the girls' stairs, gazing up them dreamily. Damn. Draco decided to make a go of it and quickly stepped into the common room. He had only taken three strides when Ron turned and narrowed his eyes at him. For a dreadful moment Draco thought he was going to be hexed into oblivion. Then:

'Who are you?' The mask! Draco almost sagged in relief right there, but managed to keep still. He didn't say anything for a long moment, wondering if the charm would hide his voice from recognition as well. In the end he had to risk it.

'Nobody, just-… I'll be going now,' he said, making his voice deliberately high-pitched, hoping this would help the enchantment out a little. Ron's eyes narrowed further.

'You… you were dancing with a boy last night… a Gryffindor?' Ron stated, turning it into a question, eyes widening as he remembered. 'Who are you? Who were you with?' he demanded.

'None of your business. Good day to you,' Draco said, turning away and walking quickly towards the portrait. Ron, thankfully, didn't stop him and he broke into a sprint the second he was outside. He ran down to the dungeons, taking every secret passageway he knew along the way. He said the password and looked behind him once more before entering the Slytherin common room. He was so caught up in his thoughts he didn't notice anyone as he crossed the room until:

'Hey, who are you?' came Pansy's voice from the couch. Draco turned and furrowed his brows in confusion. The girl was sitting snuggled up with Blaise on the couch. Draco rolled his eyes.

'It's me, Pansy. You'd think we were good enough friends that you would recognise me,' he said grumpily as he ripped off his mask and glared at the pair. They both looked a little sheepish.

'Well, you were all the way across the room,' she said defensively. Blaise nodded his agreement. Draco snorted, though he knew he hadn't seen her yesterday either, even in the pink dress, which she was still wearing. Draco suddenly had the urge to find out what time it was, but Blaise cut off the thought.

'So, where've you been?' he said, smirking. Pansy immediately looked very interested.

'Nowhere,' Draco denied, cursing his suddenly boyish sounding voice. The pair in the couch were wearing matching wide smirks. Draco tried to glare at them, but it didn't seem to be working.

'Come on, Drakie, tell me,' Pansy whined. Did she really think that nickname would help her? Draco snorted inwardly, but kept his glare up.

'It's none of your business,' he declared, and with that turned on his heel and went to bed. He tried shutting off his brain, but it wasn't cooperating so easily without the warmth beside him to distract him.

XXX

Harry awoke slowly, his hand groping next to him looking for a body he was sure had been there a moment ago. His eyes opened when he didn't find anything except a pillow. Pulling the curtains apart he frowned at his own clothes strewn haphazardly about. No sign of Draco's at all. Well, perhaps that was a good thing; he tried vainly to convince himself. What else had he expected? Besides his room-mates wouldn't appreciate the shock of finding Harry Potter with Draco Malfoy in his bed. Getting up, he grabbed a pair of boxers from his already opened trunk and put them on before gathering his clothes from last night. Just as he had them all in hand the door opened and Ron came in, still in his robes from last night. He opened his mouth when he saw Harry, but was interrupted by a loud snore from one of the beds. He glanced around the room once before coming towards Harry, eyeing the clothes almost warily.

'Just get up, Harry?' he asked softly so as not to wake anyone, but there was a hint of something else in his voice.

'Yeah. You just get in?' he asked, raising an eyebrow. Ron blushed, but managed to keep his face neutral.

'So… have a good time last night?' Ok, now Harry knew there was something wrong. His eyes widened before he could stop them when he realised Ron could have met Draco on his way out. Shit! Then again, surely the redhead would have taken Harry's head off by now. The damage was already done, however. 'I knew it!' Ron exclaimed in a whisper.

'Knew what, exactly?' Harry asked warily.

'Knew that whoever that guy was he was with you.' Harry inwardly sagged in relief. The mask, of course, thank Merlin's lucky star. Another part of Harry was slightly offended.

'Why did it have to be me?' Ron just shrugged.

'I remember you two on the dance floor, though I didn't know it was you at the time. You were the short one though, now that I think about it.' Once more Harry cursed his height. He wasn't that short! Everybody else was simply tall!

'So, you don't care?' At Ron's blank stare Harry added: 'About me being gay?'

'Oh… well, I am pretty mad at you for not telling me… but Charlie's gay so I've learned to be all accepting and stuff.' Harry had a feeling Ron was parroting his mother a little. 'Why didn't you tell us?'

'Eh, there was never really a good moment.' Indeed, Harry didn't think this was a good moment either, standing in a pair of boxers clutching his dress-robes. Ron seemed to realise this as well.

'Oh, well… we should get dressed… but we're having a long talk after,' Ron warned, sounding very Percy-ish. Harry nodded, wanting to talk about Ron's night as well. Harry quickly put his robes away and got out normal clothes and toiletries. He left for the showers and stood a long time under the hot spray, thinking about Draco. He had really messed up this time. He had been weak, selfish even, but what was so bad about it if they both wanted it? There was the prophecy to think of, but Harry had gotten more confident about defeating Voldermort after Dumbledore had started showing him pensive memories and explained a few things. He would defeat the bastard and then he and Draco could be together. He once again considered the possibility that Draco had become a Death Eater, but it made no sense because if that were true, surely Draco would continue dating Harry to get information? No, the Slytherin was no Death Eater, Harry was sure of it. And that meant that there really was nothing in their way… well, everything was still in their way, but they could get through it. With renewed determination Harry left the shower and dressed. He told Ron he would meet him in the common room.

XXX

'So, tell me everything,' Ron said when they were seated opposite each other in front of the common room fireplace. Harry sighed and shook his head.

'Sorry, Ron, but I can't tell you everything.'

'Why not? Tell me who it was at least!' Again Harry shook his head.

'I can't tell you… not without his permission. It's… complicated.' Ron snorted, and looked like he wanted to argue. Harry cut him off before he could. 'His father wouldn't approve and we have to keep it secret. From everybody.' Ron raised his eyebrows at this.

'So… you… have a boyfriend? It wasn't just a one-time thing?' Harry hesitated before answering. He wanted to get back together with Draco, but was unsure if he should let Ron believe he had a boyfriend. What if Ron and Hermione started watching him more closely so they could figure out who it was? Then again he had managed to keep his relationship with Draco secret for two years before this so what was the big deal?

'Yes, but please don't tell anyone but Hermione and don't ask me who it is.' Ron eyed him sceptically for a moment, but in the end agreed and gave Harry a small smile to show everything was ok between them. Harry excused himself, feeling a sudden urge to make his current lie about having a boyfriend a reality, and at this Ron again looked like he wanted to comment, but remained silent when Harry gave him a pointed look. Harry left the common room and hurried up to his room first to get the map. He then left the Gryffindor Tower and wandered a bit down the corridors, grateful he didn't have classes that day, and started checking the map for signs of Draco.

XXX

After waking up for the second time Draco had washed and dressed in casual, though fashionable and expensive, clothes and gone outside in the chilly November air. He pulled his cloak tightly around him and was glad he had managed to avoid his housemates. He still couldn't think of anything besides Harry. Harry's smell, Harry's eyes, Harry's touch and Harry's voice. It was all too much. How could he possibly face the Gryffindor after last night? He felt as if there was a gaping hole in his stomach. It started to drizzle slightly and Draco grumbled to himself. The cold morning matched his mood. Maybe he should go to the Room of Requirement and work on his "mission". That would surely take his mind off Harry, but then again it would force him to think on things he wanted to think of even less than Harry. He cursed his misfortune and himself, for he realised he was to blame. He was always weak. His father had told him enough times. He picked up a rock and threw it into the water, not really trying to skip it, but still managing to be angry when he failed to.

'Draco.' The blond whipped around and stared as Harry came running up to him, not nearly dressed enough in this kind of weather, Draco noted. He just had his school robes over way too large muggle clothing. Draco snorted inwardly. It was just typical of Harry. The Gryffindor had always refused to let Draco get some proper clothes for him, saying people would become suspicious. Now Draco couldn't help picturing Harry in his beautiful green robes and black mask. Still he kept his expression blank and looked hard at Harry who came to stand in front of him, breathing a little heavily.

'Potter,' he said evenly, not revealing his mood or the way his heart was beating faster. Harry looked hurt for a moment, but seemed to ignore it quickly. Draco was really confused. What could Harry possibly have to say to him? Thanks for last night? Great fuck? What the hell do you think you're doing to me? I hate you? I still love you? Draco couldn't decide which of those he wanted to hear.

'Draco,' Harry repeated, emphasising the name with a slight glare. 'Do you honestly expect me to just pretend nothing happened? Again?' Draco opened his mouth to say something, but Harry cut his argument off. 'We need to get back together,' he said in a rush. Draco raised an eyebrow.

'We? Need? We don't need anything. I don't-' He couldn't say it. Because it was so far from the truth and Draco was never good at lying about things he wanted, and especially not about things he needed. He usually demanded things he needed. He took them without question. But not Harry. No, it would be too horrible even for Draco to do that. Their life would be-

'I won't take no for an answer, Draco. We need this. I still love you. And you love me.'

'Do not presume to tell me what I feel, Potter,' Draco retorted hotly, always one to get angry when people told him how to act or feel. Harry didn't seem affected in the least. He knew Draco too well.

'Draco,' he said and stepped closer, cupping the pale face with his very cold hands. Draco didn't step away. He was trapped by those eyes again, wishing himself to be stronger, yet knowing deep down it was a losing battle. Harry was the strong one, the Gryffindor. He was a selfish, spoiled Slytherin. You do the math.

'We can't,' Draco tried desperately one last time. Harry smiled almost sadly.

'Yes we can. We just continue like we did before. Keep the war out of it. When we're together nothing else exists. Now, I'm going to kiss you and you're going to meet me like we always do, before I get a cold.' He didn't wait for Draco to reply, but captured his lips with his own. The kiss was chaste and sweet and neither cared if someone spotted them in that moment. Then reality came back and they pulled apart. 'See you around, Draco,' Harry whispered before turning around and walking briskly away. Draco stood staring after him. He knew his hair was getting damp and that it probably looked awful, but still he didn't move. What had he gotten himself into now? Still, he couldn't help but feel more elated than he had been in a very, very long time.

XXX

Snape's eyes scanned the Great Hall, as they were wont to do every morning. He observed Draco Malfoy coming in and taking his usual seat. He still looked drawn and more tired than previous years, but there was definitely something different than the last months. Draco looked more nervous than depressed, though he still hid every emotion well, but not well enough for Snape. The Head of Slytherin took in the Gryffindor table and the Golden Boy. Again the difference was noticeable, perhaps even the ignorant friends of the Potter boy would notice. The Gryffindor wasn't nervous, but seemed happier. He even seemed genuinely interested in the conversations going on around him. Occasionally the Boy Who Lived would steal a glance over at the Slytherin table. Honestly, Snape thought, it was a wonder the pair weren't voted school's Most Obvious Couple.

The couple had most certainly gotten together again, Snape concluded, but why? Had Draco actually been dumped at the beginning of term and then managed to get Potter back perhaps? That would mean Draco was only with the Golden Boy so he could gather information. It was unlikely, however, because Draco's depression had seemed to go deeper than that. No, Snape was sure the boys had, despite his horror at admitting it, real feelings for each other. The question was: Would Draco be affected when it came to his mission? Would he tell Harry? Perhaps even ask for help? Strangely enough, Snape hoped he would.

XXX

'Draco.'

'Harry.'

Breathy whispers in the dark. Oh, how he had missed this! He couldn't stop thinking that every time, so much time wasted. He loved every second of it: The fire and sweat, his bare arse against a transfigured rug in the slightly cold room. Harry devouring every part of him, his very soul screaming out for release and Harry so devotedly giving it to him. Then, after Harry had worshipped his body like it should be, and they had lain together catching their breaths and calming their hearts for a long moment that felt like a few seconds, Draco would roll over and start his own game. A game he liked almost as much as the other.

'On your stomach,' he growled, feeling the fire building again. And Harry turned, just like before, only it seemed even more perfect now, more fragile. Waving his hand over his head at the wands suspended there, he made them slowly turn in a circle. Their light caused Harry's skin to shimmer. Draco felt as if he lost more control this time than the last, but Harry didn't seem to mind.

They never said much once they had started. Words always seemed so inadequate to Draco to describe the feelings. They couldn't help the moans and grunts escape their mouths, however, and they were far from quiet. The sounds seemed loud in the stone room, their room. Again the quiet settled over them, this time for much longer.

'Where do you go?' came the sudden voice in the silence and turned Draco' sated body to cold stone. His immediate thought was to play dumb. The question was very vague, but Draco knew they both understood what Harry was asking. Still, what else could he possibly say? Harry still had his head resting on his folded arms, and Draco thanked Merlin he didn't have to lie into those eyes.

'When?' he asked, knowing he was only delaying the first of many lies.

'You disappear sometimes, after classes. I thought… I thought you looked so tired before because of us, but you still look like something's bothering you… like you have a lot more on your mind.'

'There is a lot on my mind,' Draco answered vaguely, but truthfully. 'My father, for one. The family lawyer is still trying to get him out, you know.' He saw Harry move, presumably nodding into his arms. 'As for disappearing…' Here it comes. Lie like a Malfoy. 'I sometimes need to get away from my house. The Malfoy name isn't what it used to be in Slytherin. That, combined with the incessant snogfest between Pansy and Blaise… well, I need peace and quiet.'

'Oh,' was the only sound Harry made. 'Fuck you, Harry Potter,' Draco thought savagely. How dare you! That one sound ripped through Draco's heart. He knew that the lie was pathetic, not to mention rather poorly executed. But he couldn't do anything about it. He knew this was coming. Take it like a Malfoy and live the lie. 'Forget I asked,' Harry said after a moment. 'Just…' he lifted his head and leaned on his elbows over Draco, locking their gazes. 'You can always come to me, you know? For anything.' Fuck! Typical, insufferable, goody Gryffindor bastard! He kept the curses in.

'I don't need a shoulder to cry on, Potter. I need a good fuck and nothing else!' Oh, that was so much better. Draco closed his eyes as the hurt from Harry's eyes chilled him. Why did Harry always bring the best and worst out in him, almost at the same time?

'Fine, Malfoy. You got your fuck, so I guess you don't need me anymore tonight.' Draco lay still as he felt Harry get up. He listened as the Gryffindor pulled on his clothes. Then things stilled for a moment. 'The rug's my cloak,' came a strained voice. Draco opened his eyes and looked up at Harry. He lay there, naked and feeling very exposed. For a moment Draco wished Harry would confess he knew everything and was going to help Draco whether he wanted it or not.

'Don't,' he whispered instead. 'Just… don't.' He closed his eyes, feeling tired.

'Don't what?' Harry's voice was sharp, but with a hint of doubt and confusion.

'Don't ask me things you know I have to lie about!' Draco spat, snapping his eyes open and glaring. 'Let's keep the games for the rest of the school, shall we?' he asked sarcastically as he got up and began putting his clothes on, his back turned to Harry.

'Why can't you just tell me? Maybe I could-'

'Don't even say it, Potter.'

'Is it… bad?' Draco knew this was as close Harry was going to come to asking Draco if he was a Death Eater. He was glad he didn't ask straight out again. Was he? He honestly wasn't sure anymore. He was working on ways to kill Dumbledore for Voldermort… but he was protecting his family. He sighed.

'Nothing I can't handle,' he said in the end, hoping it was true. He felt Harry relax behind him, though not completely. They shared a slightly awkward kiss before leaving, promising to meet next week as usual. Draco didn't sleep at all that night.

-:-

[So everything's not perfect. How will things progress? Comments?]


	5. Chapter 5

I'm a horrible person. Please feel free to yell in comments. Anyhow, here's another chapter to appease you, with fluff!

_Chapter 5: Christmas Apart _

Harry sighed as he stared out the window of the train. He wondered where Malfoy was. Whether he was wishing he could snuggle up with Harry one last time before Christmas. They had exchanged gifts, or rather, Harry had given Draco a gift, to which Draco had sneered at and then pretended to reluctantly give a small box in return, giving a hasty excuse and practically running from the room. Harry hadn't opened it. They had exchanged gifts before of course, in the past. Usually it was just some joke thing, or something about Quiddith or school. Nothing remotely personal, but the little box rapped securely in one of Dursley's large socks had Harry's fingers itching.

"This Christmas'll be great, Harry," Ron said for the millionth time since the start of December. Harry didn't understand Ron or Hermione right now. Their Halloween night had obviously been special, but neither had said a word about it or mentioned Harry's secret boyfriend once. It was very unusual, to say the least, for the pair not to pry into every aspect of Harry's life. But Harry wasn't one to look a gift hippogriff in the mouth. Harry's mood strangely enough hadn't improved as much as he would have thought once he had gotten back together with Draco. There was so much unsaid between them, so many secrets. Harry didn't know how to deal with any of it.

"Yeah, sure," Harry said at last when he noticed Ron open his mouth to repeat himself. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the pair exchange glances. So much for peace about his love-life.

"Is it… boyfriend trouble?" Hermione asked tentatively. Harry almost snorted. It wasn't exactly that was it? They were great together as long as nothing remotely linked to reality came between them. He didn't say that, but instead he sighed and looked at them with a sad smile.

"Something like that," he said.

"Well, Harry, you can always talk to us. Maybe if you explained the situation we could help?" She offered. Harry had to hand it to them, they were great friends.

"I'm not really sure if I understand the situation myself," he said, looking pensively out the window.

"You're still together, though, right?" Ron asked, managing to look less uncomfortable that Harry would have thought possible. He really didn't mind. He was only concerned for his friend, Harry concluded, somewhat proudly.

"Yeah, we're still together. We're great together in fact." Hermione's brows furrowed in thought and Ron looked like he wanted to ask something, but couldn't quite get up the nerve. Harry looked at his friend curiously, raising an eyebrow, something he'd learned from Draco.

"Have you had sex yet?" Ron blurted out, blushing the second he had gotten it out.

"Ron!" Hermione exclaimed, blushing a little herself. Harry couldn't help it, he laughed.

"We're best mates! We're supposed to talk about this stuff!" Ron said defensively, still blushing as Harry calmed down. It had felt good to laugh. Hermione looked like she wasn't sure if she wanted to tell them to talk about it without her present or to just remain quiet and let Harry answer. Harry laughed again as he saw the battle inside her mirrored in her face. "Well?" Ron prompted, getting over his embarrassment by focusing on his curiosity. Harry grinned.

"We've been having sex since just before the end of fifth year," he stated.

"What!" Ron and Hermione exclaimed in unison.

"How long have you actually been together?" Hermione asked, a hint of accusation in her voice. Harry chose to ignore it. It felt wonderful to be able to talk about it with his friends, even if he never mentioned Draco by name.

"We got together at the start of fourth year," Harry said, smiling as the memory was instantly brought to mind. Ron and Hermione looked half shell-shocked, half furious, but seemed to realise how happy Harry was, something he hadn't really been in their company for a long time, and decided they couldn't be mad at him for not telling. Clearly he had wanted to.

"Wow, Harry, I think that's great. That you've made it this far, I mean. Not many young couples stay together that long," Hermione stated in her teacher's voice.

"Bloody hell, you lucky bastard," Ron said. He and Harry shared grins and laughed. Hermione rolled her eyes at them. Harry felt lighter than he would have thought possible. Just talking about Draco made the separation more tolerable, even if Ron and Hermione didn't have a clue who his boyfriend really was.

"Do you love each other?" Hermione asked, her voice softening. Harry smiled at her.

"Yes." Ron's eyebrows rose to his hairline. Hermione beamed.

"That's wonderful Harry," she said.

"But then… what's wrong?" Ron suddenly said, bringing them all back to the reason they were discussing Draco. Harry's face fell.

"The war," he said simply. A long silence fell over them as Ron and Hermione thought about what that could imply. "He's not… he's…" How much to say? He couldn't tell them which house Draco was in, that would be like signing his death warrant. Harry realised he would have to bend the truth slightly. "His family wouldn't approve of him dating a boy. And let's face it: I'm not just a boy. I'm Harry Bloody Potter and a relationship with me isn't going to be easy. We need to keep it secret. Both because of his family, and because I don't want him to become a target because of me." His friends nodded, understanding completely. Harry would kill himself if he put someone in danger because of his fame. Losing Sirius had been hard enough on him. "I trust you guys, but you're my friends, not his, so I have to respect that he doesn't want anybody to know." Again his friends nodded.

"And this is causing a strain on your relationship?" Hermione offered, trying to understand. Harry sighed, thinking hard.

"We… disagree on certain subjects," he finally said, wondering if that were true. He caught himself more and more doubting Draco's views. He had been so sure the Slytherin had gotten a clue about the whole blood issue, but they had never discussed it and now he was beginning to wonder. Hermione seemed to jump to the right conclusion… or the wrong one. Harry felt the need to ask Draco straight to find out.

"He's… a pureblood?" she asked. Harry looked at her. He didn't want to answer. It would give too much away.

"He's not supporting Voldermort," he assured her instead. Harry couldn't let himself believe Draco had followed his father. He wouldn't! But why all the disappearing? Fuck, Harry wasn't sure about anything anymore. Hermione nodded, visibly relieved. "Look, we disagree about a lot of things, but mainly we just keep the war issue out of the relationship and that's what's cause the… 'strain'. The fact that we don't talk about it. It's like… ignoring the world's largest elephant in your sitting room… it gets awkward."

"Well, I hope you work it out," Hermione said. Harry thanked her and tried steering the conversation to other subjects. Ron and Hermione followed willingly.

XXX

Draco sat in his room, staring out over the Malfoy grounds, wishing himself somewhere he never in his short life would have thought possible before he had Harry: The Burrow. He couldn't help but wonder what Harry was doing right now. Probably laughing with Ron and the redheaded army. All of them snug in that shack of a house. Draco hadn't ever seen the Weasley home, but he could imagine it, though even the picture in his head didn't come close. Would Harry be thinking about him at all? Would he like the present? Had Draco suddenly turned into some lovesick girl? Or worse, a Gryffindor! Shaking himself sternly he got up and decided to take a walk outside in the snow.

Walking across the snow-covered ground always seemed to calm Draco. The vast whiteness made it easier to keep a blank mind. His thoughts, however, wouldn't keep quiet this time. He left Harry at the Burrow and turned his thoughts to his situation. He wasn't any closer to a solution. The only progress he had made was concerning his mission, which technically wasn't a good thing. He was procrastinating, and he knew it. He was distracting himself with Harry and ignoring the fact that if he didn't figure something out soon he would have to either kill Dumbledore for real or let his family perish. Both options seemed impossible.

Once again his thoughts strayed to Harry, but this time he was thinking about confessing. No, he shook his head. If word somehow got back to Snape he and his parents would be dead before he finished telling everything. No, he could not rely on the Gryffindor for this, no matter how helpless he sometimes felt. Merlin, sometimes he felt like just breaking down and crying on Harry's shoulder. But weakness would not help him, or his parents.

"Draco?" The blond spun around and saw his mother approaching. She looked worried. Her expression had hardly changed since Lucius went to Azkaban. Draco hated that face. It reminded him too much of the face she made of mild disappointment when Lucius reprimanded him for not being good enough at something.

"Yes, Mother?" he said calmly, nodding in greeting.

"How are you?" Narcissa enquired. Draco frowned at the question. He knew his mother never asked something like that unless she knew something was bothering him.

"I am fine, Mother," he said politely. "Should we go inside?" he said, gesturing towards the house. He started walking before she could answer. How much did she know? Draco was sure none of the other Death Eaters knew of his mission. Voldermort kept nearly everything secret. In fear of traitors no doubt. The Dark Lord only told his followers what they needed to know, and never a moment too soon. They fell into step beside each other and Draco felt the tension.

"Are you alright, Mother?" he asked. He glanced at her when she didn't answer immediately.

"Yes, Draco, but I worry about you." Draco frowned, but turned his gaze away from her so she wouldn't see. They entered the house and Draco was about to excuse himself to his room when she suddenly places her hands on his shoulders. "He will be out soon, Draco," she said almost in a whisper and then she left hurriedly. Draco stood for a while, feeling both relieved and apprehensive. So she didn't know. She only thought he was upset about Lucius, which he was he supposed. But did she know something more about it? He pondered what she had said as he walked up to his room. Did she mean she knew when his father would be out? Had the Dark Lord said something? Draco had told himself he couldn't wait for his father to get out of that horrible place, but now he found himself strangely… terrified at the prospect.

XXX

Harry was making his way to Potions on the first day back after Christmas. He had seen Draco at breakfast and their eyes had met. It had been almost like before, when they used to exchange secret glances all the time. That, along with his very good Christmas, was enough to make Harry feel better than he had expected. And now he was back at Hogwarts, his whole body almost bouncing in excitement at seeing Draco in private. Ron and Hermione seemed to notice and exchanged knowing glances.

Just as he was making his way down the stairs Harry felt someone knock into his shoulder hard as they brushed passed. He looked up and saw Draco turning around, the familiar glare in place.

"Watch where you're going, Potter," he spat and turned back without waiting for a reply. At first Harry was puzzled. It had been so long since they had acted like rivals in public, but he soon realised Draco was just trying to get everything back to normal, including their image.

"Git," Harry muttered darkly to Ron. "Let's just ignore him. Bad enough with Snape today." Ron glared at the back of Draco's blond head, but nodded his agreement. Hermione didn't say or do anything.

Harry entered the classroom and sat down at his usual seat in the back. He bent down and reached into his bag for his supplies, only to find a small roll of parchment he didn't remember bringing. He picked it up along with the rest of his stuff. Snape declared, to Harry and Ron's great relief, that they would only be taking notes that day. Harry curiously unfolded the parchment and saw it was blank. Perhaps he had simply forgotten about it? He was about to stuff it back in his bag because it was too small to take notes on, especially in Snape's class, when writing started to appear on it, much reminiscent of Tom Riddle's diary in second year. For a moment Harry was afraid it was something dark like the diary, but then he registered what was actually being written.

'_Did you miss me?"_ Harry had never seen anything Draco had written, but he was sure the elegant script was that of his boyfriend. He quickly glanced around and noted his friends were busy taking notes already. He hadn't even heard Snape start his lecture. He snuck a glance at the Slytherins, but Draco was focused on Snape, his quill scribbling diligently. Harry took his own quill and wrote underneath where Draco's writing had appeared.

'_Of course.'_ Harry paused a moment. The writing didn't disappear, but seemed to glow for a second, indicating Draco could no doubt read it on his parchment. Harry got a wicked idea and continued writing. _'I want to thank you for your present, but I don't think I'll be able to do it here.'_ He smirked when he saw Draco's head tilt down to read the parchment and the almost imperceptible intake of breath.

'_What would you do if you could thank me right now?'_ Merlin, did Draco really want Harry to write that in the middle of Potions? No, Harry couldn't possibly do that. It was too weird. Then again he had started it. He tried to change the subject, not wanting to associate anything sexual with Snape's class.

'_Did you miss me?'_ Harry wondered if Draco would even answer that question, and was a little surprised when he did.

'_Yes, a lot. I couldn't stop thinking of you. I even dreamt of you.'_ For a moment Harry thought it couldn't possibly be Draco writing. The blond rarely said anything affectionate when they were alone, but maybe writing it was easier than saying it? The Slytherin had his back turned to Harry so maybe that was what made him bold?

'_I dreamt of you too,'_ Harry wrote, not mentioning that it had been a nightmare where Draco had been killed.

'_I can't wait to be alone with you…'_ There was a long pause. Harry waited for Draco to finish his sentence. _'I love you.'_ Harry couldn't help a soft gasp escape him. Draco had said it before, though certainly not often, but there was something utterly amazing about having it in writing. Gods, he felt sappy, but he couldn't help it.

'_I love you more,'_ he wrote, hoping Draco would rise to the bait and argue, which of course he did.

'_Not possible, Potter.'_ By now Harry was wearing a very stupid grin on his face. He couldn't seem to stop smiling, luckily Snape was demonstrating something very important and didn't even bother looking in Harry's direction, which was actually a bit odd, but Harry couldn't think about that right then.

"Harry?" Hermione's voice startled him more than it should and he actually made her jump a bit from his reaction. "Are you ok?" she whispered. Harry stared at her, mind completely blank for a moment.

'_I'll show you just how much I love you tonight,'_ Draco's words appearing on the parchment made Hermione glance down and her eyes went wide. Before Harry even had time to shield it from her view her eyes had scanned the entire parchment. He cursed her for being such a quick study.

"Oh, Harry. That's so sweet, but be careful," she whispered, her eyes darting to Snape. Harry blushed and didn't comment. By now Ron was taking an interest, and Harry for some reason didn't want his best mate to see such sappy notes. He folded it away before Ron could look it over. He frowned but Harry pretended he didn't notice and started scribbling Potions notes instead.

XXX

Harry didn't catch Draco's eye after class. He sat down a little disappointed in Transfiguration. He couldn't help but take out the parchment and opened it. He was dismayed when he saw everything was as before except for one word that had obviously been added after he had put it away.

'_Harry?'_ Draco was probably sulking because Harry hadn't answered him. Harry took out his quill and started writing just as the rest of the class started taking notes.

'_Draco?'_ He didn't even know if it would work over long distances. _'Sorry, Ron and Hermione were getting suspicious.'_ After a long moment when nothing new appeared Harry almost lost hope. Then:

'_I hate you, Potter.'_ Harry frowned, unsure how to interpret the comment. The 'Potter' at the end probably meant Draco wasn't as mad as he could be.

'_Well, I love you.'_ Harry wrote defiantly, hoping he wasn't making a fool out of himself.

'_This was supposed to be fun and you go and turn it into some sappy love note.'_ Harry resisted the urge to snort.

'_I didn't want to have sexual fantasies in the same room as Snape!'_ Harry retorted, hoping the frantic writing conveyed how disgusted he was with that thought.

'_How about with McGonagall in the room?'_ Harry almost choked on his own spit, but instead managed to write.

'_How do you know my schedule?' _

'_Don't you know what I have now?' _

'_No,'_ Harry answered honestly.

'_Can't remember more than one timetable at a time, Potter?' _

'_You're not exactly convincing me to write sordid things to you in class with that attitude, Malfoy.'_ Harry smirked when the reply wasn't immediately forthcoming.

'_I wish I had your cloak so I could sneak in and suck your cock under the table right now.'_ Harry's stomach flopped and he gaped at the parchment, which was by now almost filled with writing. Instead of answering Harry wrote.

'_What do we do when this parchment is full? How does this thing work?' _

'_I'll teach you to wipe it clean tonight. It can work over pretty long distances and I thought it would be nice to have during the holidays. Unfortunately I didn't find it in Diagon Alley until the last day of Christmas Break. We obviously can't use it in class since you are a prude and since we'll probably not learn a thing if we do. I'll see you tonight. You had better make it up to me!'_ And with that Draco's part of the conversation disappeared, indicating Draco had wiped his parchment clean. Harry put it away, not sure if he should feel excited about tonight, happy about the parchment, or insulted that Draco thought he was a prude. He just didn't want to get a hard on in front of his Head of House, thank you very much!

-:-

[Oh, our boys. Everybody needs a little fluff now and then. Comments?]


	6. Chapter 6

**Note**: Now that The Price of Family is finally done, and a very nice reviewer started reading this, I felt compelled to finish it quickly so expect more regurlar updates and if they're not quick enough: nag me! I promise it helps cause I forget to do stuff so easily.

I have decided to combine a few of the original chapters to make them longer and more interesting. Also because I've cut a lot of the graphic sex. Not being a hormonal teenager anymore, I don't feel those scenes add to the story. Also, I can't write sex to save my life, in my opinion.

**AN**: Just a reminder! Snape did not take the vow and although I follow the events of HBP I do not always go at the same pace. All of the meetings with Dumbledore don't happen at the same time as in the book, for example.

_Chapter 6: Doubt and Hesitation_

Draco was nervous and not a little annoyed. In fact he was downright frustrated. Where the fuck was Harry? He was over half an hour late. Draco had tried the parchment, but hadn't gotten an answer. He was pacing and his hands were fists by his sides. He wanted to punch the wall, but his anger was slowly giving way to worry. Why wasn't Harry coming? Just as Draco came to the decision to go look for the Gryffindor, the door opened and Harry came in, looking both guilty and tired. He cast the locking and silencing charms automatically. Draco wanted to scream at him, but the pleading in the green eyes made him keep his voice low, waiting for a very good explanation.

"Why were you late?"

"I had to meet with Dumbledore. I didn't have time to get a message to you."

"You could have used the parchment. That's what it's for," Draco ground out, though in reality he was forgiving Harry already. Even Draco wouldn't be late if the Headmaster summoned him, even if he hated the old coot. Harry blinked and looked sheepish.

"Oh, I forgot… sorry." Draco rolled his eyes.

"Just give me the parchment and I'll teach you how to use it properly." Harry dug into his bag and handed it over. Draco had already transfigured a plush green rug and now they sat close to each other on it while Draco explained the spell to wipe it clean and to make sure only Harry could write on it.

Harry thought Draco's teacher voice sounded eerily like Hermione's, but didn't dare comment on it. He snuggled up closer and made appropriate noises to show he understood. In reality he wanted to rip the parchment from Draco and toss it aside so he could ravish the blond immediately. The meeting with Dumbledore had given him a lot of new information to think about, but his mind always seemed to shut down once he was alone with Draco. When the Slytherin was finished explaining he looked over at Harry and smirked like he was reading Harry's thoughts. He quickly put their bags and parchments aside.

"So…" Suddenly Draco was nervous. He wanted to ask about Harry's Christmas, but knew that would lead to questions about the present. Harry hadn't said anything about it yet except that he wanted to thank Draco. Surely that meant he liked it? Harry leaned forwards suddenly and kissed Draco softly, one hand coming up to cup the blonde's cheek. When they separated they rested their foreheads together. Slowly Harry drew away and his hands went up to his collar. Draco held his breath as Harry pulled out a silver chain. On the end was a small dragon figurine, with green eyes made of emerald. It was small, but very detailed. The dragon seemed to be rearing up and you could see a small stone on it's chest, a real diamond, right over where its heart would be. It was sappy and cliché, but Draco had wanted Harry to wear it, even if he had to keep it secret.

"It's beautiful," Harry said, taking the dragon in his hand and studying it. "I'll wear it always." He leaned in and kissed Draco again. "Did you like your present?" Harry asked when they parted again. He put the dragon away.

"Yes I did, though I am a little unsure why you gave it to me."

"You seem to have a lot on your mind. The diary is the most protected one I could find. No one will be able to read it. I thought you might need it." Draco nodded in understanding, glad and touched Harry had thought of it. He had checked the spells on the leather-bound book himself and had been very impressed. He was also grateful that Harry was still trying to help him despite the fact that they couldn't talk about it, though he wasn't going to tell Harry that.

"I loved it. I've already started writing in it." Harry smiled. Draco's own smile turned mischievous.

"So, aren't you going to thank me properly?" he asked innocently, though his waggling eyebrows ruined the effect. Harry leaned in and ghosted his lips over Draco's, the movement was something that always made the blond shiver in anticipation.

Their lips mashed together before Draco could give another witty and snarky comment, but for once he didn't mind being interrupted. In fact, he had been looking forward to being silent with Harry all day- well, silent in terms of using actual words.

"How do you want it?" Harry asked between kissed. He was moving down Draco's throat and the blond was finding it difficult to answer.

Draco knew he must have suggested something quite obscene, but Harry didn't seem to mind. That was one of the few, and very best, thing they had in common. Perhaps it was their very reason for being together. Though the thoughtful gift Harry had given Draco spoke of something much more. At that moment, however, Draco berated himself for even thinking at all, and gave all his attention to obscenities Harry was soon shouting.

They knew each other well, and managed to drag things out until they were both quite exhausted.

"Thank you," Harry said when he found his voice again. He was always speechless right after. He heard Draco chuckle.

"For the present or the shag?" Harry chuckled as he rolled off.

"Both." Suddenly they heard the distinct sound of the locking charm being broken. Harry and Draco's eyes met for a silent moment in complete shock. Then Harry reacted first and pulled his robe out from under Draco's arms, throwing it over the blonde's head just as the door started swinging open. Harry scrambled for his trousers to shield himself with as a red head peaked in through the opening. He sat in front of Draco so his bare backside was shielded.

"RON!" Harry bellowed. The head disappeared just as quickly without a word. Harry checked to see if Draco's head had been completely covered. Luckily it had and Ron had only seen Draco's back and legs. Harry quickly got up and pulled his trousers on, not even bothering with pants. He grabbed his shirt and made sure he had his wand. Draco had been unnaturally still and had yet to even remove Harry's robe from his head.

"Wait here," Harry said. "I'll be right back." He ran out the door without even having finished buttoning up his shirt. He bolted from the room and set off towards the Gryffindor Tower. He wasn't even half way there when he caught up with Ron. The redhead turned guiltily towards Harry, not meeting the young man's eyes that were burning with anger.

"What were you thinking, Ron? I can't believe you! Did you follow me and then spend all that time just breaking through my locking spell?" Ron only nodded dumbly, still avoiding eye contact. "Well!" Harry demanded. Ron finally looked at him.

"I'm sorry, Harry! I just… I was curious! I didn't think! I never think! But I didn't see his face so I still don't know! Shit, I don't know what else to say," he finished miserably. "I'm just not used to you not telling me things and now I find out you've been keeping a secret like this for _two and a half years!_ It's like there's this whole part of you I know nothing about." Harry felt a stab of guilt in his stomach. He wondered how he would act if their roles were reversed. He sighed. _Damn, Ron's right_, he thought, _but he'll be in a worse state if he actually finds out!_

"Look, Ron, I _can't_ tell you, but I've wanted to since the moment we got together. Believe me, it's killing me too. At least now we can talk about it... just with no names mentioned?" he offered, turning it into a question.

"I guess," Ron mumbled.

"Promise me not to walk in on us having sex again, though," Harry said seriously, though he still smirked at Ron's reaction.

"Oh! Merlin, I'm sorry I did that!" he said as he made a disgusted face. "I swear to never walk in on you again!" Harry laughed.

"Good. I need to get back. I think he's in as much shock as you were." Ron nodded, still a little freaked out as he realised what the couple had been doing. Harry patted him on the shoulder and took off again back to the room. He hoped Draco was still there.

Harry opened the door, glad Draco hadn't spelt it locked again, and stepped cautiously inside. Draco had gotten dressed and was just transfiguring back his robe. Harry noticed the Slytherin didn't look up as he entered. That couldn't be good, right?

"He didn't see you so we're safe. I don't think he'll be pulling a stunt like that again," Harry said quietly. Draco huffed, but didn't look at Harry as he pulled on his robe.

"Why did he follow you in the first place?" Harry bit his lip. He hadn't actually told Draco what he had told Ron and Hermione.

"Because he was curious about who my boyfriend was," he all but whispered. Draco stopped short and looked at Harry with a hard stare.

"You told them?"

"Just that I had a boyfriend. I had to after Halloween when Ron caught you leaving. I made it clear that I couldn't tell them who it is though." Draco snorted and went to grab his bag.

"But he followed you anyway despite your orders. So much for your loyal friends," he said sarcastically. Harry immediately glared at him.

"I didn't _order_ them to do anything. I, unlike you, have friends instead of bodyguards." Draco winced at Harry words, but tried to hide it by glaring back at Harry, who was regretting his outburst already.

"Whatever, Potter, just don't expect me to live dangerously because I'm with a Gryffindor. Get a handle on your friends," Draco snapped and brushed past Harry roughly. Harry grabbed his robe and bag, stepped into his shoes and ran out after Draco. This was not the way their first meeting after Christmas was supposed to go!

"Draco, stop!" he shouted as he ran to catch out with Draco down the corridor. The Slytherin spun around and glared at Harry with such anger Harry hadn't seen since before they got together. It actually scared him.

"So, you can order me around, is that it?" he yelled. It was Harry's turn to wince this time. He hoped Ron was long gone. Harry was standing there: shit still unbuttoned half way, shoes undone, robe and bag in his hand and his hair much messier than usual. Combined with his guilty expression he looked pretty lost. Draco tried not to be affected by the sight. This wasn't about how good Harry looked totally debauched. This was about the fact that no matter what they did, no matter where they hid, reality would always find them. And even if, by some miracle, Draco got out of his task and managed to save his family, they _still_ couldn't be together openly because of who they were. Harry's friends would never accept him even if he did a hundred noble and self-sacrificing deeds - not that Draco was planning on doing any.

"Draco, that's not what I meant. I just don't want this night to end like this!" Harry pleaded. Draco shoved his forgiving feelings aside. He had always thought it exciting and Slytherin-like to sneak around with Harry. He had never cared about actually dealing with Harry's friends, but now… he realised could never have Harry, not really, not in the completely sappy, Gryffindor, together forever way. He had been kidding himself when he took up again with Harry. It was stupid and selfish and he had known from the beginning it would never work! There were too many secrets. Draco took a deep breath, trying to put his thoughts in order because they seemed to be going all over the place. One fact remained: Whatever they had together was doomed to failure, no matter what possible outcome. Draco looked at Harry with suddenly weary eyes.

"It's just as well, Harry. I don't think there'll be anymore nights like this."

"What? No! Don't you pull that shit on me again, Draco! Don't you _dare!_" Draco knew Harry would be angry, but was still a little shocked at how loud he was. He couldn't help but glance nervously around. It wasn't the best place for this conversation. Harry didn't seem to care, though. "Ron and Hermione will always be my friends, Draco. I can't change that! But I'm not going to let them dictate who I can be with! I know we'll have to tell them eventually, some day, but we'll meet that when it comes. I don't want to order _anyone_ around, but I am telling you to _stop this nonsense!_" Draco stared long at Harry, who was panting after his long outburst.

"Harry, I know you have all your Gryffindor ideals about how true love conquers all, but whatever we have can't last." Draco was feeling very torn. On the one hand he knew he should end this, but at the same time he hoped Harry would prove himself a Gryffindor and ignore Draco's argument. To his shared relief and frustration, Harry did and rolled his eyes.

"I don't know much about true love or soul mates, but I know I love you and that I want us to try for as long as we can." Harry hoped Draco wouldn't sneer at him for that comment. He wasn't sure how the Slytherin would react to such a declaration outside their room. Draco sighed again and Harry held his breath.

"Fine… for as long as we can." Harry smiled and came forwards. He leaned up just as Draco leaned down and they kissed long and sweet. Fuck, Draco was weak, but when faced with such sweet lips and hypnotizing green eyes, who could blame him?

XXX

Harry sighed as he lay in bed, absently wishing Draco could sneak in. He knew he had other things to think about, however, after his latest meeting with Dumbledore. He had already spent a long evening with Ron and Hermione discussing Horcruxes and it hadn't been very pleasant. He was both glad and terrified when it came to Voldermort's way to immortality. On the one hand it meant that Harry actually did have a way of defeating the bastard, but on the other the whole concept was extremely disturbing. For a brief moment his thoughts strayed to Draco again and he wondered what the Slytherin would think of it. He was a Slytherin who practically worshipped power. Voldermort had made himself more powerful than anyone.

No, Harry refused to let himself doubt his boyfriend. He had yet to ask Draco about his pureblood prejudices, but he just couldn't believe Draco still held all of his father's views on that… Then there was the secret. Draco was obviously hiding something. Was he feeling pressured to become a Death Eater? But why couldn't he talk to Harry about it? Then there was the fact that Draco regularly disappeared. Harry, again refusing to give in to his doubt, had not resorted to following him.

Grumbling and trying to find something productive to do, Harry dug around for a book to read. He had been down this road so many times he felt like he was repeating himself and not getting anywhere. He wanted the truth from Draco so badly, but couldn't handle it if Draco refused to answer… the lack of answer on their first night back after summer had been bad enough.

Harry once again buried his frustrations and suspicious, which were only growing day by day. He focused on Dumbledore and the things he had learned about Voldermort. The truth about Draco would have to wait.

XXX

Weeks passed and Draco and Harry continued to try and keep reality outside of their room. Harry couldn't find it in him to confront Draco about anything. It was just so easy to forget while in Draco's arms where not even Voldermort or Death Eaters could reach him. Ron never spoke about Harry's boyfriend again, seeming to prefer to simply pretend he didn't exist. Hermione was a little better and would sometimes ask how they were doing over breakfast. Harry suspected she made sure to observe where his gaze went in the Great Hall. Harry had to stop looking at Draco because of it.

They used the parchment at night when they didn't meet up. During the day Harry would sometimes check up on Draco simply because he could. He never told Ron about it in case the redhead changed his mind, and started looking over Harry's shoulder. Hermione knew, though, and would simply smile knowingly whenever Harry blushed in class, unable to get over that particular embarrassment.

His meetings with Dumbledore continued and he learned more about Voldermort than he had ever cared to know. He was living some sort of double-life. Real life on one side, and this bubble he sometimes shared with Draco. Reality, however, would pop the bubble in the end…

XXX

"Harry, we need to talk," Ron said suddenly, jerking Harry out of his thoughts. The Trio had been sitting in the Hospital Wing, though Ron was lying propped up in bed thanks to his near death experience in Slughorn's office. He would probably never drink again, or so he said. They had been silent for a long time and now Ron's tone made Harry nervous. Hermione exchanged a glance with her… boyfriend? Harry had yet to find out. There were too many things on his mind lately. Something was communicated between them and Harry grew even more suspicious.

"What is it?" he asked, glancing between them.

"You tell him, 'Mione," Ron said, nodding at her. She frowned.

"Perhaps now is not the right time," she said uncertainly, glancing at Harry. Now Harry was really confused.

"Time for what?"

"He needs to know," Ron insisted. "And you can convince him better than I can."

"I'm not even sure _I'm_ convinced." Ron rolled his eyes.

"Sure you are-"

"What are you two talking about!" Harry exclaimed, fed up with the cryptic conversation.

"We think Malfoy is up to something," Ron said flatly. "He's been sneaking off the Room of Requirement a lot."

"You've been following him?" Harry asked incredulously, but there was more anger in his voice than would have been natural had he not been pissed off over the fact that his friends had been spying on his boyfriend.

"Harry… who do you think poisoned the mead Ron drank?" Hermione asked very quietly, though the effect was no less on Harry. He gaped at her in shock while a tiny little voice inside his head whispered: _'I told you so.'_

"You cannot possibly- I mean, he's not- he's just a _student._"

"He's the best at potions besides Hermione. And _you're_ just a student, but you manage some pretty interesting extra curricular activity," Ron said, trying to make light of the situation, even though he had been the one who nearly died. Harry was shaking his head by the time he'd finished.

"I just don't think it's probable. He's not capable of it. He's… all talk and no action." Hermione was gazing at him with a piercing stare. Harry tired to avoid squirming in his seat.

"He's been awfully quiet towards you all year. And we know he must be blaming you for his father. He must be at least planning something," she said in a reasonable tone as if speaking to a five-year-old.

"He wants to be a Death Eater. He probably is one already," Ron all but snarled. Harry abruptly stood.

"I…" What could he possibly say that would get them off Draco's back? His own doubts were suddenly very loud inside his head. He almost felt dizzy. "You're right… it's a possibility," he said, finding his voice oddly calm and emotionless. "I'm going to… need more proof, though. Excuse me." He turned and walked briskly from the Hospital Wing. He had to almost physically restrain himself from running.

XXX

For the first time Harry's feet felt like two-ton bricks as he made his way to their room. How could he look into Draco's eyes and even ask? _'Hello, lover dear, did you by any chance try to kill my best friend today?'_ Fucking hell, he felt like the worst boyfriend on the planet. But he couldn't keep ignoring the doubt. It was like he was drowning himself, and sooner or later he needed to come up for air.

All too soon he was at the tapestry. His hands shook as he pulled it aside and entered the room. Draco was standing by the one window, but he turned when Harry came in and shut the door, murmuring the usual locking and silencing charms. Harry swallowed heavily, wishing that he could read Draco's blank face for once. He did notice, however, that the Slytherin was tense and had not moved yet. A distinct feeling of dread landed in Harry's stomach.

"I-" the sound of his voice was odd and he couldn't bring himself to say anything. What could he say?

"Is something wrong?" Draco asked irritatingly calmly, an unreadable look in his eyes.

"I need to ask you something," Harry said, suddenly finding his voice as he decided on a different tactic. It would be hard to ask as well, but better than almost accusing him of poisoning Ron.

"And what is that?" Draco asked. Harry could only just hear the wariness that seeped into his voice. They still hadn't moved and stood oddly far away from each other. Harry wasn't sure if he preferred it that way or not.

"Have you-… fuck," Harry hissed, glaring at the floor, furious with himself for not being able to ask the question. He wasn't ever sure anymore of what he was asking. "I need to ask you something, but I don't want you to lie to me," he continued in a calmer tone, though he kept his eyes on the floor. "I need to know… are you…"

"I don't think you should finish that sentence," Draco cut him off, almost in his teacher's voice. Harry looked up sharply. There was an almost imperceptible pleading in Draco's eyes. They stared at each other for a long time. "If you want this to continue I suggest we keep the outside world… outside."

"But did you-"

"What I do outside this room is none of your concern." That did it. Draco was sounding far too much like Snape in that dismissing, cold drawl.

"Fuck, Draco! Will you listen to yourself! You need to start telling me things! I need to know, I could help you." For a horrible moment Harry thought Draco was going to explode as usual, but something shifted in the grey eyes. Instead Draco marched over to Harry, grabbed the slightly shorter boy's head and proceeded to snog him senseless. Harry resisted only for a moment and was soon lost in the kiss. Tongues duelled together in a comforting and familiar way and Harry groaned as Draco sucked his tongue. When they finally broke apart they were both panting.

"If you ask questions I can't do that to you," Draco breathed. He kissed Harry one more time before brushing past him out the door. Harry stood very still, his mind trying to process Draco's last comment. Fucking manipulative Slytherin! Harry almost ran after him, but stopped himself. What would it prove? Draco wasn't going to answer him. Harry sighed and leaned against the stonewall. He still had his doubts, but wanted so desperately to believe there was some other explanation. He loved Draco. He liked to think he knew him better than anyone, and he couldn't believe for one second that Draco had intentionally poisoned Ron. Besides, there was one flaw in his friend's theory that he had overlooked: Ron and Hermione believed Draco had poisoned the mead to get to Harry, as payback for his father, but Harry knew that was completely ridiculous. So Draco had no motive, at least none that Harry could see…

XXX

_About two months later… _

After dinner, where Draco ate very little, the Slytherin made up his usual excuses and sneaked off to the Room of Requirement. He was making progress with the Cabinet and he had gotten the latest instructions on how to repair it.

Draco was just about to cast the spell on the cabinet when he felt the familiar feeling in his heart, a sting almost, but this time it was even more painful. Every time he made more repairs to this… _thing_, he was condemning the school and Dumbledore, not to mention betraying Harry. If his plan worked he would lose everything. If he failed he would lose just as much…

"Fuck!" he snarled suddenly and kicked hard at the cabinet. "Why the fuck does this have to happen to me!" He couldn't do this. Yet, he couldn't _not_ do this. The conflicting emotions within him were slowly driving him insane. He knew he was already working very slowly, not to mention that his first "attempt" at killing Dumbledore had been rather pathetic. In his heart he knew Voldermort would not be satisfied with his work so far.

And he was having serious doubts about whether or not he could actually do this. Normally he was all self-confidence, but the fact that he _really_ didn't want to do this, made him doubt himself at every turn.

After that horrible incident with Ron, and Katie Bell before that, Draco had started understanding how serious the whole situation was. Ron could have died. Because of him. Draco Malfoy could have killed Ron Weasley, and that didn't even sound remotely like a good thing, and not because Ron was Harry's friend. He had been playing the scenario over and over in his head. Standing in front of the cabinet that would no doubt lead to many more deaths on his hands made his blood run cold. Suddenly Draco was feeling faint and slightly nauseous.

He turned and ran from the room, but he had only gotten as far as to the end of the corridor when he literally ran into someone. He only just managed not to fall on his arse and regained his balance quickly to glare at the offender. He blinked.

"Nott? What are you doing here?" It wasn't common for the Slytherins to venture out of the dungeons after classes, though it wasn't past curfew so Draco couldn't take points for the boy being here. Still, a Slytherin on the seventh floor corridor? Nott bristled and Draco was reminded that though he was the prefect the two purebloods were of almost equal standing. Nott was one of the very few who didn't join Draco's group because of this. He was a loner and a bit of a mystery to Draco.

"I could ask you the same question, Malfoy," he said, trying to sound both calm and polite, while cold and warning at the same time. Draco narrowed his eyes curiously at the fellow snake.

"What do you expect to find up here, Nott?" he asked, making his tone suggest he already knew the answer.

"I don't have to answer to you. You can't punish me for being here at this time of day. I'll be going now." He turned of his heel and marched off. Draco stood staring after him until he disappeared around the corner. Shaking his head to clear it Draco decided to follow suit and leave. He felt a headache coming on. He would deal with Nott if and when he found out more.

XXX

The next day he went to try and repair the cabinet again, but once again he found himself sick and decided to wait until he felt better. Just in case his illness made him do the spell wrong of course. He went again during the weekend, and again on Monday afternoon. He stood in front of it for twenty minutes, raising his wand a few times. Nothing. He couldn't say the words. He left. He met with Harry the next day so he didn't have time for the cabinet. He asked Harry if they could maybe meet more often since the end of term was getting closer. He didn't want to think about his real reasons.

When a Hogsmade weekend arrived he had been planning on spending it with Harry, as they had all the weekends so far this year, but he received a letter from Borgin and Burkes, asking if he had finished with the repairs to his cabinet, as they were done at their end. Draco told Harry he was feeling sick, which he was, and made his way to the room.

Standing in front of it again he wanted nothing more than to destroy it. Yet, he forced himself to think about his parents. Pictures of them tortured and killed came to mind, but then they were replaced with the images of Harry and a host of his fellow students, and Dumbledore, old and broken. He left the room and made it all the way to the third floor before he felt the nausea overtake him. He sprinted into the nearest bathroom and threw up in one of the sinks.

"I can't do this," he gasped as he slid to his knees on the cold floor, one hand clutching the sink. He placed the other hand over his mouth as a loud sob escaped him before he could suppress it. He closed his eyes, but feeling the tears fall only made him cry harder at his own weakness. How could he save anyone like this? How could he kill anyone like this? He willed away all thoughts as he sat there, pressing his hand to his mouth to keep the sobs in.

"Why are you crying?" came a voice, strangely enough, from above him. Draco's head snapped up and he saw the ghost of a girl hovering slightly above him and to the left. She cocked her head and looked down at him curiously. Draco stared at her blankly, his face still wet. Of course, it was Moaning Myrtle. Pansy must have mentioned her once. "I used to come in here to cry too," she continued in her eerie sounding voice. "It's very nice here, though it does get a little lonely… have you come in here to kill yourself? I'll share my cubicle with you if you do." Draco, unable to really understand what she was telling him, turned his eyes back to the floor.

"Leave me alone," he said tiredly. He really didn't want to talk to anyone. What he wanted was to go back to his room and write in his diary, though even Harry's present didn't comfort him much these days. He felt his tears starting to fall again.

"Don't cry," Myrtle all but cooed. "Why don't you talk about it." Draco shook his head, his eyes closed.

"I can't do it… anymore," he said, feeling something break inside him, as if he was killing his parents (not to mention himself) with that statement. He felt the sting near his heart. He sobbed again, ignoring the shushing noises from Myrtle.

"Draco?" Ever since Harry had started calling him by his first name Draco was forever in awe of how lovely it sounded on the Gryffindor's lips. This time, however, was not one of them. The Slytherin's blood turned to ice. He had never cried in front of anyone (alive). He knew this could only lead to so many more questions he would have to lie about.

"Draco, are you ok?" the voice was so soft, so full of worry that Draco almost threw up again. Would Harry be worrying if he knew what Draco had been working on all year? _It doesn't matter anymore,_ Draco thought savagely, _nothing matters_. He would lose everything because he had never been as strong as his father… or Harry.

Steeling himself he stood, wiping at his eyes and turned around. Harry looked so concerned Draco felt his wand hand twitch.

"I'm fine." A bigger lie was never spoken.


	7. Chapter 7

Note: Hello all! Look, another double chapter already. See, nagging helps, even in the form of awesome reviews, or especially in the form of awesome reviews. :)

Note about Dumbledore: Some may argue that my Dumbledore doesn't seem exactly like canon!Dumbledore. This fic, however, was written pre-book 7 and is sort of my take on how I _wished_ book 6 would have gone. Hence, the need to write fanfiction in the first place! Just thought I'd mention that.

_Chapter 7: The Battle of Hogwarts _

_"I'm fine." A bigger lie was never spoken._

Harry stood staring at his boyfriend. Draco had said he was sick and Harry had planned on sneaking down to Slytherin to make him feel better. The map had told him the truth of Draco's location, though, and he had run to the girls' bathroom. Of all the things he had expected to find Draco doing, crying had not been one of them.

"Draco, you're not fine," Harry insisted, taking a step towards him. Draco immediately took a step back and Harry frowned. "Tell me what's wrong," he asked softly. Draco snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Please, Potter, we have had this discussion so many times I am beginning to find it excessively tedious."

"Then tell me what's going on. Talk to me!" Harry demanded more forcefully.

"It doesn't matter anymore," Draco said, sounding bored. Harry glared at the blond, his anger rising. He was sick of this game.

"Are you a Death Eater?" he blurted out suddenly. To his immense frustration Draco merely raised a single eyebrow and didn't look startled or angry at all.

"Took you long enough," he said. He paused thoughtfully and Harry held his breath. "You're asking me if I bare his mark? The answer is no… not yet anyway." Harry gasped and managed to look both confused and hurt. Draco's own anger suddenly flared. "Don't look at me like that!" he yelled. "Don't you fucking DARE look at me like you never suspected! You may have been in denial, but subconsciously you've known all year! Ever since our first night back! So don't give me that insufferable hurt puppy look, Potter! It doesn't suit you," he spat out Harry's name as if there had never been anything but hatred between them.

"Please," Harry said pleadingly. "Let me help you. Tell me what you've been doing all year."

"It doesn't matter anymore," Draco repeated. _'I'll be dead soon anyway,'_ he added in his mind. He walked forwards and made sure not to touch Harry as he rushed past him and out the door. Harry followed close behind.

"Draco, wait! Please." Draco spun around and glared at Harry, who still had that damned hurt look that was driving him crazy.

"There isn't anything left to say," he said tensely.

"Yes, there is… _why,_" Harry pleaded.

"You would never understand," Draco replied.

"Why not? Because I'm a Gryffindor? Because I'm Harry Potter? Tell me!"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE A BLOODY ORPHAN! That's why!" Draco shouted, glaring as hard as he could. Yes, Harry was starting to look angry now. That was much better. Everything would be easier if Harry hated him, he thought. He took a step forward and was pleased when Harry stepped back. "Now, get this through that thick Gryffindor skull of yours: Stay. Away. From. Me." He spun around and ran away. He couldn't stand to be in Harry's company a moment longer. He ran all the way down to the dungeons before he stopped and leaned against the wall, panting.

He knew now; he had decided. There wasn't any point in denying it. He would never be able to kill Dumbledore. And not because it would mean Harry would hate him. No, he had made sure of that now, hadn't he? The sting in his heart wouldn't go away. He just wanted it all to be over. A good long sleep sounded good. Thanks to his hateful words Harry probably wouldn't even mourn. He would only remember Draco as the Death Eater he deserved to be remembered as. And his parents? Well, he would do right by them. Lucius was in Azkaban, for now, so there wasn't much to be done there. He knew his father was better at surviving than he was. His mother… he would need to send a letter urging her to go into hiding, but making it look like she was just off on holiday or something... a flimsy plan at best, and most likely hopeless. Maybe she would get away, though the letter, if discovered, would no doubt seal his own doom... but then again, his fate was sealed already.

XXX

Harry felt his heart shattering as he watched Draco storm off. He wanted to blame Draco, but found the blame landing solely on himself. He had known, on some level, all along. He grew angrier as he thought about all the times he could have done something. Maybe he should have asked Dumbledore for help? But he had had too much to deal with to bother. He had just pretended everything was fine and concentrated on other things.

He started walking towards Gryffindor Tower, wondering what time it was and whether the others would be back from Hogsmade soon.

"Harry," the voice startled him out of his thoughts and he whirled around to face Dumbledore himself, standing in the corridor with a knowing twinkle in his eyes, though they also rather suspiciously held sympathy. "Why don't you come with me to my office. I think we should talk." He gestured for Harry to walk with him and the young Gryffindor did so automatically. He glanced up at the man as they walked.

"Have you found out more about Tom Riddle, Headmaster, or the horcruxes?" he asked. The man smiled kindly at him.

"Nothing more just yet, my boy, but that wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about."

"What then?" Harry felt a tightening in his throat. Could Dumbledore know? Harry felt sick to his stomach if it turned out Dumbledore knew he had dated a soon to be Death Eater all year, and done nothing about it.

"All in good time," was the reply and Harry remained silent as they made their way to the Headmaster's office. Once inside Dumbledore offered him a seat and the standard lemon drop. Harry took the former and kindly refused the latter. He didn't think he could handle anything sweet at the moment.

"Is there anything on your mind, Harry? Something troubling you perhaps?" Dumbledore asked. The knowing twinkle seemed to grow brighter. Harry almost scowled at the man. He never did appreciate the man's way of getting people to talk. Harry much rather preferred the direct approach. Just as he opened his mouth to answer with something equally vague the fire in the heath turned green and Severus Snape suddenly appeared, stepping out and dusting off his robes. He looked even paler than usual. His expression was as stern as always, but with a hint of nervousness Harry had never seen before. The man scowled at Harry before turning his attention to Dumbledore.

"Albus, I need to speak with you, privately, it is urgent," he said and now Harry was sure something was wrong because he heard something akin to fear in the man's voice.

"Please sit down, Severus. You may speak freely in front of Harry, I assure you," the Headmaster gestured to the chair beside Harry. Snape's eyes widened for a second before he walked briskly forward and sat down, pointedly ignoring Harry.

"Albus, surely you understand where I have just come from? I think it would be prudent for us to be alone when we discuss this." Dumbledore actually smiled.

"Harry has a very important role to play, Severus, he deserves to know what is happening in this war. He already knows more secrets than you." Harry resisted the urge to thank Merlin out loud that the man had finally gotten a clue in that respect. He was extremely thankful for all the things Dumbledore had shared with him during the year. Snape looked like he wanted to argue some more, and the fact that he did not only reflected the urgent nature of his information.

"Voldermort is planning an attack on Hogwarts," he said flatly. Harry's eyes went wide in shock and he looked at Dumbledore, who was now frowning thoughtfully.

"This isn't very big news, Severus, as we know he wants the school."

"I understand that, but this time I do believe he has found a way inside that neither of us know of."

"How?" Snape shook his head.

"I do not know by what means exactly he is planning to enter, or when. He only boasted to me that he had found a way not even you had thought of." Harry felt his insides turn to ice. Could that be what Draco had been working on all year? Harry couldn't remain silent. Lives were at stake.

"Eh, sir." Both adults' attention turned to him, Snape with one eyebrow raised as if he couldn't possibly believe Harry had anything to contribute. "Malfoy has been sneaking off to the Room of Requirement all year." Snape snorted and Harry's head snapped in his direction.

"I am aware of that, Potter. The Room of Requirement, however, does not hold any secret passageways. Nor does it make one if you require it enough."

"You knew?"

"Of course." Harry bit his lip as he considered of the other things Snape knew. Snape seemed to realise this and Harry thought he saw a slight smirk. He quickly pushed his apprehension away and focused on Dumbledore.

"I know the room won't give you a passageway, but what if he's working on something inside it?" Harry paused. He felt like he was the one betraying Draco, not the other way around, but it couldn't be helped. "He admitted to me he was going to become a Death Eater soon, although he wouldn't tell me what he had been doing all year." Dumbledore was looking very serious by now.

"Severus, do you think you will be informed before the attack takes place?"

"I am not sure. He has no reason not to, at the moment, so I don't see why not." The Headmaster nodded.

"We will have to be prepared… but we can't have it look like we're prepared." Harry wanted to ask what Dumbledore meant when he realised that if they appeared to prepared it would jeopardise Snape's spy status. Whatever doubts Harry had over Snape were rapidly dwindling. The man had just informed them of Voldermort's plans; very important and secret plans. Dumbledore fixed Harry with a curious stare. "When the attack comes, we cannot let Voldemort realise we had Professors posted close to the Room," he said. "But perhaps someone else, who wander about the school all the time..." Harry suddenly caught on.

"The DA can be posted around the school. Make it look like students sneaking out after curfew. One of them can run off and pretend to get help. We could hold them off until the teachers arrive and drive them back with their help. If they do somehow come through the room," Harry added.

"We will need vigilant members at all possible weak spots," Dumbledore agreed. "The must be briefed on the possible attack, and their main objective will be to sound the alert, and get other students to safety, not to engage the Death Eaters directly if they can help it."

"You cannot be suggesting having _students_ go against Death Eaters?" Snape sneered at Harry.

"Considering the events at the Ministry last year I think they are more than capable," Dumbledore said. Snape blinked. He had obviously forgotten that Harry hadn't been alone that night. He nodded once in acknowledgement and it was Harry's turn to blink. Snape and him getting along was a novel, though not unpleasant experience.

"Depending on how early I am informed, we might devise a way for the rest of the students to be sent to their dorms," Snape suggested.

"We could tell them there's a troll loose, like in my first year," Harry suggested quickly. "No one dared to sneak out during that."

"Except you and your friends," Snape said, though he didn't sneer this time. Dumbledore's twinkle was back. Harry shrugged, quite unrepentant.

"If I know Tom, the attack will happen at night, but it might be prudent to spread rumours a troll. Now as for where to place the DA members." They continued to discuss plans for the attack, trying to anticipate how Voldemort would strike at them. Without real knowledge of the Dark Lord's plan, they would have to spread themselves thin. Snape and Harry did argue more, especially when it came to certain members of his group, like Neville, but in the end they all seemed happy with the strategy.

All they had to do now was wait for Voldermort to inform Snape when the attack would take place, and how. Harry only hoped they would have some warning. He also hoped that the whole attack would somehow be called off because a certain someone didn't go through with it, whatever it was.

Harry made his way back to Gryffindor Tower, feeling exhausted with everything. The others were back from Hogsmade and Harry took Ron and Hermione aside first and explained everything. He even told them that their suspicions about Draco had been right, though he left out anything that would imply there was something between them. He didn't think the battle would go well if they were angry at him for sleeping with the enemy. The more Harry explained the more he realised he really had been sleeping with the enemy all along. Draco really had been working for Voldemort all year, right under Harry's nose.

He gathered the DA members for the first time that year. He explained the situation after making them swear secrecy. Anyone not wanting to get involved in something dangerous was welcomed to leave. Surprisingly many stayed. Even more surprising was that no one else left after hearing what they were going to do. Harry told them to practice as hard as they could because he didn't know how much time they had. It could be weeks or days. Everybody seemed determined not to let him down, and although Harry felt slightly uncomfortable about that, he accepted it. Anything to make them work hard.

That night he slept uneasy to say the least. Visions of Draco kidnapping him and torturing him plagued his dreams. And he couldn't help but feel guilty at them when he awoke. He knew Draco, he kept repeating to himself, he would never do that! 'But that's what Death Eaters do,' a little voice inside his head insisted.

XXX

The next day, Sunday, Harry did nothing but train with the DA in the Room of Requirement. Many times he had to stop himself from thinking too much about all the time Draco had spent in this room.

He didn't see Draco that day, which wasn't surprising. On Monday morning Ron had to literally drag him out of bed. He didn't know how he would react to seeing Draco now. Knowing was far worse he decided; ignorance really was bliss. As they made their way down to the common room to meet Hermione Ron kept sending odd glances in his direction.

"Something wrong, Harry?" he asked. Harry almost snorted.

"Aside from the imminent attack on the school?" he asked sarcastically, cursing himself when he realised how like Draco he sounded. Ron looked apologetic, but then thoughtful.

"If it's just that then you should be on alert, not trying to sleep past breakfast," he pointed out. They reached the common room and walked over to join Hermione. She immediately looked worried.

"You look awful, Harry, is something wrong?" Harry looked from one to the other. Did he really look that different? Ron and Hermione were just as worried over the attack as he was, but they managed to keep things together, didn't they? So the bags under his eyes were from Draco alone. He started to shrug, then relented.

"I broke up with my boyfriend on Saturday," he said, looking down at his feet.

"Oh, Harry, I'm sorry."

"Me too mate," Ron said, sounding genuinely upset for his friend. Harry gave them a small smile of gratitude and they headed off for breakfast. On their way Hermione's curiosity got the better of her.

"Did it… it didn't have anything to do with the attack, did it?" By her tone it was clear she didn't think so, but she couldn't help but ask. Harry shook his head.

"No, we had a lot of issues I guess… I think we just stopped talking to each other… maybe we never really talked. Doesn't matter anymore." Harry felt his throat constrict as he parroted Draco's words to him. They entered the Great Hall and Harry tried with all his Gryffindor strength not to look at the Slytherin table. It was inevitable, however, as he always sat facing it. The others would ask questions if he suddenly decided to sit facing the other way. He glanced up between his lashes over Hermione's shoulder. Just for a few seconds, but it was enough. Draco looked probably even worse than he did. He looked like he hadn't slept since their confrontation. None of the other Slytherins were speaking to him, though Pansy and Blaise kept sending worried glances in his direction. Crabbe and Goyle sat beside him and didn't seem to notice anything unusual with their leader. Harry sighed. He honestly didn't know what to feel anymore.

The classes were a blur for Harry. Between worrying over the students and the school, not to mention Draco, Harry didn't have time to pay attention to the teachers. What was even stranger was the calculating look Snape kept sending him. Harry was too busy to notice the man sending the same glances at Draco.

Two more days went by like this and Harry thought he was going to explode. He actually wished Voldermort would get his ass in gear and attack already. It was therefore almost a relief when he was summoned to the Headmaster's office. He cast a knowing glance at Ron and Hermione, as well as the other DA members in the classroom, and hurried out. Once inside the familiar office Harry rushed over to the Headmaster's desk, behind which sat Dumbledore, without his usual twinkle. Snape was already there, seated in his usual chair, and glanced once at Harry when he came in.

"Sit down, my boy." Harry really wished he would just come out and say it. Nevertheless he sat down and uttered his standard refusal for the lemon drops. "I actually had other plans for us tonight, Harry," Dumbledore shot him with a piercing look that made Harry very confused. His eyes widen suddenly in realisation, but he quickly schooled his featured since Snape was in the room. Dumbledore continued without missing a beat. "But I am afraid we shall both remain at Hogwarts. Snape has informed me Voldermort plans to attack tonight, though he has saved their means of entrance as a surprise." Harry took a deep breath and nodded. They had prepared as best they could. Dumbledore nodded as well and then seemed to hesitate. Harry frowned.

"You must wear your invisibility cloak tonight," Snape said suddenly and Harry whirled around to stare at him. He didn't have time to act shocked over the fact that Snape knew he had one.

"What! You expect me to hide while my friends fight?"

"You shouldn't be there at all. This is a compromise," Snape said sharply, a clear warning in his voice. One that Harry ignored.

"I will _not_ hide!"

"Harry." Dumbledore's voice was full of understanding, but Harry knew the old man had really been one to suggest it. He had probably told Snape about the cloak. "You have a vital role to play, but not in this battle. We cannot afford to lose you now. You can help your friends as long as you stay hidden." Though the tone was mild Harry knew there was no arguing with them. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair in agitation.

"I can't wait for the day I get to kill the bastard," Harry muttered before he could stop himself. To his surprise Dumbledore looked shocked while Snape actually smirked.

"Good to see you have some of your priorities in order," he said dryly. Harry looked at him oddly, suddenly wondering why the man hadn't confronted him about Draco. Surely he knew? The man seemed to know almost as much as Dumbledore. Harry shook the thought away. The man would have forbidden him to see Draco if he had known.

"Be ready by dusk," Dumbledore said. Harry nodded and left without another word.

XXX

Harry was tense. He wanted to pace back and forth, but he didn't. Instead he remained still. He cursed Dumbledore and Snape. He had wanted to be close to the Room of Requirement, for many reasons. But no. He was too bloody valuable. Of course, they didn't tell him that, but instead made it sound like he was actually in a more dangerous place. By the secret entrance from Honydukes. Harry knew better. He knew it was unlikely they would use this entrance – it was unlikely they could ever get through the wards. The worst was probably the fact that Dumbledore had "requested" the use of Harry's map, another thing Harry wondered how the old man had found out about. He couldn't even look at it for signs of Draco. All he could do was wait for someone to signal through the coin. He was ready to run as fast as he could. He hoped he wouldn't need to.

Ron and Hermione were close to him, both looking as tense as he felt. Suddenly, _finally_, the signal came. He checked the coin: _'RoR'_. The three of them headed off in that direction. By the time they arrived the battle had already begun. Harry couldn't suppress a gasp at the scene.

Death Eaters were pouring out of the room and the DA were outnumbered by far. Luckily the plan had already been set in motion and Harry could here a voice calling behind them: "Over here, Professor!" Several students were already fighting together against one or two Death Eaters. Some seemed to be heading in the other direction. Harry wondered what sort of orders they had been given. Hopefully the DA would hold them off there too.

Ron and Hermione jumped into the fighting alongside Neville and Luna. Harry looked around desperately. He could barely see anything through the numerous spells being thrown across the corridor. He kept close to the wall, knowing he had to remain hidden despite how much he hated it. He got behind the Death Eater line and ran to the room, his footsteps falling unheard in the loud noise of the battle. There weren't any more Death Eaters coming out of the room, but the door was open so he checked inside. It was full of… junk. Harry wondered where the hell they'd come from. He didn't have time to dwell on it though, as he quickly shut the door. Pacing in front of it quickly he thought of a blank white wall. Opening it again he found an empty white room. He turned and blasted the door off its hinges. Maybe that would slow things down a little. Running back to the battle he quickly shot off stunners from between the folds of the cloak at the Death Eaters' backs. He knew it was rather unsporting, but couldn't care less at the moment.

It wasn't long before someone noticed. One of the masked figures turned and shot off a curse in his direction. He dodged it and threw off another stunner. He realised more teachers had arrived, but that the Death Eaters still outnumbered them. The DA evened the fight even more than Harry had expected, however. Harry wished he had his map so he could see where all the rest of the fighting was taking place, for some of the Death Eaters had run off.

He couldn't see Ron or Hermione anymore and that worried him greatly. He kept moving and throwing mostly stunners from under his cloak. It was then he saw the unmistakable blond hair of a certain Death Eater. For a moment he stopped short and gasped in shock. Lucius Malfoy was supposed to be in prison! How could he be at Hogwarts? But there was no mistaking that long hair, even as the man pulled up his hood Harry could still see it sticking out. Malfoy seemed to signal something to the nearby group of Death Eaters and they turned and ran in the opposite direction, towards Harry. He sidestepped them and then followed. The DA and teachers were too occupied with the Death Eaters who had remained. Harry followed them as they moved through the corridors. Harry wondered where they were going when he realised they must be heading for the Headmaster's office. It made sense that they needed to get rid of Dumbledore if they were going to take Hogwarts.

Harry kept himself hidden for the moment. He was very thankful when the group ran into resistance not far from the gargoyle. Harry started up his strategy again, feeling the adrenaline pump through his body. A stinging hex caught him, but he barely noticed. He was just about to hex the fucker back when he heard footsteps and spun to see Snape coming this way. Harry tried jumping out of the way, but as Snape sent off a cutting hex, it caught on Harry's leg and he went down with a cry. Snape appeared puzzled by what had stopped his spell when realisation dawned on him. He searched the space between him and the duelling taking place at the end of the corridor. He looked for a moment like a blind mind with a very short walking stick.

Harry bit his lip to keep from crying out again. He knew Snape wanted to help, but they couldn't risk it. The wound wasn't that bad as it had only grazed him, but it was still bleeding and the blood was seeping out from underneath the cloak.

"Snape!" a voice called. One of the Death Eaters. "Check in the office!" The man did a wordless spell as he walked past Harry, his wand pointed downwards. The blood on the floor disappeared. Harry ripped a piece of his school robe and tied it around the wound. By the time he had gotten on his feet again the scene around him had changed. Dumbledore had arrived and was battling even more fiercely than the night at the Ministry with Voldemort. Lucius was absent and the Light side was pushing the Death Eaters back.

Standing and testing how much weight his leg could take, Harry made sure his cloak was around him. He hoped things were going well in other parts of the castle. He was just about to launch himself back into the fight again when a loud gasp was heard. Harry spun around yet again and gasped himself, though the noise was drowned out by a cry from one of the duellers - Harry didn't know from which side. Draco was standing in the corridor, looking a mixture of shocked, horrified and determined. Harry didn't know if he should stun him or let him be.

He didn't have time to think it over as he felt his coin vibrated again. He checked it: _'Entrance, Ron.'_ Harry frowned. He didn't want to leave Draco or Dumbledore, but he couldn't ignore the message. Things seemed to be going good for his side here anyway. He didn't know how to deal with Draco at the moment.

He quickly sprinted off towards the entrance. The doors were open wide. Harry looked around, but no one seemed to be there. It was eerily silent after the fighting. The moonlight spilled through the doors, making it all seem almost ghostlike. A pained groaned reached his ears and his eyes were drawn to the doors again.

Outside in front of the steps leading to the castle lay a lone figure. Harry immediately rushed forward and out the door. Jumping down the steps two at a time he ran over to Ron's side, falling to his knees when he reached his friend. Ron's school robe was torn and Harry thought there was an awful lot of blood. He was just about to check for cuts when Ron opened his eyes and looked about wildly.

"It's ok, Ron, it's me," Harry reassured him, holding his shoulders as Ron attempted to sit up.

"I can't see you, I can't see," he said desperately. Harry pulled off the cloak at once and Ron looked relieved.

"What happened?" Harry asked, glad Ron seemed to be fully conscious at least. Ron looked off to his right and held out his hand towards something. Harry followed his gaze and saw the redhead's wand lying beside him.

"My wand," Ron gasped. Harry leaned over the redhead's body slightly, knowing Ron would feel safer with his wand. Just as he grabbed the wand Ron jerked forwards and grabbed it at the same time. Confusion flooded through Harry and he wondered why Ron hadn't just grabbed it himself if he could reach. That passed a second later when he stared into the now shining eyes of Ron. They glinted wickedly as a smirked slid across his face and Harry felt a terrifying pull at his navel. At that moment he realised two things. One, that he wasn't holding a wand, but a stick that looked like a wand. And two, that it wasn't just a stick either. He didn't even have time to curse or cry out.

A second later and they were both gone, Harry's cloak lying forgotten in front of Hogwarts castle.


	8. Chapter 8

**Note**: This is one of my more re-written chapters. Those that read the original might be disappointed it has lost some of its... potency, but I would disagree. At the time I wrote it, I was still fairly new to the more graphic fanfiction out there, and I was eager to experiment and push the envelope of what I could make myself write. I wanted to shock people, but when I look back at it I feel it comes off as more gratuitous violence. So this is my 2011 version. I have kept the events fairly similar, but left it more implied than graphic. I hope you (still) think it readable. But I must still issue this warning:

**WARNING**: **this chapter contains violence and adult themes (implied, but not graphic)**

**Note on formatting**: I noticed I've failed to switch the "" to ''. My later fanfics all use the latter. I can't remember when I decided to switch, but my reasoning was that most books (including my HP editions) use 'this method' instead of "this" for speech (also it makes writing much faster because I don't have to press shift all the time) but I've forgotten to correct it in here. I hope there is no confusion and I'll just leave the "" for the rest of this story.

_Chapter 8: Undisclosed location_

Harry landed heavily on top of Ron, or whoever it was polyjuiced as Ron. He scrambled to get his wand pointed in the right direction, but before he could regain his senses properly someone shouted _expelliarmus_ and his wand was gone. The impersonator then slammed his knee up into Harry's stomach, forcing him to roll off, groaning and gasping for breath. He heard a laugh that could only be described as a cackle.

This was not good. He had failed to keep himself hidden - the one thing he was supposed to do. And now all was lost, for surely he couldn't expect some miraculous escape every time. Even Harry Potter's luck must run out. He clutched his stomach and kept his eyes shut, thinking hard about where he had heard that laugh before.

"Are you all right, Lucius?" came a gruff voice from somewhere in front of him. He heard Lucius in Ron's body get up and brush himself off.

"Aside from a slightly hard landing, I am fine," came Ron's voice, sounding horrible and alien with that aristocratic drawl. Harry knew he was in deep shit now. He felt the stone floor beneath and by the smell of the place he guessed they were in some sort of dungeon.

"What? Is the scrawny little boy heavier than he looks?" the laughing one asked and Harry's eyes snapped open with recognition. Bellatrix Lestrange stood beside her husband, both looked amused as they watched Lucius in Ron's body saunter casually over to a table in the middle of the room. They were definitely in a dungeon. "So, how does it feel to be in a Weasley's body?" Bellatrix continued, smirking widely. Lucius didn't look at her, but answered as he picked up a potion vial from the otherwise empty table. Before he uncorked it he used his wand against his throat and when next he spoke his voice was much deeper, and unmistakably Lucius'.

"It is an experience I do not wish to repeat," he said smoothly as he downed the contents. Harry lifted his head slightly and looked about. It was pretty dark, with plain stonewalls only illuminated by a few touches at each end. No door. So they must Apparate in and out. The image of Ron started slowly to transform. Just as Lucius regained his own body he pulled out his wand and waved it over himself. The school robes turned to Death Eater style robes. Harry's eyes flickered back to the Lestranges. They seemed amused by Lucius' discomfort. Harry knew he couldn't even Apparate into a ring in the same room properly yet, and since he didn't even know where he was things were looking pretty bad. Lucius turned and walked back over to Harry. He looked down his nose at the boy.

"You have no idea how long I've waited to do this… _crucio!_" The incredible pain shot through Harry's body. Thousands of knives through his skin, his head feeling like it would explode. He couldn't even hear his own screams of pain. In his mind he begged for unconsciousness. Then, after a few minutes or years, Harry wasn't sure, the curse was lifted and Harry lay panting on his back.

"Why do you get to have all the fun, Lucius?" Bellatrix' whining voice reached his ears. Lucius ignored her. He kicked Harry in the side, though only to gain his attention.

"Get up!" he ordered. Harry thought he might vomit if he moved, but he didn't want to die lying down on a dungeon floor with Lucius Malfoy looking down his nose at him. He gingerly sat up and slowly got on his knees before carefully rising to his feet. Bellatrix snickered and made rude comments, which both Harry and Lucius ignored. He was in too much pain to let his hatred of her take hold of him, but it was still there and he wished he could kill her. Images of Sirius flashed through his mind. When he was standing Lucius grabbed his arm and dragged him until he stood in the middle of the room, with his back turned to the table. He glared at Lucius, who simply smirked and stood back, eyes gliding up and down Harry's body.

Something was not right. Where was Voldermort? Why wasn't he dead yet? And why the hell wouldn't Bellatrix stop snickering? Harry didn't take his eyes off Lucius, however, as he wanted to meet death straight on. He could still feel the cut in his leg, but he didn't really have time to dwell on it.

"I suppose you're wondering where the Dark Lord is?" Lucius asked. "Fortunately for us the Dark Lord has other things to do. It comes as quite a shock, I would imagine, that Harry Potter is not the most important thing in the Dark Lord's life. You see, you really are just a worthless half-blood." Harry let the insults wash over him. Yes, taunting before imminent death he could understand, was used to even, but Lucius' wandering eyes were causing a clinching in his stomach. "The Dark Lord has therefore decided to allow us to… _play_ a little before you die as a reward for capturing you." Bellatrix cackled again and Harry could swear he saw Rodolphus leering at him out of the corner of his eye. Lucius took another step back and seemed to be appraising Harry.

"Strip," he ordered. Harry couldn't help it; he gaped. He wasn't naïve or innocent anymore by far, but that particular thought had never crossed his mind. Bellatrix laughed, but he was too shocked to notice. Regaining a little sense, Harry shook his head.

"No, never," he said forcefully. Lucius only smirked, something that made Harry's insides turn to jelly.

"I have learned a thing or two about you, Potter. I don't think torturing you would give me the desired results. However…" he trailed off and looked at the floor by the Lestranges. The two Death Eaters stepped away from each other and Harry saw the form of Ron lying behind them. How had he not seen him before? It made sense though. How else had they gotten the hair and the coin? He didn't look too beat up, but Harry could definitely see bruises. He was at least fully clothed. The redhead was lying on his side, his eyes wide as they stared ahead. For a horrible moment Harry thought he was dead, but then he saw the rise and fall of his chest. He was just in a body-bind then. "Do as I say or your friend here shall suffer a most long and painful death." Fuck. Now what? Harry couldn't allow Ron to be tortured. He simply refused. And that left him with only one alternative. He knew in the end they would both die, but maybe he could stall for time, or make them kill him quickly at least? In his current state he was willing to hope for anything. There weren't any other options.

_Ron lay unmoving. Not for lack of trying to move, however. In fact he was quite desperate to get up, but the magic was keeping his body stiff and awkward. He had been fighting in the corridors not far from the entrance hall, alongside Hermione and other senior members of Dumbledore's Army. The Death Eater he had been duelling had faltered and Ron had pushed his advantage. He hadn't noticed how far ahead of the other he had gotten until he finally disarmed the Death Eater and turned around in triumph. The last thing he had seen had been Hermione's eyes searching for him, and then widening in horror. _

_Next thing he knew he was in this place, a dank dungeon somewhere, alone. _

_Capture he could handle, torture, death. But this... this was so much worse. _

_They were going to use him to get to Harry, to get Harry to submit, and Ron knew it would work. He wished he could look away, if only to spare Harry that much. _

"Control your wife, Rodolphus. I only want to hear Potter's begging."

_No, do not give them the satisfaction, Harry, Ron thought desperately. Resist. Resist for as long as you can. Let them kill me! It doesn't matter in the end. We're dead anyway. _

"Come on, Potter," Lucius all but purred. "Not bad, actually," Lucius commented. "Such youth is always… delectable."

_How had the bastard gotten out of Azkaban anyway? Had the Dementors turned? Ron tired to occupy his mind to take his focus off of Harry's sounds of discomfort. He couldn't help but think that if it had been him, he would have been screaming bloody murder by now. _

_Ron's anger boiled within him to such a degree he was sure he would explode. Tears were streaming down his face. _

Harry did not exist on a level where he was aware of pain. After the incident in the grave yard, pain was something to be handled, stored away deep in his subconscious. The humiliation, the fact that Ron was nearby, would come later.

Suddenly Harry heard the distinct sound of someone apparating into the dungeon. Lucius grunted rather un-Malfoy-like.

"Be with you in a moment, Severus." Harry's whole body tensed, which threw his focus off and everything came crashing into him and he failed to hold in his cry of pain. He tried not to imagine Snape's face. Disgust? Hunger? That horrible smirk? Fuck, he almost felt like retching right then. He was acutely aware of all the eyes on them, even Ron's. He shut his eyes tightly and didn't think of anything except a blank white wall. Pain is temporary: it would end or he would die.

When Lucius finally stepped away, the pain did not stop as Harry fell to the ground.

"Tell me, Potter. Did I take your innocence as well as your dignity?" Harry mustered all the hatred for this man he could in his current state and glared up defiantly.

"No," he said and felt a small victory in the fact that his voice was steady and full of defiance as well. To his dismay Lucius merely smirked wickedly.

"Really? Tell me, who was it? Was it the Weasley boy?" Harry didn't answer. He was not going to tell them _that_. He couldn't imagine what Lucius would do if he found out it had been Draco. Would he be angry, or amused? Harry hoped he would be shocked stupid. He smiled to himself as he pictured Lucius' dumbfounded expression. He received a kick in his ribs for this.

"What is amusing?" Lucius spat, clearly annoyed his torture and humiliation tactics were failing. "Come on, Potter. Tell me. I think I'd like to torture your boyfriend as well. So if you don't answer I'm going to assume it's Weasley."

"No, it's not him," Harry said immediately.

"Then who?" Harry's mind was racing, though in a very disorientated way. He felt as if he wasn't lying on the floor or a dungeon at all. He didn't think he could feel his body if he wanted to. He could hardly think at all. He couldn't say the name of someone he knew. If they were somehow targeted in the next battle Harry couldn't live with himself… though he was likely not going to be there for the next battle.

"It's no one you know," he said finally. Lucius snorted.

"I doubt you're fucking anyone outside school, Potter. I check the lists every year and I believe I know the ones in yours. I was on the Board of Governors after all, though not anymore, thanks to you." Harry could hear the hatred in the man's voice. "A name, if you please, to satisfy my curiosity," he drawled, though the warning was clear in his voice. Harry was desperately trying to think straight, but his thoughts were jumbled. Maybe Harry could say the name of a Slytherin? Another known Death Eater wannabe? Maybe they would only be congratulated on fucking the Boy Who Lived? Blaise was out as he was neutral. Crabbe or Goyle… _ew_. Lucius let go of Harry's hair and his head fell with a painful crack against the table.

"Very well, Weasley it is then." Harry thought frantically and then came to a decision. He needed to make it sound believable so he whimpered pathetically and spoke softly.

"Theo." Lucius movements stopped abruptly. Then he came back and pulled Harry's head up as before.

"What did you say?" he demanded, something akin to bewilderment in his voice.

"Theo," Harry repeated, his eyes closed and more tears falling from the pain, but actually adding credibility to his bluff.

"Give me his last name! A full name!" Lucius demanded.

"Nott, alright! We've been seeing each other all year." Lucius seemed stunned, but composed himself quickly and let go of Harry's hair.

"That is interesting," he drawled, sounding almost amused. Before he could say anything more Snape stepped forward. He cleared his throat and Harry tensed. He had completely forgotten the man was there.

Could Snape possibly rescue them? But it would destroy his spy status… but surely he would sacrifice that for Ron and Harry's lives, wouldn't he? For the first time, Harry felt the desire to live acutely. He didn't want to die here, nor did Ron deserve to. "How goes the battle?" Lucius asked.

"It doesn't. We have retreated." Harry felt a surge of triumph inside him, but stayed still. Snape's voice betrayed nothing about what he thought about the scene before him.

"What? But it was suppose to be simple!"

"The students proved more resourceful than anticipated." _Go, DA!_ Harry cheered silently. Lucius made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat. "The Dark Lord requires someone to _entertain_ himself with now that he has punished those who did not fight well enough. I am to take the Weasley boy up." He heard Snape move towards Ron.

"Why would he want the redhead?" Bellatrix demanded, stepping forward. Harry could practically hear the sneer in Snape's voice.

"It is not my place to question The Dark Lord, nor is it yours. I will return shortly and then I will want a turn with _him._" If Harry could see Snape's face he would have had serious doubts of the man's loyalties. His gaze was filled with such utter hatred and loathing, along with hunger and determination as he glared at Harry's form. Even Bellatrix kept her mouth shut. Lucius chuckled.

"Of course, Severus. I can imagine you have a few scores to settle." Harry heard more movement and then two cracks as Snape and Ron disapparated. He managed to hold in his sigh of relief. He only prayed Snape would come back for him quickly. He could not allow himself to even consider that Snape had actually taken Ron to the Dark Lord.

"I want a go too," Rodolphus spoke up for only the second time. Harry barely suppressed his whimper.

"Certainly not," Bellatrix said promptly.

"What? Why not?" Harry couldn't believe it. Were they really arguing over him?

"Because, husband of mine, we get to torture him afterwards."

"So? I want to fuck him too." Harry would never have guessed Bellatrix to be the jealous type, but apparently she was rather attached to her husband.

"Come with me. We will discuss this privately." Harry would not like to argue with that voice and neither it seemed did Rodolphus. After the sound of them disapparating he heard Lucius' chuckle again.

"I shall have to find some way to amuse myself before Severus returns..." Lucius seemed to speak to himself. "C_rucio._" Again Harry felt the blinding pain. He screamed and wreathed on the floor like a fish on land.

"Severus," Lucius greeted. So that's why he stopped, Harry thought. He pressed his cheek against the table and concentrated on his breathing.

"Lucius… may I?"

"Of course. Be my guest." Harry almost snorted at the absurdity of the exchange. He heard Lucius step back and Snape come forward. Then he felt long cold fingers take a firm hold on his arm and despite himself a sudden terror gripped him. What if he had been wrong all along? Maybe Ron was off somewhere being tortured. No, he had to keep hoping, right up till death.

"I think I would like to see his face." Snape gripped underneath his shoulders and hauled him to his feet. Harry groaned as his entire body still hurt from the cruciatus, not to mention his bruised stomach and cut leg, the latter of which was Snape's fault. Snape didn't let go, but helped turn Harry around so he was standing in front of the man. "Look at me," Snape ordered. Harry's head was pounding, and his scalp was stinging, but he forced himself to look up. Hopefully he would see his answers in the man's eyes. The almost completely black orbs were eyes Harry had never truly looked directly into. As he gazed he realised his glasses were long gone. When he focused with a squint, Snape's eyes held determination and something more, the usual hatred was completely gone. Harry almost frowned, but then his eyes went slightly wide in realisation. Before he even had time to think the action through, both his hands had gone up to grip tightly to Snape's arms, which were still holding him under the shoulders.

Harry had just time enough to hear Lucius questioning Snape when he felt them both apparating. He had been right. Snape was loyal. Snape had saved them. He had survived once again. Relief spread through his body and he went limp against Snape when they arrived, to where he had no idea.

XXX

Harry slumped against Snape and heard a grunt from the man. A distant part of Harry's brain thought it wasn't a good thing to be slumped against Snape. He had saved Harry, but perhaps it was best not to push his luck. He gathered what strength he had and pushed himself up. He decided that wasn't the best idea either, as his stomach was feeling very queasy and painful from the kicking. He promptly sat down of the ground and lay back, closing his eyes. He felt the mossy ground underneath him and smelled the air. They were in a forest. The Forbidden Forest perhaps?

"Potter, it is unwise to linger here," Snape said, glancing around nervously. Harry had to agree and sat up quickly, taking Snape's offered hand. "Are you able to stand on your own?" Harry nodded and only swayed a little when he did. His stomach was actually settling a little. The pain in his leg was more palpable, though. He didn't even want to think about other parts of his anatomy. He looked at Snape and saw what he could only describe as pain in the man's face. Had Snape been hurt in the battle? Snape waved his hand down his front and all the many buttons on his robe popped open. He shrugged it off and helped Harry into it. Harry was too shocked to protest or comment. The man did up all the buttons with the same method. It was far too big, not to mention very long, but Harry was very grateful for it. Snape was left in a white shirt and black trousers.

"Thank you," Harry said, his voice hoarse and sounding incredibly tired. Snape nodded curtly. He kneeled, lifted the robe at Harry's leg and studied the cut. He actually looked guilty as he gazed at the wound and Harry remembered it had been his curse. "It's ok… I should have known to get out of your way quicker," Harry said. Snape didn't reply.

"I think it is best to let Madam Pomfrey take care of this," he said instead. Harry had never heard Snape's voice sounding so… normal, with a touch of concern even. He couldn't really be bothered to dwell on it though. Thinking was too painful. "We need to get you back. You could have internal injuries." So the bruise on his stomach looked that bad? Snape was hesitating, despite his earlier warning about lingering. Why?

"Where's Ron?" Harry asked suddenly.

"I expect he's in the Hospital Wing by now." Harry nodded, wondering what Snape was waiting for. He wanted to go to sleep and right then he didn't care if it was in the Hospital Wing.

"I think it is best... I shall heal you as best I can before I take you to the Hospital Wing. Forgive me." Harry frowned at Snape rose swiftly.

"What do you-" Before Harry could complete his question Snape had waved his wand and Harry's world went black.

When next he awoke he was being carried. By Snape he realised. He felt slightly better, though his stomach still hurt and his leg had not been healed. Hogwarts was looming over them and Snape hurried despite his burden.

"My cloak, my wand," Harry began, but Snape cut him off.

"Your cloak was retrieved and I have your wand," he said softly.

"You? How?" Harry asked.

"I stole it from Bellatrix." Harry had kept his head on Snape's shoulder, but now he looked up with a slightly incredulous expression.

"How? When?"

"When I retrieved Weasley. I did it with a pick-pocket spell I'm rather proficient at." Snape glanced briefly in his direction. Harry swore he saw a smug smirk, but before he could question further he head the sound of footsteps. They had just entered the castle.

"Harry, Severus," Dumbledore's voice was both a relief to hear and a curse. Harry was very glad the man was ok and walking about, but it meant he would have to start explaining things. He couldn't help but feel guilty. _Keep hidden, Harry, you're too important! _And he had gotten himself captured. Risked everything! The whole bloody wizarding world! Harry dropped his head on Snape's shoulder, closing his eyes. "How are you?" Dumbledore asked, though Harry didn't know who he was addressing.

"I am fine. Harry is injured, but nothing life-threatening," Snape said, sounding much more like the normal Potions Master Harry was used to hearing in Dumbledore's office, though it was still far from the one he heard in class.

"Good, good," Dumbledore walked beside them as Snape carried Harry up the stairs towards the Hospital Wing. "And how…?" Dumbledore trailed off, but Snape seemed to understand the question even if Harry didn't.

"It was my position with the Dark Lord or Harry's life. There was no other way without seriously prolonging both boys' torture."

"Of course." Harry was very glad Dumbledore wasn't questioning him yet. He heard the noise level rise. The Hospital Wing seemed fuller than usual. He sneaked a glance and saw that indeed nearly all the beds were occupied with DA members and a few teachers. He hoped none of them were seriously injured. He couldn't see Ron or Hermione from where he was resting his head. He suddenly didn't want Snape to let him go, but he nevertheless didn't protest when Snape gently laid him down on a bed. Harry lay very still and didn't open his eyes. He just wanted to go to sleep.

"Oh, Harry," Hermione's voice almost made him groan, but he was glad she wasn't in one of the beds. He opened his eyes to see her running over and standing by his bed, obviously resisting the urge to smother him. Harry looked over her shoulder and saw Ron resting in the bed next to him.

"Is Ron ok?" he asked. Hermione nodded, though worry was evident in her eyes.

"He was bruised and in a bit of shock. Pomfrey put him to sleep, though he really wanted to wait for you." Harry nodded and looked over at Snape and Dumbledore, both standing by the end of his bed and wearing almost identical expressions of concern, which looked frankly bizarre considering one of them was Snape. That's when Harry realised something. Snape had saved him, healed him, carried him even! And of course it made perfect sense. Snape knew Harry was important for the war. He had tried to save Harry's life more than once before. Now he had sacrificed his spy status. He didn't even think about Snape's kind treatment of him might mean the man was a little concerned about his welfare and not just his life.

"Move aside," came Madam Pomfrey's voice and Hermione dutifully stepped back and allowed the woman to examine Harry. She threw some diagnostic spells over him. She then frowned and parted the robe to reveal his rather grisly leg. Hermione gasped and looked away. Harry thought it didn't hurt so much anymore. The spell hadn't even hit him dead on. "I will need to clean this first," she said as she removed Harry's ripped robe from the wound, though it had become loose and hardly covered the cut. It was soaked in blood. "Severus, could you get me a healing potion and ointment? I need one for the after-effects of numerous cruciatus as well." Harry wanted to protest and say _'It was only twice,'_ but kept silent. Snape nodded and left to get them, as Hermione gasped again.

The medi-witch set about casting spells on his wound, as well as his cut lip, and then asked Harry to drink the healing potions Snape returned with. She then ushered the three away and pulled the curtains around the bed.

"I will need to apply this to your stomach. You are lucky you don't have internal injuries." Harry was feeling the cut on his leg close, but his stomach still hurt. He really didn't want to take off Snape's robe though. It felt like a cocoon, as if it protected him like Snape had. It was also surprisingly soft and the weight of it was comforting. The main reason was of course that he didn't have anything underneath.

"I don't… I mean… Snape lent me his robe," he stuttered, trying to explain. He hoped she wouldn't insist she was a professional and then have him strip. She frowned, but looked at him with sympathy.

"If you can undo half the buttons and sit up you can reveal you chest and stomach only," she said. Harry nodded and sat up, having to undo the buttons by hand since he didn't know the spell. He let it pool around his waist and lay back again. She quickly applied the ointment, Harry wincing only a few times. Afterwards he felt the pain leave him, only a dull ache remaining all over. Harry sighed and sat up again to put on the robe. Madam Pomfrey frowned again, but thankfully didn't comment. She cast a few more cleaning charms on him and Harry realised the table in that dungeon had been quite filthy. He really didn't want to put on hospital pyjamas, though, and was thankful Pomfrey didn't say anything. She pulled the curtains back when he had finished and he lay down again as Hermione and the other two came forward.

"He is fine now, though he needs rest." Dumbledore nodded and smiled down at Harry.

"Harry I am sure that before you sleep you want to ask a few questions," he said. Did that mean he would save his own questions for Harry until tomorrow? Or would the Headmaster just ask Snape?

"Did anyone get badly hurt?" Harry asked, looking around. Madam Pomfrey was going from bed to bed doing checkups.

"There were a few serious injuries, but everyone here has pulled through…"

"The Death Eaters?"

"Several went down, but I am afraid only minor ones were left behind." Harry saw a solemn look on Dumbledore's face and felt his heart plummet.

"Did anyone… die?" Harry said. He looked at Hermione and she was looking sad, but not overly so. Not someone he knew well then, he hoped.

"I am afraid Theodore Nott died," Dumbledore said gravely. Harry's head snapped back to stare at the Headmaster. He had never seen the man look so sad. He felt the noise in the Hospital Wing die away as if he had lost his hearing, but he could still see Pomfrey busy as ever. He felt sick to his stomach again.

"What?" he asked weakly. "Why was he out of bed at all?"

"He was found at the bottom of the stairs. He had been hit by a stunner, but broke his neck as he fell back. We do not know why he was out of the dungeons, nor who killed him." Harry felt numb. Someone his own age had died in the war. Nott was a Slytherin, his father a Death Eater, but that still didn't mean the boy, _boy_ deserved to die. He looked at Snape suddenly, remembering what he had told Lucius. Snape was gazing back at him with a calculating look, which actually surprised Harry. He had expected to find sympathy. Did Snape know he had been lying? He didn't have time to think about that as his eyes went back to Dumbledore, the reason for his lie very clear in his mind.

"What about Malfoy?" he asked, dreading the answer. At least he couldn't be dead. Surely Dumbledore would have said so by now?

"We don't know what happened to him when the Room of Requirement opened. I believe Severus saw him running through the corridor once?" At this Snape nodded. "Though no one saw him fighting. I am afraid Mr. Malfoy left with the rest of the Death Eaters as they retreated." Harry's heart felt like it was shattering all over again. Draco had really gone. He had let the Death Eaters into Hogwarts and then gone with them. Harry had never felt so betrayed in his life, not even when he thought Sirius had killed his parents when he was suppose to be their friend. Draco had lied to him all year and now… now he was with Voldermort and… with his father. Harry kept his face as blank as he could and nodded. "Rest now, my boy. Poppy?" Madam Pomfrey came over with a familiar vial of Dreamless Sleep. Harry practically gulped it down. He wanted nothing more than sweet, sweet oblivion.

The last thing he saw before he fell asleep was Snape's calculating gaze turning into one of unmistakable sympathy.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes: **I am sorry for those who were waiting for this chapter. I completely lost interest in it over the holidays and didn't get it back until I suddenly got a review asking me to continue. I am currently trying to do many things at once, but I will try my best to get this done.

_Chapter 9: Self-inflicted_

Harry came back to consciousness slowly. He felt no pain, but he still felt a little groggy. Opening his eyes he noted he still had Snape's robe on. He was surprised the man hadn't taken it back. Maybe he wanted to burn it? Then Harry remembered what could only be described as kindness that Snape had shown him yesterday. Maybe the greasy git wasn't that bad after all? He had saved Harry's, not to mention Ron's, life, for the nth time.

He saw that the curtains were drawn and was grateful. That meant he would hopefully have some peace before people started fussing over him again. As well as putting off the inquisition Dumbledore no doubt wanted to put him through. He felt another wave of guilt. He had really fucked up this time… _again_. Seeing Bellatrix had brought back the memories from the Ministry. Sirius falling, Remus holding him back… Bellatrix laughing…

"Potter?" Harry startled slightly and looked to the side. Snape was sitting in a chair next to him. Why on earth was he there? Come to get his cloak back? Oh, no, he probably came to yell at him for his idiotic Gryffindorness for being caught now that he was healed. Harry stared at the man. Snape looked quite serious. Harry braced himself for a severe tongue-lashing.

"Yes, sir?" he said, trying to sound contrite. He knew he deserved the imminent speech.

"I wanted to…" Snape seemed to steel himself. Harry wondered how bad he was going to hear it if even Snape had trouble saying it. "… apologize." Harry blinked.

"What for?" Harry asked when the silence dragged on. He looked at Snape curiously. The man seemed paler than usual. He sat stiffly in the chair with his head slightly bowed, not meeting Harry's eyes.

"For not rescuing you sooner. I should have been there... sooner." Harry felt his throat close up. This was not something he wanted to deal with at the moment. Or ever. He didn't want anyone to apologize for that. He had himself to blame for being captured, after all. "I had to consider my options, and I did not believe I could save both you and Weasley if I attacked Lucius straight on. I had to wait. I am sorry you suffered more because of it." Merlin, of all the things Snape had done to him over the years this was the thing he felt guilty about? Saving him and Ron? The man would always be a mystery, Harry concluded.

"Don't," Harry practically snapped before Snape could continue his misguided apology. "You saved us both. Thank you for that," Harry said, looking down at his hands and hearing how inadequate those words sounded. Snape took a deep breath again and Harry braced himself, praying to all the magics in the world the man would just let it drop.

"I wanted also to talk to you about… your boyfriend." Harry's head snapped up. Snape was wearing that calculating look again, but it was lined with sympathy this time. Harry stared at him. Did he mean Nott? But there was something in the man's eyes, similar to in the dungeon before Snape had apparated. He did not dare hope, however, and so remained silent. He couldn't very well ask Snape who he meant. The Potions Master stood swiftly and looked down at Harry, a semblance of the usual countenance showing, but it reminded Harry more of how Snape acted towards his fellow Slytherins.

"Do not lose hope too quickly," he said and with that he swept out of Harry's enclosed space. What did that mean? Why couldn't Slytherins ever say what they meant? Harry decided he really hated subtlety.

"Harry?" Hermione peaked her head through the opening and he smiled at her a little to show he was ok. She came through, bearing clothes. Harry really felt like having a shower before he changed. He wondered if he could sneak out. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine now. How's Ron? And the others?"

"Ron's fine, but you know him. He's still asleep. Neville's still unconscious, but Pomfrey says he'll wake up this afternoon. No lasting damage. Luna's up reading already, which considering the curse she took is quite the feat. Other than that people are either resting or already out of the Hospital Wing." Harry frowned. He wanted to hear more details about the battle, but decided he really needed a shower. Now. He knew Pomfrey had preformed cleaning charms, but he was feeling dirty regardless. He resolutely turned his thoughts away from that feeling and focused on Hermione.

"Where is Madam Pomfrey now?" Hermione looked at him with narrowed eyes as if she knew what he was thinking.

"She's around," she answered vaguely. Harry grinned a little.

"Could you get her so she can check on me so I can go and have a shower before I change?" Harry asked politely. Hermione sighed and nodded, placing the clothes in Harry's lap before leaving, returning a moment later with the medi-witch, who checked him over with numerous spells.

"You are fit to leave, Mr. Potter," she said. He was actually surprised, but he didn't argue and quickly got out of bed, thanking her and telling Hermione he'd be back to see Ron later.

As he left the common room he wondered why none of the other students were about. He didn't even know what time it was and Snape had his wand. He, on the other hand, had Snape's robe, which was really long and difficult to walk in. He managed to get to the dorm and into the bathroom without tripping once. It took five minutes at least to undo all the buttons. Harry let the robe fall to the floor as his gaze was drawn to the mirror. He certainly didn't look any different. The bruise on his stomach was almost unnoticeable. Harry couldn't help but feel that he should look different. He should feel different too, but he didn't… not really… Wasn't that strange? Instead he was just...

Empty.

Stepping into the shower, he let the water run first as cold as he could stand it and then burning hot. Once more he refused to let his mind wander. If he started thinking he knew he would go mad. His strength of will was the only thing holding him together at this point. He scrubbed unconsciously hard with the soap and got every inch of skin clean. Once dried off he dressed and picked up the black robe. Should he return it? The action would only remind both of them. The Slytherin probably had thousands just like it. He folded it neatly and put it in his trunk for now.

Taking deep breaths he made his way back down, again wondering where everybody else had gone. He reached the Hospital Wing and suddenly couldn't find it in himself to go in. Ron was there, waiting. What would they say to each other? There was nothing to say, Harry insisted, and so there was no reason for him to enter. Ron was fine, anyway. He probably wanted to rest and not be bothered. Harry was just about to turn and leave when McGonagall came up the stairs and spotted him. She gave him a look that was much less stern than usual, closer to sympathy than the woman had ever shown him, and for some reason this made Harry feel much worse than any stern word from her had done in the past.

"Dumbledore wishes to see you in his office. At the moment he is explaining things to the other students in the Great Hall. He will follow you up after that." Harry nodded and McGonagall disappeared into the Hospital Wing. Harry started making his way to the gargoyle, his thoughts on what exactly Dumbledore was explaining. They probably couldn't keep the attack secret. Much as Harry hated it, the parents had the right to take their children out of school if they no longer thought it safe. He approached the statue with mounting dread. He was definitely expecting the inquisition.

After letting the gargoyle carry him up the door opened on its own and Harry sat in his now usual chair, feeling uncomfortable in the silence. He was grateful the portraits were asleep. Well, he hoped they were. Harry didn't know how long he sat there. Finally the door opened again and Dumbledore and Snape stepped through. Harry's stomach lurched. He really didn't want to go into detail. What really made his stomach feel like it was boiling in its own acids was the thought of what Snape had reported.

"Your wand," Snape said suddenly, producing said wand from the folds of a robe almost exactly like the one he had yesterday. Harry blinked and accepted it.

"Thanks," he said. Snape nodded once.

"Harry, we need to talk about many things. First of all we need to go through the events of last night," Dumbledore drew his attention. Harry swallowed and nodded. Dumbledore dived right into the events of the battle and Harry was glad to hear how well the students in the DA had held their own. It was actually quite the miracle no one died… aside from Nott. Dumbledore questioned Harry about the boy, but he hadn't seen the young Slytherin. .

Snape put in his story, mostly of how he had managed to fake-battle with many students, and his accidental sting to Harry's leg. Then how he had led the retreat. Back at headquarters he had listen to Voldermort rant for a while, so blind in his rage he didn't even seem to know which Death Eaters where there. Snape had heard him boasting about how Lucius was having fun with Harry that very moment. Snape believed Voldemort was trying to appear powerful to his followers by pretending not to care about Harry. It would not do to be seen to be so obsessed with a boy. At first opportunity, Snape had sneaked off to the dungeons.

Harry felt his heart quicken, but then Dumbledore asked Harry to explain how he had been caught. He didn't sound angry, but Harry felt he could hear some… disappointment and it burned him.

"I was by you and Professor Snape… then he accidentally hit me with a cutting curse, but it only grazed my leg. When I got up Dr- Malfoy was there, but I didn't have time to do anything because I got a message that Ron needed me by the entrance. When I got there Ron was bleeding, or it looked like he was bleeding. He asked for his wand and then we grabbed it at the same time… it was Lucius polyjuiced and the wand was really a portkey." Harry finished his story very quietly, hoping with all his heart Dumbledore wouldn't want to go into his torture.

"Well, I am glad that so few were hurt and that Severus was quick enough to save you." Harry gazed at his hands, feeling horrible about everything.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Don't blame yourself, my boy," Dumbledore said kindly.

"Why not? It's my fault," Harry said, a bit of anger suddenly in his voice. He quickly tried to calm himself down. This was no time for his famous temper. "I should have been more careful. Ron got hurt. Snape lost his spy status… we may have won the battle, no thanks to me, but we lost something very valuable as well."

"What happened cannot be helped. Blaming yourself won't help either," Dumbledore said and Harry felt slightly better at the words. "Severus, did you see young Malfoy after you retreated?" Harry's ears perked up and he held his breath, but he kept his eyes down in case they betrayed him.

"I left before the Dark Lord started torturing his followers for disobedience, but I know Malfoy was among the Death Eaters. He doesn't have the mark yet, but I do not doubt the Dark Lord will still punish him... I could not help him under the circumstances." Dumbledore sighed sadly.

"I truly believed young Malfoy would not go through with his plan."

"What exactly was that plan?" Harry said, realising he still didn't know how the Death Eaters entered the school. Dumbledore briefly explained about the vanishing cabinets. Harry nodded dumbly several times. Draco had repaired it through the course of the year, yet Harry had ignored his strange behaviour at every turn. "Did the DA members stationed at the Room see him?" Harry asked.

"No, they did not. Which is odd," Dumbledore mused aloud. "I admit I was not looking at the map at the time, which was a mistake on my part. I questioned the DA members and they said the door appeared, opened slightly and then closed. They could not get it open themselves…" Harry thought hard, but was unable to come up with a solution. There were probably many things, he mused, about the battle that he would never hear the full explanation of.

Harry listened with narrowed eyes as Dumbledore explained how the Dementors had turned on the Aurors and that was how Lucius had escaped from Azkaban. It had happened earlier in the day before the battle. Dumbledore hadn't informed Harry as they had had enough to worry about. Good thing Voldermort didn't want to use them in battle with his Death Eaters. Harry could imagine some of them had some pretty horrible memories to relive. Few could probably remain upright in their presence, Harry hoped.

Snape excused himself abruptly and Harry was confused at the man's sudden departure, but then Dumbledore turned the conversation over the "other plans" he had had for last night. Harry listened intently as Dumbledore told him he knew where a horcrux was hidden. In a cave apparently. Dumbledore explained that he had changed his mind about when they would be going. Voldermort didn't know they knew about them. Snape didn't even know about them. Dumbledore decided they should wait for school to finish, which was only a week away, Harry realised rather shockingly.

As for summer Harry would not be going back to the Dursleys, much to Harry's relief and joy. They needed to get to work on the horcruxes immediately and Harry would be better equipped if they all stayed at Grimmauld Place. Dumbledore insisted, however, that Harry take some time there to rest and get used to living there... whatever that meant.

Harry was finally released, very grateful no more details about Lucius had been brought up. Harry felt like he should thank Snape, but didn't want to bring it up. He owed the man much more than his life. He had cost the man much as well.

He dragged his feet up to Gryffindor Tower, ignoring everyone who questioned him along the way. Luckily the sixth year dorm was empty; everybody else was probably still in the Hospital Wing. He slumped down on his bed and put up the most powerful privacy wards and silencing charms he knew. Then he curled up into a foetal position.

His throat burned, yet still he resisted his tears.

He felt as if he had been holding in vomit instead of tears ever since Snape had told him about Draco. His boyfriend had betrayed him. He was off somewhere with Voldermort at that very moment. Despite the betrayal, the people who had been hurt because of it, all Harry could think of was Draco getting tortured by the bastard. He knew the Dark Lord didn't spare his followers.

Finally, the sobs came, muffled at first, then louder. He sobbed harder as he thought of all the times he could have tried harder to save Draco from his fate. Would he ever see him again? On a battlefield perhaps? Snape had told him not to lose hope, though. What did that mean? Harry didn't want to think anymore. About anything. So he pictured a blank white wall…

He woke up an hour later, screaming and soaked in sweat.

Harry took panting breaths and tried to calm down his heart. Draco's blood everywhere on the previously white wall. For a horrifying moment he thought the dream had been a vision, but he dismissed it. He was pretty sure he could tell the difference now. _'Draco's gone. He's gone. Gone. Gone.'_ Harry squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to cry more. He didn't think he'd cried so much in his entire life.

Suddenly the image of Lucius, appraising him with that ugly smirk and roaming eyes flashed before him. He shuddered violently. He shook his head to try and dispel the image. How many issues could one boy have, he wondered. Maybe one day he would just explode from it all. That was really what he wanted his head to do. Or implode. Either way, he wanted all conscious thought gone. The only problem was that the nightmares would come.

He hadn't taken his clothes off before falling asleep, he realised. He hoped it was morning. He removed the spells on his bed and got out.

He froze.

Ron was sitting on his own bed, looking much better than the last time Harry had seen him. Hopefully they hadn't hurt him more than they had Harry. Ron glanced up when Harry appeared, but his eyes quickly went back to studying the sheets. Harry resisted the urge to groan. Would things ever be the same between them? Ron had probably been more traumatized by the events, Harry thought sarcastically and a little resentfully.

"I'm sorry," Ron mumbled and Harry's eyes went wide. _This is Not. Fucking. Happening!_ Harry stood frozen by his bed, staring at Ron, praying to all the gods in the heavens that he had misheard his friend. What if Ron had told Hermione? The thought made him make a quick exhale of breath in frustration. Ron looked up again. "I should have been paying more attention to everything around me. One second I was duelling with some masked bastard… the next I was bound and being carried away…" Harry took a deep breath and nodded. Not as bad as he thought then.

"It's fine, Ron. Not your fault. I got caught too. I should have realised something wasn't right." Ron nodded, but he still looked guilty. He looked down at the bed again.

"Do you want… to talk?"

"No," Harry said at once. Again Ron nodded. He stood and came towards Harry, holding out his hand. Harry eyed it suspiciously, but took it nonetheless. Ron shook it firmly and then pulled a shocked Harry into a friendly hug.

"If you ever need to, I'm here. Just thought you should know." And with that Ron let go, grinned a rather forced grin and left with a "see you later." Harry stood stunned for a few moments. The hug had left him feeling rather… empty. Well, more empty that usual. The offer of comfort had surprised him. He didn't see how it would help either of them. He and Ron were best friends, but they didn't exactly cry on each other's shoulders.

Going into the bathroom Harry stared at his reflection a long time. He found his hands going up to his neck, something he had been forcing himself not to do since yesterday. After the dream, though, he needed to see it. Taking out his wand he tapped it lightly to his neck and the glamour hiding the necklace faded. He fiddled with the dragon a bit, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach. He sighed and spelled it invisible again, forcing himself not to think about _him_, about anything. That really was the best tactic, surely?

He went down to the common room and found Ron with Hermione. They went to the Room of Requirement to discuss horcruxes and what Dumbledore had told him. He was glad Ron was making a real effort. He had obviously not told Hermione anything regarding Harry's torture. Maybe things would go back to normal… or maybe not.

XXX

"NO! Absolutely not, Albus! I refuse!" Snape spat. He glared at the Headmaster who sat calmly behind his 'Desk of Righteousness', as Snape referred to it. It always made him feel small, though he never admitted it to anyone, and reminded him too much of his student days. He crossed his arms over his chest and forced all his power into his glare. Unfortunately the old man had been immune to it for some time… in fact he had always been immune to it, something that was one of the Great Irritations of Snape's life. The others were Voldermort, Gryffindors and a certain raven-haired Gryffindor… though the last one was up for review.

"Severus, please-"

"No! It is the most absurd, horrible, and insane, not to mention down right cruel idea you have ever had! And THAT is saying a lot!" Dumbledore sighed tiredly. The man did look older lately, but Snape pushed such idiotic thoughts aside. The man was the most powerful wizard alive. He would perhaps suggest completely ridiculous things at times, but the man wasn't evil enough to leave Snape alone before everything was said and done.

"You know it is the best solution. You will be close to Harry, perhaps even teach him a few things, and you will be _safe._" Safe from what? Death? Snape inwardly snorted. He was fully aware he would not last long. His spy status was blown. Voldemort was probably after him almost as much as Potter, possibly even more.

"I don't intend to hide while the rest of you are out fighting," he said flatly.

"You will be fighting, in your own way. We need a Potions Master, Severus. The best one." _'Flattery will only get you further away from your goal, old man._ "I promise you that when the final battle comes you will be there, but for now you are too valuable to our side." Merlin, Snape hated it when the man talked to him like that. As if he could be persuaded like some naïve young Gryffindor! Nonsense.

Two Slytherin traits were conflicting with each other within Snape at that moment. One was his self-preservation - which he had, though perhaps less so now than most Slytherins considering he had accepted his fate long ago - and his pride, which was always very strong. The latter won out and he stood, trying to tower over the man behind his damn gigantic desk. Even old and a little feeble, Dumbledore managed to look exactly the same from this view. It made Snape even angrier.

"You cannot force me into hiding, Albus! I will not let you lock me up in that house like some… some-"

"Dog?" Dumbledore supplied, his eyes sad. Snape's mouth dropped open and he visibly deflated. He sat down, slumping more than he ever had in his life. That was the gist of it, wasn't it? He would be in that house. In that godforsaken, ghastly house. He would be unable to leave, to do anything… trapped and utterly, completely _useless_. Just like a certain mangy black-

"You cannot ask me to live there, Albus," Snape said, his voice calmer, though more desperate, effectively cutting off his own thoughts.

"I am afraid I must ask, Severus, I must." Snape hated how the man looked at him then, eyes full of _sympathy_ or some other pathetic emotion Snape had a natural dislike of. And yet he knew he could not deny the man anything. It was a power the Headmaster had held over him since he had come back to Hogwarts all those years ago when he had realised what he had done. Snape hated it, but could not fight it. Stupid damn desk and those spectacles! They were in cahoots; he knew it, making the otherwise silly man look so disgustingly wise.

"Fine. I will sentence myself to this prison indefinitely at your request," Snape said, a clear line of sarcasm lacing his tone. Dumbledore smiled, the bastard.

"Thank you." Snape didn't even bother acknowledging him. He rose and swept out of the office. He wanted to punch the gargoyle's face in, but thought that might prove to be a bit painful. As Snape reached the dungeons he suddenly stopped, breathing heavily and leaning again the wall with one arm. Merlin! He was going to be stuck there until the end of the war. Until his value had diminished enough for the them to let him die. Just like- No, mustn't think of him. But he couldn't _not_ think about him. Hadn't he spat it in Black's face? Twisted the knife even. Told him how useless he was hiding in that house. He groaned and covered his face with his other hand.

A thought occurred to him then. He could only hope that wherever Sirius Black was that he would see the irony of the situation. The man was probably laughing his arse off at Snape's expense, and strangely enough that made him feel slightly better.

At least he would be able to brew countless and invaluable potions there, which were most likely going to be needed. Yes, he seriously doubted the mutt had done _anything_ useful while at Grimmauld Place.

XXX

Harry and the other DA members were excused from classes for a few days. Nobody knew of their role in the battle, as it would cause way too many problems if people found out the Headmaster had _let_ them join in the fighting.

Harry had never been a good sleeper, but now he barely slept a wink. Still he managed to keep functioning as he rested in bed as much as he could, his eyes open and staring at the canopy most of the time, but it was still rest. His brain, however, never rested. It was constantly alert, constantly focusing his thoughts on mundane things lest he lose his mind entirely.

Finally, the end of the school year came. Harry wasn't exactly looking forward to staying at Grimmauld Place, especially as he was going to be staying there alone with none other than Snape for the first few days. Harry wasn't sure, but he suspected Dumbledore had something to do with it. The Weasleys weren't coming for a week. The problem was Harry had no desire to bond with Snape, or whatever the Headmaster hoped to accomplish, because whenever Harry looked at Snape all he could see was that damned black robe with all the buttons, and it reminded him of the one still in his trunk.

Ron still didn't act completely normal around him, and for the last few days of school Hermione started sending him sympathetic looks, which made him start to panic. On one of those occasions he snapped at her. They were in the common room. It was pretty late so no one else was about.

"What? Why do you keep looking at me like that?" he demanded, glancing with narrowed eyes at Ron, who squirmed back in his seat. Harry's heart started beating faster.

"Oh, Harry… I'm so sorry. You've been looking so utterly depressed lately and I had to know why. I only want to help," she said pleadingly.

"What are you taking about?" Harry looked from one to the other.

"I just… we're sorry about Nott, Harry, I mean Theodore."

_Oh._ Ron thought- he had heart Harry tell Lucius Malfoy.

Ron shouldn't have told her about that, but it was better than if he had told her... other things. Harry blinked and then suddenly looked down at his hands sheepishly.

"Eh, Hermione… Nott was never my boyfriend."

"What?" Ron and Hermione exclaimed at the same time.

"I just said the first name that came to mind." Which was sort of the truth. "I'm sorry he's dead, but he wasn't my boyfriend." Harry waited for Hermione to start yelling at him for lying, but instead she moved to sit beside him on the couch and embraced him in a warm hug.

"Oh, thank Merlin, Harry. It's horrible that he died, but I'm so glad that- well, I'm glad you didn't lose someone who was close to you." The '_again_' was left unspoken. Hermione pulled away and smiled kindly at him. He tried to smile back, but it didn't reach his eyes. He _had_ lost someone close to him. His boyfriend could have just as well been Nott for all the good being alive did his real boyfriend.

Harry still noticed they tended to tiptoe around him. Although he had been grateful for the kind version of Snape after the incident, he dreaded to encounter a kind Snape at Grimmauld Place. It would only be a painful reminder of how much things had changed.


	10. Chapter 10

Note: Yes, amazingly I managed to edit another chapter of this. There's not much difference from the original, but at least those who haven't read it get something! Enjoy.

_Chapter 10: Nightmares_

"Harry Potter, sir!" Dobby cried as he hurried over to where Harry was closing the door behind him, nearly tripping over himself in his exuberance. Harry was very grateful they weren't in the entrance hall as that would certainly have set off Mrs. Black. Harry smiled at the elf, though inwardly cringing at the high squeak. He had a headache.

"Hey, Dobby. Please don't call me sir. Just Harry, please?"

"Oh, Harry Potter is saying please to Dobby. Harry Potter is too kind." He sighed. He would never get his way with the elf, which was kind of ironic when you thought about it. He turned his attention to the kitchen. It was spotless of course. The whole house was looking better with Dobby volunteering his help. Harry hoped he didn't have to set eyes on Kreacher during his stay. Dumbledore hadn't even walked him in. It was his house now, but still, it felt.. empty having the Headmaster leave him on the steps outside. He still hadn't seen Snape around, but knew the man was there. "Can Dobby get anything for Harry Potter, sir?"

"No, that's all right. I'm not really that hungry. I'll just go upstairs and unpack, maybe go to bed early."

"Harry Potter is master of the house now. Dobby has put the master's things in the master bedroom." Harry paled considerably, but the elf didn't seem to notice. He was about to ask Dobby to put his trunk in the room he had shared with Ron when he heard a familiar voice from behind a door Harry had not noticed. He couldn't remember seeing it before. He realised the high cupboard that usually stood there had been moved to reveal it.

"Dobby!" The voice called. The elf squeaked enthusiastically and disappeared with a pop. Harry heard him reappear inside the room and a following conversation. "I need all these boxes disposed of… the attic would be best for now. These are to be unpacked and put on the shelves instead. Do not break anything."

"Yes, Professor Snape, sir, Dobby is very careful. Sir wanted to know when Harry Potter arrived?"

"Yes, is he here?"

"Yes, sir." Harry didn't hear anything more except for Dobby popping away again, presumably to place boxes in the attic. Harry correctly assumed Snape was turning the rest of the basement into a potions lab. He was just about to turn around and go up to bed when the door all but slammed open and the Potions Master himself strode in, a rather nasty look on his face.

"Potter," he said in greeting, sounding utterly and completely as nasty as he looked. Harry blinked at him and then almost visibly sighed in relief. The git was still a git!

"Professor," Harry acknowledged with a nod. He was glad to have the greasy git back, but that didn't mean he wanted to antagonize him… yet. He still had to live with the bastard.

"I want to make a few things clear." Harry narrowed his eyes slightly, but nodded nonetheless, curious as to what the man had to say. "I have been..." he paused to find the right word. "Persuaded to stay here and make sure you don't get into more trouble than you're worth, as well as training you. To make my stay tolerable I have taken the liberty of arranging a potions lab for myself. I expect you to stay out of it. I also expect you to behave properly and stay away from me as much as possible. Otherwise I will simply leave and let you get yourself into trouble. Do I make myself clear?"

Harry studied the man. Ever since he had learned they would be living together he had thought a lot about how that would work. He knew Snape was being practically forced to hide here by Dumbledore. He also realised the irony of that predicament. Perhaps in another reality he might not have felt sorry for the man. He deserved it for what he had said to Sirius, but it was Harry's fault he was here. But that didn't mean he was going to let the man take out his own frustration on Harry. He had enough to deal with.

"This is my house now, Snape," he said, staring intently at the man, but he didn't show any defiance in his eyes. He was merely stating a fact. "I will allow your little potions lab because it'll keep you out of my hair as much as possible. As for the rest: I'll behave however I like. If you want us to stay apart I suggest _you_ stay away from _me_. You are perfectly welcome to leave whenever you wish." He watched as Snape bristled, but managed to gain control over himself. He kept his voice low and calm.

"And the training?"

"Let's call it compensation for the lab," Harry said with a slight smirk. He knew it was unfair to tease the man about his current status, as it was all Harry's fault, but he was extremely please to have avoided being shouted at in his own house. His house? He blinked. Yes, it was. Without so much as a nod in Snape's direction he turned and climbed the many stairs, stopping on the fourth floor to check on Mrs. Black's old bedroom. Buckbeak wasn't there and the whole room was completely empty.

Harry had never been to the fifth floor. He had assumed Sirius slept up there. Now he ascended the stairs with heavy feet. He found the bedroom, the only door beside what he assumed to be the attic, which was larger than the others. It was furnished with a big bed with very dark purple colours. He noted his trunk stood in front of the bed. Hedwig's empty cage was in a corner, along with his broom. Hopefully there were lots of mice in the garden. There was an old desk made of dark wood in front of the window with beautiful carvings on. A large dresser with similar carvings stood between the desk and bed against the wall. At the other end of the room was a beautiful fireplace, though smaller than the others in the house. A table, chair and small couch stood in front of it, all old and ornate looking with dark colours, but they seemed comfortable. Harry would perhaps have thought it depressing, but after a while he decided he liked the feel of it. It was warm and private and the dark colours weren't that gloomy with the light streaming through the window. He checked the adjourning bathroom and found it much better than the other bathrooms in the house.

He threw himself on the bed and sighed. It was comfortable. He wondered if Sirius had slept well in it. The rooms had obviously been cleaned out first, as there wasn't a trace of any Dark Arts at all. And even more importantly: No portraits, just one landscape painting of the English countryside and a mirror over the mantel.

If Snape managed not to provoke him too much things might actually not be so bad. Dobby was cleaning up the house faster than they ever had and Harry's room was a good deal better than at the Dursley's. Yes, Harry decided anything was better than that… maybe he spoke to soon.

He actually drifted off to sleep, something he regretted around midnight when he woke up he was tangled in the sheets and soaked in sweat. He calmed himself with deep breaths. He thought he managed it rather quickly- perhaps he was getting used to the nightmares. It wasn't like he had never had a nightmare before, though these were of a different... calibre. He got up and went to the bathroom, splashing some cold water on his face. When he came back to the bedroom he sat at the desk, looking out the window. The moon was out, but luckily it wasn't full. Harry always hated being awake for the full moon. He always thought about the last Marauder.

Sighing he decided he needed something to do to keep his mind as blank as possible. It was something he had become very good at. Looking around the room he spotted his trunk and decided to unpack like he had originally planned. He went over and kneeled in front of the trunk, opening it with one hand while lighting his wand with the other.

The trunk was a complete mess as usual. Magic made it slightly larger inside than out and all of Harry's schoolbooks, clothes and personal items were inside. He rummaged through it and put the clothes in one pile to put in the dresser. He decided to keep the books in the trunk. He took the inkbottles, quills and parchments out to put away in the desk.

That was when his heart stopped.

One piece of parchment was smaller and well-used looking, though it was not written upon. Harry picked it up and his heart went from a stand-still to a mile a second. Grabbing ink and a quill he dazedly rose and dropped down in the chair by the desk, still staring at the parchment. He carefully put it down on the desk and put his wand behind his ear so he could see clearly. He quickly got his quill in some ink and then stopped short just as it was poised over the parchment.

He got the distinct feeling of déjà vu, only in place of a mirror there was a piece of paper. Sirius had never answered, and Harry didn't think it would work this time either. He didn't know how far away Draco was, or if the parchment could even work over such long distances. Hell, he didn't even really know if Draco was alive. And if he wrote something, what would he write? _'Hi, there. I know you're a Death Eater now and are probably busy thinking up new ways to torture me and my friends, but I just wanted to say hello.'_ Harry sighed. This was pointless. Then Snape's voice was right by his ear, but the man wasn't in the room. He was in Harry's mind, telling him to not lose hope. Steeling himself he let the quill flow across the page, the one word containing all his hope written out slowly in what felt like an eternity.

'_Draco.'_ Harry sat back and simply stared at the paper and the one word. The bright light from the wand and the darkness of the room was making his eyes water. At least that was what he concluded, but as the minutes rolled by and Harry saw himself screaming his godfather's name at his reflection the tears came and flowed silently. A brief thought flickered through his mind that it was unlikely Draco had had the parchment with him when he left, not to mention the fact that it was midnight and he was most likely asleep. Harry doubted he would have been able to sleep wherever Draco was. He turned his head away and stared at the cold fireplace, wondering if he should light it, just to have something to look at. He didn't know how long he sat there, but in the end he got up and fell onto the bed again, his face still wet with tears.

XXX

"You are not concentrating, Potter. It is a wonder you are with us at all. How you even managed an OWL in Defence is a miracle," Snape drawled as Harry kneeled panting on the floor. They were in Buckbeak's empty room for training. Snape seemed to be taking his frustration at being locked up out on Harry. He was being absolutely merciless in his training and Harry found himself looking back on their Occlumency lessons with longing. Harry rose and glared at Snape, who simply raised an infuriating eyebrow at him, waiting for the comeback.

"I'll have you know Defence is one of the few things I'm really good at!" Harry cried indignantly before widening his eyes when Snape smirked.

"One of the few things I'm sure…" Snape trailed off as Harry opened his mouth to retort. He really wasn't good at verbal sparring right after duelling, especially when he was angry as well. He sighed and rolled his eyes when Snape looked decidedly smug. He was too tired to fight. A lack of appetite, sleep and having to constantly to stay alert to watch his thoughts was draining him. Snape narrowed his eyes at him. "You haven't been eating well."

"Excuse me?" Harry said, raising both eyebrows. The pair never ate a meal together if they could avoid it. It had only been two days, but it had worked well enough so far. Snape spent almost the entire day in the potions lab, except for when Dumbledore visited the other day, and now when he insisted Harry start with training.

"Dobby has informed me. You also haven't been sleeping properly."

"You're not my guardian Snape. You're barely my guest, so I suggest you mind your own business," Harry snapped. He began stalking to the door, his hand was on the doorknob when Snape spoke.

"If you cannot take care of yourself someone else has to. In case you haven't noticed, you have something very important to do that you need your strength for," Snape said, sarcasm dripping like venom. Harry spun around and met the man's glare with his own.

"I bloody well know exactly what I have to do! You don't know a thing about me! Stay away from me Snape."

"I may be your reluctant houseguest, Potter, but do not presume to tell me what to do, and do not use such language. We may need you to save the world, but you need me to get you ready."

"You know what? Fuck you! I'll watch my language when you start acting like a decent person! Just because you're frustrated as hell because you're stuck here doesn't mean you get to take it out on me!"

"Potter," Snape said warningly. "If you ever say something like that to me again I will let my resolve crumble and, prophecy be damned, I'll hex you into oblivion myself!" Harry was about to throw back something when he suddenly remembered why Snape was here. He was stuck with his most hated student because of Harry's stupidity alone. Maybe he deserved it all? Whatever went through Harry's mind must have shown on his face because Snape softened slightly.

"Whatever, I'm going to bed," Harry said, opening the door.

"Eat first," Snape said firmly, but not as sternly as before. Harry looked back at him. "And… if you have nightmares every night it could be beneficial to talk to someone." Harry's eyes widened.

"Fine," he said, though it was far from fine, and left in a hurry. He did let Dobby bring him some sandwiches when he saw him in the hallway. Dobby popped away to make them while Harry went up to his room. He was actually glad Snape was still the person he had grown to hate. Nothing was different. The kind Snape from that fateful night had never reappeared… sometimes Harry wondered where he had gone, but the thought was quickly pushed away.

As always, the first thing he did when he came upstairs was to walk over to the desk and check the parchment. It had become a habit already and he was already used to there being only the one word to look for. He nearly tripped over himself when he saw that another word had been added just below Draco's name. The script was unmistakable.

'_Harry.'_

Harry stared at the name, his own, written in Draco's fine, albeit slightly shaky, handwriting. His mouth was hanging slightly open in shock. He felt dizzy so he slumped down in the chair. With trembling hands he reached for the quill and inkbottle. Just as he had gotten it open a pop was heard.

"Sir, Harry Potter's sandwiches!" Dobby cried enthusiastically. Harry was startled and dropped the inkbottle on the floor, spilling the ink onto the lush carpet. He cursed under his breath for being so on edge. The house-elf apologized profusely and tried to clean it up. It took Harry ten minutes to convince Dobby he could do it himself and he just wanted to be alone and he promised to eat. Finally he was alone again. He cleaned the carpet with a spell and once again took his quill in hand. Luckily there was still ink left. His handwriting was far from steady.

'_Are you there?'_ Harry couldn't think of what else to write. He held his breath for a long time.

XXX

XXX_Draco's POV from _that_ night_XXX

Death Eaters. Death Eaters in the school! But how? Surely the gates themselves had not been breached? Draco set off at a run. Everybody was so caught up with their own duels no one even saw him. He came to an abrupt halt as he came to the corridor where the gargoyle to the Headmaster's office stood. He didn't have time to remain still, though, as a curse accidentally flew his way and he had to dive to the side. He scrambled to his feet and looked about. What the hell was going on?

Deciding to go to the only place where the source of the problem could be, he turned and sprinted to the Room of Requirement. The fighting was even fiercer there, but he could clearly see that the room was indeed open. But how? The cabinet wasn't even finished! He spun on his heel and decided he needed to be… somewhere. If he could only think straight. _Harry_! He scanned the people fighting and could find no sign of him. He ran back in the direction of Dumbledore. He needed to find Harry and explain. Explain what he wasn't sure, only that he didn't know what the hell was going on, much less _how_ they got here.

He stopped abruptly and dived through a secret passageway he knew would lead him downwards. He did not want to get involved in the fighting. Which side would he fight on? He had so idea. Well, maybe some idea, but he didn't really want to put the idea into practice. Coming out of at the other end he realised he was at the top of a set of stairs. This wasn't where the passageway was supposed to lead, he frowned. Then again the blasted castle had a way of leading you where it wanted you to go.

"Malfoy!" Nott came running up the stairs. He stopped at the top and glared at Draco, who had been about to walk the other way. Draco turned now and glared back. Everything became clear. It was Nott. Everything was his fault. He had been spying on him! Draco had even run into him on the seventh floor right by the room! He had been so _stupid_ not to see it before.

"Nott!" He quickly and as surreptitiously as possible got his wand in hand. Nott already had his by his side. "How did you find out? How did you fix the cabinet?" he demanded. Nott sneered at him.

"Wouldn't you like to know? You think you're so smart, Malfoy. You were given a chance to serve the Dark Lord! And all year you worked only to throw it all away and abandon it. Well, I fixed it, and after I dispose of you I will take the credit alone. You are a disgrace to your heritage, Malfoy!" Draco didn't wait for the boy to finish his rant. People who went evil had a tendency to rant a lot. They always got caught up with explaining their evilness. Draco raised his wand-hand with seeker reflexes. Nott followed suit, though at a slower pace.

"Stupefy!" Draco yelled. The red blast left his wand just as a dark curse left Nott's. Draco threw himself out of the way and watched as Nott failed to do the same with his spell. The red light hit the boy in the chest and he stumbled back. Draco watched in horrified silence as everything slowed down. Nott's eyes closed with the spell and he went limp, falling backwards down the stairs. He disappeared from Draco's sight, but he still heard the sound of the body falling. There was a horrible crack, the sound of bone breaking against stone, and then everything went silent. He couldn't even hear the curses from the fighting.

He slowly got up, his legs a bit unsteady, and walked towards the top of the stairs. There at the bottom, already surrounded by a pool of his own blood, lay Nott. Draco had never liked the sight of blood, or pain. The hippogriff incident in third year hadn't been as much of an exaggeration as people supposed. He felt the bile rise up in his throat, but pushed it down. He wanted to run or at least look away, but he couldn't.

Dead. Nott was dead. Draco had killed him. By the angle of the head in relation to the body Draco didn't think even Pomfrey could save him. He had certainly lived up to his heritage now, huh?

A Death Eater. One that revels in death and kills both for the Dark Lord and for pleasure. He had done neither, but that didn't matter. He should have done something to save Nott. A quick wingardium leviosa would have stopped the body before-

Unable to hold it down any longer Draco bent down and retched, falling to his knees and clutching his stomach. He heaved until there was nothing left, then he shakily spelt the vomit away. He used the banister to help himself up and then managed to walk down the stairs. He passed the body, still unable to keep his eyes off it. Only when he was past it did he turn and run.

XXX

_Present day. _

'_Yes.'_ Draco answered and Harry's heart skipped a beat. He frantically grabbed the quill and wrote more.

'_Where are you? Are you safe? Are you all right?'_ Right then he didn't care anything about what had happened. All he wanted to know was if Draco was ok. Draco took a long time in answering.

'_I am safe. I cannot tell you where I am, as I am sure you cannot tell me where you are. Are you safe at least?'_ Harry breathed a sigh of relief.

'_Yes, I am safe. Snape is here too.'_ He knew Draco had some sort of relationship with Snape. They were closer than the average student and professor, so he thought Draco might like to know. Again it took a long time for Draco to answer. Harry wondered if it was because they were so far apart.

'_I never imagined he was the traitor.'_ Harry swallowed past a sudden lump in his throat. That was not what he had expected. Was Snape a traitor in Draco's eyes? Harry tried to calm himself. He couldn't afford to jump to any conclusions, but the betrayal made his eyes sting and his throat close up almost completely. He wanted to scream at the paper, but knew Draco couldn't hear him.

'_Why didn't you come to me?'_ Draco took so long in answering Harry thought he might not, but then:

'_I didn't dare risk it.'_ What did that mean? He didn't risk it because he had planned to betray Harry all along, or because he feared Voldermort would find out he had sought out help? No more subtlety or avoiding questions! Harry was not going back to that.

'_Are you loyal to Voldermort?'_

'_I am a Death Eater, Harry. I bare his mark.'_ Harry nearly screamed in frustration, a tear falling down his cheek.

'_That was not what I asked you! For fuck's sake, Draco! Just answer a question straight for once in your life! Why did you let the Death Eaters into the school? Why did you go with them? Why did you never tell me!'_

'_I have to go. Someone might see. Make sure to wipe the parchment clean.' _

'_No! Please, just answer me.' _

'_Goodbye, Harry.' _

'_But I love you!'_ For a long moment nothing happened, then Draco's handwriting vanished, indicating he had wiped his parchment clean. Harry did the same with his, knowing no one around Draco should see what he had written. He folded his arms on the desk and rested his head on them. A moment of silence passed and then he sobbed hard.

XXX

_Harry was in their room at Hogwarts. He was leaning against something. It was dark, much darker than they usually had it. Someone was behind him, he could feel it, hear their voice in his ear. _

"_Oh, yes, you like that, don't you?" Harry didn't really hear the unusual words coming from Draco. But he did notice when the room started to change. He realised the thing he was leaning on was a table. Harry tried to turn his head, but a hand grabbed him and pushed his face against the table. _

"_Draco, stop!" _

"_Role-playing, eh? I like that." Harry's face was wet with tears as he tried to free himself, but the body holding him in place had a grip like iron. "Merlin, Potter. How naïve can you get? Avada-"_

"_Wait a moment." Harry stared, confusion and fear flitting across his face as another blond aristocrat came into view. Draco looked a little annoyed at first, but greeted his father. Lucius smirked down at Harry with a familiar glint in his eyes. "I want a go first." Draco's smirk widened into a feral grin and then both Malfoys started laughing. Just as Lucius reached out for him, _Harry somehow pushed himself away with a jerk, landing on the floor beside his bed.

He lay there panting, staring up at the ceiling. He had always been prone to nightmares, even when they were just filled with a green light he didn't understand. Now he found himself preferring dreaming about Cedric or Sirius. It had taken a long time, with much help from Draco, but he had come to realise, most of the time at least, that those deaths weren't _all_ his fault. These new dreams he hated with a passion. He was a victim, utterly helpless in them, even more so than in the others. It didn't help that they tortured him with Draco's betrayal as well.

Draco. His heart ached like there was a permanent dagger imbedded in it. The blond had not contacted Harry with the parchment since the one time a few days ago. Harry wanted so desperately to believe that Draco had somehow been forced into everything. He kept reminding himself of Remus and Sirius. They had thought the worst of their best friend because of the evidence, but Harry didn't want to make the same mistake.

Finally getting up he decided to go downstairs and eat. He usually slept as late as the Potions Master "allowed" so he didn't have to eat with the man, but actually falling out of bed made him reluctant to get back in. He showered and dressed quickly, making sure to cast glamours over the bags under his eyes, which were growing more prominent with each passing day.

As Harry dragged his feet down the many steps he tried to lighten his spirits by focusing on the fact that the Weasleys would soon be moving in and he wouldn't be so alone with the git. He entered the kitchen only to have his mood squashed again as he saw said git sitting at the table, drinking tea and reading the paper. He glanced up as Harry came in, but his eyes returned immediately to the article he was reading. Harry made himself tea, thankful Dobby was busy with something, and grabbed an apple to eat. He didn't think he could stomach anything else. Ignoring Snape he slumped down into a chair.

"You're up early," Snape commented, not looking up. Harry eyed him for a moment, wondering what Snape wanted from him. An insult perhaps? Harry was too tired to provide.

"Couldn't sleep," Harry said, taking a bite out of the apple. Snape folder the paper neatly and put it aside. His eyes narrowed as he studied Harry carefully, making the Gryffindor slightly nervous. What now?

"And is this a common occurrence?" Snape asked, his voice calm, but with a hint of accusation in it. Harry swallowed and stared back. He had learned a thing or two about lying from Draco. Keeping eye contact was important.

"I'm not usually up this early am I?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, also from Draco. He would perhaps have laughed if he knew Snape was making that very comparison at that moment.

"Really? So the screams I hear when you're too tired to remember a silencing charm are just for fun?" Damn. Harry avoided Snape's gaze. He really didn't want to talk. He should have stayed in bed.

"I don't put up charms. I've only had a few nightmares. So what?" Suddenly Snape pulled his wand out, and before Harry had a chance to do anything he had waved it and removed the glamours easily. "Why'd you do that for!" Harry demanded as he sprang to his feet, glaring at his most hated teacher. The man had no right!

"You look like death," Snape stated, sneering slightly.

"You don't look so good yourself!" Harry retorted. Indeed, he was correct. Grimmauld Place was obviously affecting the Slytherin more than he cared to admit.

"This is not about me, it is about you and your ability to bottle everything up. A Gryffindor trait no doubt," Snape said mockingly, then his tone became stern. "You need help."

"You have no idea what I need. Stay away Snape-" Harry stopped abruptly, noticing Snape was staring at his neck. He realised with a start that the removal of the glamours had removed the spell on his neckless as well. He clutched at the dragon, willing away the tears of frustration that threatened to come. He did not want to have _that_ conversation with Snape. He continued as if he didn't care that Snape had seen it. "I let you beat the crap out of me during training, but the rest of the time you stay. Away. From. Me!"

With that Harry turned on his heel and marched out of the kitchen, putting up the spell on the necklace along the way. He reached the drawing room and glared at it as if it had been the one to offend him. How dare Snape suddenly start acting differently? Harry had a feeling the rows with the Slytherin was the only thing keeping him sane; keeping him from thinking about everything that did _not_ need thinking about! He didn't want to go back up to his room. The only thing he would find there was that damned blank parchment he wished he had never gotten!

"Child, your stubbornness will be the death of you." Harry spun around and set his glare on Snape again. Was the man unable to take a hint?

Snape stood in the doorway gazing at Harry. The boy was coming apart at the seams, which was completely understandable under the circumstances. Snape only wondered how the Gryffindor was still keeping it somewhat together. He hated being at Grimmauld Place with a passion. His potions kept him sane, however, and the lack of dunderheads to teach or Dark Lords to grovel at had made it… bearable.

Then there was Potter. Snape had over the short time alone with the boy come to the same conclusion he had shortly after the incident where he lost his spy status. Harry was not his father. Dumbledore had been right all along, as usual, the bastard, Snape would of course never forgive him for that. He was certain James Potter would not have held it together, would not have trained with such determination with his most hated professor. He had heard the screams, and cries, not only of Harry's own torture at the hands of Lucius, but for Sirius Black and that Diggory boy. Harry Potter was headstrong, loyal and brave. He had a natural ability to feel guilty about things not his fault, but he was not, as James Potter had undeniably been, arrogant.

Harry Potter had not preened and strutted around when he had gotten a spell right, but simply dusted himself off and told Snape to show him again so he could make sure it wasn't a fluke. He cursed and glared at the Potions Master on a daily basis, but he did not insult him without provocation, like James had on too numerous occasions to count. Even though Snape was technically a guest his Harry's house, the boy allowed Snape to insult him, seeming to revel in the arguments, instead of just kicking Snape out and tell him to fend for himself.

Now this boy, this child, was having some serious emotional problems, and Snape could probably guess every one. This child was expected to kill off the Dark Lord and yet Dumbledore had left him here with a man very much incapable of giving any form of comfort when he was clearly unstable! Snape sighed. He always did have to do everything himself, didn't he? How he hated this place, but he couldn't for the life of him hate Harry Potter anymore.

"Po-…" He sighed again. Harry was giving him an odd look. "Harry, you need to talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about," Harry said, shaking his head.

"Stop being so stubborn damn it! I hear you screaming his name, telling him to stop! I hear all their names! Black, Diggory, Draco, but most of all Lucius Malfoy!" Snape said harshly. "If you continue to avoid it then you will remain the victim forever. Is that what you want?"

"You don't know anything! Leave me alone!" Harry cried, turning away from Snape, willing the man far away. For a moment Snape thought he felt a strange breeze in the room, but he ignored it and strode forward, coming to a halt just behind Harry.

"I know more than you think," he said, making his voice calm again. Yelling at each other would not solve this. He willed away long forgotten memories and focused on the child before him. "You're letting him win by doing this. It's too much to keep inside you, especially considering… Draco." Harry's head snapped up, but he didn't turn around. Snape sighed and walked past Harry, dropping down on the couch. Having emotionally draining conversations was tiring work. Harry looked very uncertain now and he edged a little closer, eyeing the Slytherin on the couch.

"What about him?"

"He is my godson, Harry, and I am worried about him too." Harry's mouth fell open slightly in disbelief. "I had hoped his relationship with you would sway him to the right side, but unfortunately Voldermort threatened Draco's family, and it was obviously a hard choice for him to make." Snape looked away, staring sadly at the carpet, feeling the loss of his dragon all over again. Damn Lucius to hell. Harry took another step towards the couch.

"You knew? You knew we were… together?" Snape snorted. Typical Gryffindor.

"Of course I knew. I am a Slytherin and a spy, am I not?" Snape drawled, looking into Harry's eyes while raising an eyebrow, making Harry wonder if Snape hadn't been the one to teach Draco that particular expression.

"But... you didn't say anything. Didn't try to stop us. Why?" Snape rolled his eyes at the flabbergasted expression on the boy.

"Draco made a decision to be with you. _On his own._ I respected that, though I admit I wasn't pleased at first. I had hoped he wouldn't become a Death Eater with the Boy Who Lived as his boyfriend. No such luck, I'm afraid." Snape sighed again and looked away.

"You knew he was planning something?" Harry asked, his eyes narrowing dangerously, but Snape didn't see it as he turned his gaze to the empty fireplace.

"I knew he had been given a mission from the Dark Lord, but nothing else. I hoped Draco would go to you for help."

"But why didn't you tell Dumbledore? Why didn't any of you confront Draco about it!" Snape rose from the couch in one swift motion and glared down at Harry.

"Because I did not want him to share my fate anymore than I wanted him to share his father's!" Harry blinked. Snape waited impatiently for the slow Gryffindor mind to get it.

"You think Dumbledore would have used Draco as a spy?" he asked in disbelief.

"Of course he would! The more the merrier!" Snape said sarcastically. He sat down again heavily, wondering where the original topic of their conversation had disappeared to. Everything grew unnaturally quiet. Snape sat staring at the carpet, his mind going over all the times he could have confronted Draco himself, the guilt grew with each passing second. Little did he know Harry was thinking the exact same thing.

"I-… I failed him, didn't I?" Harry whispered. Snape looked up sharply and was shocked to see Harry staring off into space, his face wet with tears.

"We both did," Snape said, unable to deny what he was feeling himself. "We can only hope he somehow escapes. He is the best Slytherin I have taught. If anyone can get out, it is he." He saw Harry nod, but didn't think the boy heard him. "Harry," he said, gaining the boy's attention. "He should have come to you. It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry I said that. You didn't fail him. You stood by him even when you had your suspicions, which I'm sure you did. If you hadn't been with him this year, things might have gone even worse than they did." Harry stared at him with a blank expression. Snape opened his arms and beckoned the young man towards him. Harry came as if in a trance and Snape pulled the almost completely limp body onto his lap. He hugged the young man as best as he could. He wasn't proficient in hugging, but whatever he did Harry finally let go and sobbed.

Harry clung to Snape as if his life depended on it. There was something about crying for Draco with someone present that was liberating. The fact that Snape feared for Draco too meant more than Harry could understand at the moment. He cried and cried until he had no tears left, then he fell asleep in the Potions Master's arms. Dead to the world, Snape carried Harry up the stairs for some much needed sleep. They could take a break from training today. Harry obviously still had a lot of issues, but Snape was going to be there for him, listening and never judging again. He had failed with Draco. He had judged Harry for too long. He was not a man who made the same mistakes twice.


	11. Chapter 11

Note: I tried to publish this yesterday, but there was something wrong with FF. So I therefore give you two chapters in one day! The main edits here is in chapter 12 involving descriptions of Godric's Hollow, as I wrote the original before we knew how it looked. I kinda just pictured the film version since it's been awhile since I read the book. Also, I changed a few interactions with Snape. I think it works. Hope both new and old readers enjoy it!

_Chapter 11: The Cave_

"_Please stop."_

He was rocking back and forth, but he couldn't really feel anything. He knew what was happening, though. His hair was pulled all of a sudden and his head lifted up. He stared at the young blond standing in front of him, watching with eyes full of disgust and disappointment.

"NO!" Harry sat bolt upright in his bed, looking around frantically. He realised slowly that he was in his bed, in the middle of the day, with Severus Snape holding him tightly around his shoulders. The Potions Master was sitting on the bed beside him, just holding him steady. The scene from that morning suddenly came back to Harry with full force and he tried to get away from the man's grip, but Snape wasn't having it.

"Calm down, Harry, it was just a nightmare."

"Let me go," Harry said, almost whining.

"No, Harry, relax. Calm down. I know I am not the best for this, but please stop being so stubborn." Harry finally relented and slumped against the other man. He was too tired from his dream to care about embarrassment. Had he really cried like a child while sitting on his professor's lap? Strangely enough, when he thought about the scene again, he felt a calm settle over him. Snape knew. Snape cared for Draco and was worried about him like Harry.

"I'm sorry," he said, thinking he should apologise for him actions. The man had to be uncomfortable with Harry leaning against him. To his surprise Snape snorted softly.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, foolish child. Are you ready to tell me about the dream?" Harry stiffened immediately. "Harry, remember that I already know all that has happened to you. I know about Draco. I feel his absence as well."

"I- Oh, God," Harry moaned, closing his eyes and turning slightly so he could bury his face in Snape's chest like before. Snape didn't seem to mind and only tightened his grip around Harry to show everything was fine. He sighed when Harry didn't say anything more. He would have to try something.

"Harry, this may be hard to believe, especially considering your guilty nature, but what happened to you was not your fault, nor what happened to Ronald or myself. You did absolutely nothing wrong." Harry was unnaturally quiet, even his breathing seemed to have stopped.

"I know that," was the very soft reply.

"Are you sure?" Snape paused, choosing his words carefully. "What you did was very brave and commendable." Harry's head moved away from Snape's chest and green eyes gazed up at him questioningly.

"Brave? I- He- I-" Harry's voice, at first incredulous, quickly stuttered to a halt. He seemed unable to chose a pronoun.

"You managed to stay hidden despite your well-known urge to get involved, and you saved your friend from torture." Harry didn't say anything, but returned his head to Snape's chest. Snape wondered how he could feel so… at ease, normal even, with comforting a sixteen-year-old. He was actually hoping Harry would cry again. The boy looked better now, even after the nightmare, since the incident. His earlier crying had to have functioned as some sort of catharsis.

"Draco is always trying to kill me," Harry said softly, almost startling Snape. The man frowned before he realised Harry was talking about the nightmares. He had never believed in dream-premonitions. The subconscious during sleep was for Snape just a way to deal with the previous day. The images not messages, but simply things on your mind before you fell asleep. He did, however, believe in discussing dreams to get them out of your system. He waited for Harry to continue, but started rubbing his back to show he was listening. "I feel so horrible… I can't believe I would think he would hurt me… even if they are just dreams."

"That's what they are, Harry, just dreams. I don't think you really believe Draco wants to kill you."

"Malfoy is there too… sometimes it starts out with him and then he morphs into Draco, or the other way around. Other times Draco is calling out to me, asking me why I just left him. Then Malfoy comes and takes me away."

"I know I am repeating myself Harry, but you did not fail Draco. You cannot be responsible for everyone's actions. Draco chose not to confide in either of us. As for your dreams of him killing you… perhaps you are _afraid_ Draco never really cared for you, that he had planned to betray you from the start, but I do not believe so." Harry's muscles tensed.

"You… you don't?"

"No, Harry. Like I said this morning; it was a difficult choice to make, considering how Draco feels about family, but I do _not_ believe he ever meant to betray you in that way. That was not his mission, or he would have succeeded, do you not think so?" Harry reluctantly nodded his head, conceding that point. "I have watched you both for three years now and I know Draco cares for you as much as you do for him. He is probably feeling just as horrible as you are about the whole thing. I only hope he finds a way out and back here to us." He felt as well as hear Harry take a deep breath.

"Thank you."

"You are quite welcome." Harry slowly disentangled himself from Snape's grasp and sat back a little on the bed, looking at the man curiously.

"How come you're being so nice to me? What's changed?" Snape sighed and met the green eyes with his own, openly conveying his seriousness.

"A lot, Harry, a lot has changed, but most importantly my perception of you has changed. I know now you are not your father, and I am sorry it took me so long to realise it." Harry nodded slowly in understanding. "I would request that you don't put up silencing charms again, but instead allow me to come here, or you to me, so we can talk instead. Is that all right with you?" Harry understood Snape wasn't actually giving him a choice, but rather acknowledging that this was Harry's house and that he was almost an adult now. Harry found he wanted to crawl onto Snape's lap again. It was surprisingly comfortable. Hearing the man, famous for always speaking his mind bluntly, tell him he knew Draco cared for him, was very reassuring. Harry nodded again and they both stood up. Snape left Harry to get ready for training and Harry stole a glance at the parchment before he followed. Blank, of course. Snape being nice was practically a miracle. He couldn't expect more in one day.

XXX

The last few days alone with Snape at Grimmauld Place were some of the most surreal days in Harry's life. He was slowly starting to feel better and didn't have to concentrate on editing his thoughts. The simple presence of another while he cried had done wonders for him. Never would he have imagined the Potions Master had feelings, or had the ability to provide comfort. Whenever Harry had a nightmare Snape would come and sit by him, letting him talk about it quietly while he hugged him, or letting him rave and rant about the injustices of the past. Never judging, never acting differently outside these meetings. He could still be a right git during training, but that was fine with Harry.

Harry didn't tell Snape about the parchment. He couldn't for some reason. He kept it open on the desk and he still checked it every time he entered or left his room. Nothing appeared. In the end he couldn't stand it and placed the parchment in a drawer, feeling as if he was letting go of Draco, but unable to keep his hopes up every day only to stare at the blank paper every night. He did, however, still pull it out and check it before he went to bed.

In the end when the Weasleys' arrival came closer Harry was actually a bit sad. He had grown comfortable in the strange company that was Snape. On the day they were scheduled to arrive, however, Dumbledore appeared first. Dobby informed Harry and Snape, currently reading in the drawing room, that the Headmaster was on his way up. They both stood as the man entered. His face broke into a rather knowing smile at the scene.

"Harry, Severus, I take it you have both survived each other?" he asked, the twinkle in his eyes obvious. Harry smiled back and glanced at Snape, only to find the man barely containing his anger towards Dumbledore. Harry frowned. Did Snape blame Dumbledore for sending him here? Why should he when it was Harry's fault? And hadn't they gotten along?

"We've survived, sir," Harry said. Dumbledore nodded and they all sat down.

"Severus," the Headmaster said, turning his attention to the former spy, his face now serious. "I am afraid I must ask you to leave."

"Why?" Harry spoke up. "It's not as if he'll accidentally leak information to Voldermort now is it?"

"I know that, Harry," Dumbledore said. "But it is still necessary." Snape didn't say anything, but merely rose swiftly and left, his robes billowing rather ominously in his wake. Harry glanced after him, feeling strangely nervous without the calming presence he had come to rely on. "Harry," Dumbledore repeated, gaining the Gryffindor's attention. "I believe it is time." Harry frowned before realisation dawned. They were going after the horcrux. He asked just to be sure and Dumbledore nodded.

"Right now?"

"Yes, Harry. Do you still want to come?"

"Of course." Dumbledore nodded again, not at all surprised.

"Then I will meet you in the entrance hall." Harry was about to question him, but before he could the Headmaster rose and left the room. As Harry rose to go after him Snape came back and Harry was suddenly glad he had been given a moment. For all he knew they could die during their next adventure. Snape looked at him, his face clearly lined with irritation. Harry frowned. What on earth had he done wrong?

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked before he could stop himself. Snape frowned down at him.

"No, why would you think that?"

"Because you're angry. Do you still blame me and Dumbledore for getting you locked up here? I thought we… got along now." Harry found himself blushing and looking away, hating the fact that he was used to being more open with the man now. Snape looked like the old Potions Master at that moment, not Harry's confidant. He heard the man sigh and tentatively glanced at him.

"I am only angry with Dumbledore because he left you here with only me for company." Harry blinked. That didn't make any sense to him. "You obviously needed help, but I am afraid I'm not exactly qualified," Snape elaborated when Harry just stared at him blankly. Harry still didn't really understand since he'd never had someone just sit with him for hours without saying a word, not demanding anything in return. To him Snape was quite amazing. He wondered when he had begun to think like that, but there it was. Now that he looked closely at the man Harry also realised Snape was looking worried as well. He knew they were off to do something dangerous.

Trusting his instincts as he so often did Harry stepped closer to the tall man and hugged him tightly. Usually it was the other way around, but Harry didn't care. He buried his face in the man's chest and waited patiently for Snape to respond. It took a while, but soon long arms were hugging him tightly back. Harry smiled to himself. He felt himself soaking up not only the usual comfort, but some of Snape's strength as well.

"I'll be ok, Severus. And I think you're quite the expert when it comes to helping out troubled youths," Harry said playfully as he pulled away, trying for some humour. Snape rewarded him by snorting faintly, but he did seem less worried and not at all angry anymore. Harry grinned up at him.

"If you come back in one piece I will allow you to continue using my first name," Snape said dryly, causing Harry's grin to widen.

"Well, with an incentive like that…" Harry trailed off and gave Snape one last quick hug before running downstairs to meet Dumbledore, leaving Snape staring after him.

XXX

What the hell was taking them so long? Snape paced the drawing room. Dumbledore better not let anything happen to the brat. Snape had always allowed himself to care for Draco, his Slytherin dragon, because of his responsibility as a godfather, but never in a million years would he have imagined himself worrying over James Potter's son like this. If it had happened to anybody else he would have laughed.

The boy had been through so much and yet continued to accept the responsibility Dumbledore had no right to place on the small shoulders. Of course, Snape knew most of the prophecy and knew the Headmaster had little choice. That didn't mean he liked it, or approved. Harry's determination and acceptance of his fate reminded Snape, much as he was loathed to admit it, of himself when he had realised he needed to become a spy and would most likely have to sacrifice his life for his past transgressions.

As another hour passed Snape couldn't help his thoughts drifting to Draco as they so often did. He was extremely worried, and couldn't help but feel guilty. He had left his prized Slytherin in the clutches of Voldemort, but like Dumbledore he had needed to make sacrifices. Placing responsibility and an underserved fate on far too young shoulders; shoulders he had promised to protect.

Knowing it was futile to worry about both boys, Snape retired to his lab and made sure he had all manners of healing potions in case they came back in less that one piece- in which case he was going to kill Dumbledore himself.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, along with Ron and Ginny arrived. Hermione was delivered by Tonks not long after. When they heard that Harry was gone with Dumbledore no one wanted to leave or go to bed until he was home safe. They all sat drinking tea in the drawing room, except for Snape who remained in his potions lab. He left the door open, as well as the kitchen door. He didn't work, but paced, listening for sounds of the front door opening.

XXX

It was around midnight when Mrs. Black went off. Over the portraits screeching Snape heard the distinct sound of Harry calling for him.

"Snape! Sev'rus! We need help!" Snape hadn't run so fast since the last time a Potter caused him to run, only that time it had been in the other direction. He sprinted up the stairs. Mrs. Black was still shouting about blood traitors and mudbloods, but Snape couldn't hear her anymore. The scene left him deaf. Harry was looking like he had been through hell and back- with dirt and singed clothing- and the Headmaster actually looked like he had been through worse. The old man was leaning against the young Gryffindor, looking older than Snape had ever seen him. Harry was staring wide eyed at him, pleading for help. Suddenly Tonks and the elder Weasleys were coming down the stairs. The younger ones thankfully remained on the landing upstairs so they weren't in the way. Snape sprung into action.

"Arthur, shut that damn woman up. Tonks, floo to Hogwarts and get Poppy. Now!" The others didn't question him and jumped into action as well. Snape went to the other side of Dumbledore, taking the thin arm and draping it over his shoulder. Somehow he knew Dumbledore wouldn't want Snape to levitate him when he was still conscious.

"Severus, my boy, no need to make such fuss over me," the Headmaster said. Snape ignored him. He and Harry helped the old wizard up the stairs and into the nearest bedroom. When Dumbledore was laid down Snape stared down at him and felt fear grip his heart. He looked to his left and saw Harry with fear in his eyes as well. The Gryffindor looked up at him abruptly.

"Are you all right?" Snape asked. Harry nodded. Snape mimicked the motion.

"I need to speak with Harry, Severus." Snape looked back down at the man he considered his mentor of sorts. The man who had given him a chance to redeem himself. It took a few seconds before he understood the question. He nodded again dumbly.

When the door shut behind him he leaned against it. What the hell had those two been up to? He quickly ran downstairs to find out why Poppy wasn't arriving yet.

(AN: The Cave is the same as in HBP, except of course for the fact that they go back to Grimmauld Place instead of Hogwarts.)

XXX

Harry stared down at Dumbledore. He couldn't believe how frail the man looked.

"Harry," Dumbledore began, his voice hoarse. It sounded to unlike the usual merry tone. It was grave and weak, making Harry shiver. "I need to tell you a few things while I can." Harry heard the words, but he didn't understand them. Poppy would be here any second and fix him.

"Poppy will be here soon. She'll heal you," he said, nodding for emphasis.

"Please, Harry, call me Albus. I do not wish to be addressed so formally on my death bed."

"No! I mean- You'll be alright," Harry stuttered. The man was simply a little tired and didn't understand the situation. He couldn't die! It was impossible.

"I am old, my boy, older than expected. Now, listen," the old man said firmly.

"But I need your help," Harry couldn't help but interrupt. He was feeling his heart beating faster. This couldn't be happening. He was not having his last conversation with Dumbledore.

"I have faith in you, Harry. It is your destiny. But a few things you must know, and you cannot interrupt me again." Harry nodded, swallowing back another reply, unable to do or say anything else when Dumbledore looked at him so intently. "After you have destroyed the horcrux we have retrieved tonight I want you to go back to Godric's Hollow." He paused and took a breath, letting Harry digest the information. Harry waited patiently. "I believe it will prove a theory I have been contemplating the last few days."

"You think Voldemort hid a horcrux there?" Harry asked.

"No. The reason for your journey is connected to the number of horcruxes Voldemort made." Harry frowned; they had spoken briefly of the number of horcruxes and the possible candidates.

"Didn't he make seven?" Dumbledore managed to shake his head weakly.

"I believe he was about to, but did not manage. My theory is that when he heard the prophecy he knew that killing you would be a very significant death, and would create a powerful horcrux. He went to your house to kill you, ignoring the deaths of your parents because he believed it was your death that would be great, his prophesied nemesis. As you know, that night was a failure for him."

"But why go back?"

"Whatever trophy he had chosen to become the seventh horcrux he would most likely have taken with him to Godric's Hollow." Again Dumbledore paused to take another breath. It was obvious he was getting weaker. Harry still didn't understand. "Godric's Hollow is a place of utter failure for him. Where he was weakened for well over a decade because of a child. I do not believe he would want to return. I also believe he would not want to use the artifact anymore. It would be tainted as much as the place."

"And you think it's still there? Hidden in the rubble?"

"We must be certain, Harry, _you_ must be certain we have the correct number." Harry nodded quickly in agreement, realising the importance of that small detail. "I believe… I hope he has not had time to find a replacement. He liked very rare things, as you know. Understanding Tom Riddle is not easy, but once you do I think he becomes rather predictable." Harry couldn't help but concede that point.

"So only six. I destroyed the diary in second year. You got the ring already, and now we have the locket. What about the others?" He found himself unable to stand still. It was horrible to just stand and watch as the - in Harry's opinion - greatest wizard alive slowly grew weaker. Dumbledore patted the side of the bed, and Harry was quick to sit down. He tried to sit still and keep his eyes on Dumbledore's.

"I have recently become more certain of Nagini, though I don't have time to show you the memories explaining that. Make sure she dies before you confront him… I also believe that one horcrux is to be found in the Chamber of Secrets, most likely Hufflepuff's Cup." Harry frowned in confusion.

"At Hogwarts?" he asked, shocked.

"I have thought long on this. Voldemort placed it there somehow, though I don't know exactly when. I am almost positive of it. The Chamber was _his_. He found it and used it. He considered it his private property as the Heir of Slytherin. It makes sense for him to place at least one horcrux there, with the Basilisk guarding it."

"But the Basilisk is dead," Harry pointed out, unable to agree too readily with the Headmaster for once. "Wouldn't he remove it?"

"Perhaps, but more likely he has not. There would be no reason too. He underestimates you constantly, Harry. He does not believe you would ever return to the Chamber, and he does not suspect what we know. You must go there also." Harry reluctantly agreed. At least it was a possibility, which was better than nothing.

"Was that why he wanted Hogwarts? Was he trying to get to it when the Death Eaters attacked?"

"No, as I said he has no reason to. Taking Hogwarts was about power, and killing me." Harry couldn't help but close his eyes briefly as that statement. He took a deep breath and tried to ignore the pain in his heart.

"So, what's the last one?" he asked. Just then the door opened and Poppy came bustling in, closely followed by Snape. Harry got up and stepped away from the bed to give the healer room. Snape came to stand in front of him, staring down at him with narrowed eyes.

"Can you tell us anything about what you two were up to?" he asked. Harry looked down at Dumbledore, who looked almost amused as Poppy cast her spells over him.

"You have taken in an awful amount of Dark Magic, Albus," Poppy said.

"I am well aware of it," Dumbledore replied, but he failed to muster his usual twinkle or tone of voice.

"Potter," Snape said, snapping Harry's attention back to him.

"No, not really... I think Dumbledore needs to tell you." Snape nodded in understanding and didn't press him.

"He will need the strongest purging potion known," Poppy said, turning to Snape.

"I do not have all the ingredients here, can you go to Diagon and get them?" Snape asked. Poppy nodded, but she looked uncertain.

"Some of the ingredients are very rare, are they not?"

"I know some suppliers that will help you if you mention my name. They will have everything… at a price," he added.

"Money doesn't matter," Harry spoke up at once, glad the Black vaults were coming to some use. Snape glanced briefly in his direction and nodded.

"Poppy, Severus," Dumbledore's voice called everybody's attention back to him. "There will be no need for the potion," he said calmly. Harry cringed back slightly when Snape immediately raised his voice.

"You will not be giving up so easily, Albus! I refuse to stand back and do nothing!"

"Severus, this is not for you to decide. Now I need to speak with Harry while I can." Snape looked liked he wanted to shout some more. Poppy didn't look much better.

"Now," Dumbledore said firmly, finding some strength to raise his own voice, though it only reached a normal pitch. The two adults left very unwillingly, closing the door softly behind them. Harry quickly sat back on the edge of the bed, swallowing past the lump in his throat and the urge to scream. Dumbledore was actually refusing treatment! He felt tears well up in his eyes, but did not let them fall yet. He needed information, no matter how much it pained him to sit there.

"Do you know about the last one?" he asked.

"I am afraid not," Dumbledore answered, causing Harry's heart to start beating faster again. "But I have faith in you." Now Harry really wanted to scream at the man. How could he possibly expect a sixteen year old boy to find and destroy it when he had no idea where to even start? "You will not be alone." Harry only nodded dumbly. He didn't doubt his friends would be with him every step of the way, but where was he supposed to go?

"Harry, take the locket from my robe pocket. I feel something amiss." Harry gently stuck his hand into the pocket Dumbledore indicated and brought out the horcrux. It didn't feel or look like it contained any soul. "Open it," Dumbledore said softly. Harry did and gasped when a piece of parchment fell out. His hands shook as he picked it up. One glance at Dumbledore told him this was not what the man had expected either. He unfolded it and began to read automatically.

"_To the Dark Lord. I know I will be dead long before you read this, but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret. I have stolen the real Horcrux and intend to destroy it as soon as I can. I face death in the hope that when you meet your match you will be mortal once more. R.A.B…"_ A thick silence permeated the room.

"Oh, dear," Dumbledore said at last. "It seems I am not to have peace after all." Harry's head snapped up and stared at the Headmaster, his eyes wide and hopeful.

"What does this mean?" he asked, indicating the letter.

"Regulus Arcturus Black," was the reply.

"Sirius' brother?"

"Yes. Until I know if he managed to destroy it or not I think I must remain on this plain of existence." Harry almost sagged in relief. "Go get Poppy back, Harry." He had never gotten off a bed so quickly in his life. He ran downstairs, feeling almost as full of adrenaline as he had in the cave with the Inferi. He skidded to a halt in the drawing room where everybody was gathered.

"He's not going to give up," he said quickly. "He asked for Poppy." Both the healer and Snape quickly ran from the room. Harry stood staring blankly at the four Weasleys, Tonks and Hermione.

"You convinced him?" Ron asked, slightly incredulously. He was sitting on the couch, an arm rapped around Hermione. All of them looked deathly pale and almost afraid.

"No, he changed his mind," Harry answered, unable to elaborate with the others in the room. His body was finally assuming it was safe to let go, and the adrenaline high he had been riding since the cave was quickly leaving him on very shaky legs. He didn't feel like sitting down, though, and he didn't feel like talking quite yet. Snape came back downstairs, entering the room and focusing his gaze on Tonks.

"Will you go with Poppy and help her with the ingredients. She should not go alone." The Auror nodded and left without another word. Snape looked at Harry.

"Will you be able to pay for the ingredients?" Harry asked quietly. Snape nodded, but gave no more information on that.

Harry gazed up at the Potions Master expectantly, waiting for him to tell them how their patient was. Snape answered the unasked question.

"He is asleep now. I will start brewing the moment Poppy returns. However, even with the potion his survival is _far_ from certain." Harry closed his eyes briefly, wondering if he would pass out from sheer emotional exhaustion. When he opened them Snape was scrutinizing him.

"What?"

"How are you feeling? Are you hurt? In all the commotion Poppy failed to check on you." Harry did not see the shocked faces of the others in the room as his back was turned to them. He shrugged off Snape's concern, being by now used to it.

"I'm fine. I'm not hurt." Snape suddenly grabbed his shoulders as if to hold him still while he examined him closer. He quickly grew agitated. He was not the one dying. "I'm fine!" he insisted. Snape ignored him and turned to Mrs. Weasley.

"Molly, surely you know a few diagnostic spells, with so many boys?" There was no sneer or mockery. It took a moment for the woman to regain her equilibrium. Snape usually called her Mrs. Weasley despite the fact that they all called him Severus. The Potions Master had frequently wondered if they did it only to annoy him.

"Oh, yes. Always useful when younger brothers keep stealing the older ones brooms."

Snape gently, but forcefully guided Harry over to the couch.

"Sit down and let her check you over." Harry gave up his pathetic attempts to get away and slumped down on the couch. He knew there was no fighting Snape when it came to his health, mentally or physically. Molly was over him the next second, casting a spell. A blue light lit the end of her wand, though it was nowhere near as bright as the lumos spell. Snape sat down next to the young man.

"No internal injuries."

"Does that spell check for concussions as well?" Snape asked.

"I don't have a bloody concussion!" Harry snapped, glaring at Snape harshly, feeling he was at the end of his rope. He hated being fussed over like this, and he realized that for some reason he would only stand for it if it was Poppy who cast such spells on him. Snape leveled a challenging gaze at him.

"Perhaps, Molly, you know what injury could cause the brat to resort to such language?" Harry kept glaring at the man, but Snape didn't seem affected in the least. Slowly Harry let go and leaned against the man, completely worn out. He wanted to be alone with Snape. That idea would have freaked him out a few weeks ago, but now he didn't care. "Molly, cast a lightening charm, please, a weak one should do," Snape asked politely, moving to pick Harry up bridal style. Harry tried to get away, but only half-heartedly. He didn't like the thought of his friends seeing Snape treating him like this without an explanation, but he was too tired to care. He heard and felt Molly cast the spell and then he was lifted up.

He quickly buried his face in the man's chest, feeling unbelievably safe as always when Snape held him, but now also hiding from the others in the room. All he could think about was that if Dumbledore died despite it all, then Harry would be so terribly lost. Everything would be lost. They made it halfway up to his room before the first sob escaped him. Some distant part of his mind hoped the others didn't hear him. Snape picked up the pace and soon Harry felt the man sit down on his bed. He stayed in the man's comfortable lap.

He doubted he would have sobbed like this had Dumbledore died during any other time of his life. But sitting with Snape was different. Snape knew, understood, better than anyone, and felt the loss probably more than anyone else as well. Yet, he was the one holding Harry, letting Harry sob his frustration and fear out, as well as the terror of his experience in the Cave. Harry would be eternally grateful. He doubted there was anyone else who would have done this for him, especially without crying themselves, except perhaps Sirius, but he hadn't known Dumbledore that well.

Slowly the sobs died down, and Harry tried to find hope that Dumbledore would make it. He lifted his head and looked at the man who had held him through many similar sessions. The man was paler looking, and his eyes shone with worry and what Harry guessed was fear.

"He'll make it," Harry heard himself say, wondering if it was Snape's turn to break down. "He's so strong." Snape nodded. He seemed reassured that Harry had stopped sobbing. He quickly lifted helped Harry get comfortable in the bed before getting up.

"Sleep now," he said gently.

"You'll fix him Severus. I have faith in you," Harry murmured, but he was barely aware of it himself. His body was shutting down now that the immediate danger was over. He didn't hear it if Snape replied.

XXX

Snape left Harry after spelling on nightclothes. He made his way downstairs to the drawing room again. The people inside were all still pale, but they looked at him with curious eyes. He regretted not going straight to his lab.

"Harry is sleeping," he informed them, hoping they would let him go. No such luck. Molly stood up and came towards him. Snape suddenly realized this was the closest thing Harry had to a mother. She was no doubt wondering what Snape was doing to her precious boy.

"Is he all right? You were gone a long time," she commented. Snape resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"He had just been through a rather traumatic experience. He needed to… vent," Snape said after choosing the most vague word he could think of for the occasion.

"He seems… less stubborn around you," Molly said, frowning slightly. Snape just stared at her blankly.

"Harry would never have allowed anyone to subdue him so quickly, apart from maybe Poppy," Hermione spoke up quietly, not looking at Snape. This time Snape did roll his eyes.

"We have been stuck in the same house for a considerable amount of time. Harry had also been through a most traumatic event prior to that. He needed someone to confide in."

"He confided in you?" Ron blurted out incredulously. Snape glared at him and the redheaded boy winced as if he had been struck and looked away. Molly stepped to the side, blocking his view. Snape looked up at her, wondering how she would react. He wasn't exactly a popular choice for a parental figure.

"Thank you for taking care of him. It is nice to know he wasn't as alone as I had feared." Snape could only nod to that. This was getting a little too personal for him.

"I need to go get the ingredients I have ready," he said, quickly turning and leaving without another word. After he left Molly sat back down with her husband and the group laps into silence. Ron broke it as tactfully as ever.

"I can't believe Harry's become friends with the greasy git."

"Ronald," Molly scolded. "Harry was alone and Snape was the only adult here. I for one am grateful he could help. I was worried when Dumbledore told us to stay away at first." Silence settled over them again as they were all reminded of whom else was upstairs sleeping.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Godric's Hollow.

Harry lay in a semi-awake state for a long time. He was aware of the bed beneath him, but his mind was still floating through random images and thoughts. He tried to ignore them, but the memory of the cave would not leave him. When the door shut quietly and two pairs of feet made their way over to his bed, he was finally able to wake up completely, but he didn't open his eyes.

"Should we wake him?"

"No, let him sleep." Ron and Hermione. He also smelt something good. He opened his eyes and saw them standing by his bed. Hermione was floating a breakfast tray beside them.

"Hey, mate, didn't mean to wake you," Ron said, still keeping his voice low.

"Hey," he said weakly. "'S'okay. I was already awake."

"Here," Hermione said, levitating the breakfast tray over his lap. He began to sit up and Ron was there to help him. He tried shrugging him off.

"I'm fine. I wasn't hurt, remember?" Ron looked a little sheepish, but still adjusted the pillows behind Harry so he was more comfortable. Harry stared down at his food. _'You didn't have to go to so much trouble,'_ was what he wanted to say. "How is he?" he heard himself say instead.

"He's still sleeping. Professor Snape is brewing the potion as we speak. Pomfrey is by the Headmaster's side all the time. Tonks is making sure no one else in the Order knows. Making up excuses, keeping everybody busy."

"Why?" Harry asked, looking up at her and frowning.

"Because it wouldn't be a good thing if word got out that Dumbledore was sick." Harry shuddered when he thought what Voldemort would do if he found out Dumbledore was _dying_. Cackle with glee no doubt, and perhaps a merry jig? Banishing his own depressing thoughts he tried to focus on the more important things.

"I'll just eat and get dressed. Then we have a lot to talk about." Ron and Hermione nodded, and went and sat in the couch by the fire. Harry ate mechanically, knowing he needed his strength, and then showered quickly. When he returned to his bedroom he warded the place as best he could. Hermione put in a few good charms as well, making sure no one could use listening devices on the door, and then waited patiently while Harry seated himself in the chair. For a long time he stared into the empty grate, wondering where to begin.

"Perhaps you should start with where you went last night?" Hermione asked after the silence had dragged on.

"We went to retrieve a horcrux. Slytherin's locket, but it was a fake." He waited until the gasps of shock had passed before summoning the letter from the pocket of the jeans he had worn the day before. He handed it to Hermione and Ron read over her shoulder.

"Who do you think R.A.B. is?" she asked when they had finished.

"Regulus Black, according to Dumbledore. His middle name was Arcturus."

"Wasn't he a Death Eater?" Ron asked.

"Yes, but obviously he betrayed Voldemort," Hermione said, re-reading the letter and ignoring Ron's slight flinch at the name. "Unfortunately this leaves us with more problems. Does Dumbledore have any idea if Regulus managed to destroy it?" Harry shook his head.

"I think that's the only reason why he's still fighting to stay alive." A thick silence settled over the Trio, all thoughts about horcruxes gone for a moment. Hermione's face went from sad to pensive slowly and Harry waited for her to say what was on her mind.

"Even if he did destroy it the horcrux inside the locket, it would still be somewhere, right?"

"Well, the diary survived and Dumbledore is still wearing the ring, so I suppose so."

"So all we have to do is find it?" Ron asked with a slight snort. "Easier said than done, that. What if You Know Who got to him before he could destroy or hide it?"

"Then this letter wouldn't have been wherever Harry and Dumbledore went," Hermione pointed out. "We need to put ourselves in his place. What did he do after he took the horcrux?" Again the silence fell over them. Then a thought popped into Harry's head.

"Home?" Harry said, turning it into a question.

"But didn't he live here?" Ron asked. "Surely someone would have noticed if a piece of You Know Who's soul was lying around? I mean, we've cleaned this place from top to bottom."

"Not necessarily. I don't think you can sense if something is a horcrux. You didn't feel anything odd with the diary, did you Harry?"

"No really, not until Riddle pulled me into it, but I didn't sense a soul or anything like that… Do you think we missed it? Or maybe it's still in the attic? No one's been there except Dobby and Kreacher."

"Kreacher!" Hermione exclaimed, startling Harry and Ron. "Maybe he took it. Isn't he always stealing stuff he says belonged to his mistress?"

"Yeah," Harry said, sounding very unsure with Hermione's hunch, but willing to go along with anything. Hermione seemed to register Harry's reluctance.

"It's worth questioning him, isn't it?" she asked pointedly. Harry mentally went through all the cabinets and rooms they'd cleaned when they had first arrived. There was too much stuff to remember one locket. He couldn't help feel that it was unlikely such an important artifact had just been stuffed in a drawer at Grimmauld Place. But what if Regulus had been in a hurry?

"Let's leave that horcrux for a moment. Wherever it is, it isn't going anywhere soon. Dumbledore said we need to go to Godric's Hollow. I think that we should get that done the second Snape's finished the potion." It took a moment before the pair could get over their shock. To be honest Harry wasn't looking forward to going there either, but when Hermione spoke up that was not what she asked.

"Why wait until Snape finishes? I don't think Dumbledore will be in any shape to come."

"I know that, but I want Snape to come with us." This time Ron and Hermione outright gaped at him.

"Why would you want the greasy git there?" Ron demanded. Harry suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. He wasn't going to go into his many reasons, but he knew he needed an proper adult with him… in fact he would have preferred only he and Snape go.

"Harry, it's too dangerous. If we run into trouble-"

"Then Snape is one of the best wizards out there, one with extensive knowledge of Defense. And if he's caught he will, like the rest of us, suffer a horrible death, but he doesn't know anything really important now. And we're not going to tell him anything important. We need him with us." _I need him with me. _A very distant part of his brain told him he would much rather have Draco with him, and he felt the urge to go check the parchment or fiddle with his dragon necklace. He pushed that feeling away and focused on his friends, both eyeing him with concern.

"All right," Hermione said slowly. "We take him with us, but what exactly are we looking for?" Harry explained Dumbledore's theory about there only being sixth horcruxes. To his surprise Hermione supported it immediately, and Ron of course was glad they had one less to worry about. They went on to discuss the Chamber of Secrets. This time Hermione voiced her doubts, saying Voldemort wouldn't want a horcrux so close to Dumbledore. Ron was the one to point out that only Harry and You Know Who could get into the chamber. In the end they agreed to check out both places. Godric's Hollow with Snape, while they would go alone to the Chamber of Secrets since the basilisk was already dead.

Finally they were done with the discussion and Harry excused himself. He checked in with Dumbledore, but the man was asleep with Poppy sitting watch over him. Harry made his way downstairs, hoping the kitchen was empty, but failing to be surprised when he found Mrs. Weasley there.

"Harry, dear, how are you feeling?" He could tell from the tone of her voice that Dumbledore's sickness was weighing on her. She looked pale and drawn.

"Fine. Is Snape in the lab?"

"Yes, dear, but I don't think you should disturb him." Harry nodded and sat down at the kitchen table.

"Do you have any idea how long the potion will take to brew?"

"No dear, I'm sorry." Again Harry nodded. Molly went back to cocking something, or perhaps she was cleaning; Harry didn't know. He stared at the table and simply waited. Ron and Hermione came down after a while and sat beside him. Neither of them said anything and he was grateful for that. The fact that Molly didn't tell them to go somewhere else was proof of how the situation was affecting everybody.

Mr. Weasley joined them for lunch, along with Pomfrey and Ginny. Tonks came by for a status report and offered to sit with Dumbledore while the healer ate a quick meal. Harry was glad someone was there, even though Pomfrey said he wouldn't wake up without a spell. Soon only Harry, Hermione and the four Weasleys were left.

"Maybe someone should take some food to him?" Molly asked, gazing worriedly at the door to the potions lab.

"He won't eat it anyway. Not until he's finished," Harry stated, although he didn't sound happy about it. He didn't notice the unreadable glances exchanged. As if his words had been a magic spell, the door to the lab opened and a very weary looking Snape entered the kitchen. Harry suddenly realized the man had no doubt been up all night. He also briefly wondered what sort of contacts he had who would sell ingredients so late at night.

"Is Poppy upstairs?" he asked. At Molly's nod he strode out of the room. Harry noted the vial in his hand. Molly and Arthur followed him, but Harry couldn't bring himself to move. The Trio waited in a tense silence for what felt like hours, but could perhaps have been only fifteen minutes. Harry raised his head when Snape returned, almost being pushed into the kitchen by Mrs. Weasley. He sat heavily down in the chair across from Harry.

"Let me get you some tea," Mrs. Weasley said, then to Harry's surprise Snape said something he rarely did.

"Thank you." The Weasley matriarch, to her credit, faltered only for a second before setting to work with renewed enthusiasm. Harry, along with Ron and Hermione on either side of him, eyed the Potions Master as he drank deeply from his hot tea, no doubt scalding his throat.

"Well?" Harry prompted, unable to remain silent a moment longer. He briefly wondered if Snape was going to berate him, but the man simply sighed tiredly.

"I have done all I can. The purifying potion will need to work through his body for a few days, the exact number I do not know. He will be in and out of consciousness during that time. When it is over I have a few other healing potions to administer, and Poppy will do doubt want more. For now, it is working as it should." Harry sighed and bowed his head. He didn't know if he should ask Snape to come with them today. The man had been up all night.

"Mrs. Weasley," Hermione spoke up suddenly. Molly turned to her with eyebrows raised expectantly. "I know this seems strange, but could we have a word alone with Professor Snape?" Mrs. Weasley's already high eyebrows rose higher, but she quickly smiled and left after making sure everybody had their tea, along with a few scones. Snape had given no reaction, but when the door closed he turned to Hermione.

"If this is to be a lengthy discussion I would ask you to retrieve a Pepper-up potion from the shelf behind my worktable in the lab." He gestured to the door. Hermione appeared stunned to be asked to actually go into Snape's private lab, but she quickly got up and scurried out of the kitchen, returning moments later with a small green bottle. Snape took a large gulp, closing his eyes as the effects rushed through him. "Now," he said, putting the stopper back on the bottle and setting it aside. "What is it you wish to talk about?" Harry glanced quickly from Hermione to Ron, and then he plunged in.

"We're going to Godric's Hollow today," he stated bluntly. Snape raised one eyebrow, probably the most shocked expression he could produce.

"Really? And what makes you think you will be allowed to leave this house?"

"Dumbledore has given me, Ron and Hermione several tasks that are essential to this war. We need to begin at Godric's Hollow and we need you to come with us." Harry watched as his previous assessment was proved wrong. Snape's eyes widened in clear shock and he actually opened his mouth slightly, but then closed it again when he realized he wasn't saying anything. Harry held the man's gaze, knowing he needed to be determined to win this. He expected the man to argue, to sneer and scoff at him perhaps.

"No." Outright refusal was unexpected, and Harry faltered for a moment. Snape sat back in his chair and regarded Harry with a blank stare, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Professor Snape, sir, we need to do this. Dumbledore-" Hermione began.

"Albus Dumbledore may have seen fit to entrust important tasks to teenagers, but he has not spoken of anything to me. I am not responsible for you. I suggest you chose Tonks and maybe a few other aurors, but I will remain here."

"Why? Scared to leave?" Harry asked, raising his own eyebrow, trying to imitate the irritating man. He obviously failed when Snape snorted and rolled his eyes.

"I am not a Gryffindor, Mr. Potter, and therefore do not care one wit whether you insult my bravery. However, I am staying here because you have no need for me there. I am not a trained auror. I cannot provide any assistance."

"You can provide _me_ with assistance," Harry blurted forcefully before be could stop himself. The room fell silent and Harry had to break away from the man's gaze. "Could you guys give us a moment?" Harry asked. Ron and Hermione wordlessly got up and left the room. Snape hadn't move from his position, nor changed his expression. Harry slowly looked up at the man, unknowingly revealing his desperation through his expressive eyes. "I need you to come with me. I can't face it alone."

"Potter-"

"Harry."

Snape sighed.

"You cannot ask me to go there. You do not know-"

"I know everything," Harry said quietly, lowering his eyes to the table again. "I know you were the one who told part of the prophecy to Voldemort." He heard Snape's sharp intake of breath.

"Then why on earth would you want me to go there?" Harry looked up. He didn't even realize his eyes were filled with unshed tears.

"Because I need you there. You're the only one who… I don't know exactly what it is, but… I find this peace with you. You helped me through everything. You know about Draco when no one else does. You understand like no one else, except Draco perhaps, but he's not here, and most likely he's not going to ever come back… and maybe," Harry added, pausing slightly in uncertainty. "We could both find some peace there. I don't blame you for any of it."

"How can you say that?" Snape asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Harry found it in him to shrug.

"Because it was meant to be. If it hadn't been you, then it would have been someone else. If not me, then Neville. The fact that you regretted it makes a big difference, because you've helped the Light a lot since then. If you hadn't done what you did, not to mention all the things you did after, then who knows where we would be? Probably all kneeling at that bastard's feet."

Harry could somehow sense Snape's resolve crumbling so he plowed on. "I know I'm being terribly selfish, but I could really use you there… I don't fancy breaking down and sobbing in Ron's arms." He couldn't help the slight blush that crept over his cheeks. Merlin, he was actually admitting to needing a shoulder to cry on. Some Gryffindor he was. Snape, however, proved once again that he was capable of kindness and nodded.

"Very well. I will accompany you." Harry gave a small smile of gratitude.

"You're sure you're up for it?" he asked.

"I brewed the Pepper-up potion did I not?" Snape drawled. Harry grinned and rose to leave. They met the others in the drawing room upstairs. Ginny and the Weasley parents were there as well. Harry immediately thought that his conversation with Snape had been the easy one from the looks Mrs. and Mr. Weasley were giving him.

"Harry, what is this nonsense about you three leaving to Godric's Hollow of all places?" Mrs. Weasley spoke up.

"This is something Dumbledore told us we needed to do," Harry said firmly, realizing that the adults had no way of verifying that if Dumbledore was still unconscious. "And Snape is coming along." Mrs. Weasley turned her attention to Snape, who was standing one step behind Harry and to his left.

"You're condoning this? You're helping them?" she screeched.

"They are leaving no matter what. None of us are Harry's keepers. These are Dumbledore's orders. I am going along because Harry requested it. It is either that or they go alone, apparently." You could clearly see the conflicting emotions flitting across Molly Weasley's face. On the one hand she didn't want to go against a dying man's wishes, but that didn't mean she liked it one bit.

"Mum. I'm seventeen. So's 'Mione. And Harry has permission from Dumbledore. You can't keep us here," Ron spoke up, sounding very grown-up to Harry's ears.

After at least twenty minutes of more arguing, some of it done with raised voices, the group of four left the house. Snape would need to apparate them there since none of them knew the location. Luckily it wasn't that far and the trip wouldn't be too strenuous for Snape. They on the outskirts of a small village. Harry had his wand out at once. He looked behind them and saw a small woodland in the distance. Down the small lane they were on he could see the town square in the distance.

Harry couldn't help the way his heartbeat sped up when he thought about what was awaiting them. He also couldn't help but wonder what his parents would have said if they could comment on the fact that he was essentially bringing the man who initiated the chain of events that led to their deaths as moral support for his first time back. Hopefully they would be amused by the irony. He doubted dead people could hold grudges.

"The house, or what's left of it, is right up the road," Snape pointed behind them. "The graveyard is beyond the town square, by the church," he pointed to the church they could see in the distance. "Where would you like to go first?"

Harry felt the dread drop with a thud in his already uneasy stomach. He saw the sympathetic looks Ron and Hermione were giving him and looked away up the road.

"I think we should go to the house first," he said, trying to sound firm.

"Are you sure, Harry?" Hermione asked. Harry didn't look at her, but nodded and began to walk without looking back. They walked silently up the road, all with wands out just in case. It was when they passed a muggle repellent charm that Harry looked up and realised that they were here. It was even less than anticipated. The ground floor was pretty intact, but there was a gigantic whole in the upstairs. There was vegetation growing everywhere, as if nature was trying to reclaim it. Harry knew the vines had no doubt been growing almost as long as he had been alive. The thought was a little disconcerting for some reason. It made him feel strangely old.

He walked up to the front steps. He didn't even see the plaque. They went inside. The house felt, in a word, dead. A lot had been clear out, probably in the investigation. Harry didn't know how long he stood there, feeling empty of both emotions and thoughts. He had imagined himself more affected by the sight. He startled when Hermione spoke up.

"Harry? Do you have any idea of what exactly we're looking for?" she asked tentatively. Harry glanced back at the three of them, only two of them looked disturbed at being there, but Harry fancied the one that looked on with a blank mask was the one most affected besides himself. Harry shook his head and turned back to look at the sitting room. He tried focusing on the task at hand.

"He came through here then," he said when he found his voice. It was calm and detached sounding.

"Harry," Hermione began in a sad, and almost warning tone. He ignored her and took a step forwards.

"He met my father in the living room most likely…" For a moment Harry fancied he could see it all. How the house should have looked, the warmth, the colours. The fierce eyes of his father as he stood his ground to protect his family. "We don't know why he decided to kill my father, but he did. Probably got irritated. Then he went to find me." Harry stopped and looked around before turning back to gaze at Snape, who was still standing just outside the door.

They exchanged a brief look and Snape's eyes flickered to the stairway.

"You look around here," Harry said to Ron and Hermione. "We'll go upstairs." He knew it was likely to be upstairs, but they all understood him. Ron and Hermione at least pretended to look around.

The nursery was almost completely gone. Harry went around the edges of the room, glancing out the gaping hole and wondering how it might have looked to the neighbours, though they probably hadn't seen anything thanks to the Fidelius. Snape remained by the door. Harry didn't blame him; at least the man was here. That seemed to be enough, since Harry felt no compulsion to cry. He felt sadness, but no debilitating despair. He had a mission to focus on.

He scanned the floor, his eyes spotting a small baby rattle. It was baby blue, though the colour had faded, with what appeared to be pictures of clouds. It occurred to him that his mother had been muggle-born. Perhaps it had been a present from one of her muggle friends, or held some other significance. Whatever the reason it was almost funny to think that a muggle toy was the thing best preserved after all these years.

Without really thinking about it, he bent down and picked it up, stuffing the toy in one of his pockets and started searching through the rubble, crouching down so he could move debris out of the way. There were charred pieces of furniture and other baby stuff, but nothing that was out of place. Harry was starting to lose hope. Dumbledore couldn't be right about everything. Surely Voldemort would have-

His thoughts stopped short as the sun peaked briefly through a cloud, straight through the hole, and reflected off something in the corner of his eye.

Following the light on hands and knees now, he lifted a very rotten piece of wood and gasped. It was a beautiful lion statuette. There was no doubt in Harry's mind to whom it had once belonged. What shocked him was how Voldemort could be so proud that he would allow it to remain here just because of his failure. The lion was made from gold, still glistening despite the many years in the rubble, its details so fine Harry knew it had been made with the help of magic. The small statue could just fit on Harry's flat palm. The figure was roaring and rearing up and as Harry balanced it on his right hand he was reminded of the dragon around his neck.

Sitting back on his knees he studied the lion. It was in a word exquisite, with red rubies for eyes. Even the small teeth were perfectly formed inside the mouth. He took his overly long sleeve and started rubbing to clean it up. It gave a small roar of protest first, but then seemed to enjoy it. Harry almost smiled, both at its cuteness and the feeling of elation at having found it. He glanced up triumphantly at Snape, who stared back with curiosity, but said nothing.

He all but ran downstairs.

"Harry! You found it!" Hermione exclaimed, stating the obvious. He held it out for both of them to see. "It's beautiful," she said reverently. "Imagine. This once belonged to a founder of Hogwarts. It's over a thousand years old and Voldemort left it here because of his damaged pride." Harry nodded, feeling exactly the same, full of wonder.

"Rather small," Ron said. "For a lion," he added a little sheepishly when Harry gave him an odd look. "How do we know if it's, eh, you know." Harry looked back at the figure and turned it over in his hands, examining it from every angle.

"Dumbledore must know a way to tell. He found the ring and I think he felt something off about the locket." Hermione nodded her agreement. Harry gave her the lion to put in one of her pockets since she was wearing a robe and he already had one full pocket. She tucked it away carefully. Harry glanced behind him and saw Snape coming down the stairs slowly. He didn't comment on their findings, nor did Harry comment on why he had taken so long to come down. They all left together.

They were about almost at the town square, the church looming in front of them, when Harry stopped dead in his tracks. Hermione and Ron didn't stop until a few steps ahead of him. Snape, at the very front, must have heard them and spun around, his eyes narrowed as he took in the look of trepidation on Harry's face.

"Severus," Harry began, not realising he was using the man's first name when they weren't alone, which had sort of become their unspoken rule until now. "Could you apparate the others back… And then come back for me?" his voice was soft and it was barely a question.

"Harry, are you sure that's wise? I feel like this has been too easy," Hermione said, looking around nervously as though she expected Death Eaters to jump out any second.

"I need to do this on my own…" he exchanged a very brief glance with Snape and he saw understanding in those eyes, understanding he was now used to seeing, craved even. Before any more protests could be made Snape grabbed two arms and disapparated. Harry waited where he was, but it was only five seconds before Snape was back.

Snape walked two steps behind him all the way. The graveyard looked old and crowded. Harry's eyes automatically started scanning the names on the many graves.

"This way." Harry's head snapped up at Snape's soft voice. The man was walking away from him towards the edge of the graveyard. Beyond the iron fence lay a field and then the wood. He had obviously spotted something. Harry followed quickly, noting that the clouds had become thicker since they had arrived and that everything was in shadow now. Snape stopped abruptly in front of two graves standing close together. They were plain and white, though with the current weather they looked almost grey.

Harry stepped past Snape and went to stand before the graves. _'James Potter' 'Lily Evans Potter.' 'Devoted father and husband.' 'Loving wife and mother.'_ Harry realised with a start that he had never really pictured their graves. Not once in all his life. He had felt their absence of course, but a part of him had imagined that they were somehow beyond such earthly things. They had simply disappeared, been banished with magic in a way, even though he had thought they had died in a car crash until he was eleven. He hadn't thought of bodies to bury or people standing around and saying nice things about them.

Even though he was thinking of his parents, it was his own life that flashed before his eyes. All his choices, all his accomplishments, all his many mistakes. He supposed it was logical to wonder if they would have been proud of him. Should he say something? He felt ashamed suddenly that he had not visited here before. He doubted Petunia had attended the funeral. While others had been saying goodbye she had no doubt been complaining about how loud his crying was compared to her precious Dudley. He could just picture her holding his cousin while he himself wailed in his cot... or cupboard.

He was suddenly aware of kneeling in front of the graves and that his cheeks were wet. He had never cried for his parents. Sure, he had cried that they were not there, but that had always been when he was little and something horrible had happened and he had wished for real parents to take him away. He had never just cried for Lily and James Potter.

Turning his upper body he looked back over his shoulder at Snape. He stood stiffly and regarded Harry with a frown, the worry clear in his eyes. Harry was grateful the man wasn't wearing his blank mask when they were alone. He also realised the man was breathing more heavily than normal. He reached out, for what he didn't know, but Snape seemed to know and he came forward. He dropped to his knees behind Harry and opened his arms. Harry turned around fully and buried his face in Snape's chest. The man's large and heavy robes came round him as he was hugged. He didn't sob, but let the tears flow freely and just existed for a moment.

Draco popped into his mind, the thought almost piecing him. Would he one day be looking at a grave for him? Would there even be a body to bury? He still hoped Snape would be proven right and that his boyfriend would escape. But a small part of his mind asked the question he feared above all else: _'What if he didn't want to return?'_

Harry wasn't sure how long they sat there, but both men started when a gruff voice barked at them from somewhere behind Snape.

"Who are you?" Harry was so small compared to Snape that he was completely hidden from view. Snape slowly spread his arms wide, his robe helping to obscure Harry more fully. With his eyes he told Harry to hide behind one of the headstones. He slowly stood while Harry quickly, though silently, scrambled behind his father's headstone, keeping low and holding his wand ready. He didn't dare sneak a look, but heard Snape turn and then the man's rough voice again.

"Wait… you're _Snape._" Harry shuddered at the undisguised glee in the man's voice. A wizard- set to keep watch for Voldemort? Harry had no doubts that the man already had a wand out.

"And who may I ask wants to know?" Harry marvelled that the Potions Master could sound so calm. As if he had just met an old acquaintance along the road.

"No sudden moves!" the man barked suddenly. Then his voice went back to the eager tone from before. "Who would have thought this dreary little outpost would lead me to the _traitor!_ The Dark Lord will be most pleased."

"I'm sure. He's on his way then?" Snape asked casually, as though hoping Voldemort would show up any moment. Harry realised Snape was trying to find out if the man, Death Eater he guessed correctly, had informed anyone that someone was by the Potter graves before confronting Snape by himself. Hopefully the man was like most Death Eaters; stupid and eager to take all credit themselves.

"I'll think I'll gift-rap you," the man mused to himself.

"IMPEDIMENTA!" Snape yelled.

"Protego! _Crucio!_" Harry couldn't help but peak his head out just in time to see Snape deflect the curse before casting a nasty spell in return, though not technically a Dark curse. The two continued to duel fiercely, moving steadily away from where Harry was as Snape forced the man backwards. Harry noticed the Death Eater was very good at shielding spells, but was otherwise unoriginal in his offensive spells. Snape tried several different ones, trying to get through the man's shields. Harry suddenly had an idea. Something that a shielding spell wouldn't work against. He quickly pointed his wand at the stone right behind the man and focused all his magic, briefly sending an apology to whoever's grave it was.

"_Wingardium Leviosa,_" he whispered firmly. It was extremely heavy, but Harry managed to lift it out of the ground, his wand hand shaking and his chest heaving as though he were lifting it himself. Unfortunately Snape appeared so shocked he lost his concentration as he stared at the stone that was now almost over the man's head. He was hit with a suffocating curse and fell to the ground wheezing. The man laughed and stood over Snape's convulsing form. He hadn't noticed Harry's shaking wand hand sticking out from behind the grave.

"You know muggles used to hang their criminals. Fitting is-" _THUD_. The man's head was crushed under the heavy stone. Harry didn't spare him a second glance as he rushed towards Snape, who was still choking. He fell to his knees and hoped he remembered the spell correctly. Snape's eyes rolled up as violent convulsions racked his frame.

"_Anapneo_," Harry breathed, feeling out of breath himself from the exertion of lifting the stone. For one terrible moment nothing happened. He cast the spell to clear Snape's airway again and then Snape started couching. He rolled onto his side and threw up, gasping in a lungful of air between each couch and heave. Harry didn't know what else to do so he just held the man's hair away. After a while Snape rolled onto his back, still panting but no longer retching or couching. He didn't sound too good though.

"Healing charm," he breathed, his voice hoarse as he pointed to his throat. Harry nodded as he pointed his wand carefully.

"_Episkey_," he said, very relieved when Snape closed his eyes and sighed, his breathing finally normal. "Thank Merlin. Are you ok?" Snape only nodded. "Can you apparate? I don't think we should stay here long."

"I will be able to," Snape said, sitting up and shakily getting to his feet. Harry was unsure whether the man would accept help, but remained close in case Snape was feeling light-headed. Snape spared a glance at the man under the headstone, the grass around it now soaked in blood. "Creative… and effective," was his only comment.

"Let's go," Harry said, his voice only slightly pleading, grabbing hold of Snape's arm. Harry was very grateful when he felt the apparition taking place. A second later and they were standing in front of Grimmauld Place. Harry never thought he had been so happy to see #12. They made their way inside and all the way down to the kitchen before they were accosted again, this time by a worried Hermione and Molly Weasley. Ron, Ginny and Mr. Weasley were sitting around the table. Dinner was on the stove.

"Harry, are you alright?" Hermione asked, looking from one to the other and then frowning. "Professor Snape?" The Potions Master didn't answer, but sat down in his usual chair at the table.

"A think he needs a healing potion for his throat. I'm not that good at the charm," Harry ventured, looking at Snape and receiving a small nod. Hermione didn't question, but went into the lab and retrieved the required potion. After Snape had drunk nearly the entire bottle and everybody was seated around except for Molly who was still checking Harry over with a few spells, ignoring his futile attempts to insist he was fine, Snape looked him straight in the eye.

"It would seem, Harry, that it was your turn to save me."


	13. Chapter 13

_Chapter 13._

"_It would seem, Harry, that it was your turn to safe me."_

The whole room fell silent at Snape's declaration. Harry stared right back at Snape and blinked once. Then the spell broke and Snape turned to Mrs. Weasley, who was still standing beside Harry.

"Molly, I need you to contact Tonks and get Aurors over to the graveyard at Godric's Hollow. There is a dead Death Eater there that needs taken care of." Harry's stomach lurched painfully as he realised he had been the one to kill him. Quite a horrible way to die, getting a headstone dumped on your head. It wasn't remotely funny. Snape looked back at him sharply. "You did what you had to do, Harry. You saved my life." Harry could only nod jerkily. He wasn't looking at them, but he could picture Ron and Hermione's faces; full of confusion, shock, worry and a desire to ask questions. He hadn't even noticed that Mrs. Weasley had left until she came back.

"What happened?" she demanded, looming over Harry. "I knew you shouldn't have gone alone! You should have had several Aurors with you!"

"It was my fault," Snape cut in smoothly, drawing everybody's attention. "I should have been watching our surroundings. It is past and does not matter. Luckily, he was alone and I do not believe he alerted anyone to our presence. It will hopefully be days before the Dark Lord knows he is dead."

"It doesn't matter if he knows we were there anyway," Harry said. "All he knows is that we visited the graveyard." He couldn't help thinking how the Death Eater probably had orders simply to watch the graveyard and report back if Harry came. But he had confronted them on his own, to get the glory.

"I am going upstairs to check on Albus," Snape suddenly announced, rising and stalking out of the kitchen without another word.

"Are you all right, Harry?" Mrs. Weasley asked, laying a hand on his shoulder. He shrugged, secretly hoping to dislodge the hand, and nodded.

"Yeah, I just… I need to talk to Ron and Hermione," he said, knowing it was most likely futile to request such a thing. Maybe he could excuse himself from dinner and meet up with them later? But, as everybody simply exchanged glances and the ones concerned rose, Harry was all of a sudden reminded that it was his house now and he was perfectly capable of making such demands. He felt guilty about it, though, but now it was too late as they were already alone, after Molly put preserving charms on dinner of course. Harry opened his mouth to ask if they had been up to see Dumbledore, but was cut short by Ron.

"So, what happened, mate? Snape said you saved him! Did you duel a Death Eater?" Harry didn't like how almost eager Ron sounded when he asked that. He didn't really want to get into that. It would bring up all sorts of uncomfortable details.

"Eh, it's not important. Really."

"Not important! _Snape_ told us you saved him! Come one, Harry, you have to tell us the story! How'd you do it?" Harry sighed, definitely wishing he hadn't asked to be alone with his friends now.

"I was hiding behind the headstone and-"

"Wait, why were you hiding? Surely the Death Eater must have seen you when he approached?" Hermione pointed out. Harry resisted the urge to glare at her.

"I was hugging Snape and his form concealed me from view," he said in a rush, ignoring the incredulous stares of his friends and keeping his eyes on the table. He was too tired to invent something else. He wanted to get past in unimportant stuff.

"You. Were hugging. Snape?" Ron said slowly for clarification. Harry nodded, but didn't look up. There was a long pause and then Ron cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Eh… he's not… I mean… shite, he's not your-"

"Ron don't be stupid," Hermione cut him off, causing Harry to look up at them with a frown.

"Well, what am I suppose to think!" Ron cried defensively. It didn't take long for Harry to put two and two together, and his eyes went very wide when he did.

"No, _no_ Ron! Snape's not-… I mean we've just been getting along better. It's a very recent development." Harry couldn't find it in him to say '_Snape's not my boyfriend.'_ He might be gay, but could only look at Snape as some strange nemesis turned parental figure. Ron sagged in relief. "Besides," Harry couldn't help point out. "You saw at least parts of my boyfriend's body and they look nothing like Snape's."

"What? When was this?" Hermione demanded, rounding on Ron with narrowed eyes.

"Gee, thanks mate," Ron said. He obviously hadn't told Hermione about that particular incident.

"You can have it out later, guys. We need to get the lion to Dumbledore so he can check it over." Hermione kept staring at Ron for a moment before relenting and focusing on Harry again, her eyes soft.

"First, could you please explain everything that happened?" Now that the worst was over Harry explained what happened fairly quickly. When he got to the levitating bit Ron suddenly guffawed and exclaimed:

"Just like in first year with the troll!"

"Eh," Harry said, sounding very dubious. "I didn't even think of the troll to be honest… it wasn't really anything like that." '_The troll's head didn't get completely crushed for one.'_ Ron opened his mouth to comment, but Hermione elbowed him and before he could so much as glare at her the door opened and Snape returned.

"He is awake and his condition seems to be improving," he stated. "We will not know if he is out of danger for at least three days, however, as the potion may still be rejected by whatever magic he… imbibed." Harry gave him an odd look, wondering why Snape had used that particular phrase. Perhaps Dumbledore had explained some things so they would know how to treat him. The others nodded in understanding.

"Snape? You down here?" Tonks' voice drifted down to them and a moment later the Auror was standing in the kitchen, looking very serious. "I need to talk to you."

"What about?" Snape inquired. Tonks hesitated, eyes quickly taking in the other occupants before speaking in a hushed voice.

"It's about Malfoy… Draco Malfoy." Harry's heart leapt to his throat. He kept his eyes on Snape, knowing that he would betray himself if he let anyone else look into them. Snape stiffened visibly, but nodded. Ron and Hermione, taking their queue, rose to leave and shuffled out quickly. Harry was just about to follow.

"Harry, stay," Snape said softly. Tonks looked confused, but didn't question. They all settled round the kitchen table, and Harry tried his best to be a Slytherin and keep his face blank. He envied how Snape's face was the picture of calm, even though Harry knew the man must be feeling at least a little of what he was going through at the moment. He held his breath as Tonks began.

"There was a raid last night, I don't know if you've been informed about it yet, what with everything going on around here. I wasn't there, as you know, but I've just learned that Draco was spotted, though not captured. His blond hair, I believe."

"Do you know if he was injured?" Snape asked calmly.

"No, I don't think so. According to the my information, Auror saw the hair and thought it was Lucius. He had some sort of grudge, one of many who do against that bastard. Draco was keeping to the shadows, so my colleague thought he was hiding, and went for him. He got distracted before he got to him, however, and didn't see him again. Lucius was apparently surprisingly absent according to the reports," she added in a curious tone. Harry studied his hands, trying not to picture Draco as he kept to the shadows during a bloody raid, eyes full of fear, surrounded by Aurors who wanted to capture him, or Death Eaters who could so easily decide to leave him behind or something similar.

"I have speculated that the Malfoys, especially Lucius, have been… punished by the Dark Lord recently. I did not imagine he would let them out on raids so quickly, well, Draco at least." Harry's head snapped out.

"What? What do you mean punished?" Snape looked like he regretted saying anything, but replied nevertheless.

"I know Lucius must have been blamed for our escape. As for Draco, I do not believe he succeeded in his task."

"He let the Death Eaters into Hogwarts, didn't he?"

"Probably, but I do not think that that was all he was up to. In any case it seems he has not been punished as long as Malfoy senior, which is interesting." Harry felt his hands itching to go to his dragon necklace. He was so used to pulling at it when he thought of Draco. He wanted to run upstairs and write a long rant on the messaging parchment. He also wanted to cry at the injustice of it all, not to mention learn more about how Lucius had been punished. That thought was actually quite appealing. "Thank you for informing us," Snape nodded to Tonks. She rose to leave, casting a worried glance at Harry, but not saying anything. Obviously, he didn't look very talkative.

"No problem. I know you would want to know. I'm worried about him myself. He is my cousin after all… Oh, by the way, could you come and make a statement about the dead Death Eater? Don't worry, we'll keep you safe and only floo back and forth." Snape agreed and they left through bursts of green flames. Harry trudged upstairs, thinking about Draco and not looking where he was going. He was outside the drawing room when Ron and Hermione rounded on him.

"What was that about? Why did you stay down there?" Hermione asked, before Harry could come up with an excuse Mrs. Weasley strode out of the drawing room and clapped her hands together.

"I think it's time we all go down to dinner." Her tone broke no argument, but Harry felt compelled to. He didn't really feel that hungry anyway.

"We need to see Dumbledore, Mrs. Weasley, especially if he's awake right now."

"Even if he is awake, Harry, I'm sure he's not up for much talk. You need to eat and he needs to rest. Now come along." With that she resolutely ushered the three of them downstairs again, Mr. Weasley and Ginny bringing up the rear. Molly didn't say anything about Snape missing, so Harry supposed Tonks must have informed them about the statement. She quickly set the table with a spell and floated the many dishes over. Harry tried to keep his mind on several things; the good food that tasted like ash, the fact that he needed to talk to Dumbledore, but most likely couldn't because the man was on death's door, the remaining horcruxes they were probably never going to find. None of it distracted him one wit this time. He couldn't keep his thoughts at bay. Draco's eyes, full of fear, filled his mind, even though he had never actually seen the Slytherin truly afraid. He kept shifting in his seat, wanting more than anything to just see the messaging parchment, even though he knew it would be blank.

Thankfully, everyone just assumed he was worried about Dumbledore and left him alone. Dinner was a subdued affair.

As soon as Ron and Hermione were finished, Harry having hardly eaten anything, they excused themselves and made their way upstairs. Outside the bedroom where Dumbledore was resting Hermione suddenly stopped, taking out the lion and handing it to Harry.

"I think you should speak to him on your own," she said by way of explanation.

"But why?" Harry frowned. Ron didn't comment at all, but looked a little relieved that they weren't going in.

"It's always been like that, all year. You talk to Dumbledore and then you can tell us what we need to know later. I really think that's best," Hermione said, nodding for emphasis. When Harry still looked uncertain she added: "I think Dumbledore would prefer it that way as well." Harry finally acquiesced and watched them walk quietly down to the drawing room again before knocking softly and entering. Poppy was seated in a chair right by Dumbledore's bed. The old wizard was actually propped up slightly and listening to whatever the healer was saying. When Harry entered he smiled and Poppy turned.

"I need to speak to you, Headmaster," Harry said, casting a nervous glance at Madam Pomfrey. He didn't really want to throw her out, his house or not.

"Albus, remember?' Dumbledore reminded him with a kind smile. 'Poppy, would you leave us for a moment?" The healer nodded and rose, patting Harry's shoulder before leaving. Harry had kept the lion behind his back, but now he brought it out and was surprised when he heard a soft intake of breath from Dumbledore. He went over and sat by the bed, holding the small figure out. "Poppy did question me whether or not I had given you permission to leave Grimmauld Place," Dumbledore said, reaching out and taking the lion to study it more closely. Harry suddenly realised the Headmaster hadn't exactly given _permission_. He had told Harry to go to Godric's Hollow after he was dead.

"I didn't think it wise to waste anymore time, sir," Harry stuttered.

"Albus," the man corrected again, his eyes never leaving the lion as he held it up right before his eyes. Dumbledore couldn't be that mad if he was still insisting Harry call him Albus, though, right?

"Do you know if it's…" Harry trailed off, remembering that he hadn't put up wards. He quickly pulled his wand and did the best he could, blushing slightly when the Headmaster gave him an encouraging nod and a word of praise. "Is there a spell to check for a horcrux?" Dumbledore lowered the figure and placed it on his lap.

"Not exactly. A horcrux is very rare and obscure magic, as you know. However, there are spells to detect dark magic and artifacts. I think one such spell will serve us now. This is most definitely Gryffindor's. If it is full of dark magic we will know for sure." Harry nodded, another thought occurring to him as he did.

"Sir- I mean… Albus." The name sounded very wrong on his lips, but with Dumbledore's smile he continued. "What exactly… is it? The lion I mean. Is it just a statue, or is it magical in itself? All the others seem to have a secondary purpose, well we don't know what the last on is." A slight shadow of the usual twinkle came back to Dumbledore's eyes as he smiled amusedly at Harry.

"I believe, Harry, that this was Gryffindor's bookend. One of two, the other of which was destroyed centuries ago. With both I believe they cast some protecting charms over the books being held in place. Alone it is simply an ordinary bookend." Harry stared a long time at the Headmaster, waiting for the man to laugh, perhaps? He looked down at the lion curiously and noted that it wasn't exactly the right size, though magic could no doubt change that, and the way it reared up it could stand just so against a row of books. The idea, however, was amusing for some reason and he couldn't help a chuckle escaping.

"That's…" Harry shook his head, actually smiling.

"There aren't many artifacts left from the founders," Dumbledore explained with a similar smile on his face. "Even a bookend is worth a lot."

"So how do I do the spell?" Harry asked. Dumbledore slowly took out his own wand from behind his beard of all places.

"I think I will be able to perform it. I will have Severus teach it to you later, but for now I think we want to know as soon as possible." Harry frowned slightly, but couldn't bring himself to question the man's strength. If he said he could do it then he probably could. "Do not, of course, tell Severus why you need it. I think he can come to a reasonable conclusion on his own." The Headmaster waved his wand and said a few words in Latin. It was longer than a usual incantation. The effects were rather anti-climatic. In fact nothing whatsoever happened. Dumbledore, however, was looking very pleased.

"Does that mean what I hope it means?" Harry asked.

"Indeed it does. This is just an ordinary bookend… well, far from ordinary. It is a thousand years old, after all. I would so have liked to see them together. They used to guard the Headmaster's private collection you see. Lion guardians," Dumbledore mused aloud, back to studying the lion.

"Well, at least you have one," Harry ventured, thinking the Headmaster actually looked a little wistful. "It'll look nice in your office." Dumbledore turned his twinkling eyes back to Harry.

"I believe I shall place it on my desk, if you have no objections." Harry shook his head immediately, secretly very pleased that the Headmaster was planning on getting back to his office to place the lion there. Somehow, Harry knew that Dumbledore knew more about his condition than Madam Pomfrey ever could. The Headmaster placed it on his bedside table. Then his eyes grew solemn. "Now, Harry, I believe we have a few things to discuss. First of all, your little adventure today." Harry swallowed. Was Dumbledore angry with him for leaving?

"Don't worry, Harry, I'm not angry," Dumbledore assured him as though reading his thoughts. "I merely wish you to promise me not to go down into the Chamber just yet. I am confident I will recover and be able to join you, but if not then I would still like you to hold off until we are certain." Harry nodded, resisting the urge to jump for joy at Dumbledore's statement.

"I promise, sir- Albus," Harry assure him, starting to warming up to the name.

"Good. Now the locket. I have been thinking on it since I regained consciousness and I believe I know someone we need to ask."

"Kreacher?" Harry tried.

"Exactly. There is a possibility Regulus came back here. We do not long how much time past between his trip to the cave and his death."

"It was Hermione who insisted, actually," Harry felt the need to say. Dumbledore merely smiled.

"I think you should call him now."

"Ok… _Kreacher!_" With a pop the horrid creature appeared, looking just as nasty as the last time Harry had seen him when he placed him at Hogwarts. Before the elf had time to say anything Harry barrelled on. "Do you still keep things we threw away when we were cleaning the house?" Harry demanded.

"Kreacher is taking care of Mistress' things," the elf declared.

"Do you have a locket? Silver with an 'S' on it?" The creature shifted nervously and looked reluctant to answer. "Do you know where it is, Kreacher?" Harry pressed. The house-elf could not disobey for long.

"Kreacher may have some jewellery from Mistress," he said. "Kreacher be trying to keep precious things away from filthy hands!"

"A locket with an 'S'," Harry ground out, gritting his teeth in an attempt to resist hitting the elf. "Do you have it?" Kreacher finally nodded his head, his movements suggesting he was fighting an invisible hand forcing him to do so. "Go get it now and do not communicate to anyone about it." With a pop the elf disappeared. Harry looked back at Dumbledore, startling when he saw how tired the man looked now.

"Don't worry, Harry," the man said. "The potion is affecting me again. It comes and goes, otherwise the purging would kill me instead. I will remain awake for a little while longer." Harry nodded, trying not to let his apprehension show on his face. He suddenly thought of another reason why Ron and Hermione didn't want to come in. It was dreadful seeing such a powerful wizard lying helpless in bed. Harry's head snapped back when he heard the pop. Kreacher was clutching almost desperately to something in his hands, as if he was praying Harry wouldn't ask him to give it up.

"The locket does not really belong to Mistress," the elf said, maybe hoping that was the reason Harry wanted it. "It was Mistress' son who left it once. The good son." Harry held out his hand unmercifully.

"Give it to me." Again Kreacher seemed to be fighting the order, but he did give up the locket. "Go back to Hogwarts and do not communicate to anyone about this," Harry ordered. The elf shot him a nasty glare, but disappeared without more insults. Harry looked at the locket and something stirred in the recesses of his memory. "I think I remember when we cleaned this out."

"Let me see." Harry handed the locket over. Dumbledore was slumping slightly more in bed, but managed to hold the locket and wave his wand again. This time the effects were noticeable. A green light, almost looking like fog, rose from the locket as if it was burning, and a fizzing sound came from it. It vibrated slightly and then everything went still, the fog-like light dissipating quickly. Dumbledore sighed heavily, sounding both tired and relieved. "It is a horcrux." He handed the locket back to Harry, who took it rather reluctantly this time, though he couldn't feel anything odd about it.

"So how do we destroy it?" he asked, glancing from the locket to Dumbledore.

"You'll find a way, Harry. I must sleep now."

"But how did you destroy the ring?" Harry pressed. Dumbledore's eyes were closing.

"I have faith in you, Harry. You destroyed the diary, remember? You can do this. Good night…" The last was said so softly Harry hardly heard it. He sat completely still, listening for Dumbledore's breathing to make sure he was still alive at least.

"Albus?" No reaction. "Albus?" he tried a little louder. He stared at the man for a moment longer and then cancelled the wards. Poppy was waiting patiently outside.

"He's asleep again," Harry told her. She nodded knowingly.

"That is to be expected. I am surprised he stayed awake for so long." She entered the room and Harry heard her perform some diagnostic spells just to be sure. He realised he was still clutching the locket and pocketed it before heading upstairs to his bedroom. He didn't want to discuss things with Ron and Hermione just yet. Dumbledore had said _he_ could do it. Not to ask for help or to make it a group effort. He knew that even if Dumbledore was dying that the man knew what he was talking about. But how on earth was he going to accomplish it?

Entering his bedroom made all thoughts of horcruxes disappear as he couldn't help but cross the room and opened the drawer where the parchment lay. Blank of course. He sighed and closed it again, his hand going up to play with the invisible dragon around his neck. A knock startled him and he whirled around.

"Come in." Snape's familiar head peaked in before the rest of him followed. "Do they need a statement from me as well?" Harry asked.

"No, I took care of it." Harry inwardly sighed in relief, not wanting to deal with any Aurors if he could help it. There was a long silence and Harry realised that was not why the man had come upstairs at all.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" Harry blurted, hating how that acid feeling in his throat rose up immediately when he was suppressing the urge to cry.

"Considering he was let out on a raid, I would say he still has a chance of survival… Harry-" The man cut himself off and strode forwards, enveloping Harry in a welcomed hug. Harry clutched the man back, feeling the tears that had waited to come finally spill forth. "Harry, promise me something," Snape whispered into Harry's hair.

"Ok," Harry sniffed. Snape abruptly let go and kneeled at Harry's feet, taking a hold of Harry's arms and looking straight up into his eyes. Harry had never seen the man so serious and open at the same time.

"Promise me that when the day comes for you to leave here and kill that despicable creature of a man who has caused all this… that you will afterwards look for Draco. Find him before the Ministry does."

"Of course," Harry said at once, his voice full of conviction. "I still love, Draco, Severus. I can't just shut those feelings off. I won't let anybody near Draco until I have the whole story. I won't condemn him before I know everything… and even then I'll still…" Harry's voice broke and he sucked in a shaky breath as he thought of Draco in Azkaban. He didn't think he could let that happen no matter what Draco had done.

"It's ok," Snape said soothingly, understanding what Harry wanted to say. "Thank you… and also… say 'hello' from me if you ever get to see Lucius, would you?" It was perhaps meant as a joke, _perhaps_, Harry thought, but his answer was dead serious.

"You'll get out of here one day too, and then you can help me kill him." Snape nodded grimly and then stood, hugging Harry tightly once more.

"Do you feel any better now?" Snape asked, leaning back slightly so he could look down at Harry while still keeping his arms around him. Harry nodded, wiping at his tears. He had cried in the man's arms more times than he could count now, but he still felt a little embarrassed about it. Snape noted the slight blush. "It is alright to need to cry, Harry, you are only sixteen."

"I'll be seventeen soon," Harry protested weakly. "But…" he moved away from Snape and the man released him at once, allowing Harry space when he needed that as well. "It's always better with you here…" he looked away, the blush stronger now.

"Grieving alone is sometimes difficult. If no one is there it can be somehow less real, and you are unable to move past it." Harry nodded and met the black eyes again, glad Snape understood and could explain it even when Harry couldn't.

"Do you really think Draco will be okay?" he asked. Snape sighed, his face pensive, but not as troubled as Harry had feared.

"Not all of us are Gryffindors, Harry. I admit I fear for Draco more than ever. I had hoped that when he would be allowed out on a raid that he would escape… but perhaps he simply lacks the courage to do that."

"But you're a Slytherin and you're the bravest man I know!" Harry exclaimed, causing Snape to give him an odd look, one eyebrow raised. Harry blushed again, but continued despite it; he _was_ a Gryffindor after all. "You lived as a spy for so long, risking your life every day. You keep calm in almost any situation."

"Almost?" Snape drawled.

"Well…" Harry trailed off. He really didn't want to bring up that incident, but he knew Snape wouldn't allow him to drop it now that he had opened his big mouth. "In the Shack in my third year you lost your cool a little. I remember you yelling at Hermione, but that's not the point," Harry went on before Snape could interrupt him. "I have to hope Draco's brave enough as well as cunning enough to get out of there. You told me that. He'll get out… Dumbledore!" Harry cried suddenly.

"What about him?"

"Maybe Draco wanted to go to Dumbledore, maybe he even tried during the raid, but-"

"Dumbledore is currently out of commission," Snape finished in a murmur. "You might be on to something. He might even have tried to contact me as well and couldn't find me."

Harry suddenly opened his mouth to speak again, to deny what he had just said. He was remembering the parchment. If Draco wanted out surely he would use it? He visibly deflated. Maybe Draco really was too scared to do anything about his situation?

"What?" Snape prompted. Harry shook his head. He wasn't ready to tell Snape about it. In fact he didn't want to because it would destroy what hope Snape had.

"If Dumbledore dies maybe Draco really won't want to change sides, maybe he'll believe we'll lose," he said instead. Snape came forward again and put a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Then I will double my efforts on the potions. Starting right now." Harry looked up at the man and blinked. Snape's offer was actually much better than hearing he should just trust to hope and Dumbledore's strength. He nodded and they hugged briefly once more. Snape retreated back downstairs to his potions work and Harry decided he needed an early night.

Before he went to bed he checked the parchment once more. It was as blank as ever.

XXX

Snape never left his lab unless it was to go upstairs and consult Madam Pomfrey. Harry sometimes overheard them arguing about the best treatment after the purging potion had done its work. Pomfrey usually won, but on some occasions she agreed to the potions Snape suggested. The Potions Master wanted to get the Headmaster better quickly, and Harry could guess why, while the healer of course recommended a longer recovery time. In the end Dumbledore told them he needed to get back quickly, but that they should find a compromise that would ensure he was actually able to function once he did. Neither Snape nor Pomfrey seemed particularly content about it.

Harry could be found mostly in his room with Ron and Hermione. Dumbledore had said he simply did not know how to destroy the locket, and since he was unable to do any research at the moment, Hermione dived in headfirst. Unfortunately it did little good. They discussed it at length, but were reluctant to try anything.

"The diary and the ring weren't really destroyed," Harry mused aloud one evening after dinner. They were in his bedroom, Harry in the chair and the other two on the couch. They kept the room warded almost constantly. "The diary only got a hole in it and the ring was cracked," he finished. He was fiddling with the locket, a habit he had developed quite quickly. It kept him from fiddling with another necklace.

"Yes, we're not looking for a spell to completely destroy it," Hermione finished his thoughts.

"But aren't we looking to destroy what's _in_ it, not the actual locket?" Ron asked, his brow furrowed in confusion. "Where are we going to find a spell like that? Why can't Dumbledore do what he did to the ring?" Harry shrugged. He had no idea. He suspected the Headmaster had used a spell he didn't want Harry to learn, and that he was too weak to do it himself. He didn't want to dwell on that idea, though.

"This is getting us nowhere," Hermione said, closing the large book in her lap with a decisive thud. "Professor Dumbledore is getting better. Maybe he can help us when he's fully recovered." It wasn't like Hermione to admit defeat so easily, but the fact was that they had no idea where to even start. Again Harry felt as though he was the one who was supposed to figure this out. He hadn't told his friends that, but his instincts were telling him that the key lay within himself.

"Let's wait and see," Harry agreed, rising from his chair. Ron and Hermione did the same and took the hint. They politely excused themselves, even Ron seemed to realise when Harry needed to be alone these days. Once they were gone Harry went over to the desk and sat down. Pulling out the drawer he checked the blank parchment quickly before leaning forward, elbows on the desk and the locket in held with his fingers. He turned it around, studying it and pondering.

Voldemort was inside the locket, he concluded unnecessarily. A piece of a soul, an evil horrible soul. To kill a soul you kill the person the soul inhabits. The Killing Curse would be most efficient, Harry felt. But what about a piece of soul, cut off from the body, trapped in an inanimate object? Harry grew nervous whenever his thoughts strayed in this direction. He hadn't mentioned it to Hermione, but he couldn't help but think maybe the Unforgivable curse might be worth a try. A soul was a soul, wasn't it? Maybe he could get a Dementor to suck it out? But there was no mouth, no body to suck from, so that was out. Still, maybe the Killing Curse would somehow push the soul into the next plane of existence, as Dumbledore had called it.

_Avada Kedavra_; those words had shaped his life for so long Harry was loathed to speak, or even think them. But what other choice did he have? Voldemort needed to be killed. Harry would have to use the spell, wouldn't he? He didn't really believe all that crap about how _the power the dark lord knows not_ was love. Sure, Voldemort couldn't stand the emotion; he had been in pain when he had tried to possess Harry at the Ministry, but that didn't mean Harry could just send the guy a Valentine and hope it melted him.

Harry snorted and stood, shaking his head at how ludicrous his thoughts had become. He needed to do something about the damned locket. He wanted it gone before Dumbledore returned to Hogwarts, which according to Snape, if everything went well, was only two to four days away. The key word being _if_ nothing went wrong in the last stages of his recovery.

Making a decision, he pocketed the horcrux and went in search of Snape. Of course the Potions Master was in the lab, so Harry went down to the kitchen and stood shifting nervously in front of the door. He had never been inside; it had been one of the things Snape had "demanded" when he moved in. He needed Snape now, though, and the situation between them wasn't the same as it had been when they had first arrived. He knocked softly on the door, hoping it wouldn't startle the Potions Master into making a mistake. There was a long silence and then a soft voice.

"Come in."

Harry tentatively opened the door and peaked inside. The room wasn't as dimply lit as he thought it would be. A high counter was in the middle, with several large cauldrons on it, some bubbling or simmering. Shelves lined nearly all the walls, filled with either ingredients, bottles of ready-made potions, or books. Several lamps hung from the ceiling. Snape stood behind the large counter, bending over a potion while stirring. He hadn't looked up once. Harry thought the man was most likely counting each stir.

"I hope this is an emergency," Snape managed to drawl even while he counted off the last few stirs. He adjusted the flame underneath with his wand and looked up. Seeing Harry he frowned. "Something wrong?"

"No, not exactly," Harry began nervously, and not just because he had interrupted the man's potion making. "I could come back later," he offered.

"As luck would have it this needs to sit for awhile," Snape said with a wave of his hand. "I would prefer we stay in here so I can keep an eye on it." Harry nodded and took a step forward, feeling as though he wasn't even in Grimmauld Place anymore, not that the house gave him much comfort, but this was almost like being back at Hogwarts, serving detention. Snape seemed to notice his discomfort. "Tell me what you need," Snape said in a soothing voice, though with a slight air of command to it.

"I need to know how to cast the Killing Curse," Harry blurted before he lost the nerve. Snape's nostrils flared slightly and his eyes narrowed.

"And you thought _I_ might be able to assist you in this endeavour?"

"Well, I don't know… have you even cast it?"

"You are asking if I have ever killed someone," Snape said, his voice so cutting Harry winced.

"Look, I just need to know how to cast it. I am suppose to kill Vol- You know Who eventually." Snape studied him for a long time. Harry tried to hold the man's gaze, showing he was determined to learn.

"I know what the prophecy says about that, Harry, but I don't think this is wise. I myself have never cast it, but I do know how it works." Harry didn't say anything about that, but was glad Snape had never cast it. He supposed it wasn't widely used. Didn't mean Death Eaters didn't kill by other means. Torture sprang to mind, but he pushed the thought aside.

"I need to be prepared," Harry stated as firmly as he could under the circumstances. Snape moved out from behind the counter and came to stand in front of Harry.

"The only way to cast the Killing Curse is to _want_ to kill someone," Snape said, his voice sounding like his normal teaching voice, but with a slight edge Harry didn't like.

"I want to kill the bastard," Harry declared.

"I have no doubt, but there is more to it. To use this spell is to literally want with every fibre of your being to destroy, to snuff out life as you would a candle. You must let the emotion fill you, hatred above all else, and then let it loose. Do you think you have that kind of hatred within you?"

"I hate Voldemort more than anyone! Everything is his fault!" Snape nodded, holding up a placating hand.

"I have no doubts about that either, but Harry… some people simply don't have it within them to cast this curse… and I don't think you do. And that is a _good_ thing." He placed one hand on Harry's shoulder and gazed at him intently. Harry looked away, thinking hard.

"How do you suggest I kill him then?" he asked curtly. He heard Snape sigh.

"I do not know. Please don't attempt the curse, Harry… you will become cursed yourself if you do." Snape let his hand fall and went back to his potion. Harry stared at him for a moment before leaving the room and wandering upstairs to his bedroom again.

Placing the locket in the middle of the bed he stood back and drew his wand. This was the only way, he knew it. How else would anybody kill a dark lord? Certainly not by dropping a headstone on his head, fitting though that would be.

Harry closed his eyes as he pointed his wand straight at the horcrux. He delved inside his mind to find the will to kill he knew he had to have. Voldemort. Killing his parents. His mother's screams. The images filled him with emotions, swirling inside him, but no absolute hatred that consumed him. He didn't think it would be enough. He thought of Draco then. He conjured up scenarios of Voldemort torturing him, or killing him. That didn't help much because it wasn't real. Draco had been out on a raid so he clearly wasn't being held captive.

He _wanted_ to kill Voldemort, damnit! He retreated further, desperately searching for enough rage to scream the words, but there simply wasn't enough, he could tell because he couldn't imagine saying the words like Voldemort had said them that fateful night on Halloween. He knew his voice would not hold such a will to destroy, such utter hatred of life. He had heard the man saying the words enough times to know that. He still tried, though, because he simply had to be able to.

His mother's pleas reached his ears then, as if a Dementor was near, but it was just the memory. He heard her pleading for her son's life, his life. He heard her dying as Voldemort said the words. Her sacrifice. It was as if he could feel the magic in his veins, felt the love flow through him as he gripped his wand tighter. He forgot all about the Killing Curse then. He let go of his conscious mind, trying to control everything, trying to _make_ the spell work, and simply let his memories take hold of him. Draco appeared, eyes full of lust, but only to conceal love, Harry realised. The blond had written it once, he remembered. But proof lay in actions, in sacrifice.

He saw a vision next, with Draco in the place of his mother, and then himself as he shielded Draco from a green flash. He saw himself dying to safe Draco, and then the tables were turned and Draco tried to save him. But there were no screams. Then another emotion gripped him. He couldn't really name it as he wasn't really thinking, but he felt this something take hold of him, felt it fill his heart. One thing rang true through his very soul:

If he wanted to stop the scene from becoming a real memory, Voldemort needed to be destroyed.

Lifting his wand, he couldn't remember when he had lowered it, he opened his eyes and focused on the locket. His mind hadn't fully caught up with him, but that didn't stop him from saying the words.

_"AVADA KEDAVRA!"_

A flash of brilliant light shot from his wand, but not green. Instead of the proper colour of the Killing Curse the light from Harry's wand was a pure deep blue. It hit the locket dead on and the horcrux started fizzing like it had when Dumbledore had cast his detection spell. The same green fog rose up and, with a bang like a gunshot, the locket burst open so hard the little hinge broke. Silence settled as the fog dissipated. Harry gaped at his bed, the purple covering slightly singed.

"Harry?" The Gryffindor in question whirled around. He had forgotten silencing wards, and the bang had most likely been heard throughout the house. In the doorway stood Snape, but right behind him he could see Ron and Hermione, both looking very worried. Snape, upon seeing Harry looking whole and alive, narrowed his eyes. "What did you do?"

"I-… I don't know," Harry said honestly, still feeling a bit dazed. "I think I should speak to Dumbledore."

"Are you hurt?" Hermione asked from behind Snape. Harry shook his head. The Potions Master turned and ushered the others in the hallway away. Harry couldn't see who else was there. Once they had retreated downstairs, Snape returned for Harry.

"Come," he said. Harry quickly went to the bed and grabbed the locket. Snape didn't ask about it, but led the way quickly down to the Headmaster's room.

"I need to speak with him alone," Harry said when they reached the door. Snape nodded, but seemed more curious than Harry had ever seen him. "Don't worry, I didn't cast the Killing Curse… at least… I don't think so."

"I know that, Harry," Snape said a little impatiently. "That curse doesn't usually make quite so much noise. You are quite sure you are unhurt?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. The spell… I'll explain later if I can." Snape sighed a little, but nodded and knocked. He asked Poppy to give Harry a moment with Dumbledore. She questioned him about the sound, but Snape gave her some vague answer about a spell mishap. Soon Harry was alone with Dumbledore, who was looking much better and sitting up in bed properly this time. His eyes were curious and Harry swore he saw a little twinkle, but couldn't be sure.

"Harry, my boy, sit down. Does this have anything to do with the strange noise we heard a moment ago?" Harry nodded, a little embarrassed he hadn't put up the right wards. He sat in the chair by the bed and pulled out the locket, now in two pieces. He laid them in Dumbledore's outstretched hand. The Headmaster quickly took out his wand, this time from a side pocket, and waved it over. No reaction.

"Is it…?" Harry began. Dumbledore looked up and now there was a definite twinkle.

"Yes, Harry, you have destroyed the horcrux. Pity the locket was so badly damaged, but that is to be expected. Now, tell me everything you did, including your thoughts and emotions at the time." Harry tried his best to explain what had happened, hoping the Headmaster wouldn't question him too much about actually trying an unforgivable, but he wasn't that lucky.

"Harry…" Dumbledore paused to gather his thoughts. "Although you should not have been trying to use that curse, I cannot in good conscience punish or reprimand you, as you did not technically cast it. I am troubled you thought it was the only solution, but it appears it _was_ the solution, so I suppose it was meant to be."

"But… I said the words and something obviously happened, but I must have done it wrong, surely?" Harry was frowning and looking at the locket in Dumbledore's hand.

"Yes and no. Harry, I believe you may have invented a new spell." Harry's eyebrows rose to his hairline.

"But how is that possible? I used the same words."

"Yes. This is a highly unusual situation, but nevertheless that is the only explanation. Some times, though very rarely, perhaps only once in a hundred years, a wizard creates a spell simply out of pure intent. Usually it takes time and research to invent a spell, but in the beginning all wizards had was intent, you see. You are a very powerful wizard, Harry. You wanted the horcrux destroyed enough to make a new spell to accomplish it."

"And the incantation?" Harry was finding this all rather disturbing, and didn't like the powerful remark. He hated it when Dumbledore or anyone else said that.

"Again, this is unusual, but with your power the intent bended the words to your will. Now, though, you will most likely need to say them again the next time you cast it, to recreate everything fully." Harry sat with his brow furrowed in thought for a long time. There was something on the edge of his mind that was bugging him.

"Sir… why did you ask me to destroy it? Why didn't you wait to do it yourself, or tell me how you did the ring? Did you use the Killing Curse on it?"

"I didn't use that particular curse on the ring, just like you didn't use it on the diary." Harry nodded, secretly relieved Dumbledore hadn't cast such a curse. "As for letting you work on the locket on your own…" Dumbledore's smile was a little mischievous. "I knew you would not defeat Voldemort with The Killing Curse. It simply is not in you, Harry, something for which I am very glad. I thought if you practised on the locket you would find your own power."

"I just invented a spell, or twisted an existing one around, I suppose." Harry swallowed, feeling ill at ease with the whole situation.

"Harry, do you not see?" Harry shook his head tiredly. A part of him didn't want to understand. "Tell me again what you felt and thought before you cast the spell." Harry told him, leaving out everything about Draco and focusing on his mother's sacrifice. Dumbledore gazed at him with knowing eyes, which made Harry a little uncomfortable.

"The Killing Curse is about the desire you kill, simply because you wish someone dead. You, on the other hand, used your desire to keep your loved ones safe. Your love, Harry."

"The power the Dark Lord knows not," Harry murmured reluctantly, his eyes staring into space as he thought back to the blue light.

"Exactly," Dumbledore beamed at him. "I knew you would find it eventually, though I had never anticipated quite this result." Harry shook his head, not disagreeing, but simply overwhelmed over everything: over Dumbledore's manipulations, though that wasn't exactly a surprise, over his own abnormality. Would he ever be normal? He knew spells were invented, but how many teenagers just made one up from sheer will to do something, using words designed for another spell, though admittedly words that had the same effect. It made little sense to him, but he didn't bother discussing it more with Dumbledore. Instead he turned his thoughts to something more pleasant.

"Do you think you'll be up and about soon, sir?" Harry asked.

"I really would prefer you call me Albus, Harry. You have earned it, I think, but I will not force you of course." Harry blushed slightly, but nodded. "I think I'll be back at Hogwarts before you know it." Somehow the Headmaster didn't seem so enthusiastic about that. Harry was instantly reminded that Dumbledore had wanted to die, but only agreed to the potion because he was unsure about the locket. Now it was gone, but apparently the man had come to the conclusion that there were still a few things for him to do.

"So, when you're back there we all go to the Chamber?" Dumbledore nodded.

"Give me some time to sort things out. In the mean time, stay here." Harry promised he would and then Poppy knocked on the door, coming in with a tray of food. Harry excused himself and went downstairs. He found Ron and Hermione and gave them a look signifying he'd explain later. To the others he gave the same excuse Snape had given Poppy. He remained silent the rest of the day, his mind going over every aspect of what had happened. He knew it was important to remember it. According to Dumbledore he would use that very spell on the other horcruxes as well as Voldemort himself. He felt more confident now that he knew what he had to do, but he still didn't like the thought of killing.

-:-

Note: This was written long before the seventh book came out, so all this theorising seems a little silly now we know what "really" happened. Part of me wanted to re-write it, but then I felt all nostalgic over it and kept it. Remember all the crazy theories everyone had? Well, this was one of mine I guess. Hope you enjoyed it!


	14. Chapter 14

Note: sorry for a long wait, but as usual, here is a looong chapter to make up for it. I will finish this very soon, I promise. I cringe when I read the original of this- it was so full of clichés I'm amazed anyone bothered to read it. Not much better now, but toned down considerably. Descriptions from the Chamber of Secrets is from the movie, cause I think I had just watched it and it was fresh in my mind at the time.

_Chapter 14. _

Harry had only managed a few minutes alone in his room before he heard a knock. He lay on the bed, feeling very tired. Perhaps the spell had taken all his energy.

"Come in," he said with a yawn. Snape poked his head in first as usual and then stepped inside. He had an unreadable expression on his face.

"I wondered if you could explain what happened now. It seems you've told everyone it was an accident?" Harry shrugged, though you couldn't really tell since he was lying down. It wouldn't hurt to tell Snape about it, would it? He just wouldn't mention the locket.

"I, um, invented a new spell," he said, sitting up in preparation for a long talk. Snape's eyebrows rose to dizzying heights and Harry had to stifle a snicker at the sight. Before Snape could ask more or reprimand him for laughing he continued. "It wasn't exactly the Killing Curse, but it had the same effect… just, um, different motivation." Snape regarded him for a long time and Harry shrugged again to show he had nothing more to say. If anything Harry thought he looked impressed. "I guess I really do have to kill him now," Harry sighed. Snape finally came over to the bed and sat down, one hand resting on Harry's shoulder. He didn't say anything, but Harry was grateful for the reassuring hand. Wow, Snape really was good at the whole comforting troubles youths thing.

XXX

A few days later and Dumbledore was leaving Grimmauld Place. He told Harry he needed to ascertain the state of the Order and a number of other things. Harry was actually glad to have some proper rest from everything. It seemed since the cave his nights had been as restless as they had right after the battle at Hogwarts. He still worried about Draco of course, but with Snape and the others now living there he was dealing with it better.

Grimmauld Place also started going back to "normal" in the sense that Order members now started coming again. No one except a select few knew of Dumbledore's illness. Snape being there was good for Harry, but the other permanent residents couldn't quite get used to it. They did try, though, after they got used to the fact that Harry was now the master of Grimmauld Place and wanted Snape there.

Hermione and Ron wanted in on the training of course, though Mrs. Weasley voiced her protests, afraid Snape was teaching them spells not Ministry approved. In the end she understood that they needed to be prepared as they were going anywhere Harry was. Snape was as merciless to them as he was to Harry, only they didn't take the verbal sparring as well. More than once Harry had to jump in and tell them all to just shut up.

Harry still checked the parchment every single day, and he still dreamt of Draco calling for him not to leave him. Lucius sometimes made an appearance, but not as often as before. Maybe, just maybe, Harry dared to hope he could have a good night's rest sometime in the future.

XXX

Severus Snape was not a patient man. He did not hesitate to tell Mrs. Weasley that she had no business coming into his lab and telling him to eat. He also wasn't a very nice man. He didn't hide his smirk when he pointed out a flaw in Ron's chess strategy against his father. Loudly.

But he did have other feelings as well. He worried over Dumbledore. He had refused to let the old coot die on him. He poured his worry over Draco into his potions as well, the outlet he had used all his life when he was going through a difficult period.

The fact that he had worried over Dumbledore, however, did _not_ mean he wasn't capable of wishing the man dead a few days later. 

XXX

"Oh, good. You are all already here," Dumbledore said, smiling as he entered the kitchen. Everyone was seated except for Snape who was just about to disappear into his potions lab, though he stopped short at the Headmaster's appearance. "I have someone to introduce… though I wouldn't want to disturb your lunch."

"Not to worry, Albus. I believe we were just finished," Molly said, looking around for confirmation. She quickly banished the empty plates to the sink and set them to clean themselves. Snape narrowed eyes at the old man, clearly suspicious.

"Ah, good. As I said I have someone to introduce. Someone who will be vital in our continued fight against Voldemort."

"And _who_ exactly is this person?" Snape asked tightly. Dumbledore's eyes weren't twinkling exactly, but they were almost gleeful. He was still standing in the doorway and Harry was sure this new person was hiding just out of sight. He furrowed his brows in thought, wondering who could have been swayed to their side, or perhaps someone neutral from the Ministry? Many were still refusing to do much of anything about the war.

"Now, I need you all to trust my judgement," Dumbledore continued as if he hadn't heard Snape, his eyes going over Ron, Ginny and Hermione in particular for some reason. "I am convinced this person is sincere in their desire to help our cause. And since Severus is no longer able to perform the role as spy, we will benefit immensely from this person's information." Harry's chest was tightening painfully, though his mind was refusing to acknowledge any hope whatsoever.

By now Snape was practically glaring death at the Headmaster. "Albus, I ask you once again. _Who is this person?_" Dumbledore stepped aside and beckoned for the new spy to step forth.

Draco Malfoy appeared in the doorway.

Harry's heart stopped. Had he been of a weaker constitution, it would have been a good moment to faint. As it was, he merely froze.

Draco's face was blank and emotionless. The blond looked paler than the last time Harry had seen him. He was much skinnier too.

"Malfoy!" Ron bellowed, his face flushing in anger immediately. He was silenced by a pointed look from Dumbledore and his father's hand on his shoulder. Ginny glared but didn't say anything. Hermione was studying Draco closely. Harry heart went from standstill to thumping wildly in his throat, though his throat had closed up so much he doubted it would actually jump out, or that he would ever speak again.

After everything. After all this time? Not one mention of anything, and suddenly his boyfriend just shows up like it's a normal social call?

"Draco Malfoy came to me and offered his services as a spy. I have accepted. I want you to treat him as one of our own, indeed he _is_ one of our own."

A spy? Harry wanted to scream bloody murder. No. This was some sick joke. One more way for the universe to fuck with Harry Potter. He could not be "meeting" his boyfriend just to lose him in the war once his cover was blown.

"Albus, have you gone truly insane?" Snape spat, taking a step forward. For the first time Harry saw emotion in Draco's eyes and they flickered up to Snape's face, but it was brief and unreadable. Dumbledore looked calmly at his former spy, perhaps understanding Snape's objections better than anyone in the room. "You cannot allow a boy to spy for the Light! I had years as a Death Eater before I came to you, years to understand how to act before I attempted to fake my way through it instead! He has barely had a month! He is a child and will be dead within the week if you send him back!"

Harry couldn't have agreed more, but he kept silent, watching Draco, wanting to touch him so much it _hurt, _like his hands were on fire. He willed Draco to look at him, but the blond was carefully avoiding it.

"I'm seventeen now," Draco said, his voice as calm and emotionless as his face. His hands were shaking faintly, but Harry saw it. Snape glared down harshly at his former student, but he didn't say anything. He was grinding his teeth, his mouth a thin line.

"I have faith in Draco," Dumbledore stated softly. "This is his choice, Severus." Silence reigned as the two Slytherins stared at each other. Harry didn't know what to feel, what to think. His boyfriend was standing in his kitchen and he couldn't even greet him properly. He was shaking, he realised, from trying to keep seated and not run over to Draco and hug him breathless. No one was paying him any mind, though, so he was safe.

"I would like a word alone with my godson, Albus," Snape said finally, his eyes never leaving Draco's. Harry heard a muttered word or two, and reasoned that not everybody knew that fact. Dumbledore nodded solemnly and they all filed out, Harry trailing behind, trying to catch Draco's eye, but the blond was still as a statue, staring at his godfather. Harry sighed and sat with the others in the drawing room. Ron and Hermione were discussing Draco, but not very loudly as Dumbledore was still there.

Harry was lost in thought, or rather without thought. He felt completely numb. Perhaps this was what it was like mastering Occlumency?

XXX

When the door closed Snape took out his wand and placed wards on the room.

"What were you thinking, Draco!" he yelled. "You will not be leaving this house. You are going to-"

"I'm going to be a spy, like you," Draco stated, his voice wavering slightly, but there was a determined look in his eyes. Snape shut his own eyes. _Foolish child! _he thought harshly. "I thought you'd be… proud," Draco said softly.

"Draco…" Snape sighed tiredly. When had his godson become a Gryffindor? "I would be proud if you had simply gotten out of that bastards claws!" He glared at Draco again. "This is suicide!"

"Don't you get it?" Draco asked, his own anger beginning to show. "It wouldn't be enough."

"Of course it would! Do you really think I would have let the Ministry get their hands on you? If you had just kept out of the way-"

"Would you have me be a complete coward?"

"I would rather you be a coward than be dead! This is the most foolish, Gryffindor thing you have ever done! I thought you had more sense than this!"

"This isn't about doing what's Slytherin or Gryffindor, or even Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw!" Snape rolled his eyes at that and sneered.

"Clearly _not_ the Ravenclaw thing to do," he muttered.

"Will you let me explain?" Draco said, huffing and waving his hands in a petulant way. Snape pursed his lips together, but nodded for him to go on. Draco sighed and looked down at his feet. "I… I've done a lot I'm not proud of… I was trying to protect my family, but it kind of backfired."

"I know that, Draco."

"No you don't! You don't know everything!" Draco glared. He looked like he was about to stamp his foot in a childish manner. Snape remained calm, though he inwardly snorted at the idea of Draco as a Death Eater.

"Then explain it to me," he prompted. Draco continued to glare a few seconds longer, but then looked down again.

"I need to do this, Severus, because I _didn't want_ to become a Death Eater. You have to believe me!"

"I know," Snape said softly and Draco's head snapped up.

"You do? How?"

"That does not matter. I know it was a difficult decision to make. You were protecting your family." Draco looked away again and Snape frowned. He knew Draco enough to know he was hiding something.

"I should have come sooner, but I was afraid. The Dark Lord has only gradually started trusting me with new tasks… actually, I'm mostly making potions."

"Really?" Snape raised an eyebrow.

"Yes… none of the other Death Eaters are very good at it. I _need_ to do this," Draco repeated. "When I found out you were the spy I realised I should have set you as my role-model all along. My father is… fanatical." Snape concluded that was Draco's way of saying he finally understood what a vicious and insane bastard Lucius was. "I don't want this life, and I want this war to end, so I'm doing what I can. You can't stop me." When Snape didn't say anything Draco finally looked up. They stared at each other a long time. Snape place a hand on Draco's shoulder.

"I'm proud of you." Draco nodded several times, eyes suspiciously glossy, but didn't say anything. He turned without a word and walked upstairs, Snape following closely behind him. Dumbledore was in the entrance hall.

"You are needed back?" he asked softly so as not to wake Mrs. Black. Draco nodded. "Then I will see you at our next agreed upon meeting." The Headmaster quickly left. Snape nodded once to his godson and then walked up the stairs. Draco opened the front door and walked down slowly down the steps.

XXX

"Where is he?" Harry asked the second Snape entered the drawing room.

"He left," was the flat reply.

"What!" Harry was out of the chair and out the door in three seconds flat.

"Harry!" Ron called after. He and Hermione rose and followed quickly. Harry bounded down the stairs and ripped the front door open. Mrs. Black started screaming, but he didn't hear her.

"Draco!" The blond stopped dead at the end of the small path, just inside the wards. Harry ran out of the house as Draco turned slowly around. Harry stopped right in front of him, still shaking from the effort of not touching his boyfriend. "How could you just leave like that!" He couldn't help it, he glared. He felt hurt and betrayed all over again.

"Harry, you don't understand-"

"What? That my boyfriend, who I've been worried _sick_ over since he _disappeared_ with a bunch of Death Eaters, suddenly visits my house and then leaves without exchanging two words with me! No! You can bet your _arse_ I don't understand!"

"Harry, calm down," Draco pleaded. Harry took a deep breath and tried to do just that. "Harry, I told you, I'm a Death Eater."

"And I told you I still love you, you git! How _dare_ you make that decision for me!" Harry's calm was short lived.

"Harry, I'm a Death Eater! I've already killed for him, don't you see? It was me! I killed Nott, all right! And now my mum's dead too, so I didn't even manage to protect her! I work for the man who wants you dead!" Harry took a deep breath, suppressing the urge to hit Draco over the head with something. Suddenly the events of the battle made a little more sense. Nott had fallen down the stairs after a stunner. Draco probably didn't mean for that to happen. He wasn't a killer. He had fled because he was afraid.

"Draco… did you open the Room of Requirement that night?" Harry asked, staring intently into the grey eyes. This was the question he _needed_ the answer to. Draco sighed and looked away.

"No, but that doesn't mean anything!" Harry couldn't hold back any longer, he grabbed hold of Draco and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Merlin, Draco. Do you have any idea how insane I've been going? I want you to explain everything to me, but not now obviously. Right now all you need to know is that-" Harry broke off so he could hold Draco at arms length, shaking his shoulders for emphasis. "_I love you_."

"How?" Draco asked. His eyes were more shiny than usual and his voice was barely above a whisper.

"You think nearly three years can just be forgotten in one night? As far as I'm concerned you haven't done anything wrong yet-"

"Nott," Draco protested weakly, as though it pained him to point it out.

"Nott fell down a flight of stairs, but that's not the point. I love you and I want to hear you explain everything for once. No more secrets. Can you do that?" Draco nodded jerkily, not meeting Harry's eyes. "I don't like this spying business, but I can understand why you're doing it. Please start sending messages with the parchment at least? I can't stand worrying about you." Draco actually sniffed slightly before he spoke.

"Okay." Harry moved his hands to cup Draco's face. Those grey eyes met his and Harry almost felt his own tears spill when he saw a tear leak out from one of them. He leaned in and then he was kissing Draco again. Kissing him softly at first and then more desperately. Draco's hands slid around his waist and pulled him close. Harry thought the kiss was rather wet, but that was because both were crying now, but it didn't matter. They kissed like they never wanted to let go, and Harry really didn't.

"I love you too," Draco said softly when they broke the kiss, their lips just an inch apart. "I never stopped. Never. I didn't want to betray you like that. I just didn't know what to do."

"Sh, it's okay," Harry whispered against his boyfriend's lips. He felt like a great weight had been lifted from him. The tiny hope he had refused to let go of was dancing for joy. He kissed Draco again, intoxicated by the familiar taste he had missed so much.

"I have to go," Draco said when they broke apart again. "He's expecting me." Harry shivered slightly and very reluctantly parted.

"Be safe," was all he managed to say.

"I will." And then Draco stepped through the wards and Apparated. Harry caught his eyes just before they disappeared. They were full of love, not fear. Harry was very grateful for that. He sighed and closed his eyes, willing his body to stop shaking.

"Harry?" Hermione's voice drifted over to him and he jumped. He whirled around to face the door and saw his two best friends standing there, staring at him in shock and worry. Behind them stood Snape, his face betraying nothing. Obviously he had been the one to shut Mrs. Black up. Harry hadn't heard a word of the insults. Harry took a deep breath.

"Draco Malfoy's my boyfriend," he said on the exhale.

There was a loud thud as Ron fainted.

XXX

After they revived Ron, they gathered in the drawing room. They all shot glances at Harry like he suddenly had three arms and two heads. Harry sat in a chair so he wouldn't have to sit beside anybody. Snape sat closest to him on the couch, his eyes scanning the others instead of Harry, as if hoping someone would try something.

"Tell me it's not true, mate," Ron said, sounding a tad more pitiful than Harry thought necessary. Harry nodded while answering.

"It is. Draco and I got together at the beginning of fourth year. Only Severus knew, I don't know when he found out, but he did… I'm pretty sure Dumbledore knows as well."

"But Harry," Hermione began, her tone suggesting Harry had simply misunderstood something a homework assignment. "He's been _awful_ to you for years. Especially in fourth year with the Triwizard Tournament! And what about Umbridge?"

"Well, the 'Potter Stinks' badge was actually my idea, though I admit I only suggested some sort of insult. As for Umbridge… um, I actually told him to be merciless." Harry couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw something like respect in Snape's eyes as he glanced at Harry. "I'm sorry he had to be awful to you guys too. But I was afraid his father would… react badly." Ron snorted loudly at that.

"Doesn't matter now does it? He went off to join his father and now he's come back because he misses-"

"He's hasn't _come back_," Harry spoke over Ron, glaring the redhead into silence. He was pretty sure he did not want to hear the end of Ron's sentence. Molly was looking sternly at her son as well. "He was never gone. He just got mixed up with trying to protect his family, and I believe he was scared to remain at Hogwarts because of the accident with Nott."

"You believe that was an accident?" Ron asked incredulously.

"I am waiting to hold off judgement until I hear everything from Draco. Dumbledore has accepted him as a spy for the Light. My _boyfriend_ is out there risking his life as we speak! I understand you don't like him Ron, but I swear if you question his allegiances I'll do something we'll both regret!" Silence settled over them as Harry glared at Ron. No one argued with him, though now they looked a tad scared. Harry sighed. "I love him." With that Harry rose and left the room. Everybody stared after him before their eyes turned to Snape. He rose and surveyed the room.

"I suggest you get used to it. It took me about five calming draughts to resist hexing both boys when I found out. I don't believe I have enough for you all. Whatever has passed, I know they need each other. Draco may give many reasons for his return to the Light, but I know for a fact that without Harry we would still be without a spy. And I know Harry needs Draco, or else we are all lost." Snape whirled around, his robes billowing in their characteristic way, and left the stunned group to think it all through.

XXX

_I am writing this in the hopes that you will read it before I have to wipe it clean. Most likely I can only leave it on for a few hours, even if I always keep it well hidden. I thought it better if I explained some things on the parchment. No secrets this time. I'm leaving nothing out._

I did work on the cabinet all of last year. I did get that task from the Dark Lord. My other task, I don't know if you've found out, was to kill Dumbledore. The Dark Lord threatened my family and I was trying to protect them. I had to "try" to kill Dumbledore while I pondered my options, which were practically nonexistent. That said, I'm sure you realise Katie Bell and Weasley suffered because of me. I don't know if you can forgive me. I wasn't thinking straight and I truly believed Dumbledore would spot the pathetic attempts before anybody got hurt. For what it's worth, I am sorry.

It took most of the year, but by the end I decided I was not strong enough to kill Dumbledore or allow the Death Eaters into Hogwarts. I could not kill even to save my family. Weaker still was I when I kept silent about it. I should have told you; instead I made one last desperate attempt to save my mother by writing her a letter. I thought I was dead no matter what I did.

On the night of the battle I was, like the other students, told to stay in the dorms because of the supposed troll, but didn't believe it. Our rooms are in the dungeons, sounds travel easily, and I heard nothing as a snuck out. I was going to destroy the cabinet. Fate is full of evil twists, don't you think? I realised quickly Nott had opened the Room. He had been spying on me, most likely all year, yet I was too distracted by my tasks and other things to notice. That was my fault. He confronted me and told me what a disgrace I was. I hit him with a stunner. He fell. I killed him. In the ensuring panic and the Death Eaters' sudden departure I was swept up with them and left. I regret that more than anything.

One fortunate thing happened. Nott, in his desire to outwit me, had not informed the Dark Lord of his plan. He did not want to bring only accusations of my disloyalty. He wanted to hand over Hogwarts and myself on a silver platter. I think it is a characteristic trait in all Death Eaters to want all the credit for themselves. I do not know how he got the message about the cabinet out. Because of his death I took his plan and made it my own. I took the credit. I was punished for my failure in my other task, but luckily the Dark Lord needs a potion brewer.

If not for Snape's departure I would most likely not be here. Funny isn't it? My father, on the other hand, did suffer because of your escape. He is still being punished as a matter of fact, though I can't say it bothers me much. His fanaticism is just one of many hard lessons for me this year.

I know it does not mean much after you have learned all this, but I did not intend for this to happen. My mother is now dead, and my only consolation is that my letter was not the cause as it was never found. The Dark Lord said simply: 'She deserved it.' I do not even know if she attempted to leave the country.

One last thing, though you may hate me now: I love you. I would ask your forgiveness if I deserved it. I hope at least we can work together to kill that bastard once and for all.

XXX

Harry read the letter again and again until it was suddenly wiped clean before his eyes. He took out his quill immediately and wrote quickly so Draco would see it before he put the parchment away.

'_I forgive you.'_

There was no answer, but as Harry cleaned the parchment with a wave of his wand he felt warmer than he had in weeks. He felt stronger as well. He could hardly wait for Draco to return. Yes, together they would kill the bastard.

XXX

When Harry finally braved the rest of the house Ron and Hermione confronted him almost immediately. Thankfully, though Harry suspected it was well planned, Snape remained in the same room and Harry refused to go anywhere else. The Potions Master's presence seemed to make Ron and Hermione a tad reluctant to discuss Draco's current situation, but it didn't stop Ron from bringing up practically every hurtful thing Draco had ever said or done at Hogwarts, as if trying to convince Harry Draco Malfoy simply _couldn't_ be his boyfriend, and that he had to be cursed and was delusional.

"Look, I know what Draco did, but he did it because we _both_ agreed to keep up the pretence. Just give it up, Ron." The pair would then exchanged a glance that Harry interpreted as: '_He's gone round the bend. No use helping him.'_ Harry suggested a game of exploding snap and pretended nothing was amiss.

This scene repeated itself about once every few hours until Harry was sure he had gone round the bend.

XXX

"Ahem," Snape cleared his throat as he entered the drawing room. The Trio had split up and all sat reading a different large volume. They were doing research about the remaining founder, Ravenclaw, since they guessed the last unknown horcrux might have something to do with her. They all looked up as the man entered. He stepped into the room and to the side, the movement reminiscent of Dumbledore in the kitchen a few days earlier. It still came as a surprise, however, when Draco stepped tentatively into the room, his movements much more nervous than last time.

"Draco," Harry couldn't help exclaim. He jumped up and ran over to his boyfriend. The fact that he could do it now without having to worry about anybody seeing made the impulsion that much stronger. He pulled the blond into a quick hug, not wanting to make Draco too uncomfortable. He smiled at the shocked Slytherin. "I was worried." He snorted at his own statement. "I'm always worried. How long can you stay?" Draco let his eyes scan the room quickly before resting on Harry again. He cleared his throat.

"I have a report to make to Professor Dumbledore, but I don't know when he'll be here. I have an hour and a half at most."

"Can we go talk?" Harry asked at once.

"Eh… sure, I guess." Draco sounded defeated. Was he afraid of what might be said? Harry ignored the tone, however, and grabbed his boyfriend's hand, dragging him out of the room and up the stairs without a word to anyone.

He paused when they reached his bedroom, but quickly made a decision and sat on the sofa. Draco sat down, squirming uncharacteristically.

"Did you, eh, read my message?"

"Yes, didn't you get my reply?" Harry asked.

"Yes, but I'm not sure I believe it." Harry sighed and tried to think of a way to convince Draco. He wanted to ask a few questions himself. About Draco's time with the Deaths Eaters, about his punishment and about Nott, but he pushed those questions away for now. He scooted even closer, one hand going up to brush back some hair from Draco's face. The fair blond obviously hadn't used his usual hair-care products since Hogwarts, not that Harry could really tell the difference. It was still soft to his touch. Finally the grey eyes, though they looked more like silver now, locked with Harry's.

"You made a few mistakes, Draco, but none of them are unforgivable. Nott was an accident, I know it even if you didn't say as much in your message. Because I know you, and I know you didn't really want to be a Death Eater. What you're doing now only proves you're trying to atone for those mistakes."

"I should have destroyed the cabinet earlier, I should have come to you-"

"And I should have been more forceful when I questioned you. I knew you were up to something and yet I continued to ignore it. Even Ron and Hermione were suspicious." Draco looked away again, shrugging once. The movement caused Harry to let his hand fall to Draco's shoulder.

"My actions aren't your responsibility," Draco said stiffly. Why on earth was the boy so insistent?

"Draco, for Merlin's sake," Harry took a breath to keep his voice from rising. "You can't make me hate you, or blame you for Nott's actions, or anything like that. I'm a Gryffindor remember? I'm stubborn." Harry thought that should get a slight curl of the lips at least, but Draco turned sad eyes back to him.

"I'm not. I wasn't strong enough to face what I did. So I fled." Harry was really tired of all the guilt, though perhaps he wasn't one to talk when it came to that particular emotion. He pulled Draco against him, whispering fiercely in his boyfriend's ear.

"You're a Slytherin, you did what you thought was best at the time. Now I don't want to hear another word about it right now. After this war we'll have our whole lives to remind each other of the things that aren't our fault. Now, will you just accept that I love you and kiss me?" Draco pulled away slightly, but only so he could look up at Harry with wide eyes.

"Our whole lives?"

"Yes… that is, if you weren't lying in your message about loving me too?" Draco shook his head quickly, his hair shaking with the movement.

"I wasn't lying."

"Good," was all Harry said before leaning over and kissing Draco softly. The softness didn't last long, though, as Draco's hands came up to hold the back of Harry's head. The blond pressed his whole body against Harry's and forced Harry's lips apart with his tongue, though admittedly Harry put up little resistance. Almost as soon as Draco had delved inside, however, the now almost frantic blond retreated and started kissing his way along Harry's jaw and down his throat.

For a moment, Harry was transported back to all of their passionate meeting in their little room at Hogwarts. It seemed like a lifetime ago now. Draco seemed to have decided that his guilt could be alleviated with kisses.

There was another, darker part of him that was transported elsewhere and he stiffened slightly. Draco didn't seem to notice. He continued to pepper Harry's jaw and collarbone with kisses.

"I do love you. I do. No more secrets." Harry heard the words, but they were murmured and mostly lost in the haze of his mounting arousal. Draco was unbuttoning Harry's shirt now and trailing kisses down the exposed skin, still murmuring. "I'm so sorry. I never meant it. I was scared. I'm Slytherin, I couldn't help it. But I love you. I never meant to hurt you." Draco was done with the buttons now, about to move to Harry's trousers. Harry was hard, but for some reason he felt hesitant.

"Draco," Harry moaned the name, and it felt good on his lips again, breathed out in relief. There was no reason to hesitate. He lifted his hips obediently when Draco pulled off his jeans and boxers in one go, delicately removing each sock after before moving up Harry's body again. Draco was on his knees on the couch now, kissing Harry again while his arms snaked around Harry's waist, pulling so that Harry was lying more properly on the couch. As Harry grabbed the fabric of Draco's robes to pull him closer he suddenly realised Draco was still wearing Death Eater robes and abruptly pulled back.

"What is it?" Draco asked, frowning at the look on Harry face.

"Get undressed. Quickly," Harry said, praying Draco wouldn't press for more information. He really didn't want Draco on top of him wearing that. Draco, however, didn't question, but got off quickly and pulled off his robe. He wasn't wearing muggle clothes under, which would certainly _not_ be Death Eater style, but he did have boxers on. He quickly got them off while Harry shrugged off his shirt completely. Draco quirked one eyebrow at him.

"Perhaps we should move to the bed?" Harry was staring at Draco's naked form. It was thinner than last time he had seen it, and the skin colour didn't look all that healthy, but Draco was still beautiful. It took awhile before Harry heard the question.

"Oh, yeah." He scrambled off the couch and they both moved to the bed, lips locked and hands roaming by the time they fell onto it, Draco underneath this time. Draco was kissing him frantically again.

Harry made his hands roam everywhere, feeling Draco arch and shake beneath him. He focused on the mewling sounds he managed to extract from his boyfriend, and the way Draco's eyes rolled back in his head when Harry pushed the right buttons. He didn't even notice he was focusing so much on Draco, he was barely hard himself anymore, but that didn't matter. He moved down Draco's body, intent on his prize.

"Don't stop," Draco moaned. Harry focused all of his attention on drawing out pleasure from Draco. He felt like he was exploring the pale body all over again.

It was perfect. Harry allowed himself to believe it for just a moment. Draco finally went boneless in his arms. Harry crawled up and slumped down beside Draco, drawing the cooling body close.

"I don't want you to go," he said, hugging Draco tighter for emphasis.

"I have to," came the soft reply. Harry didn't answer. He knew Draco needed to put things right, to atone, even if Harry forgave him everything. There was a soft knock on the door. Harry quickly pulled the end of the sheets, managing to cover most of them. He had forgotten wards again. The thought made him blush. At least Draco never got louder than his usual soft moans and whimpers.

"Eh, who is it?"

"The Headmaster is here," Snape's voice drifted through the door.

"I'll be right down," Draco called. He still waited for Snape's retreating steps before moving. He sat up and Harry did too. They looked at each other for a moment.

"You didn't-" Draco began, but Harry silenced him with a soft kiss.

"Another time," he whispered. Draco got up and put on his clothes; Death Eater clothes. Harry watched passively.

"Come back," he added just before Draco left. The blond nodded once before closing the door. Harry flopped back down and squeezed his eyes shut.

Perhaps it had been easier to worry about Draco and not know, than to let him go into danger over and over again. Perhaps.

Harry waited in bed for a few moments before getting up and putting his clothes back on. He hoped he would catch Draco before he left. Walking all the way down to the entrance hall he tried to smile when he saw Draco shaking Dumbledore's hand, their last exchange of words done in whispers due to Mrs. Black. Draco must have sensed Harry for he looked up as Harry came down. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he nodded to Harry and then walked out the door. Ron and Hermione, along with Mr. Weasley and Ginny came down the stairs, no doubt going down to the kitchen for dinner. Harry didn't even notice them.

"Be safe," Harry whispered as he drew closer to Draco. He leaned in before his boyfriend could answer and pressed his lips to Draco's. "Love you." When they parted Draco nodded and left quietly.

Harry ignored the stares from the others, but it was starting to get on his nerves. Dinner was a subdued affair; the tension could be cut with a knife. Harry didn't really understand how they could be so slow in accepting this, nor did he want to.

XXX

As usual the Trio sat with a large book each, though Harry could almost _feel_ when Ron began paying more attention to him than to his book. Harry braced himself for another round of '_Point out all of Draco's faults'_.

"Why'd it have to be him, Harry?" Ron practically whined. Hermione continued to read her book, but Harry could tell she was at least partially listening. Harry debated whether to just ignore it like he usually did.

"I love him," he said. He had said it enough times around them now that he didn't even blush. He still kept his eyes to the page, though.

"But why? He's the ferret!"

"If you mean he's soft and good for a snuggle, then yes," Harry drawled, sounding scarily like Snape, or Draco for that matter. He had been spending too much time with Slytherins obviously.

"Harry! That's not what I meant. He's, he's-…" _A Death Eater_. Harry had warned Ron about saying it, and the redhead was trying not to. Harry lifted his gaze and pinned Ron with a glare.

"Why do you think we kept it secret, Ron? Because I wanted to make you _faint_ when you found out?" Harry knew it was probably a little low to throw that in Ron's face, but he was just too angry. Draco was out there right now risking his life and Ron just wouldn't let it go. Hermione was a bit more subtle about it, but she was basically just letting Ron say all the things she couldn't. "We didn't tell anyone because Draco's father would probably _kill him_ if he found out! Draco risked a lot just being with me! And now he's out there risking his life for _our side._ Why can't you just get that through your thick skull?" Ron had flushed with anger, and perhaps a little embarrassment at the fainting remark. He opened his mouth to argue back, but was interrupted.

"What's going on in here?" Harry whirled his head around and his face broke into a grin. Remus was standing in the doorway, a bemused smile on his lips, though his eyes were serious.

"Remus!" Harry got up and went over to greet the last Marauder. Remus wouldn't take just a shake of the hand, however, and pulled Harry into a hug. Since Harry was a little more used to hugging now he didn't protest. When they parted Remus had a tinge of worry in his eyes.

"Who is risking their life just to be with you?" Wasn't it just typical that Remus had to catch just that bit of the conversation?

"Eh-" Harry began, only to be cut off by Ron.

"Draco Malfoy," he grumbled. Harry sent him a nasty glare.

"Oh," Remus blinked. Harry sighed.

"Look, I don't really want to get into another screaming contest over Draco. Can I explain later?" Harry sent Remus his best puppy-dog look and the older man smiled.

"Certainly, Harry," Remus said, then seemed to remember himself. "I'm here to bring you to Hogwarts, actually. I have a portkey with me to take us directly to the front gates. Dumbledore will meet you there." Harry, Ron and Hermione exchanged glances, all thoughts of arguing forgotten in lieu of the task at hand. They got up to follow Remus to a more spacious part of the room where the furniture wouldn't get in the way.

Harry's heart gave an uncomfortable flutter when Remus pulled out a small bag and revealed a stump of rope, just long enough for them all to grab on to. He steeled himself, remembering that this was Remus and they were going to Hogwarts this time, not to some horrible graveyard.

XXX

Dumbledore was leading the way towards the third floor girls' bathroom after they had said goodbye to Remus. Harry thought the Headmaster looked stressed, something he didn't really think was possible. Then again Dumbledore had been sick for quite some time. He was probably still catching up.

"We could go down there alone, sir, if you don't have time. The Basilisk is dead, after all," Harry offered. Dumbledore cast a smile in his direction.

"I think I have time for this, my boy." They didn't say anything more until they were all standing in front of the sinks. Harry shifted nervously. He hadn't thought he would be afraid to go down there again, but he was. There were a lot of bad memories. He pushed the fear away and stared hard at the little snake on the sink.

"_Open up_," he hissed and this time the opening appeared at once. Dumbledore stepped closer and looked down.

"You simply jumped down last time, correct?" Dumbledore inquired. Harry nodded, then added a yes when he realised the Headmaster was still looking down. Harry saw Ron holding Hermione close out of the corner of his eye. He wanted to ask them to stay behind, but knew they wouldn't hear of it. "I think perhaps I will call for Fawkes' assistance. I am not quite young enough to be sliding down into such places." Harry silently agreed, mentally adding the Headmaster shouldn't be going down at all.

It took some reassuring from Ron that it wasn't that far of a drop before Hermione followed them. The "children" decided to slide down and let Fawkes take Dumbledore alone. Once at the bottom the Headmaster cast cleaning spells on them, which Harry was very grateful for.

They crept over the fallen rocks. Harry couldn't help checking on Dumbledore. The man seemed more fragile than before, but that was to be expected. The Headmaster had no problems, however, and soon they were back in the Chamber Harry had had a fair few nightmares about.

"Holy Merlin," Ron breathed just as Hermione gasped. Harry only cringed slightly. The Basilisk lay where it had fallen, its form preserved fairly well except for the fact that the whole body seemed to have caved slightly in on itself. With the large holes were eyes used to be it looked utterly hideous. "That's a lot bigger than I thought it would be. Bloody hell, Harry!" For Ron to swear in the presence of the Headmaster said a lot about their shock.

"Indeed, Harry. Even I admit to thinking it not quite so big," Dumbledore murmured, his eyes trained on the giant snake. Harry shrugged uncomfortably. It had been sheer dumb luck as far as he was concerned, and Fawkes of course. The bird thrilled just then as if to remind him.

"So… should we just look around?" Harry asked, hoping the others would get over the blaster serpent's size. Dumbledore shook his head.

"This will not be lying around, I'm afraid. We are dealing with a real horcrux now. Remember the locket." Harry shivered involuntary at the thought.

"You don't think there's anything like that down here, do you?" he asked, glancing around.

"The Basilisk, as well as the fact that only a Parseltongue could enter, was good protection. However, Tom Riddle would have wanted even more assurances…" Dumbledore stepped towards the large statue of Slytherin himself. The others followed after, with Harry making sure not to look at the damned snake again. Chills kept running down his spine. "Harry, I want you to try and open the room were the Basilisk came from." Harry eyed the statue. Dumbledore watched him patiently and Harry forced himself to throw one glance back at the serpent to make sure he was speaking the right language. He walked forward and swallowed.

"_Open up_," he hissed, at least he hoped so. He glanced back at Dumbledore who nodded that he had indeed spoken the snake-language.

Harry almost jumped out of his skin when the statue answered, without moving its mouth.

"_Who dares demand entry?_" The voice was deep and low, but echoed around the Chamber. The others didn't seem so startled, probably because they had only heard hissing noises. Harry silently cursed himself for being so jumpy down here. He looked to Dumbledore.

"It asked who dares demand entry," he said. Dumbledore frowned in thought. Hermione spoke up tentatively, clearly more nervous than Harry.

"Better not say Harry Potter. Who knows what spells Voldemort cast on it." Harry nodded in agreement. The group fell silent as the two brains of the enterprise thought hard.

"Why not just say it's V-Voldemort?" Ron ventured. Harry shrugged. He honestly thought it could be worth a try, but he waited for Dumbledore's verdict. Still frowning, the Headmaster answered.

"I do not think Voldemort could have tampered with it much. Slytherin was a great wizard, after all… I think perhaps… only a true parseltongue can enter. Slytherin's heir." Harry really didn't want to state he was the heir, but it did make some sense. He hoped there wasn't some way to test that fact. He turned back to the statue, again casting a glance at the ugly snake before speaking.

"_The Heir of Slytherin_," he declared.

"_Then enter now, and take good care of what lies within_." Harry shivered visibly at that, thinking about how he had 'taken care' of the Basilisk. Slytherin had been one nutty wizard, if you asked him. He didn't have time to relay the message before an opening was revealed. It was completely round and probably just big enough for the snake. Harry wondered how they were going to get across the water. Fawkes perhaps?

"Allow me," Dumbledore said suddenly, waving his wand. A strange bridge appeared, see-through and crystal-like. It shimmered slightly and Harry didn't think it looked very sturdy. It spanned across the water in a fine arch. "Only works across short distances, but useful nonetheless. It is perfectly safe." Dumbledore walked calmly across and Harry didn't hesitate then. Ron and Hermione held hands as they just manages to fit beside each other.

The room they entered was completely dark. Harry lighted his wand with a _Lumos_ spell at the same time as Dumbledore. The lights illuminated the room and Harry's stomach lurched. There was no doubt about what lived in this room. There weren't any bones, but that was not what was so eerie about it. Harry could spell the thing. This was obviously just where it slept. The room was large, but not very high. It was round and all of grey stone. There were grooves in the floor and ceiling, going round and round, attesting to how long and how many times the snake had curled its huge body in the chamber. The floor was almost shaped like waves because of the many circles.

In the middle of the room stood a column of stone, standing at about one and a half meters tall. Harry thought it the perfect location to place something of value for the Basilisk to guard.

There was only one problem: The top of the column was empty.

"Damn, it's not here," Harry sighed. Dumbledore sent him a curious look before walking towards the middle of the chamber. The others hurried after. Once they were all surrounding the column and looking down at the flat, and still empty, surface Harry looked up at Dumbledore, waiting.

"Harry, use parseltongue and command the room to show you… its treasure."

"I don't have a snake," Harry said. Dumbledore raised his eyes from the column and they twinkled as he smiled at Harry. He didn't say anything but pointed to the side of the column. Harry lowered his wand slightly and saw a row of snake figures along the side near the top. "Oh," he said, embarrassed at not having noticed. He looked at the snakes and then started hissing again.

"_Show me your treasure_." The voice that answered was the same as before, but this time it seemed to come from all around them.

"_Only the rightful owner may retrieve his treasure._" Harry took a deep breath and looked up at Dumbledore, about to repeat the message. Again he was interrupted. The whole surface of the column vanished. A hole appeared, seemingly filled with water. Harry didn't touch it, but watched as a cup, the ownership of it unmistakable, rose from the water-like magic. It hovered just over the surface and then the magic beneath it turned to stone again. All three students let out a breath they had been holding. Dumbledore murmured something Harry didn't quite catch, but it sounded full of awe.

"The voice said only the rightful owner of the treasure could take it back," he said quickly before Dumbledore decided to touch it. The Headmaster kept studying the cup. Harry noted the badger on the front. Dumbledore took out his wand and cast several detection spells, both on the cup and column, including the one that effectively detected a horcrux.

"It has been tampered with, but not so much that I don't think we can fool it. Voldemort has tried to add other detecting charms on it so that only he could take the cup. Quite remarkable, really, that he managed to combine his own charms with such ancient magic." Dumbledore paused and did a few more spells. "It looks for a magic signature and blood, as well as for parseltongue ability," he stated bluntly. "But Voldemort's is a weak charm because of the interference from Slytherin. Harry, your magic, as you know, is linked to Voldemort. And you are a parseltongue."

"You think it's enough to fool it?" Dumbledore nodded. Harry could see in his expression that there was a 'but' coming.

"There is the blood to consider. As far as I can tell, Slytherins' charms look for purity of blood." Harry frowned.

"But Voldemort wasn't a pureblood," he felt the need to point out. Dumbledore was nodding by the time he was finished.

"Indeed, he must have found away around it. Judging by the fact that he added his own charms, he has been studying this since his school days. We, however, do not have that much time. I think our best chance it to take it together, Harry. My blood and your magic should do the trick." Harry stared dubiously at the cup, not liking the plan one bit. The cave came to the forefront of his mind. At least there wasn't anything to drink this time. Still, he was reluctant to risk Dumbledore like that again.

"What happens if it isn't enough?" he asked, gazing seriously into Dumbledore's eyes.

"We will be found unworthy by Slytherin or Voldemort… I do not think the result will be pleasant." At the slightly horrified looks of his students Dumbledore hasten to continue. "This is the only way. I am at a loss to how Voldemort got around the blood, but we do not have the time it would take to figure it all out." Harry couldn't help it. He shook his head, disagreeing with Dumbledore.

"I'm sorry, sir, but…" _you're too weak as it is_. Dumbledore sighed.

"It will be alright, Harry. We can do this."

"What about me?" Ron suddenly spoke up. Harry saw Hermione's hand on Ron's arm clench. Ron winced almost imperceptibly, but kept his gaze on Harry and Dumbledore. "Me and Harry could fool it." Harry was just as reluctant to risk Ron as Dumbledore, but it made more sense. If it was anything like last time at least Ron could be healed more easily.

"Your offer is commendable, however-"

"Sir, Ron's right," Harry cut him off. He was interrupting the Headmaster! Harry ignored the glare from Hermione. "Ron has a right to risk his life as much as I do, and while I don't like the fact that they insist on coming with me all the time, Ron is better equipped to withstand whatever this thing throws at us, at least… at the moment." Dumbledore was looking at him, his eyes boring into Harry's, but they didn't look angry, just calculating. Harry swallowed. Ron looked rather pale. Hermione looked like she was a second away from either hitting Harry or agreeing with him, he couldn't be sure. "We need you, sir." Harry took a deep breath and went in for the kill. "Please, Albus." Dumbledore blinked and straightened himself slightly as if he had awakened from a trance. Hermione and Ron's eyes were wide. Harry hadn't told them about Dumbledore's request to call him that. Harry held his breath while Dumbledore considered.

"I do not like endangering my students… but since you are already doing this I suppose it would be unfair of me to deny Ronald here. Then there is the fact that the cup will be more easily fooled with two minor's magic. It will perhaps think you one person." _Like when the boat in the cave could carry me along too_, Harry thought. Dumbledore looked at Harry with narrowed eyes, but again they weren't angry. "That was a decidedly Slytherin tactic, Harry. Rather fitting, don't you think?" Harry smiled sheepishly and Dumbledore chuckled. The tension broke.

"So, how do we do this?" Harry asked, looking from Dumbledore to Ron.

"I will count and you to will each grab a handle on three. You may experience some discomfort, but you must _not_ let go." The two boys nodded, though Harry noticed Ron looked a little green now. Harry didn't really care about a little discomfort. Ron had to pry Hermione's hand off his arm so he could step closer to the column. Harry and Ron stood on either side, each had a hand ready. They exchanged a serious and determined glance and then concentrated on the cup, waiting for Dumbledore.

"One, Two, _three_."

Harry grabbed the handle, very thankful Ron reacted at the same time.

The next thing Harry knew was pain shooting up his arm, almost as bad as it could be in his scar. He gritted his teeth, but he heard Ron yell a curse. Hermione was crying something. Pain spread through his body like wild fire. A little discomfort was an understatement.

"Don't let go!" he thought someone shouted. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to ride out the pain, hoping Ron was doing the same. But it just kept building.

"Ron," Hermione's voice reached his ears. "Just hold on a little longer," she sobbed.

"Don't touch them, Ms. Granger. You will interfere with the spell." Harry was amazed he could hear at all.

"Hold on, hold on." Hermione kept repeating. The pain was everywhere now, engulfing him like some poisoned wave, choking him. It was like he was filled with water, but it wasn't water, it was magic. Dark Magic.

"If you let go, the spell will know you are unworthy," he heard Dumbledore warn. He heard Ron's cries again and then he lost the battle with himself and cried out as well. The only thing holding him up was his iron grip on the cup. He didn't think he could open his hand to let go if he tried. A little discomfort was a blatant lie!

Abruptly he fell to the floor. At first he thought he had let go, but he still felt the cup's handle in his hand. The next thing he noticed was that the pain was draining out of him, like blood from a wound. Then everything went black.


	15. Chapter 15

_Note: Second to last chapter. I making them really long to please you :) Or maybe you prefer short chapters... in that case, I apologise. Also, the ending of this is incredibly cliché and reads like a 14-year-olds love-letter. I tried re-writing it, but the scene remains fairly intact I'm afraid. Harry and Draco refused to have it otherwise. Again, I apologise. _

_Chapter 15: The Heart Diamon._

Light came back slowly, the world swimming in a bleary haze in front of Harry's eyes, making him dizzy. There was still a dull ache in some parts of his body, as if he had been filled up with something and then not been drained properly. He opened his mouth and took a deep breath, groaning his lungs hurt as if they hadn't felt proper air in ages; a mixture of pain and relief.

Blinking a few times, he finally recognised the ceiling. The Hospital Wing. Why was he here? Then everything came back in a rush and he groaned again as he tried to flex his fingers that had held onto the cup.

"Harry?" Hermione's head popped into his view. "Oh, you're awake! Madam Pomfrey!" Harry was too tired to wince so he just closed his eyes when she shouted. A moment later he heard the familiar bustle of the healer and her flicking wand.

"Mr. Potter, you need to take some potions. Are you able?" Harry nodded glumly and forced his eyes open before moving to sit up. He wanted answers and couldn't be seen as weak or else the dragon lady might put him to sleep again. She helped him up, Hermione hovering on the other side of the bed with a worried frown. "Drink this." The next moment a potion was down his throat. Then another, and another.

"What happened?" Harry asked when the healer finally moved off him. He reached for his glasses and took in the room properly. Dumbledore came in at that moment and hastened his steps when he saw Harry awake.

"It was awful, Harry," Hermione said, clasping one of Harry's hand in hers. Harry looked over her shoulder and saw Ron lying in the next bed. He looked very pale and sick.

"Is Ron ok?" Harry asked, swallowing past the lump in his throat as the guilt washed over him. Why had he insisted? No matter what he did someone always got hurt.

"Harry." The Headmaster's voice caught his attention. "The spell was much stronger than I had anticipated. It was Dark Magic, flowing through you to search out the traits needed to allow you to take the cup. When Dark Magic goes through a person in such a way, those less familiar with it will feel more pain."

"Is Ron going to be ok?" Harry pressed, starting to feel a panic rising in him.

"He is not used to Dark Magic," the Headmaster said with a frown. "You are much more so because of your connection to Voldemort and your exposure to it. He is also not so… hardened as you when it comes to pain." Harry looked back at his friend and cursed himself for allowing it to happen. "He will wake, Harry… though, I would not have." Harry's head snapped back to Dumbledore, his eyes wide. "You made the right choice, both of you. I fear I would not have been able to hold on. I am still weakened somewhat by our last adventure." Harry nodded, glad at least that everything seemed to have worked out. Then it hit him.

"The cup? Where is it?"

"It is safe in my office. Once those potions you drank have gone through your system we will go upstairs and deal with it." Harry nodded, feeling his wand hand twitch in anticipation. "It is very fortunate that the magic of the spell removed itself. You have only residue left." Hermione squeezed Harry's hand before letting go and moving over to Ron.

"How long was I out?" Harry asked.

"All night, I'm afraid. We didn't fool it completely, obviously, but in the end it gave up the cup because of your perseverance. It is a pity I will not have the opportunity to study the room closer." Harry didn't like the sound of that, but supposed it was pointless to tell the Headmaster otherwise. The old wizard knew he wasn't going to live forever, and the more Harry thought on it, the more he realised how old Dumbledore was. Harry concluded that Dumbledore would stay alive as long as it suited him.

"Mr. Potter," Madam Pomfrey came back from her check-up on Ron. She cast a few spells. "You are healed, but I would recommend-"

"Poppy," the Headmaster broke in. The healer huffed and then sighed.

"Please promise me to rest properly tonight at least?" Harry tried to smile and nod reassuringly at her. It didn't look like she believed him. She bustled away into her office. Dumbledore pulled the curtains around Harry's bed so he could get dressed. Afterwards he went over to Ron and made sure Hermione would be all right there alone. Then he followed Dumbledore up to the Headmaster's office.

Once inside the first thing Harry noticed was the cup standing on Dumbledore's desk. Harry wondered how badly damaged it would be by the spell. He also wondered if he would be able to perform the spell at all.

"Whenever you are ready, Harry," the Headmaster said from behind him. Harry nodded, mostly to himself, and drew his wand, closing his eyes like last time.

This time he didn't start trying to look for the desire to kill. He went straight for the feelings of love he held for Draco. He felt his touch as they made love in their secret room in the castle, heard Draco's voice as he breathed promises all over his skin. It wasn't exactly like last time, but he didn't question it, he just let his imagination lead him. Soon enough Voldemort appeared, almost with an audible pop, and was killing those he loved. The same feeling rose up in him, the need to protect, to save. His eyes snapped open.

"Avada Kedavra!" Blue light shot forwards and hit the badger on the front of the cup. A sound almost like bubbling reached his ears and then a loud crack. When the strange green fog cleared Harry saw there was a big split in the cup, right through the badger.

"Well done, Harry," Dumbledore said as he came forward and picked up the cup. "Did you notice if you did it quicker this time?"

"I knew what to look for now," Harry said, nodding thoughtfully, though that didn't make much sense perhaps. The Headmaster nodded, however, and then smiled at him.

"Ron will be awaking shortly I think. Remus will be taking you back afterwards."

"What about the next horcrux, sir?" At Dumbledore's pointed look Harry quickly added "Albus." It grew easier to say it every time, though it still felt a little weird.

"We will discuss that at a later date. Remember to rest as Poppy suggested." Harry nodded and left, his mind going over everything he had learnt about Rowena Ravenclaw. They had yet to find an artefact that was both still in existence and would suit Voldemort's purpose.

Harry was impatient, but tired, so he tried to put it out of his mind.

XXX

Ron woke up around noon. He had a splitting headache, and felt 'dirty'. With Pomfrey's help he was soon back to normal and they were all portkeyed back to Grimmauld Place with Remus, who was of course invited to stay for lunch after Mrs. Weasley had checked over Ron and Harry. Hermione, Harry noticed, kept whispering in Ron's ear, or sending him glances that made the redhead blush. Harry wondered when they would just fess up and tell him they were together. Or maybe they just didn't think it was necessary. He had pretty much known since Halloween, or at least suspected that they were headed in that direction.

Harry was glad that Ron was now a hero in Hermione's eyes. He couldn't help but feel proud of his friend as well, although he didn't like to think about the fact that Ron was now a little more 'hardened' when it came to pain.

Lunch could have been a nice affair. It seemed like the tension was gone due to Mrs. Weasley's motherly ways, making more food than the entire Gryffindor table could eat and generally fussing over them. She didn't ask where they had been. Harry suspected Dumbledore had warned her not to.

A nice lunch it was not to be, however, because Snape entered the kitchen for a brief moment between potions to informed them that Draco would be arriving later. Harry was glad, but the tension returned with a vengeance. Harry couldn't understand it, or didn't want to. He gritted his teeth when Ron decided he could keep silent no longer.

"I still don't understand how you could be in love with the ferret," the redhead grumbled. Harry glared, but his friend was keeping his eyes on his food. Harry looked around and saw that they were all avoiding eye contact.

"He's my boyfriend, Ron. Deal with it."

"How?" Ron exclaimed suddenly. Glaring at Harry from across the table. "How can I deal with my best mate going off with my enemy? He's Draco Malfoy, Harry! He's been horrible to us since we met him! What about Weasley King, Harry? Don't tell me that was your idea as well?"

"Of course not!" Harry cried defensively. Before he could continue Ron barrelled on.

"But you encouraged him, didn't you? You didn't tell him to stop making fun of your friends! You didn't tell him to shut up when he called 'Mione nasty names! He's a Slytherin! A snake!"

"And I'm a Gryffindor!" Harry yelled, effectively shutting Ron up. "Glad we got that cleared up." He took a deep breath. "Don't you get it? His father would have killed him. Don't you think that's a little more important than a few insults? Ron, we're past school rivalries now. This is war!"

"But, Harry dear," Molly spoke up suddenly. Harry turned wide eyes filled with disbelief on her. "You and Malfoy have been school rivals for so long. Going from that to… well, in such sort a time... it can't be a healthy relationship." Harry opened his mouth to remind them once and for all that he hadn't been rivals with Draco since third year, but someone beat him to it.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake," Snape's voice had them all looking up. He stepped fully into the room, casting glares at everyone except Harry. Ginny was pointedly not looking up from her meal. It seemed to Harry she had taken to ignoring him ever since she found out. Mr. Weasley just looked uncomfortable.

"When will you get it?" Snape drawled. "I have watched them for years from my rather good view at the staff table. I saw when they fought, when they were acting like love-sick Hufflepuffs, and especially when they could hardly keep their hands, let alone their eyes, off each other." That made Harry blush. "I doubt they would have been able to have such a normal relationship if they had told anyone." Harry looked up at Snape, silently thanking him with his eyes. He had been very close to exploding on Molly Weasley, and he really didn't want to do that. Snape acknowledged him with a slight nod.

Just when he was about to continue, screams reached their ears from upstairs.

"Traitor! Liar! You worthless scum! You deceitful knave! Traitor to your blood! Filth! LIAR! TRAITOR!"

Harry jumped out of his chair and ran up the stairs, Snape following at a more dignified pace. When Harry reached the entrance hall the scene made him stop short. Mrs. Black was screaming, as was expected, and Draco had arrived. The strange thing was that he was grinning from ear to ear while Mrs. Black's portrait was leaning up against the wall from her position on the floor.

"Hi, Harry," Draco said over the screeching. "Just thought I'd take her down. Mind if I burn her now?" 

XXX

Draco walked out of the shadows, keeping his hood over his head to hide his hair. He hated spying with a passion already. Being constantly afraid for your life took its toll. He knew he had to do it, though. He had messed up and now he had to pay the price. Making his way as quickly as he could, he stepped inside Grimmauld Place, grateful he was safe, for now.

He must have closed the door too loudly because the curtain hiding Mrs. Black suddenly sprang apart and the woman in question was revealed. Draco had heard her before, but hadn't seen her yet. She opened her mouth to start shouting, but then she spotted him and narrowed her eyes instead.

"Who are you?" she asked with open hostility. Draco looked her up and down, eyes asserting.

"My name is Draco Malfoy," he said with a slight bow of the head. "And you, I presume, are Mrs. Black? It is a pleasure to finally meet you. My mother, Narcissa, spoke of you often, as did my aunt." Mrs. Black kept eyeing him suspiciously, but she did answer, and without screaming.

"Narcissa was a fine witch, Bellatrix even more so. Lucius would be your father, then. I see much of him in you. So, what brings you to my home? Come to join the other traitors and mudbloods living in my house? Desecrating it!" She spat the last few words. Draco gave a dry chuckle, smiling his most charming smile.

"I would not dream of 'joining' them as you say. I hardly want to deal with mudbloods, but I am afraid I have no choice at the moment." This peaked the portrait's interest.

"Really? What do you mean?" Draco leaned in conspiratorially, lowering his voice so only she would hear.

"I am here spying for our cause. I must pretend to like the riffraff living here." His eyes travelled over the painting of Mrs. Black, as if searching for something. "Perhaps you can help me gain their trust? It would benefit yourself as well, of course, as it would help get the blood traitors out of your fine home much quicker."

"How?" Mrs. Black's eyes shone with hope and glee.

Draco glanced around to assure himself no one was listening.

"I have heard them complaining of your presence on more than one occasion. If you would allow me to remove your painting they would no doubt laud me as a hero for ridding them of you."

"I belong here! In my ancestors house! I will not be removed!" Mrs. Black declared, eyes glaring.

"I understand your reluctance," Draco assured her. "But I would bring you to Malfoy Manor. You could chat with the other portraits there. I believe there is even one of your son, Regulus?" Now Mrs. Black looked almost eager.

"My boy has a frame at Malfoy Manor?"

"Oh, yes, everyone in the family has one there. And we are family, are we not?" Draco smiled at her again and this time she smiled back. "I would make sure you had a place on honour in our house. The moment this house is cleared of the filth and restored to its former glory I will take you back here myself."

"You give me your word?" Mrs. Black asked. Draco put a hand over his heart.

"As a pureblood wizard I swear on my blood and the blood of my family." Mrs. Black took a few moments to study him and then smiled almost gleefully.

"Very well. I should be glad to visit Malfoy Manor." Draco nodded and stepped up to the frame. He smiled again.

"Remember to scream about what a traitor I am when I take you down."

"Oh, I shall put on a good show," Mrs. Black smirked. Draco returned it before gesturing to the frame.

"I shall do my best not to damage your beautiful frame, Mrs. Black."

"Oh, you are a proper gentleman, Draco Malfoy." When Draco grabbed the frame it came off as easily as a muggle picture hanging by a string. He held it before his eyes for a moment, his smile slowly turning into a smirk. Suddenly he dropped the portrait, quite deliberately. It hit the floor with a thud and then fell back against the wall.

"Ops," Draco drawled. "Guess that frame of yours is too damaged to hang in the Manor." Mrs. Black stared up at him in shock, which quickly turned to rage as Draco continued to smirk at her. He had since Dumbledore told him of the sticking charm suspected that the key lay in Mrs. Black allowing the removal herself. His smirk turned into a grin and then the portrait started screaming.

"Traitor! Liar! You worthless scum! You deceitful knave! Traitor to your blood! Filth! LIAR! TRAITOR!"

Draco laughed. Mrs. Black had kept her promise about screaming, but he doubted any of the insults where for show. He turned towards the stairs when he heard someone run up them. He grinned widely when he saw it was Harry, very pleased with himself.

"Hi, Harry," he said over the screeching. "Just thought I'd take her down. Mind if I burn her now?"

XXX

Harry gaped at his boyfriend, who was still grinning rather evilly. Snape came up behind him and shouted over the screaming.

"A silencing charm should work now she's not on the wall!" Draco drew his wand and twirled it pretentiously around the frame. Mrs. Black fell silent, though her mouth was still spitting insults no one could hear. Harry was still gaping as Draco turned back, the smugness almost palpable.

"How?" Harry asked.

"Oh, it was nothing really," Draco drawled. "All I had to do was be my charming self and she was happy to let me take her down."

"Ah, of course," Snape said as he stepped up to the portrait, looking down at it like he would one of his potions. "The trick was to have her consent."

"Can I burn her?" Draco said, sounding eager.

"No, I think not," Snape said, causing Draco to pout and Harry to stare fixedly at the pink lips. When Draco noticed this, he smirked a different kind of smirk. Snape was oblivious to the exchange. "I shall banish it to the attic," he said decisively. "One never knows what use we may yet have for her." With a flick of his wand the portrait was gone. The Potions Master turned, took one look at the pair and rolled his eyes. He had seen them exchanging those kinds of looks from across the Great Hall. "Draco, how long can you stay?"

"Hmm?" Draco said, finally looking away from Harry. "Oh, a few hours. I have to get more ingredients, but if you would let me have some of yours I wouldn't have to go to Knockturn Alley. That way I could stay longer." Draco's eyes glided over to Harry at the last bit. Snape was tempted to say no, but even he wasn't that evil.

"Very well. Do you have a list?" Draco wordlessly handed it over. Snape's brow furrowed as he read it.

"Is it for a specific potion?" he asked. Being a Potions Master Snape could remember many lists of ingredients, but far from all. This one he couldn't quite place, but he knew it was not common. He racked his brain to find it, but came up empty.

"No, just stocking up," Draco answered. He was lying, something Snape could tell only because he knew his godson well. He scanned the list once more. Something to do with memory perhaps? Wait- No, impossible. Snape shook his head to clear it. He was getting too paranoid, even for a spy. That potion hadn't been near finished. Besides, a lot of the ingredients didn't belong in that potion at all.

"I believe I have everything you need."

Draco nodded his thanks and Snape swept down the stairs to his lab.

XXX

Harry didn't bother going back down to finish lunch. He led Draco to the drawing room, pulling his boyfriend down beside him on the couch. Draco was still smirking knowingly.

"You want to hear me say how brilliant that was?" Harry asked. Draco leaned in and captured Harry's lips with his own. One arm held the back of the couch, while the other snaked around Harry's waist and pulled him closer. When they broke apart they stayed close.

"I already know how brilliant I am," Draco said. "But I won't deny you the pleasure of telling me." Harry snorted, but couldn't hide his smile. It was wonderful being in Draco's arms again. He regretted not going up to his room, but he had planned to actually talk.

"You're brilliant. Now, how did you do it?" Draco leaned in and stole another kiss before answering.

"I told her the truth, well most of it. I was spying for our cause and I had heard you complaining about her a lot. And of course how you would think me a hero if I took her down… I only lied about hanging her in the Manor." Harry laughed.

"Only you, my Slytherin Prince." Draco felt his heart speed up hearing the pride in Harry's voice when he said that. They leaned in at the same time and snogged languidly. Harry felt peaceful and treasured the feeling, though thinking about how lucky he was for feeling this tranquil reminded him of why he might not feel that way, but this was kissing. Kissing Draco could never be anything but wonderful.

They broke apart when they heard what sounded like a grunt. Ron looked slightly green. Hermione was obviously trying not to look at all.

"Eh, Harry, I was thinking," Hermione began. "Maybe we should ask Malfoy about R.A.B?" Harry blinked, glancing at Draco, who looked back curiously. Harry nodded to Hermione, who sat down on the opposite couch. Ron looked like he wanted to bolt, but Hermione grabbed his hand and pulled him down.

"We need to know when he died, and where, not to mention what Voldemort knows," Harry mused aloud.

"Who?" Draco asked, trying not to wince at the name.

"Regulus Black," Harry said. Draco frowned in thought.

"You mean my mother's cousin?" Draco asked, glancing around at the Trio. Harry blinked again. That thought hadn't occurred to him.

"Yes," Hermione replied. "Do you know anything about how he died or where?"

"No… only that he was killed for his betrayal, though I don't know what he did." The group fell silent for a long time. Draco tried to remember everything he had ever heard about the man. In the end he made up his mind. "But I could find out." Everyone stared at him. He looked only at Harry.

"I don't want you in any more danger than you already are," Harry said.

"I'll be careful. If this is important enough you'll let me." Harry sighed and looked down. They did need to know. Draco put a finger under Harry's chin and gently forced his boyfriend to look him in the eye. "If I can fool one Black off the wall, surely I can find out about a dead Death Eater without rousing suspicion?"

"That was you?" Hermione exclaimed. "How did you do it?" Draco smirked and told the story again. Ron grumbled something unflattering about 'lying Slytherins'. Everyone ignored him, even Draco. He was too surprised that Ron hadn't shouted the insult.

"How long do you have?" Harry asked. Draco cast a quick tempus and calculated.

"An hour at most." Harry grabbed his hand and without another word they were running up the stairs.

They spend the reminder of their time kissing. Harry drew it out, making sure he pleased Draco so that he had to run out the door right after. It wasn't until he was alone that he realised this, however. He only hoped Draco hadn't thought too much about it.

XXX

Draco walked quietly down the stone steps to the dungeons. He flicked his wand and the corridor in front of him was lit up by the touches along one wall. Along the other wall were several doors, old and low with iron bars over the small window on each. Draco liked the dungeons at Hogwarts - though of course he had never been to the rooms Filch liked to threaten the students with, but he doubted they were quite so filled with misery as these dungeons. A virtual underground maze lay underneath Malfoy Manor, the current hiding place of the Dark Lord. Some rooms were only accessible with Apparition. It was a horrible place, old and dank.

The Lord of the Manor was being held in his own cell.

It didn't really feel like poetic justice to Draco. Although he could admit to liking not having his father around, he hated the fact that the Dark Lord had humiliated Lucius, and thereby the Malfoy name, by throwing him down here after Snape's betrayal. He had not been down to visit, having too many nightmares from his own short time down here.

Walking along the corridor to locate the right door, he tried not to let the cold get to him. It was a magic cold, designed to seep into the very core of the prisoners no matter how much they huddled into a corner. Coming to a halt in front of the last cell he peered in through the small window. The sight was one he never could have imagined seeing. Lucius was indeed huddled into a corner, trying in vain to keep warm against his own spells. The irony was defeating.

"Father," Draco whispered, unable for some reason to raise his voice in the gloomy atmosphere. He wanted nothing more than to turn and run back upstairs to the solitary, calming air that was his potions lab. The horrid memories from centuries past lay about the dungeons like a miasma, choking Draco and chilling him as if ghosts were passing through him repeatedly. He doubted it was much better than Azkaban, but only his father would know that for sure.

Pulling out his magic key he quickly unlocked the door and used his wand to push it open. He didn't want to touch anything. He bowed so he could pass through the door and straightened himself after as he looked down at his father. The man had been allowed to keep his clothes, but from the dirt and grime you could not tell what colour the fashionable robe had once been. Lucius raised his head slowly and Draco saw his father was far from broken yet. Clearly, despite its depressing ambience, this place was far less unpleasant than Azkaban.

"Draco, my son." The voice was loud in the small room. It was perhaps slightly humbled since the last Draco had heard it. "The Dark Lord has not thrown you back down here, has he?" Draco was surprised to hear genuine concern in Lucius' voice, his grey eyes widening.

"No, Father. I came to speak with you," Draco answered. Lucius eyes immediately turned cold as the room and he looked away, mumbling something under his breath that sounded like: 'He wants you close, no doubt.' Draco frowned.

"Father?"

"What do you wish to talk about?" Lucius asked, raising his head and staring at Draco with a slightly bored expression. Draco considered how to word his question. He didn't know when his father would be let out. He also didn't know if Lucius would tell the Dark Lord of their conversation. He decided there was no way other than the direct approach. Lucius would know if he tried to manipulate him.

"I want to know what happened to Regulus Black," he stated calmly. Lucius' eyebrows rose.

"Why would you want to know about him?"

"He was a traitor, was he not? I wanted to know how the Lord dealt with him… what we can expect for… other traitors." It was better if Lucius thought Draco was curious about Snape rather than contemplating betrayal himself. He saw in Lucius' eyes that that was exactly the conclusion his father came to. The grey eyes became steely silver.

"He will get what he deserves," he said.

"But I am curious. How did Black die? Was it… painful?" Draco made his voice sound like he was forcing himself not to sound too eager. Lucius studied Draco for a long moment.

"Regulus Black died here at the Manor," he said bluntly. Draco's eyes widened.

"Really? Where you there? Did you use the torture room?"

"No…" Lucius seemed to be debating with himself about how much to tell his son. "I was there, but it happened in the entrance hall. Regulus was under the impression he could steal from the Dark Lord." Draco nodded eagerly, memorising every word Lucius said completely.

"Do you know why Snape betrayed us?" he asked to solidify his motivation for asking.

"He is a coward of course," Lucius said, his tone curt.

"Yes… a pity really. Oh well, he will get what he deserves in the end" Draco turned slightly as if to leave, but then hesitated. "What was it Regulus was trying to steal?" Lucius smiled, the effect ghastly in the flickering light from the torches.

"That is not for you to know," was the only reply. Draco nodded, knowing when not to push his luck.

"Goodbye, Father. I hope to see you out of here soon," he murmured before turning to go, taking immense satisfaction, despite the Malfoy pride, at locking Lord Malfoy in. He left the dungeons quickly, breathing deeply once he was out.

XXX

Draco didn't have the opportunity to go back to Grimmauld Place that day, or the day after. The Dark Lord wanted his potion ready sooner rather than later. Unfortunately for Draco, he wasn't a Potions Master yet. He had never invented a potion. He was naturally gifted at potions making, however, and thanks to Snape's comprehensive notes he was making progress.

There were many potions that the Dark Lord wanted. Some Draco just had to brew from Snape's instruction, but many he had to work on from just half-finished research. Suddenly, the Dark Lord had settled on one potion for him to concentrate on after an incident during a raid.

A Death Eater, close to the Inner Circle, but not a true member, had been caught during a raid, pumped for information on sight, obliviated, and then let back into the fighting. The Aurors didn't want Voldemort to know that they had gained new information. Another Death Eater had witnessed it, though, and Voldemort had been enraged to put it mildly. How often did Aurors employ this method of gathering information? He wanted to know, and he wanted to know soon.

The potions, one of Snape's making, made the drinker immune to obliviation. As Draco put the finishing touches on what he was pretty sure was a potion that actually worked, he couldn't help feel a tightness gripping his chest. He hadn't told Dumbledore about the potion, he hadn't told anybody on the Light side. Why? He wasn't entirely sure, but he just couldn't bare the fact that they would know how much he was helping the Dark Lord.

After testing it, throwing it away and starting over, testing it again (on house elves) and then brewing it again to make sure it wasn't a fluke, he finally felt ready to present the potion to the Dark Lord. It wasn't a meeting he was looking forward to.

It was a special kind of cowardice, he reasoned, that would give the Dark Lord his weapong, but wouldn't admit to it to the people he was working for. A special kind of bravery too, to walk into the Dark Lord's presence.

XXX

"Young Malfoy, are you making progress?" a hissing voice spoke as Draco entered what the Dark Lord was using as his meeting room. Voldemort sat in a large chair at the end of what used to be the dining room. He had spelled a slightly raised platform so he could more easily look down at his cowering victims and followers alike. Draco quickly stepped forward and slid gracefully to his knees, his head bowed.

Draco hated being in the presence of the Dark Lord. He had to keep his Occlumancy up constantly. He needed to be emotionless.

"My Lord, I believe I have finished the memory potion," he said, producing a vial from within his robes and holding it out with a flat palm. He felt it float away as the Dark Lord summoned it.

"Our traitorous Professor did leave something of value behind," the Dark Lord murmured. "You are certain it works?"

"Yes, My Lord," Draco would have been extremely proud of himself if it didn't give the Dark Lord such an advantage. He was such a good little Death Eater. What would Harry say to that?

"I want you to give it to all my followers. I want to know if the Aurors try anything like last time again."

"Yes, My Lord. I will see to it immediately."

Such a good little Death Eater. 

XXX

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore and Draco were gathered in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place. The room was heavily warded against listeners. Draco had just finished telling them about Lucius and what the man had said about Regulus Black. They had fallen silent. Harry snaked a hand under the table and patted Draco's thigh lightly. Draco sent him a look and a small smile.

"Draco, would you wait outside for a moment?" Dumbledore asked, breaking the silence. "There are things it would be best if you did not know. A precaution, you understand." Draco nodded, not at all surprised. He was good at shielding his thoughts, but that didn't mean he should be privy to all things concerning the Order. He left the room silently.

"Do you think Regulus was stealing another horcrux?" Harry asked once the door was closed.

"It is entirely possible," Dumbledore said with a sigh. "We do not know how many he suspected there might be. Malfoy Manor has many well-hidden rooms. Voldemort could easily hide a horcrux there…" Dumbledore didn't seem all that convinced. He looked from one to the other. "Obviously, if he did go looking for a horcrux, Voldemort caught him and killed him on the spot, never finding out that Regulus had already retrieved the locket."

"Fortunate for us, but how on earth are we going to get into Malfoy Manor. After the Ministry raids the wards placed there are almost as strong as Hogwarts." Ron and Hermione gave Harry an odd look. "What? Draco told me."

"I think," Dumbledore interrupted before Ron could say anything. "That there is only one person we could get our hands on who has the information we need." He paused to make sure they were all listening attentively.

"We need to capture and interrogate Lucius Malfoy."

"What?" Harry exclaimed. Dumbledore held up a hand to silence him.

"Obviously Lucius knows what has nearly stolen. He knows the Manor. He could even know about the horcruxes. Voldemort will not leave his most devoted servant in captivity for long. Draco will help us. This is the only lead we have on the unknown horcrux." Harry sighed. It was true. Research wasn't going to help them find where it was hidden, but it was very risky. Dumbledore rose and went to the door, opening it and gesturing for Draco to enter again. He took his place beside Harry, noting the defeated eyes.

"Draco, we need your help."

XXX

Another raid. Draco hadn't been to that many since his job as a potions supplier made him rather valuable, but he couldn't escape them all, and this time he actually wanted to go. His father's punishment had come to a close, finally, and he was to help wreak havoc on a small town with known muggleborn families. Dumbledore knew of course - they had gone over the plan meticulously. All Draco had to do was look for a certain someone, and then play his part perfectly.

He didn't know why they needed Lucius, but he wasn't stupid. He guessed it was about Regulus Black and whatever he had tried to steal.

Once the mayhem started, Draco kept close to his father, trying to keep the contents of his stomach down as he witnessed Lucius' bloodlust. He used non-verbal spells so no one would know he wasn't using the worst hexes and instead just stunning people while Lucius had his back turned. It was risky, but everything he did nowadays was.

Draco scanned the fleeing muggles, willing the Order to arrive sooner. They only knew there was going to be a raid. After Snape's betrayal Voldemort seldom gave them a location more than a few moments beforehand. Finally, Order members and Aurors started popping up. Lucius, predictably enough, didn't bother to run headfirst into the battle, but slinked away to find someone to torture before he knew he had to leave. Draco followed, eyes frantically scanning the duellers around them.

Suddenly, his heart skipped a beat. Quickly pushing the irrational fear away he pulled on his father's sleeve frantically and pointed.

"Look! Potter!" Draco could practically see the thoughts written on Lucius' face -_'My chance at redemption'-_ though Malfoy senior kept his expression blank. As planned, their prey was moving away from the fighting. Draco ran in front of his father, ducking a few curses and then raised his wand.

"_Stupefy_!" Green eyes locked with his for a split second. Draco saw understanding in them before the body tumbled to the ground. He glanced around them and noticed most of the Death Eaters were in retreat. Luckily people were too preoccupied fighting for their lives to notice two Death Eaters.

Draco hurried forwards and stood over his prize, plastering on a smug look as Lucius came to stand opposite him.

"Draco, my son, a good hit." Raising an eyebrow at the praise, Draco didn't need to pretend he didn't know what was coming. Lucius would want to present Potter, would want the credit, and the favour of the Dark Lord.

"Grab his wand," Draco said nonchalantly, keeping his face perfectly masked. Lucius turned towards where Draco had indicated, where the wand had fallen. He summoned the wand to him, catching it in his free hand. He had just enough time to whirl back towards Draco with a look of horror on his face, quickly turning to rage at Draco's smirk.

Draco managed to hear half a shouted curse before his father was whisked away. He pointed his wand down and muttered 'rennervate' before disapparating. Remus woke in the guise of Harry Potter and hurriedly apparated back to the planned debriefing site.

XXX

Harry paced in front of the steps leading up to Hogwarts castle. Ron and Hermione watched him worriedly, but resisted commenting. Dumbledore stood with a pensive look on his face. Harry couldn't believe he was just waiting here while Draco risked his spy status, not to mention life, trying to kidnap his own father.

And of course he wasn't allowed to participate. He was too valuable. His thoughts were cut short as Lucius Malfoy appeared on a heap on the ground, something Harry took immense satisfaction from.

"_Expelliarmus! Confundus_!" Dumbledore said immediately, followed by a stunner. The Confundus charm would help during the Veritaserum questioning. It wouldn't make him confuse the truth, but who he was speaking to and where he was, making it much more difficult for him to fool the potion.

Harry's smile was worthy of a Malfoy, as Lucius eyes rolled back into his head and he passed out.

XXX

After binding Lucius to a chair in the Room of Requirement, Dumbledore woke him up. Lucius, still confused, didn't even register it when Dumbledore stepped forward and tipped three drops of truth serum in his mouth. He started blinking repeatedly as if trying desperately to focus, then his eyes grew dull as he gave in to the potion.

Harry watched from the sidelines, studying the fine features, though harsher than Draco's. He wondered at his own emotionless state. He had expected to feel more, but Lucius' dull eyes gave him nothing.

Ron and Hermione stood even further back.

"What is your name?" Dumbledore asked.

"Lucius Malfoy," the blond pureblood answered, his voice conveying no emotion. Dumbledore seemed to contemplate his next question. He glanced once at Harry before asking.

"Why did Voldemort kill Regulus Black?"

"To create a horcrux."

Harry's mouth, along with the mouths of Ron and Hermione, fell open in utter shock. They had thought Regulus had gone to Malfoy Manor to collect a horcrux. Instead, he had been used to make one. The question was: Which one?

"Why was he considered a significant death?"

"Regulus Black was a traitor, but also a thief who attempted to steal Gryffindor's Lion from the Manor. Voldemort saw it as fitting that his once most loyal follower be used to further his immortality." The group exchanged a glance. Harry saw shock and disbelief in Ron and Hermione's eyes. Dumbledore's looked downright excited.

"And what artefact was used?" Dumbledore asked slowly. Everyone seemed to hold their breath as Lucius revealed his Master's secrets.

"The Heart Diamond."

"What's that?" Harry asked. The question was directed at Dumbledore, but it was Lucius who answered.

"A magic stone set into the engagement ring of Rowena Ravenclaw. It is shaped like a heart. It is also a horcrux." Harry felt excitement bubbling inside him as well now. They knew what the last horcrux was! If Lucius knew of it then he would know of the others and be able to confirm Nagini as a horcrux as well! Dumbledore must have been thinking the same, for he commanded Lucius to give them all up.

"Can you name all the horcruxes Voldemort made?"

"His own diary, Slytherin's locket, Hufflepuff's cup, the Gaunt ring, the Heart Diamond and Nagini the snake."

Harry felt as if Lucius was counting down to Voldemort's demise. They were close, so very close. Lucius seemed a lost and pathetic thing where he sat, spilling his master's secrets without resistance. Harry felt his lungs expand as he gazed on the man without fear. This man was nothing, he told himself. He almost didn't catch Dumbledore's next question.

"Do you know why Voldemort never made another after the failure with Gryffindor's lion?"

"He discussed the number of horcruxes at length with me. He did not know if the number seven would be best utilized with seven horcruxes in seven artefacts, or six artefacts with the seventh piece of soul within himself. After the disaster with the Potters, he decided on the latter."

Harry noted Lucius' left eyebrow was twitching.

"Where is the Heart Diamond located?" Dumbledore asked. Lucius pursed his lips and jerked as if a surge of electricity had shot through him. Dumbledore was staring intently at him. "Where is it?" he pressed. Lucius squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head frantically. Harry couldn't remember the elder Malfoy ever looking so desperate. He would have rejoiced in it if not for the reason why he was struggling.

Why would this be the question he fought? He had spilled the knowledge of the horcruxes without batting an eyelash, but now it looked like he was being tortured.

"Tell us where the Heart Diamond is, Lucius!" Dumbledore ordered. Lucius tried to trash against his bonds, still shaking his head. Dumbledore moved forward swiftly. He grabbed the back of Lucius' head and pulled it back. Lucius' mouth was tightly shut, but Dumbledore put his fingers over the pale nose and cut off Lucius' air-supply. Harry winced slightly, but reminded himself who they were dealing with. They needed to know. Sure enough, the moment Lucius gasped for air Dumbledore dropped another dose of potion on his tongue. The Headmaster stepped back and they watched Lucius pant for a while.

"Tell us where the Heart Diamond is!" Dumbledore commanded again.

Lucius turned dull eyes to them. Harry almost thought they looked sad.

"Within my son."

XXX

Complete silence met that statement. Harry felt as if a ton of bricks had landed in his stomach. His heartbeat sped up. He tried casting his mind around for something to think of, some logic that would disprove or explain Lucius' statement, but he came up blank. He felt panic rising.

Ron and Hermione were gaping at Lucius in shock and confusion. Dumbledore looked grave.

"Explain where the horcrux is in detail," Dumbledore said calmly.

"When Draco was born, Voldemort only had two more horcruxes to make. The Heart Diamond and the Lion. He would use the child of his enemies to create one, and the son of his followers to house the other. It was the perfect way to ensure my unwavering loyalty to him.

"The magic Heart Diamond became a horcrux with the death of Regulus Black. Draco was only a few months old. The diamond was placed within his heart. Draco doesn't even know it's there.

"It cannot be removed without killing Draco first. The Dark Lord made sure of it. The Dark Lord can _accio_ it out at any moment, but the magic stone would lash out and kill Draco first. Any attempts at removing those spells will cause them to kill my son."

Lucius fell silent. Harry's mind was reeling with the information. As he turned slowly to Dumbledore and locked eyes with the Headmaster he saw only one thing: Sympathy. Harry knew one thing right then:

To kill Voldemort, Draco would have to die as well.

Ron was holding Hermione. Both looked horrified. Harry felt numb, as if it hadn't really sunk in. He kept trying to swallow, perhaps hoping he would swallow his tongue and die so he could escape it all.

Meanwhile, Lucius was coming out of his truth serum daze. Slowly his face contorted in anger. He started struggling against his bonds, growling low in his throat.

"You bastards! You will not kill my son! You will never touch him! I'll kill you! I will kill you!" Harry stared at the man who had once tortured him, now showing clear signs of parental feelings. It occurred to him to wonder about whether Lucius actually cared for Draco, or if he was just concerned about his bloodline. Draco, his only heir, completely in Voldemort's control, the perfect incentive for a pureblood to swear his loyalty, and keep it.

"Silence Lucius, or I shall have to force you," Dumbledore murmured. Lucius abruptly shut his mouth, but glared daggers at the Headmaster. "Harry." The Gryffindor shook his head, staring into space.

"I-… We need to get Draco," Harry managed. He swayed on his feet and staggered over to the couch that appeared the moment he required it. He sat down heavily. "He needs to know. He- he has a right to know. We need… I need." Harry closed his eyes and willed his breathing to remain even. He didn't see Dumbledore nod, or notice his departure. He stared ahead and a fireplace appeared, as if the room knew he should have something to direct his eyes at, even though he didn't really see anything.

XXX

It wasn't easy to slip away, especially right after Voldemort's most loyal follower had been taken. The Dark Lord raged, cursing random Death Eaters, killing some. Draco feared for his life. He found the cause of the Dark Lord's rage was due to the fact that the Ministry Aurors were not the ones who had caught him.

Voldemort knew this because he had spies there. That meant that Dumbledore had his hands on the one who knew more than he should ever had been allowed to know, and he knew Dumbledore wasn't above using Veritaserum, brewed by that bastard Potions Master as well. He could only hope Lucius' training to withstand it held.

Draco still managed to get away, though he was a little miffed he did not know why he was being urgently called to Hogwarts of all places. Dumbledore met him on the steps and led him silently to the Room of Requirement.

For a moment, he forgot all about his father and thought this summonning had something to do with the cabinet. When he entered, however, it was to a strange sight. Lucius was sitting bound to a chair, a look of pure hatred on his face. Ron and Hermione stood with wands trained on him, their faces filled with worry as they glanced at the new arrivals. Draco looked to his left and saw Harry sitting on the couch. The Gryffindor seemed almost catatonic.

"Harry?" Draco asked softly as he neared his boyfriend. Had his father said something? Had he told them about the potion Draco was brewing perhaps? Did Harry know how Draco used his skills for evil's benefit? "What's wrong?"

"Draco, you need to know something," Dumbledore said. Draco turned back to the Headmaster, shooting a quick glance at Ron and Hermione, and frowning at their half-horrified, half-sympathetic looks. What in Merlin's name was going on?

"I will tell him!" Lucius suddenly spoke up. Draco jumped slightly. He had thought his father was under a silencing spell. "You will see what your betrayal will bring you, Draco. They will kill you as easily as they would the Dark Lord had they the chance! When did you become a traitor, Draco? When!"

Draco stared at his father and his stomach lurched. He would have to tell them about the potion. They couldn't obliviate his father and send him back now that he had seen Draco, but even if they obliviated him they couldn't send him back, for Voldemort knew of his disappearance already. The Dark Lord knew what information was compromised. Obviously, they didn't intend to give the Dark Lord back his follower. So perhaps Draco's work was still secret.

But what on earth was Lucius talking about?

"Silence, Lucius," Dumbledore said firmly.

"I will not be silent! If someone is to condemn my son to death, I reserve the right!"

"Will someone just tell me what's going on!" Draco demanded, looking from his father to Dumbledore. Dumbledore cast a silencing charm on Lucius before looking Draco in the eye.

Slowly, the tale unfolded, leaving Draco colder and colder as if he had been banished to the Malfoy dungeons. First the ghastly tale of horcruxes, their quest for them, and the one they had yet to locate. As the Heart Diamond and its location became clear Draco's hand came to clench at his chest. Hermione actually had tears in her eyes. Harry had risen from the couch at some point. Draco turned to him, hand still over his heart.

There was only one thing he could think of to say.

"Forgive me." His voice was unsteady. Harry frowned at him.

"What?"

"I lied. I don't love you with all my heart. I can't. For a part of it belongs to Him." He heard Hermione gasp.

"It is not part of you, Draco," Dumbledore said. "It merely resides within you." Draco turned to the Headmaster, his eyes a cold, empty grey.

"You can't remove it without killing me, and you can't destroy it without removing it," he stated.

"No," Harry said, stepping forward. "We'll find a way. We have to." Draco ignored him.

"Take the spell off. I wish to speak with him," he said, gesturing to Lucius. Dumbledore started to protest, but Draco cut him off. "Release him! You all have wands. He is harmless." Dumbledore considered it for a moment, and then nodded. He drew his wand and motioned for the others to draw theirs. Harry, Ron, Hermione and Dumbledore stood in a semicircle behind Draco, who stood in front of his father. Dumbledore released the bindings and the silencing spell. Lucius rubbed his arms where the ropes had held him. He looked up at Draco.

"They will sacrifice you to their cause," he spat. "That is what you get for your betrayal." He looked to Dumbledore. "You will sacrifice my heir, kill the Malfoy line. I hope the Dark Lord kills you slowly." He rose and stood in front of Draco, staring down at his son with intense eyes full of some unidentifiable emotion. Before he could speak Draco asked the question he needed answering.

"Why?"

Lucius snorted.

"Why does one do anything? Power. The promise of the Dark Lord. He would not kill you as long as he thought you a fitting and safe place for his diamond. Do you not remember? How I used to say you were worth more than anyone?" He smiled, the expression disconcerting. "I wasn't lying. The Heart Diamond is priceless, as are you, and I told you that many times, my son, but you threw that all away." He paused. Draco was unable to look away.

"You have disgraced our name more than words can express. Whatever happens your life is forfeit, and our ancient line has ended. But I will not be here to see it end. I refuse. And I refuse Azkaban as well." With that Lucius pulled out a vial, hidden somewhere in his robes, and downed the contents. Draco could most likely have stopped him, hit the vial out of his father's hand, but he didn't. He just watched as his father killed himself. The others in the room were too late. By the time Dumbledore had summoned the vial Lucius was already swallowing. He fell to his knees, still keeping his eyes locked on Draco's.

With a final exhale Lucius fell to the side and died.

XXX

They all gathered in a nearby classroom. Draco didn't really remember how he had gotten there. The Headmaster had transfigured a couch for Draco and Harry to sit on, along with comfortable chairs for the others. Remus was taking care of the body, apparently.

"I must get back soon," Draco said. "The Dark Lord is angry enough as it is. He feared Lucius would succumb to Veritaserum. If I don't return soon he will suspect."

"Are you crazy?" Harry exclaimed. "You're never going anywhere near that bastard again! One false move and he could decide to summon that thing out of you!"

"If I don't return he will assume I am either captured or defected. He will know Lucius spilled the beans and check his other horcruxes. Then he will either disappear or make another one. At the very least you will not be able to get anywhere near Nagini." Draco stared into Harry's eyes as he spoke. He didn't want to die, and he sure as hell didn't want to die for a cause he had never intended to fight for. How did his life get so messed up? What happened to his plan of just staying out of it? He couldn't even remember when he had thought like that. Long before his family had been threatened… and now he had no family. Lucius was dead. Mother was dead. He had no parents. The thought struck him like a bludger.

"Draco," Harry whispered, his voice desperate. He grabbed Draco's shoulders and pulled the Slytherin to him, his arms hugging his love tightly. "This is insane."

"No, Voldemort is insane," Draco said, the first time he had spoken the name. It came easily, the name of a madman, no Lord. Harry pulled back and pressed his lips to Draco's, uncaring that people watched, but desperate for the peace he hoped to find there. The Slytherin returned it briefly before pulling away and fixing his gaze on Dumbledore who sat across from them.

"You will kill me?"

"No one is going to die!" Harry yelled.

"Draco, there is no need to despair so soon," Dumbledore said quietly. "We will research the spells surrounding the Heart Diamond and find a way around them."

"But if that fails and there is no other way. Will you kill me to kill him?" Draco wanted an honest answer. He needed to know. In truth he wanted it to be Harry, but couldn't bring himself to be that selfish, even if he was a Slytherin.

"You're not going back, and we're not discussing killing," Harry said firmly.

"Then I must return," Draco said.

"NO!" Harry pulled on Draco's shoulders again, but Draco shrugged the hand off.

"If Draco does not return we must strike quickly before Voldemort suspects we know of the horcruxes," Dumbledore declared. "That gives us less time to research spells to save him." Harry's shoulders slumped. "On the other hand, while Draco is accomplished at Occlumency I don't think he should go back with this knowledge."

"Obliviate me," Draco said at once, keeping eye contact with Dumbledore. Inside his mind was screaming, but he kept up his shields. He knew in his heart, ignoring the fact that his heart housed pure evil, that there would be no escape. He was going to live as long as he could before Dumbledore killed him. He would also like to know why he was dying.

"No!" Harry protested immediately. He was beginning to sound hysterical.

"Use a memory charm on me. I will go back as if nothing has happened. You will do your research. I will inform Voldemort of Lucius' death. The wards on Malfoy Manor will pass to me. When the time comes I will open them to you and you'll go in with everything you've got." Harry was shaking his head, but Draco ignored him. Dumbledore was studying him closely.

"We will still need to strike reasonably fast. Voldemort will still suspect Lucius caved under Veritaserum." Draco nodded. They were running out of time, and he was running out of life.

"Do it."

XXX

Draco left after having been told of his father's death and the plans to take down the wards at the right time. He liked to think he gave a good performance. Of course, he knew that the moment he took down the wards he was as good as dead. Either at the hand of Dumbledore or Voldemort. Hopefully, Dumbledore would make it less painful. He felt as if fate had told him to keep the memory potion secret. Now he at least knew why he had to die.

XXX

Harry stared at the door of the classroom. Draco had just left. Harry had wanted to punch Dumbledore when he had cast the spell. The dull look in Draco's eyes was horrible. His reaction to his father's death had been oddly empty, though. Harry really couldn't blame him; he was glad the bastard was dead.

"Harry," Hermione's voice drifted over to him. He turned and looked at the others. He had been holding himself together rather well, considering. Now he felt that same feeling he had felt after Sirius had died. It was as if Draco was already dead.

"I-… can't," he said. "It's too much. I quit. I don't want to fight. I don't care if Voldemort lives." He closed his eyes, feeling tears trail down his cheeks.

"Harry." This time it was Dumbledore's voice and something inside him snapped.

"Don't you say anything!" Harry glared at the Headmaster, Albus, the nice old man, future murderer of his boyfriend. Harry would certainly not be doing it. Not even if Voldemort threatened to eradicate the whole fucking world. "You! You think everyone is expendable! To you I'm just the fucking Saviour! Setting test after cryptic test to make me into some killing machine! Sometimes I wonder how much you've really manipulated me over the years. Every person I love dies! And now you want Draco too! Well you can't fucking have him!" He was on a roll now. The windows in the classroom were vibrating slightly. Ron and Hermione looked deathly pale and scared. "You can't have him. I won't let you have him. I- god." A huge sob escaped him. He turned his face away.

"Harry, we can still find a way."

"Shut up! Any attempt to mess with those spells and the thing goes off! I bet even a diagnostic spell to his heart would do it." He heaved a deep breath. Another sob racked his frame. He was having trouble breathing from keeping his sobs in. He didn't want to cry here.

"Fuck off and leave me alone," he managed to mutter before turning and bursting out of the classroom. He ignored Hermione's cries. He ran as fast as he could back to the Headmaster's office. Paintings along the walls rattled and the gargoyle leapt aside much quicker than usual. Harry threw some powder in and flooed back to Grimmauld Place.

Molly wasn't in the kitchen, thank Merlin. Harry pulled the door to the potions lab open and stormed inside. Snape dropped the vial he was carefully filling and his eyes filled with anger, but then he looked up and saw the state Harry was in. He quickly moved around the counter. Harry fell to his knees as Snape came close. The Potions Master dropped to his knees as well and wrapped his arms tightly around Harry as the first sobs came. Snape had seen Harry cry before, on several occasions, but nothing like this. The sobs and wails pierced Snape's heart like nothing ever had.

"What on earth has happened?" he asked, but Harry couldn't stop sobbing enough to answer. The anguished cries filled the room. In between gulps of air Harry finally managed to stutter.

"Draco has to die."

XXX

Snape was unable to get anything more out of Harry. The boy sobbed even as Snape lifted him and carried up the stairs, after a lightening charm of course. Ron and Hermione came through the floo and ran after, but when they saw the state Harry was in they turned back and let Snape take him to his room.

Snape held Harry until there weren't any tears left for him to cry. He summoned a flannel from the bathroom and wet it with a spell. He lifted Harry chin gently and wiped the boy's face clean. Harry squeezed his eyes shut and didn't say anything.

"Now, what are you talking about?" Snape asked softly once Harry was once again resting his head against Snape's chest.

"Draco has to die," Harry said, his voice dull now, as if he had given up feeling.

"You've already said that, but it doesn't make much sense."

"I can't tell you how or why, but it's the truth. Before I can kill Voldemort, Draco has to die." Snape felt a sense a dread settle over him, but refused to acknowledge it.

"How in Merlin's name have you come to that conclusion?"

"I can't tell you, but it's true." Snape could tell Harry truly believed what he was saying and the stoic Potions Master shivered. He couldn't imagine why his godson would have to die for the Light, but obviously Harry knew something he didn't. Harry pushed away suddenly and stood up, staring down at Snape with sad eyes.

"You and Sirius are really alike," he said. Snape frowned in confusion, unable to muster up the strength to be indignant at the accusation due to the fact that he was still in shock. "You're stuck here, like him. You both have godsons you can't save from their fate. No matter how hard you try." With that Harry turned and left the room.

XXX

Ron and Hermione didn't say anything to Harry for a long while when he came down. His eyes were red and puffy from crying. Molly and the others left the Trio alone in the drawing room. Harry was grateful his friends had made the Weasley matriarch reframe from fussing over him. When the silence stretched on Hermione suddenly stood up and sat down on the couch beside Harry.

"Dumbledore is researching spells to save him as we speak," she said. She bit her lip when Harry didn't even look at her. "Harry, I'm so sorry."

"For what?" Harry asked, finally lifting his head.

"For not accepting Draco as your boyfriend. It's clear to us now that you both love each other very much, and that's all that matters." Harry stared at her for a long time, then turned his eyes to Ron, who squirmed under the scrutiny.

"I'm sorry too, mate. I just didn't understand, you know? I didn't realise."

"Thanks guys," Harry said, his voice emotionless. "That means a lot."

"Harry, you can't give up!" Hermione declared, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You've never given up before, have you? We'll find a way." Harry closed his eyes and breathed deeply, searching for some small drop of hope within him. Hermione was right. He was not going to let Voldemort take another. Dumbledore would find a way.

"I'm not giving up," Harry said. Ron and Hermione let out a breath they had been holding. "Dumbledore is researching?"

"Yes, he started right after you left," Hermione said, nodding.

"I guess I should apologize for the things I said to him," Harry said, ducking his head in shame. Dumbledore was already helping Draco and all Harry had done was scream and break down.

"Harry, it's completely understandable. You were distraught."

"Yeah, I was, but I should still say I'm sorry."

"He's coming to lunch tomorrow. You can tell him then."

XXX

_'I lied. I don't love you with all my heart. I can't. For a part of it belongs to Him.' _

Draco sat curled up in his favourite chair, a green wing-backed one sitting in front of the fire in the potions lab at Malfoy Manor. He would imagine Snape sitting in it, drinking elf wine or something similar, or a nice port perhaps. The image comforted him somewhat.

Draco wished he hadn't taken the potion now. Wished he had told Dumbledore, or better still: Simply not have made it work. That was what Snape would have done, Draco was sure of it. The Potions Master would have found a way to make the task seem impossible, and would never allow Voldemort to possess such a potion.

But Draco was weak; he had known that a long time now. Always weak, always afraid. Afraid of the Lord's wrath should he keep telling him he couldn't make the potion.

Now he was doomed to remember what resided within him. All of his predicaments came about because of his weakness… every last one of them.

He fancied he would feel the Diamond in his heart, a stinging feeling in his chest. Of course he couldn't really, but he was so sure that sometimes, when he turned just so, that he felt something.

Did it affect him? It was pure evil, a piece of soul from the darkest wizard alive, right there, in his heart. It certainly explained why Draco wasn't allowed to go out on raids that often. Not because he was needed as a potions brewer. No, he was valuable for a completely different reason. That was why Voldemort hadn't killed him when he failed to kill Dumbledore. He was priceless, only one of six -originally- invaluable, until the moment Voldemort decided he wanted to hide the Heart Diamond somewhere else.

Then there would be a quick accio and Draco would be dead. He wondered if it was painful.

Draco snorted. Of course it would be painful! He was dealing with a madman. Draco couldn't help but laugh when he thought of all the times Mother had called him her precious dragon. Had she known? It was a bitter laugh, turning into a sob half way through.

How many horcruxes did Voldemort belive he still had? The more threatened he felt, surely the more likely he was to rip the remaining one towards himself.

Draco shook himself. No, he would not cry. Blubbering wasn't going to help him. Nothing was. Draco was simply going to ignore the problem until he couldn't any longer. He was good at that, he'd been doing it practically all of last year at school, procrastinating until it was too late. Merlin, he was so weak.

How he longed to have his memory removed.

XXX

"The Dark Lord wasn't very please with my father's death. He hardly wants me out of his sight nowadays."

"We will be attacking the Manor any day now. You are ready to bring down the wards?"

"Yes, Malfoy Manor is one of the most magical residences in Britain, after Hogwarts. The ancient magic is keyed to me. Voldemort's own wards will fall if I chose. I'm not sure if he is aware of that fact, actually. Perhaps Lucius kept that information secret. A Slytherin would always have some secrets."

"Good, good. You have done well, Draco. I will contact you when we are ready." Dumbledore left Grimmauld Place without another word spoken. Draco debated with himself on whether to leave without seeing Harry. Pretending he didn't know in front of Dumbledore wasn't that hard, but he wasn't so sure about his boyfriend. What if Harry caved and told him? He couldn't possibly manage to react in a realistic manner. He couldn't leave, though, and he knew it. He couldn't do that to Harry.

As Dumbledore left Snape came up from his potions lab. They stared at each other for a long moment. Draco wondered if his godfather had been informed. When Snape spoke it was in a soft voice, full of something Draco couldn't quite identify.

"Go upstairs and see Harry." Snape turned and went downstairs again, leaving behind a confused Draco. Clearly Snape knew something, though Draco doubted his godfather had been informed of the horcruxes. He put away those thoughts for later contemplation.

He quickly made his way up to the drawing room, where he was told by a reading Remus Lupin that the Trio were was in Harry's room. He reluctantly climbed the remaining stairs and hovered outside the door a little. He didn't really want to see Ron and Hermione as well. He hadn't had been around them much. He supposed he should tell them what he really thought about them before he died. This could be his last chance to tell them he didn't hate them, and that he actually thought them good friend for Harry.

It seemed like a lifetime ago since he had last contemplated the other two thirds of the Trio. Despite those admissions so himself years ago, he was still wearing Death Eater robes today. Shrugging the depressing thoughts off, he knocked and waited for the 'come in'. Inside he found Harry on the couch. Ron and Hermione sat in the chairs. They all looked like kicked puppies.

"Hi… everything ok?" Draco asked, feigning ignorance. Harry tried to smile and held out his hand. Draco allowed himself to be pulled down beside his boyfriend. "You look awful," he said. Harry had horrible circles under his eyes, which were bloodshot. Draco wanted more than anything to comfort his boyfriend, but he couldn't, because he didn't remember why his boyfriend needed comforting.

"I'm ok. I just didn't sleep." Draco allowed himself to look sceptical, then he turned his gaze to the other two.

"Weasley, Granger," he said, nodding in greeting. They exchanged a glance, but returned the sentiment. "You all look awful. Did you stay up all night? Gryffindor sleepover?" God, they were all looking at him as if he would fall over dead any moment. Or perhaps they were disgusted over the thing inside him?

"Listen, Weasley, Granger," Draco said, mentally preparing himself for what he was going to say. It was now or never, and he didn't really want them remembering him as nothing but Harry's boyfriend – the ferrety git.

"I feel the need to apologize," he began, raising his chin slightly, ignoring their incredulous expressions. "I know Harry and I agreed to keep up the pretence of hostility, but you two were never consulted. I know it probably doesn't mean much, but I stopped meaning all the things I said around the end of fifth year. I am sorry… for everything." Complete silence met his little speech. Draco couldn't look at them anymore and turned to Harry, surprised to see a real smile on the Gryffindor's face. Harry cupped his face softly and leaned in. The kiss was achingly soft and full of such love Draco wanted to scream, but he returned the kiss silently. Draco was even more surprised when Harry licked his bottom lip and delved in the moment Draco opened for him. His Gryffindor took possession of his mouth completely. When Harry drew back Draco looked dazed and windblown.

If that was what he got every time he admitted he was sorry he would have to do it more often!

"Love you," Harry whispered. Draco opened his mouth, but the words stuck in his throat. '_I lied… a part of it belongs to Him_'. Voldemort was literally in his heart. How could he tell the Boy Who Lived he loved him with a Voldemort-infected heart? He quickly made his mind blank. They would suspect if he didn't answer. He glanced at Ron and Hermione to make it look like it was their presence that was embarrassing him. He looked straight into Harry's eyes - crucial when you're lying.

"I love you too." Harry smiled and looked expectantly at Ron and Hermione, the latter was the first to recover.

"Apology accepted, Malfoy. And we're sorry for your loss." Draco nodded in understanding, noting that Ron looked unable to speak so it was probably best Hermione did the talking.

"My father and I were never truly close. It's still weird, having no parents so suddenly, being Lord of the Manor. I always thought I'd have to wait forever to get the title." Harry looked at him oddly, clearly saying he didn't believe Draco wasn't more upset about his father, but Draco really didn't care. The man had killed himself, -though Draco wasn't suppose to know that- and Lucius had been so emotionally distant for Draco's entire life he doubted his father had actually lived on the same planet.

"How long do you have?" Harry asked suddenly.

"Not long. The Dark Lord doesn't like me being gone long for some reason." He pretended he didn't notice the glances that were exchanged.

"Do you think we have time…" Harry trailed off and blushed. Draco couldn't help but smirk. He noticed Hermione was blushing to and looked away as if she found the wall very interesting. Draco leaned in. As a Slytherin he couldn't _not_ tease a Gryffindor.

"I'm sure we have time for something… what exactly did you have in mind, Harry?"

"I think I'll go down to the kitchen," Ron said abruptly, a little louder than necessary. Draco chuckled as the two left in a hurry, but was promptly shut up by another one of those demanding kisses.

"Draco… please… fuck me," Harry asked in between smouldering kisses. Draco gasped, both in surprise at the sensations and the words. They hadn't gone all the way since he had returned. He had enjoyed Harry's attentions of course, but he had missed their proper time together. Harry seemed intent on making it one of their more hurried embraces, and considering his schedule, he would have to go along.

It occurred to Draco then that Harry was doing what Draco once did. When he wanted it fast and hard so he wouldn't think, wouldn't stop to consider what would happen in the morning. The image of Harry in beautiful green dress-robes and a black mask came to him and he moaned into the kiss. He almost wished he still had the mask, but couldn't remember where it had gone.

"Yes," he hissed instead as Harry latched onto his neck. "Hang on. Let me undress. Get on the bed, on your back." He didn't want Harry touching him while he was wearing Death Eater robes. He was tainted enough already. Harry hastened to comply, stripping his clothes as he rushed over to the bed. Draco tossed his clothes aside and watched as Harry got on the bed, naked and impatient.

"Come on," he whined. Draco raised an eyebrow at that- Harry seemed even more impatient than strictly necessary, but he was hardly about to complain. He needed this just as much as Harry. His Gryffindor suddenly leaned over and reached for the bedside table, rummaging around until he produced a small green bottle.

"Where did you get lube?" Draco asked when it became apparent what it was. Harry promptly blushed, so much so that it was noticeable despite him being already flushed with arousal.

"After last time… well… you see… Severus made it," he finished in a rush. Draco's mouth fell open in shock. "He, ah, just put it there, without me knowing, but the jar is one I've seen in his lab before so…"

"I can _not_ use lube my godfather made, Harry… that's some unspoken rule." Harry rolled his eyes, then he abruptly gave Draco a rather seductive look.

"If you won't fuck me then I guess I'll-" Harry never got to finish that sentence because Draco had pounced. He tried to take his time, he really did, but Harry made odd movements at the most inconvenient of moments, something shaking, sometimes jerking away. Draco asked him what was wrong, but Harry grabbed his face, kissing him deeply.

"Draco, I swear if you don't get on with it I'll bloody well scream." Draco did as commanded, and Harry seemed to relax after a moment. He appeared to be in deep concentration throughout, his eyes always piercing Draco with such intensity it was almost distracting.

A thought popped into his head- what if Harry thought it was their last time together?

The thought made Draco convinced it was true- he might never be with Harry like this again, and his libido slowed down considerably. Funnily enough – though it was actually pretty sad- Harry seemed to be slowly down as well, guiding Draco to a slower pace.

They kissed their way to completion, neither having the strength to do anything else. It was sloppy and desperate, and Draco had to remind himself he didn't know he had to die.

He didn't know.

When their breathing had slowed down Draco made to get up, sure he was crushing his boyfriend with his weight, but Harry put a hand on his hip.

"Please, just a little longer." Draco closed his eyes. He wanted to say something along the lines of: '_I'll always be with you._' But that would give the game away. He ignored Harry's plea and pulled out, rolling to the side and gathering Harry into his arms, also ignoring the tears he felt against his chest where Harry's head was resting.

"I keep thinking about this song I think I heard once," Harry said quietly after a while.

"A muggle one?" Draco asked. Harry nodded. "What's it called?" he pressed, though why Harry needed him to ask he wasn't sure.

"You'll be in my heart." Draco used all of his Malfoy and Slytherin training to not stiffen at the words. He hoped Harry didn't notice his heartbeat. He tried willing it to slow to normal. Deciding it wasn't safe for Harry to be lying there Draco gently pushed Harry off him.

"That sounds like a nice song. Maybe we can listen to it some time," he said. "I need to get going." He didn't look back at Harry as he gathered his clothes. When he was dressed he returned to the bedside and pressed a brief kiss to Harry's lips. He left without another word.

"I know I'm in your heart Draco… Voldemort can't have it," Harry whispered to the empty room.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16.

'Draco, are you there?'

'Yes, is this important?'

Yes, well... I miss you.'

'You saw me yesterday.'

'Are you ok? Voldemort doesn't suspect anything, does he?'

'I'm fine. The Dark Lord always suspects, but I don't think he is worried that I'll betray him. I am a Malfoy and my father's son to him.'

XXX

'Was there something else you wanted, Harry?' Like ask me if I feel any diamonds inside me? Like telling me everything will be ok, and I don't have to die after all because my memory has actually been tampered with and all that stuff about horcruxes was just a load of crap?

'No, I just worry. I love you.'

'I love you too.' As much as my infected heart will let me.

'We'll make it through this, Draco. I promise.'

Don't make promises you can't keep, Harry. 'Of course we will. You'll defeat him and we'll live happily ever after like all good stories end.' Except it will only be you, because I'll be dead with a hole in my heart where you should have been instead of Him.

'Could we live together, Draco? After we graduate? I'd like to live somewhere small, but with lots of room outside. Somewhere no one would find us unless we wanted them to. I know you're used to big mansions AND lots of grounds-'

'No, that sounds lovely. To be honest I don't really like big rooms. I like the dungeons at Hogwarts because of the low ceilings. Big rooms make me think of the Manor, and I'd rather not.'

'I'm sorry, Draco.'

'Yeah, we both had less than perfect childhoods. A nice cottage sound really perfect though. With lots of room to fly outside. No one for miles around.' Why am I making plans for a future that will never come? Oh, right, for Harry's sake. Because he thinks I don't know, and needs me to reassure him despite the fact that I'm the one with a Diamond that will kill me as it's ripped from my chest.

'Draco Malfoy, you are perfect.' That's the biggest lie yet. I thought I was the one who had "forgotten" that I've got a piece of fucking Voldemort inside me.

'You're not so bad yourself, Potter. We'll have to remember to have our inevitable fights outside so we don't blow the place up.'

'I'll make a mental note.'

XXX

It had come too soon. Harry wasn't ready, despite Snape's gruelling training. He had not felt this unprepared since the Triwizard Tournament. One spell was what his life depended on, and it wasn't Avada Kedavra, but a protection spell, to protect the heart of a loved one.

"This spell, Harry, is very old. I am hoping Voldemort has overlooked it, as he has done so in the past."

"Hope?"

"Harry, understand that magic is often far from certain. I am trying to give Draco his best chance of survival."

"His best chance would be to simply not remove the Diamond!"

"Harry-"

"I know, I know, alright! We'll probably die anyway if Voldemort remains alive. I know... Teach me the spell."

They were running out of time, and Voldemort had to be put down. Harry felt unease in his gut whenever he thought about it. He was even more nervous because Draco didn't know about the plan, and Harry would have to find him and remove the Diamond in the middle of battle. Voldemort would come for them, so they had decided to strike first in the hope of getting an edge of surprise.

When Voldemort had finally calmed down somewhat from his loyal follower's death he had become more 'protective' of Draco. Now he didn't let the young Lord Malfoy out of his own manor. Dumbledore would only be able to give the signal for the wards to drop. Harry hadn't been able to see Draco at all since his last visit. And after their last conversation on the parchment Draco hadn't contacted him. Harry was afraid to write on it first now because someone might see it. He couldn't know if someone had taken it.

It was all too fast, too dangerous, and too much. Harry's thoughts were a whirlwind of anxieties and determination as he prepared for the upcoming battle. He would be wearing the cloak at first, leading Nagini away and killing her. Hopefully she had been told to stay away from duelling wizards since Voldemort obviously didn't want her to accidentally get hit by a Killing Curse.

Everyone would be there. Dumbledore had secured all Ministry Aurors who could be trusted enough. Order members out on assignment had been called home, though very quietly of course. Stealth and efficiency was paramount.

Harry had never prayed, or even believed in God, and he wasn't sure what wizards believed in. That didn't stop the plea inside him mind repeating itself over and over: 'Please, let it work. For the love of Merlin.'

XXX

Finally, finally the day had come. Snape was preparing to leave Grimmauld Place, and never, under any circumstances, despite the fact it hadn't been as bad as anticipated, would he return. He was going into battle, where he would hopefully die and at long last get the peace he felt he had finally earned.

Despite his good mood at being allowed to leave and fight to the death, Snape had a heavy cloud hanging over him on what should have been a great day. Draco, along with Harry's cryptic warnings haunted him. He had therefore vowed that during the battle he would try and find his godson, and protect him to the death, literally. It was all he could do.

He had a feeling it wasn't going to be enough.

XXX

Draco was ready. That didn't mean he would rather the day never come, but he was ready. He hadn't communicated with Dumbledore or Harry about the Diamond, he couldn't obviously, and therefore he hadn't heard anything about removing it safely. He didn't write on the parchment either. He didn't want to say anymore goodbyes he had to pretend were something else.

He knew the moment he took down the wards he was as good as dead, but he was ready to die on his own terms... a little like his father when he thought about it, but not because he was a coward. No, he was accepting that his death was inevitable. The Light side would take it, or the Dark Lord would kill him for his betrayal.

Draco wasn't ready to die, not for Dark nor for Light, but he was ready to do what he had planned.

XXX

As silently as possible the many wizards and witches hid outside Malfoy Manor. Every one of them knew what awaited them in there: death, most likely, but not before they sent a good few Death Eaters ahead of them. They were trained for battle, and willing to give their lives for the Light.

"Harry?" Hermione whispered to her invisible friend. She felt him brush against her as a reply. "The charm will work. It will protect his heart. You just have to believe." She didn't get a reply to that and sighed. "Good luck." She took Ron's hand in hers and their eyes locked. Ron leaned in suddenly and kissed her hard. Hermione returned the kiss and then their eyes focused on the dark Manor.

"'Bout time you guys admitted as much in front of me," they heard a voice grumble.

They didn't get to reply because the signal to move in reached them.

XXX

"Silence!" Voldemort cried suddenly, instilling instant fear in every Death Eater present. The Dark Lord tilted his ugly head to the side as if listening. There, he had felt it, every ward except the anti-apparation ward fell abruptly. Voldemort hissed in rage and then roared: "Malfoy!"

The blasting of doors and windows and a hoard of witches and wizards swarming into the large room interrupted him halfway through his rant of fury. Immediately the Dark and Light engaged each other. Voldemort watched a moment from his chair as the duelling began, but a sound made him turn and look behind him.

"Nagini, leave and stay hidden. You may have your fill when things calm down," he hissed at the snake. The serpent slithered away, keeping close to the wall as the entire room was filled with fighting humans.

Harry ducked another curse, casting a stunner at a wizard trying to hex Ron from behind while the redhead duelled with another. Harry scanned the room, desperately searching for Draco and Nagini. As his eyes rested on the large open double doors he caught a glimpse of a tail disappearing from view. He followed as quickly as he could, keeping to the shadows. He had never seen so many fighting in such a way. He saw Voldemort rise from his chair as Dumbledore stunned his latest opponent. Harry knew he had to stay focused and ran after Nagini.

As he threw off the cloak and stuffed it in a pocket, he found himself in a salon decorated in a eighteenth century style. He glanced around, but didn't see any giant snake.

"Such a nice boy, come all the way here to Nagini so she can eat you,' a hiss came from behind him. He spun around and saw the snake coming towards him. It had been hiding under the couch.

"You won't be eating me," Harry declared. If a snake had eyebrows Nagini would have raised hers.

"You speak? I thought only my Master spoke. The others are so stupid they cannot."

"Yes, I speak. Unfortunately I don't have time to chat." Harry quickly summoned up the protective feelings he needed to cast the spell. The snake only had time to look at Harry with what he supposed was a frown. "Avada Kedavra!" The blue light hit the snake and its head fell to the floor instantly. It didn't fizz or bang. Harry wondered if that was because it had been an actual being as opposed to an object.

He didn't have time to dwell on that, however, and ran back to the fighting. He needed to find Draco, though his chest tightened painfully with that thought. The battle was raging on as fiercely as ever. Many bodies lay scattered around the floor, some in a horrible condition. Harry couldn't tell which side was winning, but it looked like there were more dark-robed figures on the floor. Since he was visible now a Death Eater spotted him and he had to start duelling.

Draco ducked just in time as a curse flew over his head. He ducked into the dining room, though the fights had spread to there as well. The first thing he thought was that Narcissa would have been devastated with the state of her floors, not to mention the walls with several curse blasts dotting them. All this madness in their house, not a house he loved, but still his home! In that moment Draco was filled with an uncontrollable rage. With a cry he hexed the nearest Death Eater and stunned another in the same breath.

Fighting his way into the thick of things he looked to his right just in time to throw himself out of the way of a monstrously powerful curse. The person it hit, a Death Eater luckily, was propelled across the room and slammed into the wall so hard Draco could hear bones break, along with the man's scull. Voldemort didn't miss a beat as he continued duelling with Dumbledore. Several pairs had stopped fighting and began cowering backwards from the great wizards.

"You are weaker, Dumbledore! I feel it in your spells! You will not last long!" Voldemort hissed triumphantly between curses. When he threw a particularly nasty spell Dumbledore staggered slightly from the force he had to use to deflect it. Draco held his breath as Voldemort immediately pointed his wand at his opponent and screamed a curse there was no blocking.

"Avada Kedavra!" the words filled the room along with the green light. Dumbledore looked on dispassionately as his death neared. Draco couldn't see the man's face from his angle, but his gut still wrenched painfully as the old man fell almost soundlessly to the floor. Voldemort cackled madly. In that moment Draco made his decision. This could not go on. Dumbledore, who had given him a second chance, who had believed he him sincere when he offered to spy, was now dead. There weren't many left who had any sort of faith in him. Who was next? Harry? The one person who loved him despite everything.

Draco didn't want anyone else to die, but he knew one person had to. He could stop it all.

XXX

Harry watched, his face the picture of horror, as his mentor fell. He could have sworn he saw a small smile grace the old lips before the green light hit him. Harry let out a roar of rage. Voldemort was still cackling madly as he turned to him. They were a good distance away from each other, but Harry could still see the smug look on the snake-like features.

"Harry!" Draco's voice called him and he turned to his left. Draco was right there! Harry wanted to run to him, but then he asked something that left Harry very confused.

"Harry, have you taken out Nagini?" The Gryffindor nodded. "Then you have only one more to destroy." Harry was just about to yell at him that he knew a charm that would protect his heart, not even remembering Draco wasn't supposed to know about horcruxes, when Draco pointed his wand at himself.

"Accio Heart Diamond!" Harry watched in slow motion and with wide eyes as Draco lurched as if he had been hit with a bullet. He didn't fall over, but held out his hand as something very small ripped through his robe and flew into his hand. Draco fell to his knees, one hand clutching his wand over his chest and the Diamond in the other. Just before he toppled over he managed to throw the stone in Harry's direction. It landed in between them, right beside the bloodied body of a dead Death Eater.

It seemed eternity that Harry stared at it, but it couldn't have been more than half a second. It was tiny, so incredibly tiny. A white diamond, barely visible where it lay, shaped like a heart. His body was on auto-pilot, that was how he would explain it many days later when asked how he could still fight after what Draco had done. Lifting his wand he thought only of one thing:

Love is in sacrifice.

"Avada Kedavra!" Blue light illuminated the entire room as it hit the stone. There was a sound like a thunder-clap and then the Diamond turned completely black, as if it had been reverted back to coal.

"What have you done!" Voldemort screeched. Harry turned back to the Dark Lord and saw the man was pointing a wand straight at him. Voldemort had moved closer. Harry didn't want to exchange anymore pleasantries. He turned to face the snake-faced bastard.

"Avada Kedavra!" Harry shouted just as Voldemort shouted "Expelliarmus!"

The two spells met in the middle, and something horribly familiar happened. For a moment, Harry's heart sank at the thought that it would all fail, but then he frowned in confusion when a ghostly visage of none other than Voldemort appeared. Then it hit him: The last spell he had cast had been to "kill" Voldemort, or at least a piece of him. Harry looked around and could make out that the others had stopped fighting to watch, Death Eaters and Order members alike. Then he saw the real Voldemort's face: It was filled with fear.. Harry gasped as another Voldemort figure emerged from his wand, this time from the Nagini horcrux. The two Voldemorts were looking at the fighting pair with sneers of disapproval.

Harry's look of shock turned into a smirk when yet another Voldemort appeared. The real one was now looking at the three ghost-like versions of himself with panic written all over his face. Harry made sure to hold the connection now.

"Yes, Tom! I have taken care of all of them! The diary, ring, locket, cup, snake and diamond!"

"NO!" Voldemort cried and pulled hard on his wand. The connection broke and the ghost-Voldemorts, to Harry's surprise, flew towards the real one and encircled him briefly before they dissipated. Harry could have sworn he heard words like 'Fool' and 'Idiot' before the three were gone and Voldemort was on his knees, shaking. Harry was panting from the effort of holding the connection so long. He reacted too late when Voldemort suddenly jumped back into action.

"Accio Dumbledore's wand!" The wand in question flew into Voldemort's waiting hand and Harry was filled with cold fury. How dare he! He was so angry he tried summoning the Headmaster's as an act of pure rage. It was a very big mistake.

"Expelliarmus!" Voldemort cried even as he easily deflected the summoning charm. Harry was thrown backwards from the spell and was unable to hold onto his wand. He slid across the floor and groaned as pain shot up his spine from the impact. He managed to raise his upper body so that he was resting on his elbows. Voldemort smirked at him as he stepped forwards slowly. The whole room seemed to be holding its breath.

Fuck, Harry thought, he was dead. He was at the Dark Lord's feet without a wand. There was no way in hell he was going anywhere, except to hell, obviously. Voldemort's eyes were glinting at him. They were red, but Harry knew the last colour he would see would be green, like his mother's eyes.

Suddenly he felt a smooth piece of wood slide into his hand. He gripped it, wondering who was alive enough to pass it to him. They were obviously behind him and pretending to be dead. Voldemort's eyes were locked with Harry's so he hadn't seen.

"Kill him once and for all, Harry." Draco! He would recognise that voice anywhere. He almost broke eye contact in his shock. The voice was very weak. Voldemort seemed to notice something was happening because his eyes narrowed to slits. Harry raised his wand with seeker reflexes.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Voldemort's face contorted in shock and fear just before the blue light obscured it. In the next moment his very dead body made a thud in the silence. That was the final thing heard from the Dark Lord. Harry looked at the now empty eyes for only a moment as he took a deep breath. Then he turned away, still on the floor, and gasped when he saw Draco lying directly behind him. The blond was lying on his stomach, his wand hand outstretched.

"Draco?" Harry whispered, tears starting to fall again. A light-headedness came over him suddenly and his vision blurred. He didn't rightly know how much power it took to cast his self-made spell, but casting three so quickly was obviously not a good idea.

"Draco, please, wake up," Harry cried, scooting closer and sitting up. He turned the blond over and laid his lover's head in his lap.

"Harry," an almost inaudible whisper passed Draco's lips.

"Draco! You're alive," Harry breathed, blinking several times as he tried focusing. It wasn't working. He swayed slightly and clutched his head.

"I'm not so sure about that," was the last thing Harry heard before falling backwards, luckily blacking out before his head hit the floor.

XXX

A soft red-tinted light flickered on the inside of Harry's eyelids. He felt warm and soft all over, which was nice because usually when he came back to consciousness with a foggy memory he would have pains to remind him. There wasn't any pain now, though, only sluggishness that made it difficult to think.

He managed to draw a deep breath, feeling his lungs expand and thereby becoming more aware of his body. He didn't notice it, but he fell back to sleep several times before he managed to open his eyes. He tried focusing, but of course he didn't have his glasses, and the ceiling wasn't one he could recognize with or without them. He guessed St. Mungo's correctly, though the bed felt rather softer than anticipated from a hospital bed. The place still had that mixture of potion smells and air of forced silence.

He slowly reached out towards the bedside table, and thankfully found his glasses. He put them on and the room came into focus. The first thing he noticed was Snape, sitting in a chair by the foot of the bed, right between Harry's bed and the one next to it. The man was staring at the hands in his lap. Harry was reminded of the last time he had woken up with Snape sitting next to him. It was comforting to know the Snape he knew now, and that things wouldn't be awkward between them. Snape was sitting there because he cared, Harry smiled.

"Severus?" Snape's head snapped up. It took a few moments before Snape reacted.

"How are you feeling?" Harry did a mental check on his body again. He felt fine, but the longer he stayed awake the clearer his mind became and he frowned as things began to come back. A terrible flashback made him swallow hard. Draco... but he had been alive hadn't he?

"What happened to Draco?" Harry managed to ask. Snape looked to the other bed in the room and Harry followed his gaze, gasping when he saw the pale face of his boyfriend visible on the pillow, the rest of his body covered by the fluffy duvet. "How-… how is this possible?" Even as he said it he was trying to get out of bed and reaching towards Draco. Snape rose and put his hands on Harry's shoulders.

"Harry, calm down. You're still weak-"

"I am calm," Harry said, sounding a bit childish. "I just need him." Snape sighed and helped Harry over to Draco's bed, actually lifting the covers so Harry could get under, which the Gryffindor did eagerly. He quickly snuggled close to his boyfriend, one arm around Draco's waist and his head resting on a shoulder. "Draco?"

"He won't wake yet," Snape said, coming round the bed so he was in Harry's line of sight, bringing the chair with him and sitting down.

"But he'll be all right?"

"Yes."

"How is this possible?" Harry asked again, gazing up at his love's face in awe. A great weight left his shoulders. Draco was alive and was going to stay that way!

"Since I was not informed how Draco was doomed in the first place I have no way of knowing how it is possible he avoided that fate," Snape drawled, then seemed to soften. "How are you feeling, Harry?" he repeated.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired. But what happened?" Harry asked.

"I do not know the whole story, and I suspect I never will. All I know is what the medi-witch told me. Draco was overwhelmed by a surge of raw magic from within him, but it was not his own, and he suffered from a very small cut that went right into his heart. The healers examined it and found that something had actually travelled out of his body, rather than stabbing into it. Can you explain that?" Harry sighed and snuggled in closer; just to make sure Draco was really there. He closed his eyes and thought. He had no idea why Draco wasn't dead. He knew without a doubt that he hadn't managed to cast the protection charm.

"I can't tell you everything, but I guess you deserve to know something. Voldemort hid the key to his immortality inside Draco. It couldn't be removed without killing him. During the battle…" Harry closed his eyes and images threatened to engulf him. "Draco summoned it out of himself before I had a chance to cast a protection charm on his heart. I don't know why he's still alive." They remained silent for a long moment while Snape digested the information.

"Why would he do such a foolish thing?" Harry heard Snape ask. He wasn't sure if the man meant Draco or Voldemort, but he suspected the former.

"I never got to tell him about the charm. He thought he was as good as dead no matter what."

"I see… perhaps this will explain some things." Harry opened his eyes and saw Snape remove a letter from a pocket. He held it out to Harry, who sat up in bed before taking it. He looked at his name on the front, written in Hogwarts green ink. "Fawkes came by with it not long after you arrived. He couldn't stay. He's gone back to his owner's side… his former owner I should say." Harry looked up and saw sadness in Snape's eyes.

"Dumbledore," Harry whispered. He closed his eyes and a tear fell. With shaking hands he opened the letter, hoping for both answers and some sort of closure.

Dear Harry

If you are reading this then you are alive and I am not. I am therefore unable to tell you a few things in person. For that I am truly sorry.

If Draco Malfoy has died I am deeply sorry for your loss. I know you have questions that demand answers. I shall try to answer them as best I can. Again I am sorry I cannot be there to face you.

The protection charm I taught you would have protected the heart of a loved one from many things, but not the magic within the Heart Diamond. There was only one thing I believed could save Draco, but I did not believe it possible. You have every right to hate me. I knowingly sacrificed Draco for the Light, but it has been one of many things I have been forced to do that I am not proud of.

The only thing I thought that could perhaps save Draco from his fate was if he sacrificed himself willingly. This ancient magic, which Voldemort has neglected in the past, as you well know, would only be possible if Draco removed the Diamond himself while knowing who and what he gave his life for. That is why I could not tell either of you. I admit I did not believe Draco would do such a thing. I could not leave the fate of our world in any doubt, so I made sure the Diamond would come out of him and you would be there to destroy it.

Hate me all you want Harry, it is deserved on my part. If by some miracle you are both alive I must apologize to you both. Either way I hope, Harry, that you can live your life now that I am finally gone, and my meddling with me.

Albus

Harry was shaking all over by the time he was finished, tears of frustration and betrayal coursing down his cheeks. Snape gazed on worriedly, not knowing what to say. Harry didn't think he had it in him to hate Dumbledore. He felt so utterly defeated by the letter. The hurt was physically painful. There wasn't any feeling at all left for the dead wizard. He felt numb. Wordlessly, he handed the letter over to Snape since it didn't mention horcruxes directly. Harry immediately lay back down and held onto Draco as if the body pressed against him was the only thing keeping him sane.

Snape began the letter with a slight frown on his face, slowly turning to shock and horror, and ending with anger. The second he was finished he made a fist and the letter was crumpled.

"Of all the things Albus has done this is by far the most unforgivable. To make it so that you would have to kill my godson! I actually wish the man alive so I could kill him myself!"

"Please, could you keep it down, Sev?" Harry said tiredly. For a moment Snape gaped at the shortening of his name, as well as Harry's utter lack of wrath. "I just can't care. It's over. Draco's alive. He's dead. He sacrificed his life fighting Voldemort. Hate him all you want. I'm going to take the first sound advice he's given me and just live my life." Snape looked like he wanted to rant some more, but then relented and sighed.

"I suppose we should be grateful to be alive," he said. Harry quirked an eyebrow at him.

"You don't sound so pleased?"

"I had planned to fight to the death, unfortunately the Light side not only won, but managed to retain most of its forces." Harry was immediately attentive.

"So everyone made it?"

"No, but I believe no one you knew is dead other than Dumbledore and Death Eaters." Harry sagged in relief, hugging Draco tighter.

"Ron and Hermione?"

"Alive, but both in their own room here in the hospital. I was actually one of the few who wasn't in a hospital bed by the end of the day." Snape looked slightly smug at this statement.

"Are you sure they're alright? Can I see them?" Snape gazed at him critically for a moment, seeming to search for something.

"If you want I can go and check on them," he said. Harry raised his eyebrows. "What? I am feeling rather magnanimous towards the Boy Who Conquered."

Harry groaned. Snape smirked as he rose.

"I will return shortly." He swept out of the room and Harry was content for the moment to snuggle with his love and try not to think about Dumbledore.

After about five minutes Harry thought he felt Draco stir. He lifted his head and studied the pale face.

"Draco?"

"Harry?" A soft whisper came from the slightly parted lips. Harry smiled as Draco's eyelids fluttered opened.

"Hey," he whispered. "You gave me quite a scare." Harry suppressed the urge to reprimand Draco for his stunt, and simply concentrated on the wonderful feeling of having him alive and beside him.

"Where am I?" was Draco's next question.

"St. Mungo's."

"Not dead?" Harry shook his head.

"Nope." Harry was secretly enjoying the confused look on Draco's face. He deserved it for scaring Harry like that! Even if his actions did save him.

"But… how?" Harry leaned down swiftly and kissed Draco, unable to resist a second longer. Draco was too dazed to respond and when Harry pulled back he relented and tried to explain.

"Sacrificial magic protected your heart. You should read Dumbledore's letter." Harry reached over Draco to the bedside table where Snape had left the crumpled piece of paper. He helped Draco prop himself up against the pillows. Draco read the letter and at the end he snorted.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Draco said to the letter. Harry could detect Draco was more hurt than he was letting on, trying to cover it with sarcasm.

"It doesn't matter anymore. We're here, alive." Draco put the letter away and then put a hand over his chest. By unspoken agreement Harry helped him unbutton his pyjama shirt. The only thing visible was a small bandage directly over his heart. Draco pulled it off and saw that the skin underneath was already healed. Harry leaned down and pressed his lips against Draco's chest. He continued upwards, kissing up to Draco's shoulder and then up to his ear, the blond Slytherin humming in appreciation. His hands snaked around Harry's waist and pulled the other boy closer. Their lips met hungrily. When they eventually separated they smiled at each other.

"I can love you with all my heart now," Draco said. Harry gave a startled laugh.

"Draco, I believe you are in serious danger of becoming a sap," he said, laughing even more at Draco's indignant look, but then suddenly growing serious when he remembered something. "How did you know?"

"Know what?" Draco asked.

"About the diamond." Draco immediately looked guilty and refused to meet Harry's eye. "Draco," Harry pressed. "I won't be mad. It's all over and there no point in getting angry. I just want to know." Draco sighed, but as he opened his mouth the door opened also and Snape returned.

"Draco," he said, coming over to the bed and laying a hand on Draco's shoulder. "How are you feeling?" He got a small smile in response and sat back down in his chair by the bed, addressing Harry as he did so. "Weasley and Granger are fine. They are sleeping." Harry thanked the man and then turned back expectantly to Draco.

"What?" the blond asked, sighing when Harry only gave him a pointed look.

Draco explained about the potion in a very quiet voice, Snape and Harry straining to hear. He avoided telling them why he hadn't informed the Order and he was staring at the bed sheets when he finished.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Harry, of course, had to ask.

"Because I knew the only reason the potion wasn't finished was because Severus had been making sure it wasn't. I was too weak… I was too scared not to finish it."

"Amazing." Draco looked up sharply at Snape's comment. The older Slytherin hastened to explain. "I did indeed pretend the potion was more difficult to make, but am still impressed that you managed it. You have the makings of a Potions Master." Draco blushed slightly from the rare praise he got outside the classroom, which meant that it wasn't for show. Harry smiled and kissed Draco's cheek.

"Even though I hate everything to do with prophecy I can't help think it was all meant to happen. If you hadn't known then you would never have taken it out on your own."

"Indeed," Snape said, looking pensive. He rose abruptly. "I think I shall leave you now… but remember you are both still weak so don't… do anything strenuous." Harry and Draco exchanged a glance, both blushing now. Harry, however, plucked up the courage and cleared his throat just as Snape was at the door.

"Don't worry, Severus, we don't have any of your wonderful potion after all." The two in the bed were very shocked to see the old professor blush before making a hasty retreat. They burst into laughter as soon as the door had shut.

"I can't believe you said that!" Draco said between chuckles.

"I don't think I believe I said it either. So far everything has been completely surreal," Harry said, looking at his boyfriend fondly.

"But a good surreal, right?" Harry didn't bother answering with words, but instead leaned in and tasted his love once more.

XXX

Harry and Draco ended up discovering yet again that there are many things they could do that wasn't too strenuous and that didn't involve any special potions. The only problem came when a very flustered nurse interrupted them.

A lot of people had ended up in hospital beds by the end of the battle. The reporters were desperate for news and so most of the Order members had private rooms with guards outside.

Harry and Draco grew stronger quickly, and soon they were visited by Ron and Hermione, who sat down beside each other in Harry's bed, since its occupant had yet to remove himself from Draco's. The Slytherin still remained mostly silent despite everything. He still wasn't sure how to act around Harry's closest friends.

"Tell me about the battle," Harry asked. Ron grinned and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"It was my idea," Ron said.

"What was?" Harry asked, looking from one to the other.

"Well, see most of the Death Eaters were sneaky Slytherins," Ron began. "Most of them," he emphasised at Harry's dark look. "And they tend to sneak up on you. So I grabbed Hermione and we fought back-to-back. We already outnumbered the Death Eaters since not all of them were at the meeting. Soon all the Order members had paired up and we thrashed them good! But then your wands connected and everything fell silent. We didn't jump into action again until you killed him." Ron said everything in a rush and Harry had to concentrate to get the gist of it.

"The most amazing outcome from Ron's tactic was that Lupin paired up with Snape suddenly," Hermione commented. Ron nodded several times.

"Wow," was all Harry could say, mentally making a note to observe how Snape behaved around Remus from now on.

"Not to sound disappointed or anything, but how is it Draco survived? We don't know what happened. All Snape would tell us is that you both made it," Hermione said tentatively, not wanting to offend. Harry and Draco told the story together, glossing over the potion parts since Draco was still a little ashamed about the whole thing. They showed Ron and Hermione Dumbledore's letter. Both their reactions were unexpected. Ron bellowed obscenities on Draco's behalf and Hermione cried silently. When Ron comforted her she managed to find her voice.

"His funeral is in two days," she said, wiping at her eyes. "I understand his reasoning, but it's just… so horrible." Ron squeezed her in a half-embrace and the four fell silent, pondering the mystery of Albus Dumbledore.

"So… I've been meaning to ask," Harry began, trying to change the subject. "When exactly did you two get together? Because I know something happened at Halloween, but then you guys never said anything!" Ron and Hermione had the decency to look sheepish.

"We're sorry, mate. Something did happen… well, we only talked all night. We didn't really get together until Christmas, but then you told us about your boyfriend trouble and we didn't want to… rub it in I guess," Ron explained.

"Oh," Harry said. "I guess it's ok… I mean I basically knew already so-"

"What sort of trouble were we having at Christmas?" Draco asked, frowning at Harry. "As far as I remember we were fine… didn't you like your present after all?" Harry's hand immediately went to his neck; since it was usually invisible he hadn't thought about it since he woke up. He sighed in relief when he felt it was still there. He grabbed his wand and spelled it visible. Hermione gasped softly. Harry grinned.

"I never took it off, you know. Not once." Draco's eyebrows rose with that statement.

"Not even…?" Harry shook his head. Draco pulled him in and gave him a hard kiss. Both were panting slightly when they parted. "You're amazing," Draco whispered, hoping the others wouldn't hear. If their sly smiles were any indication, they had. "So… what Christmas troubles?"

"Just that I knew you were hiding something and that we kept avoiding talking about the war." Draco sighed and nodded.

The four managed to discuss the battle and everyone involved in a friendly manner, Draco included. It was really surreal, Harry mused, and things just kept getting more so. Suddenly Draco threw up his hands in frustration.

"The dining room will be a complete mess, especially after the Aurors have cleaned up!" he exclaimed. Harry and Ron tried to hide their chuckles, while Hermione frowned in sympathy.

"I thought we were going to get a cottage?" Harry asked innocently.

"Draco Malfoy? In a cottage?" Ron asked incredulously.

"We'll need to get away. I can't imagine what kind of press we'll be getting after this," Harry groaned. "Besides. I don't think either of us want to live at Malfoy Manor, do you?" Draco shook his head.

"Maybe when we're older and the place had been thoroughly cleared of all things Lucius."

"You still have a year at Hogwarts to decide." Harry blinked at Hermione, while Draco nodded.

"I didn't think I'd be going back," Harry mused aloud.

"Why not?" Draco asked. Harry shrugged.

"I didn't think I'd survive."

"No, no depressing thoughts. We're alive. He's dead. End of story," Draco declared. Harry turned to him with a mischievous grin.

"I think our story is far from finished." Draco didn't get to reply as Harry was examining his tonsils with his tongue. They ignored Ron and Hermione's chuckles and didn't hear it when the door closed behind the pair.


End file.
